


It Isn't Just Insanity

by lvmehtme



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Cutting, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Harm, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-27
Updated: 2014-09-11
Packaged: 2018-02-15 01:56:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 23
Words: 124,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2211411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lvmehtme/pseuds/lvmehtme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Months after the Nogitsune incident, things have calmed down and Stiles finds himself falling into a severe depression. When another supernatural explosion wrecks havoc in Beacon Hills, Stiles finds himself trapped in Derek's loft with Scott and Isaac. Why is Derek the only one who sees his pain?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Beacon Hills felt like Hell for Stiles. There was madness in every corner of every room, each shadow spreading the chaos deeper into the walls. Sitting in his room with all the lights on did nothing to keep the darkness at bay and no amount of noise could drown out the pandemonium in his mind. Things hadn’t been going right for so long now. Ever since Scott had gotten bit his life had been tossed into turmoil. Yet there was nothing he could do. This was his life now and the only thing he could do was endure it.

But…what if he _couldn’t_ endure it anymore? What if that time had come when he’d just snap and lose all reasoning? It certainly felt like it. For years he’d been dealing with this insanity brought on by the supernatural world invading his human one. Now the power of the Nemeton had loosed a screw inside him. Demons had possessed him and he’d done unspeakable things during possession. How was he still functioning?

“I’m not.” He whispered to himself as he sat on the cold tiles of his bathtub as the frigid water poured over him.

For the past hour he’d sat there, doing nothing, and just contemplating his life. It felt meaningless. He was only human after all. A fragile, broken human.

Stiles ran his fingers through his wet hair for the hundredth time, letting the water run down his arms and drip from his elbows to his knees that were pulled up to his chest. His ass was starting to tingle having fallen asleep from lack of movement. Turning he shut the water off and sat there listening to the last few drips empty into the drain and slumped against the side of the tub. He was so tired.

The thought of his mother flitted through his mind, bringing pain with it but at the same time comfort. He’d be able to tell his mom what was going on. She’d listen to him and pull him out of the tub with a warm towel in her hand, soothing his back with her loving touch all the while telling him how proud she was of him.

Stiles bit out a harsh, self-loathing laugh. Well, she wasn’t here, nobody was, and it was his own damn fault. Slowly he pulled himself upright and tugged the towel from the rack, drying himself off only to the point where he wasn’t dripping everywhere before stepping out. He pulled on some underwear and pajama pants before draping the towel over his head and trudging back to his room across the hall. The house was quiet except for the occasional creaks of ageing wood that never failed to freak him out. It reminded him of how alone he really was. Everyone around him had their own place. Scott, Derek, Isaac…they were all strong werewolves, Lydia a banshee, even Allison was useful with her experience and knowledge as a hunter.

The bed creaked as Stiles flopped down onto it, not bothering to pull the covers down to crawl under or even to make it to his pillow. There was no point. He wasn’t comfortable no matter where he laid so he just shut his eyes, feeling the drying water settle on his skin in little pin-points of coldness. Maybe he’d sleep, maybe he’d dream, but most likely he’d lay awake until he saw the faint hints of pink sun in the sky. Yeah, that was most likely the case. And tomorrow he’d drive to school in his beaten, old Jeep and pretend to be happy until he was alone and fighting the madness again.

 

Or maybe he just wouldn’t get up. Stiles lay there through the night, listening in ever growing paranoia to the sounds of darkness. When finally, so many sleepless hours later, he saw the faint light of dawn he slowly sat back up, not having moved the entire night. His father would be home from the night shift in about an hour. There were cricks in his neck and back from not moving and his hand was asleep but he paid it no mind as he stood and crossed his room to his closet, pulling it open slowly as if a monster were on the other side. He was more surprised to see only his clothes in the darkness and gave a small, resigned sigh before jerking a t-shirt and flannel shirt from their hangers.

As if the task grieved him greatly he pulled his arms through and closed the closet door once more. From his drawers he pulled a worn pair of pants and tugged them on before grabbing his backpack from where it lay at the foot of his bed and made his way downstairs to the kitchen where he grabbed a bowl of cereal before sitting down at the table to wait for his father.

He didn’t have to wait long before he heard the rumble of the cruiser pull up in the driveway and the clacking of keys as they turned the lock in the front door. Once he heard the front door shut once more he pulled his lips into a convincing, fake smile.

“Hey Dad!” he calls when he knows his dad’s close enough. “How was work?”

“Boring. Speeding tickets and a couple of vandals was all for tonight.” Sherriff Stilinski says as he walks into the kitchen with his son. “You sleep alright? You look like a panda.”

Stiles gave his dad his most comforting smile, well, as much of one as he could muster. “Yeah, I have like a dozen tests this week and I have _not_ been studying enough so I stayed up too late. Oops.” He said with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders as he dipped the spoon into his cereal as if he was going to take a bite.

Papa Stilinski gave him a small frown that accompanied a smile before clapping his son on the shoulder. “Well, I’m going to hit the hay. Have a good day at school son!” he called as he walked up the stairs.

Stiles waited for the slam of his door before slumping into his chair. He rubbed his palms over his eyes a couple of times before getting back up and dumping the cereal down the drain and setting the bowl in the dishwasher. He waits about twenty minutes, giving his dad enough time to change out of his uniform, shower, and settle into bed before he trudges back upstairs, dragging his backpack behind him.

Stiles stares up at the ceiling from his bed blankly before pulling his phone out of his pocket. He hasn’t heard from anyone in days. The last time Scott texted him was to get some information on the different types of wolfsbane and which ones grew around their area. That took all of ten minutes and once again his phone was silent. Isaac never had a reason to text him and Derek had called him about two weeks ago to ask where Scott was. Even his dad didn’t call him anymore. There hadn’t been any commotion in over three months. He was once again a useless human.

 

The days went on like that. The school had called the first day but Stiles had picked up, pretending to be his dad, and told them Stiles would be absent for a while due to a rare disease he’d picked up while hiking. It was a lame excuse but after a few promises to send a ‘doctor’s note’ they let him be. Papa Stilinski didn’t even question his son’s wellbeing after a while and Stiles didn’t offer any reassurances.

The days were monotonous, pretending to be ok and go to school, barely eating a slice of bread and a glass of water, taking a shower then crawling into bed for a sleepless night. Sometimes though, there would be days that would break the norm such as a stumble up the step or a sudden slam of the door, but even more prominent came in the form of a broken glass cup. Stiles had fallen into a trance like state as he’d stared out the window one morning, a half empty cup of water in his hand. The condensation had gathered on the outside and slipped from his grasp, crashing and shattering on the ground. He didn’t even jump at the loud noise. Instead he calmly, sullenly, looked down at the mess and sighed.

“Clumsy.” He whispered and grabbed the towel from beside the sink and bent down onto his knees to start cleaning up.

As he grabbed the pieces a particularly sharp edge sliced right into the palm of his hand. The sudden spark of sensation travelled through his arm and up into his brain. His heart stuttered a bit, beating wildly before the pain receded and he was once again staring blank-faced at his bloodied hand.

“Huh…” he mumbled before continuing his clean-up.

He lay in bed that night and stared at his scab, remembering that flicker of feeling. He’d forgotten for a while what feeling felt like. After getting beaten up by supernatural things so often he’d thought he’d hate this pain again, but instead it brought back those feelings of belonging. Remembering all those times he’d been called upon to assist in a dangerous mission that eventually got him hurt. But it’d been worth it. He cradled his hand to his chest and managed a few hours of sleep that night until he woke screaming into his blankets.

Another couple of days passed by with absolutely nothing. Stiles kept looking at his healing palm and tried to recall that pain but it was getting harder to remember. Finally, two days later, late into the night, Stiles sat up in bed and stared at his palm. His scab had fallen off and there was no more pain to remind him of any feelings at all. He couldn’t take it.

Slowly he climbed out of bed and tugged open one of his drawers at his desk and rifled around until he found a small, rectangular box. He almost never opened it since he never really needed it. Clutching it to his chest he pulled open his door and walked across the hall into the bathroom and turned on the light. He looked paler than he had even a few days ago under the harsh, yellow light. Quickly, with shaking hands, he pulled open the box and slid the cold metal tool into his waiting palm. The box cutter reflected the awful light, showing off its unused and sharp edges.

“Will you help me?” Stiles’ voice cracked slightly. He knew he was talking to an inanimate object but so far it was the only thing that gave him even a shred of hope.

Slowly he extended the blade and held out his left hand, the same hand with the tiny, white scar on the palm, and put the cool metal to the underside of his wrist and let it glide down the expanse of skin. At first there was no indication that it’d done anything and disappointment sat heavily within Stiles. Then there were beads of red dewing on the lips of the cut before spilling over into crimson tears. Stiles watched, fascinated, then there was a flash of pain as he jostled the injury and he felt that same spark of remembrance. That feeling that he got whenever he’d done something dangerous but useful. Finally, he felt relief from this endless nothingness.

“I knew you could do it.” He said fondly to the cold metal and sat there, feeling the warmth spread over his arm and through his body.

The cut was shallow but it’d definitely take a few days or so to heal. Stiles sighed in contentment for the first time in ages instead of an empty sigh of cold acceptance. It took him a few more moments to get up and wash the drying blood off his arm and cover the cut with a small strip of gauze, since a Band-Aid would simply stick to the cut. He went to bed feeling better than he had in weeks, months even.

 

After over a week with no contact, no suspicious glances from his dad, even though his acting couldn’t have been that good, and another two nights in the bathroom with his new metal ‘buddy’, Stiles’ phone buzzed in his hand. He was tempted to just let it go but then there was another buzz. Two messages in the same few minute after so long with no contact? What was so important?

Stiles pulled his phone up and clicked into his messages. There was one from Scott and one surprisingly from Derek.

_4:26pm._ **Scott: Dude wherev u been? U missed 2 big tests! Also meeting 2nite @ Dereks.**

_4:31pm._ **Derek: Meeting. 7pm.**

Well, so much for eloquence. Stiles didn’t feel like going. He didn’t feel like doing anything so he just shot two quick texts to each, both saying: **Can’t. Sick.** There wasn’t an immediate reply but after about twenty minutes or so there was one buzz. The responder’s name surprised him.

_4:54pm._ **Derek: Sick with what?**

Stiles heaved a sigh and shut his phone off. He didn’t need to talk to people who had never given a damn and wouldn’t give a damn even if he talked to them. The three cuts under his wrappings ached faintly and he let his fingers travel over the gauze fondly, as if it were his most precious thing. His box cutter was in the back pocket of his jeans where he always kept it now. Even while he ‘slept’ it was always close by. That was all the friends he needed.

Stiles watched the sun slowly set in the cold autumn sky outside his window and once it was finally gone and the clock read _6:43pm_ Stiles turned over on his bed to face the wall. His dad was supposed to leave any minute for the graveyard shift down at the station like he always did since he’d learned about the supernatural shenanigans. Sure enough, as soon as the clock hit _6:45pm_ there was a soft knock on his door.

“Hey kiddo, I’m leaving for work. Need anything?” it was the same mantra every night before he left.

“Nah, thanks dad. Have a good night at work. Be safe.” Stiles called back to his dad who gave two knocks on the wood of his door before clomping downstairs.

The front door closed with a slight bang and Stiles let himself relax all the way once more. He didn’t want his dad to see him like this, lifeless and alone. The cruiser rumbled past the window and down the street and once again Stiles felt so very much alone again. The pain from his self-inflicted wounds had subsided to the point where he could barely feel it. He pressed the pads of his fingers roughly into the scratches but they’d healed to the point there was only a twinge of pain. There was a brief flicker of anticipation as he realized he could feel that sweet pain once again and he quickly got up from his bed and locked the door to the bathroom, sinking onto the cold tile.

“Time to make me smile buddy.” He said fondly, sickly, to the shining, well-kept blade.

He tore off the bandage and looked over the healing scabs of his previous cuts. Slowly he pressed the metal edge to his skin and applied pressure, feeling it bite into him as he dragged it across his wrist. Blood immediately welled along the edge and spilled over, dripping onto the tile floor between his feet. Relief and satisfaction sang through him as small waves of pain radiated from his wrist. It felt so good. It made him feel right again.

Slowly, what felt like hours later, he clambered up off the floor and cleaned up the mess he’d made with toilet paper and flushed the remains away. He cleaned his wound and bandaged it before making his way back to his room and curled up at the head of his bed, holding his throbbing hand against his chest and breathing out in contentment. He always slept well for a few hours afterwards, with the dull ache reminding him he was still alive.

 

In the morning, as he watched the sky turn into pinks and yellows and blues, Stiles grabbed his phone once more and turned it back on. The battery beeped in low health but Stiles ignored it as he opened up his messages. He had three missed messages. Two from Scott and one from Isaac. None from Derek but that wasn’t surprising.

_6:50pm_ **Scott: Where r u?! Dereks gonna thro a fit!**

_6:56pm_ **Isaac: You need to get here now. Derek’s not looking too happy.**

_7:59pm_ **Scott: Thanks a lot dude! Dereks ttly po’d cuz u didnt sho up. Wat the hell man?!**

Stiles rubbed a hand over his face and grumbled something about unthankful bastards and quickly typed out a reply to Scott.

_6:24am_ **Dude, calm down. Sorry I missed your stupid meeting.**

He sent the message quickly and stood up, grabbing the box cutter out from under his pillow. He threw on clothes quickly and without a second glance to see if they even matched before stuffing the cutter into his back pocket and jamming his feet into shoes and socks. He missed two weeks of class but had been keeping up online so he didn’t have too much catching up. Quickly he printed his copy of a doctor’s note, wrote the cause of his absence and forged his doctor’s signature before hopping down the stairs*. His left wrist itched pleasantly, hidden under bandages beneath his long sleeve, and it reassured him slightly knowing he could still feel.

His dad walked through the front door as his toast popped.

“Morning Dad!” he called as he slathered butter all over the whole wheat bread.

“Mornin’ Stiles.” Was his sleepy reply followed shortly by a yawn. “You seem spritely this morning. Finally get a decent night’s sleep?”

“Uh, yeah! Gotta go, I’m meeting up with Scott to work on some History project thingy.” He said quickly before he skipped out of the kitchen and down the hall. He grabbed his keys from its hook and waved at his dad with his toast in his mouth as he shut and locked the door behind him.

His jeep was covered in a fine layer of morning dew and Stiles drew his finger along the side, gathering the water as he slid into the driver’s seat. His baby roared to life and he calmly let the sounds and smell of his Jeep wash over him. He felt better today than he had in weeks and he rubbed his thumb over his bandages in a new found habit before putting his car into gear and backing her out. The drive to school was calming until he hit the parking lot and jerked his car all over the lot looking for a spot. Finally he parked in the far back corner and hopped out, slinging his pack over his shoulder and locking the Jeep. He patted his back pocket for his knife and felt its weight settled comfortably against his hand.

“Dude! Stiles where the hell have you been?!” Scott yelled at him when he reached the grass in front of the school.

“Why are there so many people here today? It’s only like 6:50. School doesn’t start for another forty minutes.” Stiles asked, ignoring Scott’s previous question.

“Everyone’s studying for finals! You missed so much! Now are you going to answer me?”

“Finals.” Stiles mumbled and thought for a second. Had he really been away that long?

“Stiles!”

“Fine! Ok, alright! No need to shout! I was out sick. Had a kidney and bladder infection. Took forever to heal.” He said quickly and with as much ‘truth’ as he could muster.

Scott narrowed his eyes suspiciously for a few seconds before sighing and shaking his head.

“Fine, whatever dude. Just make sure to warn me next time you’re gonna be out so long.”

“Yeah, cuz you text me _all_ the time.” Stiles said sarcastically and rolled his eyes, and head, with a shoulder shrug.

“Things have just been slow lately.” Scott says as if that’s an excuse and quickly looks up, eyes narrowing as they walk into the hall.

Kira’s leaning against the lockers, reading something on her phone when Scott claps Stiles on the shoulder.

“Catch you later dude.”

“Sure, sure.”

Scott doesn’t even notice the sarcasm and stress in Stiles’ voice before running off to lean on the locker next to Kira and stare cheesily at her until she looks up and smiles widely at him. Stiles sighs once again and trudges through the student to the library where he studies for the next thirty minutes until the bell rings and he’s off to class, his fingers tapping out a nervous rhythm on his bandages.

That day didn’t go well for Stiles. His teachers all asking him where’s he’s been and if he’s done the assignments that were due. It had started steadily raining during 4th period and when lunch came about the cafeteria smelled like wet dog and mildew. He hadn’t brought a lunch so instead of joining Scott as his table with Kira, Isaac, Allison, Lydia, and the twins, he made his way to his Jeep and sat in there until he heard the bell ring. He contemplated on just going home but decided against it since his dad would hear the sound of his Jeep.

As he stepped out of the warmth of his Jeep and into the pouring rain his foot slid on the slick white marker that designated each space and his feet were wiped out from under him. His arms flailed and he felt himself come to a jarring stop just as his elbow connected with something solid. There was cursing and his funny bone tingled from the impact as Stiles whipped his head to the side to see just what the hell just happened.

Derek’s furious face came level to his as his hand clutched his elbow. Stiles’ eyes widened impossibly as he realized he wasn’t sitting on the ground but was in fact being supported by Derek’s arms.

“What the hell Stiles!?” Derek roared at him and shoved him against his Jeep.

Stiles quickly regained his footing in time to avoid another spill on the ground. He was still staring at Derek as if he was a completely foreign entity he’d never laid eyes on before.

“Uhm…what are you doing here?” he asked slowly.

“Scott said you were back in school.” Derek said as he lifted his hand to his nose to check if it was bleeding. It wasn’t. “You missed the pack meeting Stiles.” He growled low in his throat.

“Uh, yeah. I already told you I was sick. Just ask Scott.” He said, blowing it off as if it were nothing.

“Sick with what?” Derek asked, surprising Stiles again although he doesn’t know exactly why.

“That doesn’t matter. I just couldn’t make it ok? I’ll go to the next one.” He said and began walking back towards the school. At this rate he was going to be late to his next class.

There was a yank on the fabric of his shirt then he was slammed against the wet door of his Jeep, the rain water soaking quickly into the back of his flannel and his t-shirt beneath that. Derek’s arm pinned him there, pressing against his collarbones.

“Let me go! I need to get to class! I can’t exactly afford to miss another one! I’ve missed like two weeks and I’m way behind and I have a lot of work to do! And it’s raining! Can’t you do the whole ‘pin Stiles against hard surfaces painfully and roar in his face’ some other time?!” Stile whined as he tried to wriggle his way out of Derek’s hold. He only succeeded in making his clothes wetter.  Finally he gave a frustrated sigh when Derek didn’t do or say anything and went limp in his grasp. “Fine, what do you want?”

“What is wrong with you Stilinski?” Derek asked quietly, moving his face closer to Stiles as he narrowed his eyes as if he could find his answer written on him.

“Nothing! Now let me go you asshole!”

Derek’s eyes narrowed and he finally dropped his arm. Stiles tugged his soaked back off the Jeep’s door and glared at Derek who glared right back. The second bell signaling the start of class rang and Stiles groaned.

“See what you did?! Now I’m going to miss part of a very important lesson all thanks to you. So, thank you!” he yelled at him sarcastically as he squirmed his way around the unmoving wolf.

He didn’t look back at him as he stomped back to the school, simply grabbed the cold, reassuring metal in his back pocket as he made his way to class. Of course everyone stared when he trudged through the class looking like a drowned cat but thankfully no one said anything and even the teacher dismissed his lateness. Only when he was seated at his desk by the window did he look out across the parking lot. He didn’t see Derek anywhere and shook his head before turning his attention back to the boring lecture proceeding in front of him.

The day dragged on and that emptiness he felt like a constant reminder of how useless he was seemed to fill him. It drained him of everything and he found himself struggling to keep up with every class. He dug his fingers and nails constantly into his wrist, feeling that twinge of pain just so he could feel _something_. He also didn’t see Scott or anyone from the group for the rest of the day. Lacrosse had been cancelled due to the rain and mud on the field so he was free as soon as the last bell rang. He didn’t run into anybody as he dragged his feet to his Jeep and leaned his forehead against the steering wheel, waiting for the edge of madness to recede from his mind enough for him to drive. It took a bit and by the time he sat up to look out his foggy windshield pretty much everyone was gone from the parking lot.

The drive home took longer than the drive to school. He didn’t feel the need to go fast and just dawdled down the streets until he made his way up his driveway and shut off the engine. He blew out a breath and sat there, looking up at his house. He wondered if his dad woke up from the sound of his Jeep or if he could slip in unnoticed. Opening his door seemed to take effort and it took even more effort unlocking and pushing open the front door. His feet were wet but he didn’t care as he made his way straight to the bathroom. He shucked his clothes and slid heavily to the floor.

“Hey little buddy.” He greeted his cutter like a dear friend and pressed the slider so it slid out of its sheath. The way the light bounced off of it made his stomach flutter.

Gently, almost reverently, he pressed the sharp blade once more to his skin after ridding himself of the soggy bandages and drew it slowly across the pale skin. The previous cut from the night before had split open when he tore the bandage off and was now beading red at the torn edges. The new cut slowly dripped rubies down his white skin and Stiles put the blade back against his skin and slid it once more right next to the fresh one. The feel of double the pain ignited warmth within him once more and his frayed nerves calmed.

In that moment nothing else mattered. Not Scott ditching him and not caring about where he’d been or how he’s been, not Derek with his grumpy, broody attitude and cryptic questions. Not his dad always working the night shift and not the stress of school and not the madness that seemed to riddle every surface of this forsaken town. All that mattered was the deep bliss dripping onto his skin. And he stayed like that for hours. Long after the blood had dried and scabbed over, leaving his skin tight around the new marks.

Finally, when dusk had come and he heard his father shuffling around in his room, Stiles lifted his heavy body off the floor and quickly rinsed off and tugged his clothes back over his thin frame. He tugged the door open as soon as his dad walked out of his room.

“Hey. Evenin’ kid. How was school?” he asked as he walked by him towards the stairs.

“It was just school. Boring. It’s been raining pretty heavily all day dad. Careful tonight.” He said with a small smile.

Papa Stilinski gave him a half smile and patted him on the shoulder.

“Alright. Need anything?”

Stiles smiled at the familiar question. “Nah dad, it’s cool.”

Papa Stilinski nodded and disappeared downstairs while Stiles dragged himself and his backpack into his room. He threw his shoes towards the closet to finish drying and rid himself of his clothes in favor of his pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. Finally he collapsed on his bed, exhausted.

Tomorrow was Friday so he might as well attend school. Thanksgiving break was only a week away. He sighed, wishing he’d just taken all three weeks off and gone straight into the break. He shut his eyes and listened as thunder split through the air. In the back of his mind he wondered if the thunder and lightning was even more intense for werewolves. Well, with heightened senses he’s sure it probably is but he makes a small not in his mind to ask Scott or maybe Isaac about it later. He doesn’t want to talk to any of those pretenders right now.

“I just called Scott a pretender.” He laughed to himself. “I’m a terrible friend.”

He sank into his mattress and pulled the covers up over him before curling his hand around the cutter’s comforting weight under his pillow and lay there awake for hours until sleep caught him. Even if it didn’t last long, sleep felt like a glorious release until the nightmares came.


	2. Chapter 2

The morning was an unwelcome occurrence. The alarm on his bedside table blared to life, startling him out of the stupor he’d been in half the night. After waking up from his nightmare he’d clutched the cutter tightly in his grasp while pressing and rubbing his thumb harshly over his bandages. Slowly he’d calmed enough to fall into that trance-like state he was in seventy percent of the time these days. Quickly he flipped over on his bed and slammed his hand down on the off button and the room settled into silence. He didn’t want to get up today. There was nothing and nobody waiting for him. What was the point of going?

“Well, my dad for one. He’d throw a fit if he knew I skipped. I need to graduate too. Ugh.” Stiles groaned as he contemplated the pros and cons out loud. Sadly the cons of staying home outweighed the pros and he slowly clambered out of bed.

When he shoved his feet into his shoes he realized the insides hadn’t dried all the way from yesterday and there was a damp squish as his socks soaked up the frigid liquid. Stiles groaned and stared out at the heavy clouds in the sky through his wet window panes. It seemed everything was trying to make his life Hell. Well, it was working.

Wet tires rolled up into the driveway as Stiles stepped out of his room and shut the door, backpack slung over one shoulder. He was running a little late and so was his dad. There was no time for idle chitchat or breakfast. When he made his way down the stairs he gave his dad a quick pat on the back, a muttered ‘good morning’, and was quickly out the door into the rain. In his hurry he didn’t notice the small package sitting in his passenger seat as he quickly started up the cold Jeep and drove down the slippery roads to school.

“Stiles!” Scott called as he ran towards his Jeep. “I’ve been calling you since last night and you haven’t answered any of my texts! Dude, what’s going on with you? Derek said you haven’t replied to him either.”

Stiles gave him an odd look and reached into his backpack’s front pocket to retrieve his phone. When he hit the power button nothing happened. He tapped it a few times but still nothing. Then he remembered the low battery beeps from yesterday and groaned.

“Ah, sorry man. I forgot to charge it since, like, a week ago. I never get any messages or anything so I didn’t think about it. What was so important that you had to contact me?” Stiles tried to keep the bitter edge out of his voice.

Scott didn’t notice the sharpness and just nodded. “Well, we think there’s something new in Beacon Hills. There was a body found this morning underneath a car.”

Stiles frowned at him. “A body? But, wouldn’t my dad have told me if there was something going on? He didn’t say anything to me.” He paused and gave a small roll of his head. “Well, I did sorta dart out the door this morning. Damn it. Is my dad in danger?!” he asked quickly.

“Whoa, hey, calm down. We don’t know anything for now. Which is why you need to keep your phone turned on at all times and actually talk to us. I don’t know much about the body, only what I heard from Derek and you know he doesn’t talk much.”

Stiles nodded as the trudged across the wet asphalt to the front of the school. The squeak of wet sneakers echoed through the halls as the stepped inside.

“So, you and Derek talk often?” he asked on a side note.

“Uh, well, yeah. We look out for each other and I’m thinking about actually bringing him into my pack. Not just as a consultant or an omega or whatever he is right now. I haven’t talked to him about that yet though.”

“Oh, ok. Why didn’t you tell me this?”

“Because I just started thinking about it these past two weeks and you haven’t been here!” Scott pointed out.

“Why couldn’t you text me this?”

Scott opened his mouth to answer but his name was called from off to the side. Kira. Stiles gave her a small glare but no one saw. As soon as he was once again ditched he quickly stalked to his locker, wrenched it open and stuffed his backpack inside, grabbing only what he needed before slamming it once more. His thumb immediately started its habitual rubbing on his bandage as he stalked to his first class, praying the day would be done soon.

Math dragged by and since none of the material was new to Stiles he stared out the window as the rain picked up again. The wind howled loudly, whistling past the building and Stiles thought back to the news of the dead man. Was this unusual weather due to a new supernatural creature or was it simply Mother Nature trying to cleanse this Hell hole he was stuck in? Whatever it was it was rough. The trees whipped furiously outside and by the time second period was over the lights were flickering on and off in the building.

Scott found him during passing period looking fidgety next to his locker. “This weather is really starting to freak me out.”

“It’s just a little rain and wind.” Stiles scoffed and slammed his locker shut just as a crack of thunder rolled through the air.

Scott jumped his eyes wide as he stared towards the front doors.

“You going to be ok? Is this weather really that bad for you werewolfians?” Stiles patted his friends shoulder as he stared at Scott’s frazzled hair. “Dude, your hair is totally standing on end.” He said running his hand through the static-y locks.

“I-I don’t know. We haven’t had a storm like this since we were small. I wasn’t a werewolf then.”

Stiles nodded and thought for a second. “Alright then. You should probably call Derek and if he doesn’t answer or the towers are down then you should get to his place. Don’t want you wolfing out in the middle of class. Take Isaac with you.”

Scott looked at him with frightened eyes, dwelling on his every word. “Yeah, ok, I’ll do that. Sounds good. How am I going to get there? I rode my bike this morning.”

“Just call Derek for now and worry about that later. I’ve got to get to class. If you really need a ride come get me. Next period is free study.”

Without glancing back Stiles strode off down the hallway. Let’s see how Scott liked it when he was ditched when he needed it. Stiles sighed at the harsh thoughts but didn’t turn back. Scott was really being a lousy friend. He was restless as he hunched over his notes at his desk. The words blurred together until after a while he just sat back and stared out the darkened window at the unforgivable clouds. The time slowly slipped by and after a bit Stiles had fallen into that trance again, his body becoming still as he thought and did nothing. His eyes were open but he didn’t really see anything. Only the sound of the wind told him that he was awake.

“Stiles!”

The classroom door banged open and Scott and Isaac tumbled through the door looking beyond feverish. The teacher swiftly stood up and opened his mouth, about to yell.

“Scott! Are you sick again?! Oh man let’s get you guys to the infirmary! Sorry teach! I gotta make sure these guys are alright. Let’s go guys! Hurry before you barf!”

His teacher’s face paled at the thought of vomit anywhere near them and let them leave without a word. The other students stared until they were gone, their sneakers squeaking down the slippery halls.

“I take it you need my assistance?”

“I need you to take us to Derek’s. I got a hold of him but just barely. I think the towers went down just like you said. He told me to go to his loft.”

They made it to their lockers and quickly dialed in their combinations to grab their stuff.

“Ok. Do you want me to pack your bike in the back of my Jeep or can you come back and get it, like, tomorrow when Nature isn’t trying to kill us?” Stiles said sarcastically but with a hint of seriousness.

“Tomorrow or whenever’s just fine! Just come on!” Scott whined and Isaac looked at the both of them with terrified puppy eyes as another crack of lightning and thunder made the lights dim, flicker, then cease their lighting altogether.

“Fine, come on. Just make sure I don’t get blown away.” He mumbled and they made a quick dash for the doors.

The wind was absolutely manic. Stiles had been kidding about being blown away but now it was a complete possibility. They were immediately soaked to the skin in the flooding rain and the wind made it feel like icy needles. Stiles managed to barely keep himself upright with one hand clamped tightly on Scott’s shoulder and the other shielding his eyes from the onslaught.  Isaac was doing the same to Stiles but it was to steady Stiles not himself and for a second there was a flash of warmth before the freezing rain drowned it out.

They reached the Jeep after 10 minutes of struggling through the storm. Stiles managed to get in without being crushed by his door only because Isaac held it open before it slammed shut behind him. Scott and Isaac climbed in through the other door, Isaac in the middle, before they were shut inside the cold cabin of his Jeep. They were breathing hard and all looked miserable.

“Let’s get to Derek’s. I need to call my Dad somehow too to tell him.” Stiles said quickly before starting his Jeep up.

For a second fear that his Jeep wouldn’t start under such conditions but then his Jeep rumbled to life beneath them and he heaved a sigh of relief and put it into gear. It took a long time getting out of the parking lot without crashing into other cars. There were other students also struggling to get to their cars, obviously too worried about the intensity of the storm to stay at school any longer. The roads were slick and the wind blew water straight at them, blinding the windshield even with the wipers at full power. Luckily Stiles had been to the loft enough times to know the route by heart.

After a grueling forty minute drive in the rain and smelling like wet dogs (Stiles laughed at the thought of two werewolves smelling like wet dog) they made it to the parking structure next to the building Derek lived in. The elevator wasn’t working so they took the stairs, running up them two at a time. Stiles was the last one to arrive, breathless and hunched over, out of breath. The other two were already pounding on the door practically begging Derek to let them in. A clank came from the other side of the metal door before it was wrenched open.

Stiles eyes went wider than ever before as he took in a shifty looking Derek. Even Derek seemed absolutely freaked out by the storm. When thunder tore through the sky once more Derek’s arms flew out and shoved the two inside before grabbing the front of Stiles’ soaked shirt and yanking him inside as well before bolting the door shut once more. The giant wall of windows was as covered as possible by blankets and boxes on the sills but the top just couldn’t be reached, showing off the brooding storm clouds.

“So, you guys hate lightning, huh?”

“Most creatures hate lightning. A great amount of humans hate it too.” Derek huffed as he started pulling clothes out of his drawers.

“What are you doing?”

“You three are dripping all over my floor.” He said and tossed a pair of pants and a shirt at all three of them. “Hurry up and get changed.”

Scott and Isaac caught the clothes no problem but Stiles fumbled for a bit, dropping the shirt.

“Uh, can I get a long sleeve? Not that I’m not appreciative of your generosity but I’m kinda human, you know…no werewolf heat to keep me warm.” Stiles said as he held up the t-shirt. A long sleeved shirt hit him in the face before he even finished his last sentence. “Yeah, that’ll do. Thanks.” He said as he took off his shoes by the door so he didn’t track more water in.

He was about to go towards the bathroom but he realized the light was off and the other room downstairs was also occupied.

“Do you want me to go upstairs to change or wait here for them to get out?” he asked slowly so he didn’t irritate the already irate werewolf.

“Just change there!” Derek said, exasperated.

“Alright! No need to get huffy!” Stiles held up his hands in surrender as he set the dry clothes down on the shelf beside the door before turning back towards Derek. “Uh, dude. Are you going to watch me change or something? I kinda need privacy before I bare my junk to the world.”

“Jeez Stiles.” Derek rolled his eyes but turned around anyways, facing towards his bed, but keeping his back solidly to the window.

Stiles shuffled to the side a little more just to make sure he was out of Derek’s peripherals before he shed his jeans and two shirts and donned the dry ones. They were large on him but they were dry and warm so he wasn’t complaining. Though it was uncomfortable without his underwear but those were just way too wet for him to keep on. The bandages on his wrist were soaked too but those would have to stay so the sleeve got a little wet.

“’Kay, I’m decent. Sorry but I had to take off my underwear too since they’re totally sopping wet. They’d get your sweats all wet which would then get your seats wet if I sat down or it would drip down my leg and I would leave a trail and then it’d just defeat the purpose of dry clothes and…”

“Stiles! I get it! Just…stop talking about it!” Derek shouted at him as Scott and Isaac made their ways back into the room.

“I’ll definitely wash them. Twice. Ok, I’m done.” Stiles finished and held his hands up again before clapping them once and gathering up his wet clothes and laying them out beside his backpack. 

Scott and Isaac did the same and soon the doorway was filled with soggy clothes. Stiles looked down at his pants and realized the outline of his cutter was visible and he quickly stepped over to them, pretending to straighten out the cloth while he grabbed the cold metal and went over to his backpack. He unzipped it and rifled through the wet paper, dropping the cutter in discreetly.

“Ah man! All my papers are wet! Even the inside of my binder is soaked! Damn it! All those notes for nothing! Oh well! I doubt they’ll even be having school with this weather! Hey! Maybe it’ll last through next week and we won’t have finals!”

All three werewolves gave him dark looks and he withered beneath their stares.

“Oh yeah. Wolves no likey storms.” He mumbled and gave a weak grin as he zipped his backpack shut and stumbled back around the clothes and to one of the desk chairs.

The three wolves had dumped themselves on the couch, even grouchy Derek sat near them even if he wasn’t huddled close to them. Stiles looked at them and sighed before pulling his cold feet up onto the chair and wrapped his thin arms around his knees. He looked away from them, not wanting to dwell on being left out once more and stared down at the concrete floor. He stared at the little divots in the floor and after a while of tracing patterns with his eyes it turned into a grey mesh and the sounds from both the storm and the other three faded away. He simply sat there, cold and tired.

“…iles…Stiles! Stiles! Dude! You alright?” Scott’s voice pulled him out of his daze and he felt like the world was shaking.

“Huh?” Stiles quickly looked up into Scott’s worried face. “What’s up? Why are you shaking me?”

“We were calling you over and over. You didn’t respond at all but your eyes have been open this whole time. Are you having that sleep thing again like what happened after the Nemeton?” Scott asked his hand had stopped shaking him but rest upon his shoulder, his grip tight.

“No way. It’s nothing like that. I was just really lost in thought and now thanks to you I lost my train of thought.” Stiles smiled as if he were just fine, shrugging off Scott’s hand. “Oh! I need to call my dad! Are the landlines up?” he asked suddenly and flicked his head around until his eyes settled on Derek who stood beside Isaac a couple feet away.

“There’s a service telephone in the parking garage. You can go see if that’s working.”

Stiles nodded and quickly stood up, his bare feet hitting the cold concrete with a wince. He hopped over to his backpack and grabbed a few quarters from the side pocket and quickly dug through his papers until his hand settled around cold metal before rushing to the door and pushing it open, completely forgetting his shoes. He didn’t wait to see if anyone was following him before running down the stairs all the way down to the main level.

The breath in his lungs felt like it was burning him and his body shook as if he were about to have a panic attack. Quickly he ducked around the side of the stairs and crouched against the wall. He tugged the sleeve of Derek’s shirt back and ripped one edge of the soggy bandage off. Without taking time to admire the blade like he usually did in his bathroom he dragged the sharp edge down his skin next to the last track mark and waited as the pain settled in and calmed his panic. It felt like he could breathe again, like all the air had been let back into the room and slowly he retracted the blade and held his arm over a puddle in the ground so it would disguise his blood. As soon as he felt calmer he got back up and walked out to the edge of the parking garage where the storm was still raging.

“Well, can’t be too picky.” He mumbled and stuck his arm out a little until the rain washed away the new blood enough that he could cover it with the bandage once more.

Once he’d tugged the sleeve back in place he walked back through the parking garage until he found the service telephone tucked into an alcove in the back of the garage. He stuck the coins into the slot and quickly dialed his dad. When the line started ringing he thanked all that was good that it was working. The line was full of static when his dad picked up.

_“Hello?”_

“Hey dad! Just needed to tell ya that I’m not at school ‘cause I had to drive Isaac and Scott over to Derek’s. Turns out werewolves reaaally don’t like storms. I’m probably going to be here for a while. Like, a long while. But there’s no school tomorrow or the next day so you don’t have to worry!”

_“Are you sure you won’t be able to make it home? How’d you even get to Derek’s? And are Scott and Isaac going to stay there with you?”_

“Yeah dad they’re probably staying here too. I had to drive carefully to get here and I highly doubt I’d be able to make it through the storm in the dark. I’ll just stay here for now. Don’t worry about me. You shouldn’t go in to work tonight either. It’s really dangerous.”

_“I know. I got a call from the station earlier saying to stay indoors and away from the windows. This is one hell of a storm. Make sure you stay safe son.”_

“I will. Don’t worry about me.” Stiles said again as the line filled with more and more static. “I gotta go dad! The lines are going down! I love you!”

_“…lo…you…t…son.”_

The line cut out and the dial tone resounded within his ears. At least now his dad knew he was safe and he knew his dad was safe as well so that was a little weight lifted off his shoulders. His feet were starting to ache with cold as he trudged up the steps one at a time, taking his time to reach Derek’s floor level. Once he made it he was shivering with cold and he clutched at the slightly warm metal in his sleeve pocket. The door opened as soon as he knocked once. Scott’s face was right in his when the heavy metal door was pulled back.

“You took so long I was about to come after you.”

“Hah, how’d you know I hadn’t just taken off?” Stiles asked as he trudged over to his backpack and shoved the cutter back in before making a show of dropping the extra quarter he had into the pack and zipping it up.

“You left all your stuff here and its storming way too hard for you to make it very far. And it’s getting dark too.” Scott’s voice got low at the end as if he was contemplating something.

“Yeah, that’s true.” Stiles mumbled and stuffed his hands under his armpits as he continued to shiver.

No one seemed to notice how ridiculously cold Stiles was until he sneezed loudly and messily, sniffing up snot so it didn’t run out of his nose.

“Dude, that was seriously gross.” Isaac commented and handed him a tissue from the desk.

“Sorry.” Stiles mumbled and took the tissue to blow his nose. He turned before he started clearing his sinuses so he didn’t gross them out even further.

“You’re shaking.” Derek said finally once he’d turned back around. Scott and Isaac looked him over as if they hadn’t seen him yet.

“It’s kind of cold outside and I forgot my shoes in here when I went to make the phone call. Oops.” He sniffed quietly and trudged around them to throw the tissue away in the small wastebasket beside the bed.

A blanket was suddenly thrown over his head and he stumbled slightly at the weight. Pulling it around his shoulders he turned to see who’d thrown it and saw both Isaac and Scott staring at Derek who just shrugged and wandered over to the couch and sat there like he’d done nothing out of the ordinary at all.

“Uh, thanks.” Stiles mumbled and sat down in the chair again but this time warmer, the blanket snuggled around him.

The other two went back to their positions next to Derek on the couch and this time Stiles just watched as the made small talk amongst themselves. It seemed like a nice conversation at first that turned serious as they huddled in closer, their eyebrows drawing together as they spoke in low voices. Stiles felt the ache of not belonging but brushed it off in favor of just watching them. He didn’t even notice when he began to nod off until finally darkness closed over him completely.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Everything was dark. The chaos was silent but deafening. It was everywhere and surrounded him in its icy grip. There was no way he could fight it and simply slipped into its embrace. No air could reach him and he felt the deep pain of aching lungs pierce through his cold chest. A flare of heat enwrapped his wrist, tugging on him insistently even though he made no effort to chase after such precious heat. The warmth turned into a searing brand that tugged and pulled at him with a panicked urgency until finally he was pulled through the dark surface of his nightmare.

Stile woke gasping for breath, his heart beating wildly in his chest as his ears rang with white noise until he could focus on what was in front of him. Derek’s face surfaced, his mouth moving to the words starting to echo in his ears.

“…e on. Stiles come on! Stay with me! Breathe slowly. In, out. In, out.” Derek’s voice started a mantra, retraining him on how to breathe as he gripped his wrist hard to anchor him.

“D-Derek. Wh…what?” was all he managed to get out before he felt like he couldn’t breathe again.

“Slowly. Just take it easy. Come on, up we go.”

Derek hauled him off the floor and half carried him to the bed where Stiles collapsed once more. Derek didn’t touch him more than necessary, giving him room to breathe and fully wake up. After a few minutes Stiles was able to focus on more than the dark floor in front of him. The loft was dark and mostly silent. The only noise coming from the crazed wind and rain on the window. Finally Stiles turned to face Derek’s carefully collected figure sitting a safe distance away from him.

“What happened? Did I fall asleep?”

“You were definitely unconscious. You stopped breathing.”

Stiles frowned. No wonder the pain in his dream seemed so real. “For how long?”

“Not sure. Took me a bit to realize the added silence and that’s when I noticed you weren’t making any sound. Does this happen often?”

“I don’t know.” Stiles said with only half the truth since he usually didn’t sleep in the first place.

Derek stared at him for a long time, his eyes flicking back and forth between Stiles’ and Stiles stared right back, too drained to care about Derek being weird…again. Whatever Derek had been looking for seemed to satisfy him enough to give a nod and huff a bit before standing up again.

“You’re cold, you can take my bed.” He said curtly and gestured to the half unmade bed with a small sweep of his hand.

“No thanks. I’m fine in the chair. I probably won’t be able to sleep after that nightmare. Besides, I have a blankie.” Stiles said in almost a whisper. He just didn’t care enough to talk properly at the moment.

Derek’s bushy eyebrows drew together in a frown. “Well, just in case you happen to fall asleep I don’t want you to fall off the chair _again_.” He put emphasis on the last word.

“Won’t happen again.” Stiles mumbled back stubbornly and made a move to get up.

An arm gripped around his waist and hauled him right up off his ass and practically threw him at the pillows at the head of the bed. Stiles gasped as he hit the soft mattress and bounced for a few seconds. The bed dipped beside him as Derek climbed under the covers and pulled them up around the both of them.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Stiles yelled before Derek shushed him and pointed to the other two sleeping curled up under blankets on the sofa.

“You’re being stubborn. Just shut up and go to sleep. You won’t be cold and you won’t fall off this way.” Derek grumbled and turned his back to Stiles.

For a couple seconds he contemplated climbing back out of the bed but thought better of it realizing he’d only be able to sit up before Derek had him smooshed against the pillows again. Stiles’ face lit in a blush as lurid thoughts flooded his brain briefly at the thought before shuddering and pulling the blankets tighter to him and curling up.

“You’re an ass.” He mumbled quietly, knowing Derek could easily hear him.

“You’re stubborn.” Came the gruff reply.

Stiles felt warmer already with the heat of the werewolf against his back. Goosebumps rose on his skin as he shivered again. The storm let out a particularly loud growl of thunder and he felt the bed jerk. For a moment he thought that maybe Derek was just adjusting but then lightning cracked again and again the bed jolted and he couldn’t keep the slight smile from his face. Slowly he pushed back and felt his spine touch Derek’s warm back and sighed a little.

“Thanks.” He whispered, barely giving any voice at all.

There was no reply and he was glad about that. He didn’t need a touching moment with a broody werewolf in said werewolf’s bed. He simply shut his eyes and waited for morning.

 

The only indication that morning had come was the shifting of waking werewolves. Isaac stirred first which jostled Scott who whined until he finally sat up, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. Stiles watched from his cocoon of blankets at the two of them as the said their good mornings and Isaac shuffled to the bathroom, shivering once his feet hit the cold floor. Derek stirred behind him and he scooted away so he wouldn’t have the unpleasant surprise of Stiles smooshed against his back. Scott saw the movement from the couch and at first the sleepy expression didn’t change much but then slowly transformed to confusion then horror as he saw Stiles’ face amongst the blankets in _Derek’s_ bed.

“Uh, what are you doing in Derek’s bed Stiles?” Scott asked, breaking the storm riddled silence.

“He fell out of his chair last night and was absolutely frozen.” Derek’s grumpy voice broke in before Stiles’ could.

Scott’s face turned back to confusion. “Wait, he was sleeping in the chair? Why didn’t you come over here?”

Stiles simply shook his head and sat up, bringing the blanket with him. The bed jostled beneath him and he didn’t have to turn around to know that Derek had sat up as well.

“Good thing it’s Saturday. I don’t think I’d make it to school today, let alone step outside.” Isaac yawned as he exited the bathroom, blanket wrapped tightly around him once more. “What’s for breakfast?”

That got things going and soon all three werewolves were in the kitchen up the stairs while Stiles simply sat in bed and listened to Derek telling them not to make a mess of his kitchen. The other two grumbled but soon he could hear cereal being poured and the sound of pans being banged around. He sighed and got up, leaving the warmth of the blankets and shivered at the cold concrete beneath his previously warm toes. The clothes at the door were probably dry by now and upon closer inspection the material was stiff and a little dusty from the floor but definitely dry. Their shoes needed more time to dry but that was to be expected.

Stiles quickly changed into his own clothes and bundled Derek’s clothes and stuffed them into his backpack to wash later. As he contemplated leaving Derek’s voice rang down the stairs.

“Stiles! You going to eat?”

“Nah, I’m good. No appetite in the mornings.” He called back up.

“Whatever dude! You’re hungry all the time!” Scott called down next.

Stiles shook his head and zipped up his backpack. He wouldn’t leave just yet. There was something he needed to talk to Derek about first. With his feet now covered by socks he made his way over the expanse of concrete to the metal stairs and into the dining room area beside the kitchen. The three of them had already broken out a variety of food. There was bacon being pulled out of the fridge and eggs already on the counter, the Styrofoam top already opened to reveal the pearly white eggs.

“You guys do know the powers out right? And probably the gas too. How are you going to cook those? Isaacs the smart one with the cereal.”

They all looked at him for a bit, stilling all their movements before it seemed to dawn on them that he was right. Slowly they began putting the food back in the fridge.

“Fridge isn’t working either.” He said quietly and they all groaned.

Isaac slowly brought the milk he’d just opened to his nose and sniffed. Then sniffed again.

“Milk smells fine.”

“Yeah, for now while it’s still cold from the residual cooling after the power went out. And now that you opened the fridge that isn’t gonna work anymore.”

Scott and Isaac groaned loudly while Derek sighed and rubbed a hand over his forehead like this grieved him greatly.

“Just stick everything perishable in the freezer, it’s still cold enough, and everything else that won’t spoil in what little warmth there is in the house can stay in the fridge.” He offered the solution quickly so they wouldn’t think he was just there to deliver bad news and destroy their morning.

Things were slower and less enthusiastic than minutes before and Stiles felt a pang within him as they gave him sad puppy eyes, except for Derek who had his usual broody scowl in place once more, and he immediately shrank back, pulling his arms around him as he starting stepping towards the stairs again.

“Ah, sorry to ruin your breakfast. Um, if you had matches then you could light a fire in a small grill on the stove if you have one…” he offered and swiftly exited back downstairs.

There was no movement upstairs for a bit as he sat back in his chair from last night and felt the cold seep back into his skin, all warmth from last night gone once more. He should have just left earlier. Voices echoed down to him as the three wolves contemplated breakfast before there was a lot of shuffling and banging of kitchen ware. Drawers rolled open and there was clacking of cutlery until Scott let out a triumphant shout and the drawers were rolled shut once more. Soon the sounds of bacon sizzling in a pan over a fire filled Stiles’ ears and Scott and Isaac’s banter over crispy for Scott or floppy for Isaac’s bacon began. Derek eventually growled at them to shut up and that there would be an even amount of both for both of them.

Stiles sat there and watched the storm out the top of the large, half covered window and waited for a break in the storm to run down to his Jeep. He just couldn’t be cooped up with them when he wanted to be alone. He hated seeing everyone so happy when he couldn’t feel that way. It wasn’t until almost the end of breakfast when the wind stopped whistling and the clouds were letting out sporadic bursts of rain. Finally he clambered off his chair and grabbed his wallet from his bag beside the door.

“I’ll be right back guys!” he yelled then quickly slipped out the door and shut it behind him before he got an answer.

His shoes were still a little soggy and froze his already cold toes as he trudged down the stairs. The asphalt was dark with water all the way to the stairs inside the parking garage having flooded from the still ongoing rain. Stiles slogged over to the driver’s side of his Jeep and unlocked it, climbing into the dry cab and slamming the door shut once again. He sat there, cold and aching as he listened to the muted sounds of the rain before starting up the Jeep and backing out of his spot and driving into the pouring rain.

The wind wasn’t too bad, having died down for a bit, but the rain was still making it hard to see and the roads slippery. Luckily his destination wasn’t too far away and pulled into a parking spot in front of the grocery store. He had about thirty dollars on him for emergencies and he was pretty sure being stuck inside Derek’s house with a limited supply of food and hungry werewolves counted as an emergency. Walking into the store he noticed the lights were on and the fridges holding the food and frozen things were still working.

“Back-up generators.” He mumbled and sighed, wishing Derek’s place had that too so he didn’t need to be here.

Bright red banners yelled at him from every corner shouting **_Emergecy Sale! 50% off EVERYTHING in the store!_**

“Spelled ‘emergency’ wrong.” Stiles muttered as he grabbed a cart and went straight for the camping isle.

Charcoal and matches first, pack of water next, and finally a bunch of meat to keep the ravenous wolves. After picking up three rib-eye and three t-bone steaks he walked to the check-out counter. The wind had begun to pick up outside and the clerk didn’t seem to see the urgency in Stiles’ bouncing. By the time his check-out was done and he’d paid all but two pennies of his thirty dollars the wind was whistling once more and the rain was pounding on the windows. When Stiles stepped outside he was immediately frozen in the icy combination.

The groceries were mostly safe in the plastic bags but still a little water got in and soaked a bit of the charcoal bag by the time he’d climbed into his Jeep. The drive back was absolutely terrifying. It’d gotten so cold out that the rain had started turning to sleet, pinging off his car in loud ricochets. When he finally made it back to the parking garage he’d almost been in two accidents and had hydroplaned numerous times. The safety of the parking garage had him breathing a sigh of relief and he sat there with his Jeep turned off and just thought about things. He trailed his fingers over his wrist and sighed at the ache. The bandages were still soaked and wished he’d picked up some bandages while still at the store. Though he hadn’t had enough money so he guessed it wouldn’t have mattered.

He needed to talk to Derek about the body they’d found before the storm had hit and he needed to get a hold of his dad to see if he was doing ok. They had a heck of a lot more food in the house than Derek did so he should be able to make it through the storm comfortably even though the food in the fridge would most likely spoil. Scott’s mom would probably be holed up in the hospital attending to anybody that’d been caught in the storm. It was probably a refuge for others unable to make it home as well.

Stiles contemplated just staying in the Jeep for the remainder of the storm but the meat would go bad so he slowly gathered the bags and pushed open the door. Once he locked it he pulled one leg in front of the other just enough to make it up the stairs and knocked quietly on the door. The heavy metal was immediately jerked aside and all three werewolves faces were in his in a second.

“What the hell Stiles!” Scott.

“Where’d you go?!” Isaac.

“That was a stupid move Stilinski.” Derek.

Stiles just held up the wet bags without saying anything back. Their faces all went from staring at Stiles to looking at the bags. Isaac reached out for the first one and Scott and Derek took the other two. Slowly they fell back and started inspecting the contents of each bag.

“Did…did you go out in the storm because of this?” Derek asked, holding up the bag of meat.

Stiles nodded and the other two both looked to Derek, wondering where he was going with this.

“That was incredibly reckless! The storm could have killed you! And over what? A little bit of meat?!” Derek yelled and held up the bag like it was offending him.

Stiles cringed at the severity of his voice and sat down next to the door, putting his cold hands under his armpits as he shivered in his sodden clothes. Scott and Isaac stayed silent, choosing to rifle through the bags instead. Getting no response to his questions, Derek thrust the bag back at Stiles.

“Well, might as well put it in the freezer.”

Stiles grabbed the bag and stood up once more without a word. He quickly made his way upstairs and pushed the bag of meat into the freezer, quickly taking note of the two chicken breasts, milk, eggs, butter, package of bacon, two sirloins, and two ice trays. When he checked the cupboard he found a bag of potatoes, two boxes of half empty cereal, a loaf of bread, and a couple cans of beans. Now he felt like crap since he really did do all of that for nothing. Absolutely nothing. The pain hit him harder than he thought it would. For a bit he’d actually been hoping that he’d been helpful, even a little bit, but he’d just caused them undue worry. Finally he went back down the stairs and saw the others going through the stuff they’d pulled out of the bags. This time he simply opened the door and walked out without telling them he’d be back. They didn’t even ask.

Stiles was beginning to hate those stairs, walking up and down them but it gave him time to think, or well, not to think. All he _could_ think about was the weight in his back pocket and the comfort it could bring. The comfort from this empty ache he feels. As he scoots into the passenger side of his Jeep next to the pack of bottled water he pulls out his cutter and a rag he keeps in his Jeep. Jerking back the sleeve of his damp flannel then the bandage he pressed the sharp point straight into his skin and sucking in a breath at the jolt of pain. After a second of holding it there he pulled it down his wrist before removing it from his skin. The deep red seeped into the white towel and stained it permanently.

“Why am I so useless?” he whispers as he holds the knife up to the light so it shines back at him.

Again he presses the cutter into his skin and breaks through, dragging it down. Again, three times. The pain drowns out the disappointment and pain that’s built up inside of him from one day with the others. How had he put up with them the entire time? His face scrunched in pain as his mind spun round and round. The others just didn’t notice him. Didn’t notice that he wasn’t talking and wasn’t eating as he usually did. What was he to them?!

Nothing. Just like what he felt after he realized once again how little he meant to them.

He lets himself bleed some more until the fiery pain dies down and the ache is left as a small comfort and reminder that he’s alive even when he doesn’t want to be. He took his time bandaging his wrist again and putting the drying rag back into his glove compartment wrapped up in itself so it didn’t stain anything else and masked most of the scent of his blood. He had to take precautions around werewolves.

When he finally felt he could face everyone once more he grabbed the pack of water and plodded back up the stairs. He felt winded when he reached the top. Even though he was freezing he could feel sweat gathering at the small of his back and at his hairline. Hopefully that would mask the smell of any leftover blood. The door swung open when he reached it and the water was taken from his hands immediately. His long fingers ached from the weight and he flexed them to get rid of the numbness. Before Derek could say anything that would ruin his pain buzz he lifted a finger at him.

“Look, sorry I took off without saying anything and sorry I went out into the storm. Also sorry I got extra supplies when we obviously didn’t need them. Now that my blunder is acknowledged and I am humiliated and have apologized, can we please get on with the murder that happened yesterday? I heard from Scott that there’d been a murder that raised suspicions.” He said quickly and efficiently.

Derek shut his mouth before opening it again after Stiles was done, looking taken aback.

“Ok.” Derek quickly agreed and went right into the murder investigation. “Well, the victim was male in his late twenties. There was nothing really special about the body except for this strange odor I got when I passed by the crime scene. It wasn’t human and I’d never smelt it before. That’s why I suspect there’s another creature in Beacon Hills.”

Stiles nodded and crossed the room to sit on the chair next to the desk since his feet were so cold they burned. He took off his shoes and crossed them under him and his hands were once more under his arms he looked back at the three of them.

“What exactly did this smell, smell like?” he asked slowly. “Like, could you relate it to anything you _have_ smelt before? Say a type of plant or maybe plastic or anything at all similar?” Stiles says as examples.

Derek was already slowly shaking his head. “I’m telling you. It was a pretty unique odor. I’m sure if I come across it again I’d know, but with this weather I can’t do a thing.” He said, gesturing at the window.

“Yeah, this storm is pretty weird.” Isaac mumbled and rubbed the back of his neck in discomfort.

“You think it might have something to do with the deaths?” Scott asked both Stiles and Derek quickly, his head whipping back and forth between the two several times.

Stiles shrugged his shoulders. “I have no idea. I have no internet to check any of this stuff out and the only written bestiary is still with Allison…or does Lydia have it?” Stiles’ brow furrowed in thought as he leaned back in the chair.

“I don’t think it has anything to do with the body. There might be something supernatural about the storm itself though. Like it’s a whole different thing itself.”

“Very eloquently put, but yeah I think you might be right. There is absolutely nothing ‘natural’ about this storm. Sure it’s autumn but we live in California. We _never_ get weather like this. Except for that one time when I was small.” Stiles amends quickly.

“I remember a storm like this as well. I was about twelve I think.” Derek says quietly.

They were silent for a bit, listening to the sounds of the storm and remembering the last time they’d heard it so long ago and tried to recall the similarities between the two.

“You think they’re connected?” Scott broke the silence.

“Maybe. It could be a possibility with the place we live in. We just need to figure out what’s causing it and how.” Derek mumbled.

“We also need to figure out how long it’s going to last because if we don’t get a break soon then there’s no way for us to find out.” Stiles said just as quietly.

Isaac sighed and ran his fingers through his curly hair, looking distressed. Lightning flashed and thunder rolled outside, causing Scott and Isaac to jump and Derek’s jaw to clench. Stiles just sat there and watched them as he thought these things through.

“Do your cell phones work?” he asked them.

All three pulled their cells out of their pockets and checked the signals. All three shook their heads.

“Damn. We need to call Allison and Lydia and tell them about the storm and the body. But we have no power so we can’t charge the phones if they die. Two of you should turn off your phones while the other keeps theirs on in case there’s a break in the storm and we get some signal. Whose has the most battery?”

They all looked at each other’s phones before Derek held his up a little. Stiles wasn’t surprised since Derek didn’t look like he used his much.

“Ok, the other two should shut off theirs.”

Once only Derek’s phone remained on Stiles nodded and sniffed a little as his red nose started to run with cold.

“Well, that’s all we can do for now. I guess we just wait the storm out.”

Two sighed in disappointment while Derek simply nodded and put the phone on the table. It was about midmorning leaning towards afternoon by now and Stiles felt a bit faint. It was probably from the blood loss from earlier and the lack of food for two and a half days he reasoned and stood up once more. Derek gave him a calculating look when he headed up towards the kitchen but he paid him no mind.

There was no leftover food from breakfast but he wasn’t expecting any. He pulled the bread out of the cupboard and pulled out two slices before replacing the loaf. The freezer was absolutely frigid and when he pulled out the butter he saw ice crystals forming on the top. At least he knew it’d last a while like this. He quickly spread a bit on each piece and put the butter back before biting into the bread. It was cold but it took the edge off his hunger for a bit. Once his stomach had been satisfied he went back down and pulled a water out of the pack and took a long sip. He felt a little less shaky now. When he looked up from his water Derek was still looking at him with that weird expression.

“What?” he asked in a quiet voice.

“You should change back into the sweats I loaned you. They’re warmer and dryer.” Derek said before clambering onto his bed and pulling out a book.

Stiles realized that the others were still in the sweats Derek had loaned them and Derek himself looked comfortable in a long sleeve shirt and stretchy jeans. Stiles looked kind of like a bum in his wrinkled, slightly dirty, damp clothes. He nodded and grabbed the clothes from his backpack without an argument. This time the bathroom was open and he pulled off his clothes, mindful of his wrist, and tugged on the warm, dry sweats. His body felt so small in the big clothes meant for the larger man. He’d lost weight since he no longer wished to eat anything. When he looked in the mirror he saw dark circles under his tired, brown eyes. His hair had gotten longer since he’d cut it a couple months ago and now hung limp on his forehead and over his ears.

He looked pathetic.

Stiles jerked away from the mirror and gathered up his strewn clothes and walked back out into the front room. He tossed his clothes towards his backpack and resumed his place on the chair at the desk. Scott and Isaac were playing some game and Derek was reading. It was dark but he guessed having werewolf sight had its perks. He laid his head down on the desk and simply got lost in his numbness like he was so used to doing. Eventually he fell into a stupor and saw nothing even though his eyes were open.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not really a summary but I still have no idea how to work the notes so...whatever.  
> Thank you so much you guys for all of the support you've been giving me. I update whenever I can because it's complete and the entire work is posted on fanfiction. My username is the same and so is the title work. I have more works there and am trying to put everything here as well. Thanks for your patience!

Nobody bothered Stiles for hours. He didn’t fall asleep but he wasn’t fully awake either. The cuts on his wrist itched beneath the bandage and every once in a while he’d brush his cold fingers over it, feeling the coarse gauze. Sometime during his haze someone had draped a blanket over his shoulders and he gradually felt his body relax, the shivers he didn’t know was wracking his body slowly died away. He suspected Derek had done it since neither Scott nor Isaac would go near his bed.

When he finally decided to move again there was a painful crick in his neck and his back had started to ache. The other three weren’t anywhere to be found and he figured they must be in the kitchen since there was no way they could go outside. Derek’s phone lay next to his arm and he flipped it open to check the service. Still none. Slowly he got up on aching legs and wrapped the blanket around his shoulders. The cold floor made him shiver but he ignored it as he went up the stairs to see what the wolves had gotten themselves up to. All three were huddled around the grill making small talk as two of the steaks grilled and one of the chickens was waiting to be put on. They quieted when Stiles entered.

“Ah, hey Stiles! How was your nap?” Scott asked, breaking the suddenly uncomfortable silence.

“I wasn’t asleep.” Stiles muttered. “I can leave again if you wanted to keep talking. Sorry to intrude.” He mumbled and went to take a step backwards but ended up snagging his foot in the blanket and was on his way towards the floor.

Before the other two could react Derek had darted forward and gathered Stiles’ shirt in his fist, jerking him upright but the counterbalance had been too much and Stiles ended up falling right into Derek’s muscled chest with an _oomph!_

“Sorry. Sorry. I didn’t mean to.” Stiles murmured over and over as he pushed at Derek’s chest, trying to right himself.

“It’s ok, calm down.” Derek growled, shutting Stiles up.

For a moment or two it was uncomfortably quiet and still as Derek continued to hold Stiles to his chest, his arm around his waist where it had curled unconsciously to keep him on two legs. Stiles froze against Derek’s chest, his hands curled in his shirt and time seemed to stop for just that moment until Scott cleared his throat and Isaac picked up the tongs to flip the sizzling meat over. Things suddenly started moving again and Derek slowly removed his arm as he steadied Stiles. His hands were so warm on Stiles’ arms through the shirt they seemed to burn and brand him. The blanket had slipped down to the crook of his elbows and Derek slowly slid it back up around his shoulders.

“You can stay. We were just talking about the storm. You surprised us.” He seemed calm almost nice as he handled Stiles.

Stiles sat at the table slowly as if in a daze again but it was different. His eyes tracked Derek in confusion as he moved to the stove and took over the meat once more. Scott and Isaac continued to stare back and forth between the two them then at each other before they shrugged and started dicing up the chicken and putting in the space the steak soon vacated on the pan over the grill. Stiles could see they were using the charcoal and matches he’d gotten yesterday. Well, waste not want not.

“Do you want anything?” Derek asked suddenly and Stiles jumped a little in his seat, not expecting the loud rumble of his voice.

“Uh, no, thanks. I’m not hungry.”

“At least eat something. All you had was bread in butter and I can hear the emptiness in your stomach from here.”

Stiles curled his arms around his stomach almost protectively and frowned.

“I just don’t feel hungry. No appetite. Must be the weather.” He tried to reason but Derek shook his head.

“You barely had anything in you yesterday or the day before that.”

“How would you know that?”

He pointed to his ears but kept his eyes on the meat. Stiles sighed and figured he wouldn’t be able to get away with not eating like he could with his dad.

“Fine. I’ll just make another butter sandwich.”

Scott and Derek scowled at him while Isaac took down plates from the cupboard by the sink. Stiles shrugged and looked away as if that’d get him out of the argument. There was another window above the sink and by the table but they were both hastily blocked off with blankets. There were no decorations and even the table and chairs looked temporary and cheap. All of Derek’s eating utensils were plastic and he only had paper plates and plastic cups. He had real knives and a few metal kitchen wares like the tongs, a spatula, and a few pots and pans. There were two ceramic bowls and the rest were paper with wax covering. He looked ready to move at any time.

He must have gotten lost in thought because the slap of a plate in front of him brought him back down to earth. In front of him sat a butter sandwich but beside that was about five pieces of the chicken they’d just cooked. He looked up at the wolves and Derek was concentrating awfully hard on cutting up his steak while Scott and Isaac were looking back and forth between the two again. Stiles didn’t argue and picked up the sandwich and took a bite. There was less butter than he’d have liked but he didn’t really care. He took another bite, and then another until it had disappeared from his fingers. The chicken was good as well. Plain but good. Soon that was gone as well and he was left staring at the crumbs on the white plate.

Stiles stood and tossed the plate in the trash bin beside the counter and nodded at the werewolves. “Thanks for the food. It was good.” He mumbled and they all grunted one after the order starting with Derek.

After that he plodded back downstairs and pulled his chair over to the window and peeled back the edge of the blanket beside the cold window. There was absolutely nothing to do to distract himself so he just stared out the window as the clouds continued pouring rain and for a bit he could drown himself in the noise of it instead of the silence he seemed to surround himself in. The storm had given him the company he’d wanted but there was still that emptiness. He just couldn’t seem to get rid of it and he felt like he was suffocating under it. The only thing that filled it seemed to be the pain that sparked every time he ran his fingers over the new cuts.

The bandage was becoming a problem for his cuts. There were too many cuts for such a small strip of gauze and he wondered if he’d have to overlap some of the older scars with new ones. He pushed the thought away. He’d get there when he’d get there. No use dwelling on something not in the present. It just didn’t seem important enough at the moment. Nothing did.

The storm distracted him for the rest of the afternoon and into the evening when the sun started setting behind the clouds, draining the light from the sky once more and leaving only cold blackness behind. The inability to see anything beyond the rain spattered window began to urk Stiles and finally he moved away from the cold window and back into the semi-warmth of the loft, making sure to replace the blanket from where he’d pulled it back. The others were also distracted doing their own thing.

Once again Derek was reading, using a small book light while Isaac was busy folding computer paper into random shapes. Scott had fallen asleep and was most likely out for the night. Stiles stared at Scott’s sleeping form and wished he’d be able to sleep as effortlessly and deeply as he seemed to. Stiles watched Isaac fold paper for a while longer until Isaac got bored and decided to sleep along with Scott. After the two had been asleep for about twenty minutes Stiles sighed and wrapped the blanket even tighter around him and leaned back in the chair, getting ready for the long wait until dawn.

“If you’re going to sleep come over here.” Derek’s voice cut through the dark and startled him.

“Ah, no. I’m not sleeping.” Stiles assured him and sat back once more, relaxing as much as he could with a numb butt.

“I don’t want you falling off the chair again. Just get over here.” Derek commanded. Stiles was about to argue once again but Derek cut him off. “Do _not_ make me get up and get you.”

With that note of finality Stiles got up and scooted his feet over to the bed before gingerly climbing atop the dark covers. He sat right atop of them and sat there instead of lying down. Derek didn’t say anything more since he was on the bed and went on reading. Stiles slouched until he was able to relax a little and sat that way for the next few hours, listening to the sound of the storm and Derek’s page turning. After Derek had finished more than half the book he set it down and turned off the light. He stretched and crawled under the covers.

“You going to sit like that all night? Hurry up and get under the covers so I can sleep.”

Again Stiles didn’t argue and crawled beneath the covers, his frozen feet finally getting some proper warmth. Tonight Stiles kept his distance from the werewolf. He didn’t want to annoy him anymore than he had previously. In the comfortable embrace of downy pillows and fluffy, warm blankets Stiles unfortunately found himself slipping into sleep. The nightmare this time was different and honestly Stiles wished it was the usual nightmare over this horror.

It started off nice. There were people around him in a room he couldn’t place where he’d seen before. The people were faceless, identity-less people. Stiles watched as the just milled about. There was no order in the room. Some people were sitting, others were standing or walking about but none of them were talking. Suddenly a little girl came up and grabbed his hand. When he looked down at her he saw water dripping down her face as if her entire face was crying.

A huge gash appeared where her mouth should be, just tearing open with an awful, sick sound of ripping skin.

_“Why are you doing this?”_

He stared at the girl in horror as the water turned to blood.

 _“Why are you doing this?!”_ she demanded louder.

“I-I don’t understand.” He whispered back in horror.

The entire room stopped and turned their faceless bodies towards him. Their skin began to turn grey and the smell of rot filled the air. Suddenly the people weren’t so faceless. Lydia, Scott, Allison, Derek, Deaton, Chris, Danny, Ethan, Aiden, Heather, Malia, Peter, Melissa, his dad, his mom, Scott’s dad, Laura, Cora, Jackson, Gerard, Erica, Boyd, Oliver, Kira, Finstock… everyone he’d ever met, everyone he’d ever loved or hated was there. Their skin turning black as they walked or crawled towards him. They were dying. They were dead. All because of him. It was his fault.

The little girl’s grip on his became nearly unbearable, crushing the bones in his fingers and he screamed. He screamed until his throat was hoarse.

“STILES!”

Derek’s yell of his name cut through his consciousness and broke the dream until it shattered. Finally he wrenched his eyes open and bolted up in bed. He was shivering and his throat hurt. Tears were pouring down his face, wetting his cheeks and soaking the collar of the shirt. His hand still hurt and when he looked at it in horror, expecting the decaying girl’s hand to still be crushing his fingers, he saw instead Derek’s firm grip holding tight to his hand.

“Stiles.” Derek’s voice was calmer, quieter now that Stiles was awake. “You awake? You with me? Come on Stiles answer me.”

“I-I’m awake. I’m fine. Let go.” He said hoarsely, tugging on his hurting fingers.

Derek let go but leaned forward so his face was in Stiles, staring at him intently.

“What happened? What kind of nightmare was that to have you screaming?”

Stiles backed away and looked around the dark loft. He could see Scott and Isaac’s wide eyes even in the dark where they were staring concerned for him from the couch.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you guys. It was just a nightmare. I get them all the time. This just seemed…worse somehow. You should go back to sleep.” He said, trying for off-hand nonchalance but instead got something like desperate and panicky.

“Stiles, answer me.”

Derek’s voice was low, almost threatening, and Stiles shivered for a second before turning to meet his piercing glare.

“It was just a nightmare. There was a lot going on and I don’t really remember. Can we just go back to sleep please?” he was starting to get anxious.

Derek stared, and stared, and stared at Stiles until he was practically writhing in his spot with discomfort. Once he was satisfied with his staring, Derek scooted back under the blankets while Isaac and Scott lay back under theirs, quietly whispering amongst themselves.

“Are you going to lie back down?” Derek asked.

Stiles swallowed noisily, a little winded still but nodded all the same. When he scooted back down the comforter and blankets were tugged up around him and he could feel the heat of Derek on his back. He froze and his heart seemed to thunder in his chest.

“It’s ok. Nothing’s going to hurt you.” Derek murmured softly into his ear, so quiet the others couldn’t have heard.

“The dark hurts.” Stiles whispered his words honest for the first time in ages and it’d been on accident. He’d only spoken his mind.

Arms made him jump as they snaked around his torso and pulled him in tightly to Derek’s chest. Stiles’ heart hammered in his chest and he knew Derek knew as well. _He just wants to go back to sleep. That’s all. He’s not doing this for you._ Stiles calmed himself by pushing away any sort of meaning this action could have. If he started to hope now then the disappointment would be greater later. Finally sleep overcame the three wolves and Stiles was left awake but warm in the odd comfort of Derek’s arms. Stiles didn’t sleep after that but he didn’t fall into a trance-like haze either. The hours actually seemed to feel like hours, passing by a minute at a time. The steady breath on his neck kept him distracted and he passed the night focusing on each breath and each movement of the rise of fall of Derek’s chest on his back. In the morning the storm broke just a little and the early morning sun burst through the heavy clouds.

 

“You guys. I just realized that the full moon is this week.” Scott said at breakfast that morning.

Everyone looked at him as if he’d just said something really dumb.

“Uh yeah, we know. We kind of have to keep track of that, being werewolves and all.” Isaac said, the _duh_ at the end of his sentence silent but implied.

Stiles munched on his scrambled eggs as he stared out the window next to the table. They’d thrown back the blanket to look at the sun that peaked through a couple gaps in the clouds. It was already day three of the storm and the wolves were absolutely stir-crazy. Even Derek seemed restless as he busied himself with cooking and tidying up.

“We should go out today. Run around and get all the pent up energy out while we still can. The storm is finally calm enough to let us outside.” Scott said once he’d joined them and stared out the window with Stiles.

“Yeah. That’s a good idea.” Derek agreed and shoved an enormous bite of eggs and bacon into his mouth.

With plans set they finished breakfast quickly and went downstairs to tug on their sweaters and sneakers before running out the door. Stiles was second to last since Derek had to lock the door.

“Are we driving anywhere or just walking?” he asked.

“Walking. It’s better to get the energy out while the sun’s still shining.”

Stiles nodded and plodded down after the hurried group. He found them waiting in the sun outside the parking structure and once he caught up Scott and Isaac took off running and whooping in the slight sprinkle. There were massive puddles everywhere that they had to avoid since it was too cold to splash through them. Derek walked along side Stiles silently. Stiles knew it was simply because he couldn’t keep up with the three of them.

“Why don’t you go run with them? I’ll be fine. I’ll walk the road towards the store and if the storm returns I’ll turn back.” Stiles reassured him and Derek gave him a curt but eager nod as he ran after the other two with vigor.

The air was frigid, biting at Stiles through the layers of clothes. His breath clouded the air in front of him as he walked over the slightly slick sidewalk. He could no longer hear or see the others but he didn’t mind. It was finally quiet except for the slight sound of the still sprinkling rain around him. A warm patch of sun lit his back and he shivered at the warmth as he continued walking. It reminded him of the heat of Derek’s body last night against his back and this time he shivered from the memory. Again he had to remind himself that it wasn’t for him that Derek had done that, it was because he needed to sleep and Stiles was too obnoxious and kept waking him up with his stupid nightmares. Stiles sighed and focused on his walk.

The wind picked up after forty minutes of slow walking but the sun was still bravely poking through the clouds so Stiles didn’t turn back yet. This stretch of road was mostly empty, trees on both sides. Stiles slogged through the water on the ground and stared ahead, getting lost in thought, wondering where the others could have gone but tossed that thought aside, knowing they were safe. After a while he stopped thinking and just walked mindlessly forward. He had no idea how far he’d gone or how far he still had to go until he reached the store and turned back. Yet, he was so lost in his thoughts he didn’t notice that the rain had picked up as well. All he knew was that the sun was still shining so he was still going to move forward.

The wind whistled in his ears and he hunched down into his jacket to give himself some more warmth but it did little to help. His hands were stuffed in his pockets but they were still frozen. His toes inside his shoes were wet and cold and his legs even seemed absolutely chilled. There wasn’t a single place on Stiles that wasn’t cold. His body, his mind, his heart, all frozen. He reached the end of the straight away and the road curved but he stopped at the corner. He didn’t want to keep walking. He was tired and cold. When he looked up again he saw very little sun and realized the storm was almost back in full swing. He’d missed the entire pick up of the storm. Cold realization settled into him and he quickly turned back, facing directly into the storm and slowly began the difficult way back.

After only ten minutes his face was stinging with numbness and the barrage of rain needles. He hated the cold. It seemed to penetrate everywhere and he could never warm up all the way. A hidden patch of slick ice surprised him as he slid right on it. His arms flailed, trying to get out of his pockets and only managed to free the left one with which he caught himself on. The bandage was ripped off as he skid and he jolted as pain tore through him. When he looked down he saw bright red being rinsed away by the cold rain. His wrist seeped blood as all his new cuts tore open once again and even an old one had split a little. He had nothing to wrap it in now that the bandage had been washed away by the rushing rain.

“Just what I needed.” He mumbled to himself and slowly got to his feet.

He was soaked and miserable as he made his way back, slower and more carefully this time. His warm blood was trickling off his fingertips and he held it away from him to keep the blood off as much as possible. There was no telling how long he’d been walking. The straight road was coming to an end as he made his way back but there was still a ways to go. He hadn’t realized how far he’d really gotten. The sun was completely gone now and the ominous clouds hung over head and rained down upon him and the entire city mercilessly. Stile wanted to cry but he just couldn’t. He was too cold and too tired to waste any more effort.

“Stiles!”

The wind carried his name on it and for a second he thought he’d hallucinated.

“Stiles!”

There it was again, this time louder. He definitely wasn’t imagining it. Was he? He held up his right hand to shield his eyes from the rain and looked around franticly, searching for the source of the sound.

“Stiles! Over here!”

He turned to his right, looking into the trees across the road but saw nothing but rain and blurry trees. Then he turned to the left, looking into those trees but still it was too blurry to really see anything.

“Stiles! Over here! To your left!”

He looked all over to his left. Looking back the way he came then scanning forward until he saw a hazy figure making its way towards him. Slowly he began to move forward again, not realizing he’d stopped and walked towards the figure. He knew that voice.

“Stiles! Hurry!”

He tried to pick up the pace but his foot slid a little so he went back to the slow, careful slide he’d begun earlier. Inch by inch the figure moved closer until he was standing toe to toe with Derek. They were both soaked and miserable.

“I thought you said you were going to head back once it got bad! We went back but you weren’t there!” he shouted over the storm.

“Sorry! I went too far and when the storm hit again I wasn’t ready for it! It’s hard walking through this!” he shouted back.

Derek’s face was near his so they could hear each other so Stiles could see when his expression stiffened and his nose flared. Quickly Derek began looking him over, his expression severe.

“Did you hurt yourself?”

Stiles yanked away from him and tried to pull his arm behind his body but Derek caught the movement. Quickly, with strength and speed Stiles couldn’t match, Derek pulled his arm back in front of his body and held it up, taking in the sight of Stiles’ bloodied wrist. The shock on his face was evident. It quickly turned to rage and Stiles suddenly found himself being tugged off the sidewalk and into the forest where the leaves of the trees canopied over them to shield them from some of the storm. It was slightly quieter but still quiet loud. Derek pulled Stiles forward despite his half formed protests that died on his lips when he saw the absolute fury in Derek’s glare. Derek shoved him against a tree and held him there.

“What the hell is this?” he hissed out furiously as he held Stiles’ wrist up to his face.

“Um…” Stiles didn’t even have an excuse.

“Why would you do this?! What sort of sick, twisted game do you think you’re playing here?!” Derek yelled at him, shaking his arm harshly.

Stiles grit his teeth on the pain he felt, both in his wrist and in his chest. He said nothing.

“Why Stiles?! Answer me!” Derek yelled right in his face, so close the warmth of his breath washed over Stiles cheek.

Stiles stared at Derek sullenly; finally letting the pain he felt show on his face. Why hide it anymore when it had been so thoroughly exposed. Finally the tears he’d kept inside slipped past his eyes and down his cheeks, flowing uninterrupted. Derek stared at him, the look on his face transforming from absolute anger to confusion to surprise to concern.

“Stiles, whoa, take it easy. What’s wrong?”

The gentleness in his voice made Stiles heave a shuddering sob and he tossed his head back against the tree, feeling the rough bark against his scalp. His cries weren’t loud but it was enough. Derek let go and he fell, his knees giving way as he let his anguish out. Before he could fall to the ground Derek’s arms were there, his body was there, supporting him and carrying him since he had completely given up on holding himself up. His silent sobs seemed to break through whatever shock Derek had been in.

“What is this?” The question was softly spoken, more of a comfort than a real question. “What made this happen?”

Stiles shook his head slightly and he felt his body slowly hefted into strong arms and he just let himself be carried in Derek’s arms as if a child through the woods. Once they’d cleared the forestry the cold, raging storm hit them full force once more and Stiles leaned up from Derek’s shoulder.

“Don’t tell Scott or Isaac. Please.” He whispered and felt the arms around him tighten.

Derek wasn’t an emotional guy but feeling the pain and anguish and clouded emotions pouring out of Stiles made him feel like he was dying. He hadn’t felt this since his family died and he’d wondered why he’d survived but not them. It made him wonder what had driven Stiles to this point and how he’d kept it a secret for so long. Those tracks on his arms where already scarred or were scarring over. Yet there were new ones too that smelled only a day old. That meant that he’d managed to cut himself while at Derek’s place as well.

Derek growled as he realized he hadn’t been able to protect Stiles, his human pack mate. He’d had no clue that he’d been hurting. Sure he’d noticed the odd behavior, the not eating, the nightmares and the strange dazes he went into but he’d thought it was simply because of the storm.

“I yelled at him too.” He seethed aloud and felt horror wash through him.

Stiles didn’t hear what Derek had said but felt him pick up speed as his arms tightened around him some more. They were close to his loft now, the strength of the werewolf much greater than his own meager, human strength. When they were in the parking structure Stiles moved, pushing against Derek’s chest to make him let go. His tears had been forced to a stop and now the feeling of emptiness and exhaustion washed through him.

“Let me go.” He mumbled against Derek’s shoulder.

“No. I’m not letting you go.” He growled into Stiles’ ear.

“The others will wonder why you’re carrying me.”

“I’ll just tell them you’re tired.” He reasoned and stubbornly kept hold of Stiles as he clomped up the stairs.

Derek wrenched the door open with one hand while he held Stiles with the other. The other two whined at them as they stepped inside and Isaac shut the door behind them. Questions flew from the two before they’d made it four steps inside.

“What happened?”

“Where was he?”

“Is he ok? What’s wrong with him?”

“Why are you carrying him?”

They ignored the both of them and Derek carried Stiles into the bathroom and shut the door in the other two’s faces. Finally he set Stiles down on the closed toilet lid and knelt beside him, opening the cabinet beneath the sink.

“Isaac grab two pairs of sweats and two thick shirts.” He called as he pulled out the first aid kit from the back of the sink.

There were hurried footsteps and after a bit a knock on the door. Derek left the open kit on the counter and yanked the door open a crack before pulling the clothes inside and locking the door. Stiles felt just a tad bit grateful that Derek was keeping this a secret for him.

“I can do this myself.” He said, his voice cold and blank.

Derek flinched at his tone and shook his head sharply.

“No. I’m partly to blame for this.” He growled and tore off the backing to a large Band-Aid that could cover all of his track marks easily.

“No you’re not. I am. I did this to myself.” Stiles whispered and looked at the door where the others were undoubtedly gathered, their ears pressed to the door and holding their breath to hear what was going on.

Derek went to the tub and plugged the drain before wrenching the handle onto the hottest setting and the sound of running water blasted through the silence.

“Take your clothes off. You need to warm yourself up.”

Stiles just stared at him like he’d said something absolutely bonkers. “Um, I’m not taking my clothes off with you in here.”

“It’s not like I haven’t seen a naked male before. Now hurry up and get out of those wet clothes or you’ll catch a cold.”

“What about you? You’re still in wet clothes.” Stiles argued.

“I’m a werewolf, I won’t get sick. Now, either you take your clothes off yourself or I’ll take them off for you.” Derek threatened and Stiles’ eyes went wide.

“Fine, fine. I’ll take my damn clothes off.” He mumbled and began pulling his layers off.

His wrist hadn’t been bandaged yet so he carefully removed all three shirts and began tugging off the jeans and then the sweatpants he’d put on to try and keep himself warm. His feet were rid of the two pairs of socks and finally he stood there naked. He hadn’t put his boxers on since they were dirty and stiff and would’ve been completely uncomfortable to wear. Feeling indignant he covered his junk with his hands and stood there awkwardly while Derek adjusted the temperature of the water in the bath so it didn’t scald him when he got in. When he turned back to Stiles he barely batted an eye at his pale nakedness.

“You’ve gotten thinner.” Derek mumbled and got the antibiotic salve out of the kit and smeared it over the bandage. “Hold out your arm.”

Stiles did as he was told while keeping his other hand firmly over his junk and let Derek wrap the water-proof bandage snuggly around his wrist. Once it was all smoothed out Derek began putting the kit away.

“Why do you have a first aid kit when you heal ridiculously fast?”

“After the fights with the Alphas I realized it might be a smart idea to keep one around just in case the wounds didn’t heal as fast just like when I’d gotten hurt before.”

“Oh. Ok.” It made sense.

Derek looked at him quickly, giving him a questioning glance before shrugging and checking the temperature of the water. He flicked the water off his fingers and turned the water off. The silence weighed heavily in Stiles ears and he felt a bit of panic seep in once more. Derek felt it run through the air and put a gentle, warm hand on Stiles arm, pulling him towards the tub.

“It’s alright. Come on, get in.” he said calmly as if talking to a pup.

Stiles nodded and swallowed thickly as he carefully put one foot in and then the next. The water was so warm at first that Stiles felt like his frozen skin was burning off but once he sat down and his body adjusted to the temperature change he shivered at the comforting warmth. Derek handed him a washcloth which he took and covered his waist so his hands would be free.

“Thanks.” He said quietly after a few minutes of silence.

Derek gave him a long look before slowly nodding. Stiles didn’t know exactly how to feel. Derek was being so nice to him and he didn’t have any excuses to give himself to explain it. There wasn’t any benefit for Derek in helping him.

“Um, can I ask a question?” he asked tentatively.

He looked up from staring at the rippling surface of the water to catch Derek’s nod.

“Well, why…why are you helping me? Don’t you hate me?”

Derek looked completely taken aback as if Stiles’ words had slightly wounded him. It took him a bit before answering.

“Why _wouldn’t_ I help you? I’m not completely heartless and unfeeling. I can physically feel the pain you’re feeling right now. I absolutely hate that I didn’t notice it before. You were right here for so long and I didn’t even notice. Why Stiles? Why are you like this?”

Stiles shrunk at the question and Derek quickly set one hand on the back of his neck in a soothing, gentle hold.

“No, no. I’m not mad at you. Well, I’m not _that_ mad at you. I’m only mad because you didn’t tell me. You didn’t even tell Scott and he’s your best friend.”

Stiles sent the door a scared look but Derek shook his head. “They’ve given us some privacy and are up in the kitchen.”

Stiles nodded and looked back down at his twiddling thumbs beneath the water.

“You guys didn’t need me anymore.” Stiles said before looking back up in pain at Derek’s face.

“What do you mean?”

Stiles gave him a sad smile and shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.”

They sat there in silence. Derek had no idea what to say to that. He wasn’t good at comforting or interrogating without hurting someone and right now Stiles needed to be handled delicately. So they didn’t say anything more. After a bit of warming up Derek took the shampoo and conditioner bottle and drizzled some into his hand and ran it through Stiles’ disheveled hair and lathered and cleaned him up. He let Stiles soap himself and after he was clean and rinsed he held out a towel.

“I’ll let you tell me when you want to but from now on I’m not letting you out of my sight.” Derek said sternly and saw Stiles give him a small, sad look that seemed to make his heart physically ache.

“If that’s what you want.” Stiles whispers.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Isaac and Scott were waiting outside the bathroom when Stiles and Derek stepped out again. They were both clothed in the sweats Isaac had retrieved for them and carrying the cold, wet ones in their arms. Changing had been a bit awkward and the both of them had turned their back so they could mostly ignore that they were both naked in close proximity to one another. The rambunctious little pups seemed to writhe with unbridled energy around them but chose to stay close but quiet. Stiles new they were dying to ask what had happened but he ignored them and followed Derek over to the laundry pile and dumped his clothes.

“Are you hungry?” Derek asked as he headed towards the stairs.

“Nah, I’m good. Just tired.”

“You should sleep.” Derek said but then Stiles gave him a ‘ _you’ve got to be kidding me_ ’ look and he nodded. “Right. I’ll make some lunch. Scott, Isaac, did you two eat yet?”

“No, we were waiting for you two. Stiles, you sure you don’t want anything? I can make you some grilled cheese! Do we have cheese Derek?” Isaac offered.

“I don’t know. It might be under the meat in the back of the freezer if we do.”

Stiles watched Isaac look at him with hopeful eyes and sighed. “Fine. Just a small one though. I don’t need any double-decker, super stuffed sandwich.” He said, his eyes on Scott who gave him a sheepish smile.

“Ok! I’ll go make you one!” Isaac bounded up the stairs and disappeared behind Derek.

Scott stayed down there and sat with Stiles when he took his usual chair over to the window again.

“What happened out there man? You looked like crap when Derek carried you in here. Are you hurt?”

Stiles gave him as much of a reassuring smile as he could muster. “I just got lost man and my joints were freezing up something bad. I couldn’t have made it up those stairs. I’m fine really.”

Scott stared at him with suspicion. “You sure? You’ve been super quiet and you haven’t been eating. And what was that last night? Another nightmare right?”

“Ah, yeah man. It was just so weird it scared the crap outta me. Trust me though, it’s totally fine. Doesn’t happen too often. It’s probably just ‘cause of the storm.” He lied as easily as he breathed and he felt a pang of guilt flood through him before he squashed it just in case Scott could sense it.

“Yeah man. The storm is way crazy! It’s put my wolf completely on edge! Also I checked the phone earlier and there was a slight signal during the dead point in the storm. I called Lydia and Allison to tell them about what we thought and had just hung up before the signal cut out again.”

“Ok, so the girls are working on it. That’s good. They have more resources than we do at the moment. Now we just have to wait until the next dead point in the storm and call them or go visit them to get all the facts.” Stiles said, grateful for the conversation change. “Does Derek know?”

Scott nodded and looked up towards the stairs where the other two’s voices could be heard talking softly amongst them.

“Go join them. I’m gonna think more on our options about this storm ok?”

Scott nodded maybe a little too eagerly and took off up the stairs. Stiles watched him go and felt the little part of him that might have woken up fall back into the emptiness. Being alone did that to him but he’d rather be alone than with someone who didn’t want to be with him. That just made the pain unbearable.

“Hey Stiles!” Isaac’s head popped around the corner and stared at him over the railing. “You want me to cut it into squares or triangles?”

“Uh, triangles.”

“Ok!”

Stiles turned back to the window and tried to school his expression into a slightly happier one instead of the empty mask he seemed to have donned. When Isaac bounced down the stairs with a plate in hand he managed a small smile that pulled at the edges of his lips. Once the plate was set in front of him he was able to drop the smile and cover it up with a bite of golden brown grilled cheese. Isaac was watching him expectantly.

“It’s really good. Thanks Isaac.”

Isaac let out a bright, genuine smile and nodded happily. “Good! Glad you like it!” he said and ran back up the stairs.

Stiles ate slowly and felt the warm food fill his stomach. Now he was thirsty but didn’t want to make the effort to go grab a water bottle so he simply pushed the empty plate away and sat there, staring at it until it suddenly disappeared from the desk top. Looking up quickly his eyes met Derek’s green ones before he turned away.

“Need anything?” Derek whispered and Stiles was reminded of his dad and he let a small smile grace his lips.

“Actually, could I have some water?”

“Yeah.”

He’d never needed anything from his dad but now he needed something from Derek. Stiles shook his head at the strange circumstances he’d been thrown into. The cold water bottle was placed in his hand and he nodded his head.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

That was the extent of his conversations for the rest of the evening. They asked him around dinner time if he wanted anything but he just shook his head, saying he was still full from lunch. Scott gave him another strange look but just shrugged it off and clambered up the steps. Night fell slowly, time dragging on and on. There was nothing to do and nothing to keep his mind busy so Stiles just stared out the window like the night before until the darkness began giving him that creepy feeling and he patted the blanket back into place over the window. Scott and Isaac had had several wrestling matches and had decided to have a work out contest, seeing who could do the most sit-ups or push-ups until they were finally all tuckered out. Scott had won just barely and was currently gloating over it where they sprawled on the couch. Derek had started a new book and was already a good portion into it by the time Stiles moved away from the window. He looked up at the movement and when he caught Stiles’ eye patted the bed next to him.

“What books are you reading?” Stiles asked as he sat on the bed.

“Just finished ‘Of Mice and Men’. Now I’m reading ‘A Brave New World’.” He said and showed Stiles the front cover.

“Classics. Nice. Didn’t really take you for a literature guy.”

Derek nodded and pulled the book back in front of his face, shining the book light down at it since the loft was cloaked in darkness once more. Stiles sat back against the pillows and pulled his feet up so he could wrap his arms around his knees. He was comfortable like that for a long while. Scott clicked on a flashlight sometime later and began looking through the origami Isaac had been doing the nights before and was awed over several of the more intricate ones. Stiles sighed quietly and pulled the blanket around his shoulders even tighter.

Eventually, several hours into the dark hours of the night both lights had gone out and Derek settled down under the covers, pulling them out for Stiles as well. Isaac and Scott had settled in maybe twenty minutes before and were already sound asleep. Stiles pulled the blanket already around his shoulders over his body before sliding into the bed and lying with his back towards Derek. The blankets were tugged up around him before the bed bounced and Derek’s back settled against his. Stiles pushed back slightly to get more heat and sighed against the pillow.

 

Sweat poured over his back as he jolted awake. He didn’t even remember falling asleep. His mind was in chaos and his heart felt like it was going to explode. Stiles remembered nothing of his nightmare, only the remaining horror and fear and madness that had gripped him so very tightly. Behind him Derek’s even breath signaled he hadn’t woken him and he slowly clambered out of the bed. Despite being under the warm covers and next to a warm body Stiles was freezing. He shivered as he made his way over to his backpack silently and drew out the cutter. Swiftly he scuttled to the bathroom and locked the door behind him. He flicked on the light and leaned over the sink.

“Just make it go away. Make it better. Just a little bit.” He whispered to the glinting blade and peeled the bandage away from his skin.

The cuts from before were all closed and scabbing over. There wasn’t enough pain to keep the empty madness away and Stiles felt like he was drowning once more. Putting the cold blade to his clammy skin he pulled the blade through the flesh and sighed in absolute relief when the panic subsided a bit. Another swipe had his breathing back to normal and once more calmed the dwindling chaos within him. It made him feel. It made him whole again and he stayed there, leaning over the sink and letting his blood flow until his heart was steady and he could breathe easy.

Quickly he turned the nozzle on the sink and water gushed forth. The noise startled him and he shut it off just as fast as he turned it on. It then dawned on him that he’d taken a bath earlier and that the water was working again. He shuffled that bit of information away in the back of his mind to remind himself later and slowly turned the tap back on, quieter this time. A small drizzle of water helped him clean the blood off of himself and the cutter. He knew the others would still be able to smell the blood so he rewrapped the bandage on his arm before looting around under the sink and pulling out the hydrogen peroxide from the first aid kit and poured just a little down the sink before putting it back.

With his mess now cleaned up and feeling better than he had all day, Stiles turned out the light and waited until a portion of his night vision returned and he made his way out of the bathroom and over to his backpack to put his knife away. Everything was still as he climbed back onto the bed and for a moment he thought he’d gotten away with it but then the bed shifted and he knew Derek was awake. Stiles could pretend he didn’t know though and not say anything and hope Derek would just go back asleep. But it was a vein hope. Derek turned over and scoot up close behind Stiles so his mouth was right next to his ear and his chest was against his back.

“You did it again didn’t you?” Derek whispered into his ear and snaked his arm under Stiles’ side and down his arm to grasp ahold of his wrist below the bandage.

Stiles shivered at his warm breath against his sensitive skin and remained silent for a bit before nodding.

“Sorry.”

Derek sighed against his shoulder and pulled him with both arms until he rest completely against his body.

“Why do you do it? Can you tell me that much? What does it do for you?”

Stiles was silent again for many heartbeats before opening his mouth and whispering into the silent air, “It makes me feel.”

“Feel? What do you mean? Can’t you feel this?” Derek asked and gave Stiles’ body a slight squeeze closer to his.

“I mean inside. I’m…empty. I can’t explain it right. Doing this makes it feel like I can breathe again.” He whispered and hunched in on himself a bit as if ashamed.

Derek rubbed his stubbly chin over Stiles shoulder as he thought about Stiles’ answer. What could he say? Should he ask him to stop? Would that do any good? But as he took in Stiles’ shivering body he decided against it. Stiles never did anything without good reason, especially nothing as serious as this. Maybe he could convince him of different options though. But, what other options were there to make him _feel_ as he’d put it.

“What can I do?” he asked.

“Just don’t tell the others.” Stiles whispered and grasped ahold of Derek’s hand with his other where it was still gripped around his wrist.

“What does cutting yourself make you feel?” he asked slowly, not sure if the question was too invasive.

“It…makes me feel…alive. Like when I used to be useful to you guys. It reminded me of the times I’d get hurt for your sake and it just felt…right. I was so useless for so long and unneeded that I fell apart. Being alone like that…no one ever there, no one to talk to…it destroyed me. I can’t even…”

Derek felt Stiles’ whole body shudder and buried his face in Stiles’ shoulder, shushing him as he felt the nonstop shiver. He just held him like that, not knowing what else to do. Was it just the emotional things he couldn’t feel anymore? Did that include physical like when he didn’t know he was hungry or refused sleep even though he was tired? Maybe familiar touches could help just like it did with wolves.

Thinking long and hard, Derek finally lifted his other arm on top of Stiles and slowly drew his hand down the length of his right arm and back up once he’d gotten to his knuckles. Again he dragged his fingers across the thin arm, mapping out any moles or scars he had beneath the shirt. Slowly Stiles stopped shaking and finally lay still in his arms. He wasn’t asleep but at least he was calmer.

“Will you sleep again?”

Derek felt Stiles shake his head and sighed against his shoulder.

“I’ll stay right here. I won’t let you go.” He whispered and felt Stiles shudder again but there wasn’t the cold chill on his skin like before.

Stiles’ arm felt like lines of fire were being drawn across it from the heat of Derek’s fingers and sighed. He hadn’t felt an actual touch like this in ages. He finally allowed himself to relax into Derek which seemed to encourage him. His fingers got bolder and as he drew his fingers back from his knuckles, the tips of his fingers caught the hem of the sleeve and slipped over to draw across his unblemished wrist. Stiles didn’t know what it meant so he just let it be. Derek changed his petting path once he reached his shoulder and drew his fingers lightly down Stiles’ side and back up.

“Is this ok?”

Stiles nodded and that was all the encouragement Derek needed. He laid the flat of his palm against Stiles side and slid his hand along the shirt back up to his shoulder and back down again. The shirt hitched up a bit on his hip bone and on the next slide down Derek’s fingers brushed the bare skin of Stiles’ hip. There was a sudden intake of breath between Stiles’ lips and Derek stilled.

“You ok?”

“Yeah.” Stiles said his throat thick.

He didn’t know exactly what was going on or what exactly he was feeling but it was definitely different from the usual numbness. It was something he hadn’t felt in months. The slide of Derek’s palm continued up and down his side, his hot fingertips brushing his pale skin every time he reached the hem of the shirt. The little touches sent fire through Stiles in a way he didn’t understand. Was this a new form of chaos? It certainly wasn’t calmness.

Stiles felt his heart thunder in his chest as Derek’s hand lingered on the exposed skin every now and again. Derek could hear Stiles’ heart rate increase every time their skin touched and took that as a good thing, doing it more often. Slowly, when he reached bare skin once more he slid his fingers beneath the edge of the shirt and rubbed soothing circles onto the skin there.

“Still ok?”

Stiles’ nod was immediate and Derek slid his hand further along his bare skin, over to his stomach and back again before running his hand back up his side and along his ribs, pulling the shirt with it. Stiles felt his breath hitch as Derek touched more skin. He was so confused but the amazement that he wasn’t panicking or fading into an empty daze kept him from backing away or protesting. In fact he felt absolutely no desire to stop.

Derek pet him like that, his hand lightly running over Stiles’ skin until it was completely warmed. He ran his hand over his stomach and up his side, over his ribs and back down his hip before doing it again. Stiles was breathing a little heavily but he took that as a good thing. He was responding to what he was doing and he sensed no negative feelings at all. There was confusion but that wasn’t at all bad. Feeling him relax even further against him he pulled his palm up and over Stiles’ chest and suddenly felt his heart sky rocket. He paused, stilling his hand and his body completely.

“What’s the matter?” he asked slowly, not letting his voice become anything but soothing as a mother wolf would her cub.

“Wh-…uh…what are you doing exactly?” Stiles’ voice was strained but still there was no unpleasantness.

“Soothing you. Touching usually helps us calm down. I didn’t know what else to do. Are you ok with that?”

“Uh…yeah. I just…uh…” Stiles trailed off, not quite sure how to explain his quite sudden predicament. He wasn’t even quite sure when it’d happened.

Stiles guessed his body just wasn’t used to touching and after many weeks of neglect he felt himself respond in an entirely different way than he was sure was intended.

“I’ll just…um…bathroom. I’m going to the bathroom.” His voiced wavered and cracked a little at the end as he pulled on Derek’s arm around his wrist and started kicking at the sheets, trying to get up.

Derek held on firmly, not letting go for anything.

“No way. You were just in there and I do not want you alone right now.” He growled into his neck and Stiles sucked in a breath at the feeling of Derek’s lips moving against his skin ever so slightly.

“No dude, that’s not what I meant. I just _really_ need to go right now. Like _right_ now!” Stiles groaned out and let go of Derek’s hand to press the flat of his palm down hard against his growing ‘problem’.

“What do you…oh.” Derek said simply as he realized that his soothing had elicited another unexpected reaction. “Does this make you hard?” he asked bluntly and rubbed his thumb in a circle beneath his shirt on his chest.

Stiles hissed and started wriggling again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. Please let me go. I’ll sleep on the floor.” His voice was becoming desperate again.

The need to get away from and move closer to Derek was so strong and confusing Stiles felt like he was being yanked in two different directions. Derek still held on to him and was quiet for just enough time that Stiles thought that he was mad and disgusted with him for sure.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered again and started struggling in earnest.

Derek realized he hadn’t said anything as he felt himself swell with pride at the thought that he’d been able to make Stiles _feel_. When he registered what was being said he pressed his hand firmly to his chest.

“No. You’re not going anywhere. Don’t be sorry.” He growled at him.

“B-but…I’m…my…I didn’t mean to. Just let me take care of it.” He whispered urgently.

“Here. Take care of it right here.”

Stiles stilled in surprise and confusion. Had Derek seriously just told him to masturbate right there, in his bed, while he was holding him? That didn’t sound right. Was Derek really that tired? He had to be! This was just crazy.

“You don’t know what you’re saying! You’re just tired. Let me go!”

“I know exactly what I’m saying. Now either you take care of it or I will.”

Stiles felt Derek’s words jolt though him straight into his groin and groaned, unfamiliar with the feeling. It’d been way too long since he’d jerked off and never had he jerked off in front of anyone. Then he stilled as the fact that he was aroused instead of hollow like he’d expecting. Slowly he tilted his head towards the ceiling and was silent as he thought about that for a bit longer.

“You think this’ll help me?” he whispered slowly.

Derek breathed against his neck and sighed. “I’m not sure. I wasn’t expecting this but…maybe. If this gets you back to the Stiles I know then I’m willing to do it. Are you?”

Stiles shivered once again and reached his hand down past Derek’s arm where it was still under his shirt and once again pressed his palm against the tent in his sweats. Slowly he ran his fingers along the underside of his erect cock and gave a little whimper.

“Please don’t hate me.” He whispered.

Stiles let his fingers slide into the elastic band of the sweats and slid down his happy trail into the thick curls at the base of his cock where he grabbed it firmly. Derek could smell the arousal coming off of him in waves and shifted back a little just in case it affected him too and held onto Stiles as he began pleasuring himself. Stiles’ back arched a bit off the bed into Derek’s hand and he began to slide his hand up and down his chest. Stiles gave a small whimper when Derek’s thumb caught on a pert nipple and his hand sped up in his pants. Derek did it again and relished in the same agonized whimper that came from Stiles’ throat.

Stiles felt the pleasure building at the base of his spine and new he was going to cum soon. “T-tissue.” He gasped as quietly as he could.

He groaned when Derek’s hand left him and part of his chest as well as he turned to the other side of the bed to grab a wad of tissues from the box and slid them down Stiles’ arm until his hand could grab them and he was stuffing it into his pants. Stiles’ whole body suddenly tensed up and he bit his lips hard to keep the high pitched moan from breaking through and came thickly into the wad of tissues. His breath came fast as he panted in bliss. He hadn’t felt pleasure in so long it felt like it was his first time orgasming again. Slowly he felt himself lowering from his cloud of bliss and quickly cleaned up his softened cock before withdrawing the messy tissues.

“Um…” Stiles hummed awkwardly as he looked over the edge of the bed on his side for the trash can.

“Hold on.” Derek said and leaned back over to his side and pulled the small trash can over and let Stiles throw the wad away.

Derek set it back down and reached over to readjust Stiles’ shirt and settle against his back once more, his hips carefully kept at bay. Stiles was completely relaxed in his arm and he suddenly felt very good about how this turned out. There might be some awkwardness in the morning but he’d deal with that when it came.

“Thanks.” Stiles mumbled and Derek grunted before yawning into his back. “Go to sleep.”

“You too. I’m sure you can now.”

Stiles almost smiled. Almost. The thought crossed his mind before he just decided to close his eyes. And Derek was right. He could sleep and he did. He slept for a solid six hours in Derek’s arms without a single dream until the bed shifted and Derek’s yawn woke him from his unexpected slumber. Peering through blurry eyes he looked over towards the couch and saw that Isaac and Scott were still asleep and thanked all that was good for small miracles.

“Derek.” He said, his voice still slightly hoarse from sleep.

“Shh. Later.” Derek mumbled and stretched.

Stiles just nodded and slowly sat up to rub his bleary eyes of sleep. His wrist gave a twinge and he absently rubbed at it as his mind ran over the things from last night. He felt slightly awkward, a bit afraid, totally confused, but mostly he felt…relieved? He wasn’t sure. But whatever had happened last night a little bit had lingered and he felt more alive than he had in a long time.

“Water’s on by the way.” He said as Derek stood up.

Derek looked at him as he thought about that for a second. “Oh yeah. The bath was running yesterday. Didn’t even realize it.”

“Same.”

Derek walked to the bathroom and quietly shut it, leaving Stiles in the silence of the storming morning. Looking out the window he saw the same dark clouds still spitting rain and hail down at them and sighed. He wished the storm would just let up already. He needed to get home to his dad and Scott and Isaac had to get back to Melissa and he was sure Derek wanted his peace and quiet back. Quickly he checked Derek’s cell phone that was still on the table and saw that the battery was running low and there was still no signal. Derek came back out of the bathroom looking annoyed.

“Well, I guess whatever water we’d had yesterday was just the back-up supply because there is absolutely no more. Turns out there was also a back-up power supply somewhere because that’s what the heater in the tub works with and we used that too.” Derek sighed and plopped down on his bed.

“Sorry ‘bout that.” Stiles said quietly and Derek jerked his head up to look at him.

“No no, I’m not blaming you. It’s just a little frustrating ‘cause I didn’t know. I’m not at all prepared for this storm and it’s…”

“Frustrating.” Stiles repeated Derek’s earlier word and he nodded.

“Very. Now, let’s get breakfast started before those two start bugging us when they wake up.”

Stiles nodded and put down the phone he was still holding and followed Derek up the stairs. Today was the best day in a long while so far. Maybe, just maybe it would stay like this… Maybe?

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still not a summary... I couldn't upload anything for a couple days. Sorry about that. As recompense here's three chapters today.

The kitchen was the warmest place in the house at the moment and all four of them were huddled in there as the weather suddenly got colder. When Scott and Isaac had woken up they’d looked out the window to see what was in store for today and saw a blanket of white across the window. They’d run up the stairs yelling about the apocalypse. Evidently that’d been the topic before they’d slept last night and they’d predicted the future. Stiles had watched as Derek bonked them both on the head with the back of the spatula he was holding and looked at the window as he told them to shut up and calm down. Peeling back the edge of the blanket he was indeed met with a storming wall of white. Now they were wrapped in a bunch of blankets sitting around the stove that was still blazing even though food wasn’t cooking.

“The storm’s not going away. You think we’ll actually have to go out and get to Allison’s in order to get information?” Scott asked.

Derek shook his head. “We can’t go out in this. We’d get lost or hurt and I can’t have any of you doing that.”

Isaac nodded but didn’t say anything, just huddling closer to the warmth. Stiles looked around at the three of them and sighed. There wasn’t a lot of food left. The meat was almost gone and he’d been eating the bread. There was still cereal and some eggs but not a lot. If this storm kept going then they’d be eaten out of the house.

“Maybe if we went through the alleys between the houses as a group we’d be able to keep warm together and we’d be able to make it to Allison’s or Lydia’s in a couple hours.” Stiles supplied an option since there was no way this was going to get better. “We have no signal and I don’t know if my Jeep would be able to withstand the wind.”

They were silent as they thought about this. Derek was the first to say something.

“Or we could take your Jeep as far as it can go then go the rest of the way on foot. Your Jeep can fit four right?”

“Uh, maybe if someone squeezed in the back.”

The werewolves looked at each other and nodded as if coming to an unspoken agreement.

“Ok. Stiles give me your keys. Isaac get all of the sweats and blankets you and I own and pile them on the couch. We need to get to one of the girls’ houses. Who’s closest?”

Stiles watched as they bounced up from their seats while Scott confirmed that Lydia lived closer. Derek would get his keys whether he wanted him to or not so he just stayed where he was. After a bit Derek came back up wearing layers and layers of clothes and a blanket that was wrapped around his shoulders.

“Well, are you coming?”

“Who’s driving?”

“Scott. He said he knew a short cut there that ran along smaller roads so there’s less of a chance the wind would knock them over.”

“Oh, ok. That’s good. I think I’ll stay here. I’ll just be in the way there and I don’t want to slow you down since I’ll get colder faster than you guys.”

Derek crouched down next to him and Stiles raised one eyebrow at him. “What?”

“Is that really what you want? To be alone here?”

Stiles sighed and looked at the glowing embers of the fire. “Yeah. I don’t want to see Lydia. I can’t deal with her right now. Just, make sure the other two are safe ok?”

Derek continued to stare at him until with a slow nod he got back up and went downstairs. There wasn’t much commotion after that and Stiles waited until he heard the heavy door slam back into place before he sighed and got up from his chair. He silently walked down the stairs and scooted his chair over to the window and pulled back the blanket to stare at the white flurry in front of him. It was absolutely frigid but he didn’t care. He was alone again.

A few moments passed and Stiles found his mind restless instead of dozing off into that spell he seemed to constantly slip into. _What happened last night? He didn’t say anything about it this morning. But then again Derek’s always been weird. Was he grossed out? Was_ I _grossed out? No, no I wasn’t. Why wasn’t I? I know for a fact I don’t just go around popping random boners whenever someone touches me. But that wasn’t really normal touching though. Why did he do that?_ That last question thoroughly stumped Stiles and he sat there staring blindly at the blizzard while he frowned, thinking hard about this.

A slam behind him startled him so bad he jumped half out of his seat before being deposited on the floor. Groaning in pain and cold he slowly rolled to his hands and knees, rubbing his tailbone where he’d landed on it.

“Freaking ow.” He mumbled and hissed at the tenderness.

Booted feet appeared in his line of sight and he followed them up over the sweat-clad legs and completely passed by the waist and chest area to look Derek right in the face. For a second he felt his cheeks warm but then he looked down again and the cold flooded back into his skin.

“Ah, yeah. Startled me.” Stiles explained even though he hadn’t been asked.

A hand tapped his head and he looked up to see Derek’s offered hand and he grabbed it so he could be pulled upright once more. As soon as he got back onto his feet he let the hand go but it stuck to his in a firm grip. He frowned at it for a second before looking up at Derek who was silently watching him, looking him over.

“Um, what? Why are you staring at me? I don’t have anything on me, do I?” he asked, nervous under the attention.

“You’re ok right?”

Somehow Stiles knew Derek wasn’t talking about the fall and he tugged his hand out of Derek’s and pulled his hands into his armpits.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Where are the others? I thought you were going to Lydia’s.”

“They’ll be just fine. They have the cell and we decided it’s better for them to just stay there and figure out as much as they can before coming back. They might need a couple of days and the idea of staying at Lydia’s house for that long…” Derek trailed off with a barely concealed shudder.

Stiles eyed him suspiciously before nodding. “If you say so.”

“I do.” Derek said firmly and Stiles nodded slowly.

“Well, you’d have been less bored over there. There’s, like, nothing to do here. How are you even entertained here?”

“I’m not usually stuck inside all the time. It’s also never this cold either.”

Stiles gave him a questioning look, wondering what the cold had to do with the boringness of the house but then he remembered how much Derek liked to work out without a shirt and summed it up to that being the reason.

“Right. Um, I’m just going to…sit over here then.” Stiles mumbled and backed up towards the chair.

“It’s really cold over here. You need to stay warm or you’ll catch a cold.”

Stiles shrugged and shook his head. “Nah, I’ll be good. I don’t really have anything else to do besides watch the storm.”

Derek frowned and looked like he was deep in thought for a second before he sighed. “Well, I have a lot of books if you wanted. Also printer paper since Isaac likes folding it a lot.” He said as he began stripping the many layers over his head until he was left with just a long sleeve shirt and a single pair of sweats on his legs. His feet were still clad in a pair of thick winter socks.

Stiles almost smiled at that as he looked back towards the window while Derek undressed just in case he saw something he shouldn’t. “I’ll probably just end up making a mess.”

“Then a mess you’ll make. Just clean it up after you’re done and I won’t complain.”

“Dude, since when don’t you complain?”

Derek shot him a glare as he started walking towards his bed. “Don’t call me dude.”

“Sourwolf.” Stiles whispered under his breath and heard Derek growl and that finally brought a small smile to his face.

He did as Derek had suggested and pulled out some of the paper in the desk and began messing around with it like he’d seen Isaac do. That had been the longest conversation he’d had with anybody in a while. He wasn’t used to it and that feeling was something new. Derek seemed to be ever so slowly driving whatever emptiness that had settled within him out. But was that a good thing? Stiles didn’t know and he didn’t care at the moment and just focused on the paper. The odd shapes he created, each line he folded, every piece he used had him moving, his hands unstopping as they had before. Every time he stretched his hands out he’d feel the stick of the bandage over his cuts and that slight pull that reminded him of the pain that so often filled his hollowness. Could Derek get rid of this self-destruction?

Stiles shook his head and squashed the hope he’d begun to feel. He couldn’t rely on someone else to fix his own problems. If he started to hope now and later when his hope was trampled on like he knew it would be then he’d be in more pain than when he started. No, he wasn’t going to hope but he could at least fill this exact moment in time with whatever he could, even if that meant filling it with Derek. That thought made him groan and Derek’s head shot up from where it’d been nestled in the pages of his book and stared at Stiles. Stiles stared back before shrugging.

“Sorry. Just a weird thought that crossed my mind. Won’t happen again.” Stiles assured him before going back to his papers hurriedly.

“What thought?” Derek asked in a low voice, lowering his book to give Stiles his undivided attention.

“Uh, nothing important really. Just…random thoughts.” He said quickly, feeling his face heat up.

“You made that noise over nothing?” Derek asked with a hint of mockery in his tone.

Stiles winced and looked back at Derek, his cheeks flushing slightly. He didn’t remember how to handle these situations. He’d always been awkward with these things and if he wasn’t careful he’d end up babbling uselessly in embarrassment.

“Um, yeah…nothing.”

Derek slammed his book shut and the noise echoed around them, making Stiles flinch. Stiles stared wide eyed at him as he shifted his legs off the bed and stood up, setting the book aside on the bed-side table without looking away from him. Stiles gulped rather loudly and felt the paper tear slightly beneath his fingers which gave him an excuse to break the sudden intense stare between them. As he inspected the small tear he tried to ignore Derek’s approach as best he could but each step seemed to echo loudly around him. He fiddled with the paper, making the tear larger until Derek’s fingers settled over his and they stilled.

“I can tell when you’re lying Stiles.”

Stiles shivered at his touch and the sound of his name passing so softly from between Derek’s lips. Why was he thinking about Derek’s lips? Stiles looked up and his gaze immediately set upon his mouth. Nope, he should _definitely_ not be thinking about Derek’s lips. Or be looking at Derek’s lips. Had what happened last night made him desperate or something because suddenly he felt _very_ desperate and not in a good way. Like an ‘I’m drowning and right now the only thing that will save me is your mouth’ kind of desperate. It bordered between enticing Stiles and freaking him out.

“You’re thinking about something again.”

Derek’s voice startled him and his gaze jerked away from his mouth and up into his eyes which wasn’t really any better. Their stare held fast and it seemed like neither one could blink. Stiles felt a tightness in his chest and confusion swept through him.

“Uh…we…um…we should talk. Yeah, that’s it. We should talk.” He swallowed nervously as he felt his hands shake beneath Derek’s. “You know, about last night? ‘Cause yeah, that needs explaining and talking about. A lot of talking about.” He babbled.

Derek nodded his head slowly. “You’re right. We do.”

Stiles waited for him to say something more but that seemed to be all he was going to say so he drew in a shaky breath. “Last night. What happened? I don’t usually go around getting hard in other guy’s beds. Actually I never go around getting into _any_ guy’s bed. Especially not hard and, um, you were…hands…all over me…um…”

Derek’s mouth began to tilt up in a smirk and his fingers had begun to take the paper away from Stiles’ hands.

“What happened last night was interesting. I hadn’t meant for it to happen that way but it did. Are you ok with that?”

“Uh, well, that depends on if _you’re_ ok with that. ‘Cause, you know, I’m a guy. Guys don’t usually do that with guys.” Stiles mumbled, trying to keep his thoughts together when Derek’s fingers trailing over his made it so difficult.

“Sure they do. It happens all the time. Just not as much as everyone is willing to admit. Tell me, did it help? What happened last night, did it help you feel better, even for just a moment?”

Stiles was silent as he blushed scarlet remembering last night. The hands and the touching and then his dick and ok yeah, he needed to think about something else.

“It kinda did? I’m not sure?” he said as if he were asking a question. “I don’t feel as…empty today I guess. I keep thinking about what happened and I don’t know if you meant it or if it was just a meaningless thing you did or if it would happen again or if it was bad if it were to happen again or maybe I wanted it to happen again. I mean, I haven’t gotten a boner in weeks and…” Stiles felt his face and neck heat almost to the point of pain as he realized what he just said. “And I did _not_ mean to say that out loud. Eesh.”

Derek was full on smirking at him now, looking a little triumphant actually. His fingers had managed to wind around Stiles’ and when he moved Stiles had no choice but to follow. They moved around the desk so it no longer separated them and Stiles couldn’t help but notice the bed was just that much closer now.

“So you’re saying you want it to happen again because it made you feel something. You think if this were to continue the cutting would stop?”

Stiles shifted nervously as Derek said his secret aloud. He couldn’t help a quick glance around even though they were alone.

“I don’t want you to if you don’t want to. If this’ll be just another meaningless thing that’s thrown at us because of my stupidity I’d rather just deal with this alone.” He mumbled.

“This is definitely not meaningless.” Derek said sternly, his anger surprising them both. “Ah, I mean, I want to if it’ll help you.”

Stiles sighed and pulled his hands back so he could think clearly and tucked them under his arms like he’d done before.

“What I mean is I don’t know if I like you but if I do something like this then I’ll probably end up liking you and if you won’t like me back or you suddenly realize that I’m a guy and it’s gross then I don’t want to do this. You’ve had your fair share of relationship issues and I don’t want you to suddenly think that this’ll end up bad as well. Not that it’ll be a relationship! I mean, you know, if this did turn into that I don’t want to be dropped flat. That’ll just make things way, way worse. So if it’ll be like that then I’d rather just stay like this.”

Derek waited until Stiles was finished completely before leaning forward slightly so their faces were closer together.

“The thought of you hurting makes me hurt Stiles. If being in a relationship is ok with you then that’s fine with me. I don’t think you’re gross. If you want the truth then what you did last night was one of the hottest things that have happened in a long time for me. Yes I have my problems but right now yours are much more important.” Derek paused and stepped into Stiles’ personal space.

Stiles was tempted to take a step back but refused to back down since the very thought of this actually happening made him feel like the cold was receding completely from his body.

“Can _you_ handle being with a guy? Does that gross _you_ out? If I kissed you right now would you back away disgusted?” Derek’s voice got lower and he moved even closer with every question.

Stiles leaned his head back to look up at Derek and saw that his face was unbearably close. He could see in fine detail the dark stubble on his chin and the slight chapness of his lips. He could feel Derek’s breath wash over his face and felt a shiver run through his whole body. Stiles’ lips parted as he let out that same little groan that had started this conversation and Derek took that as an invitation, leaning his head down ever so slightly and tilted to the right and met Stiles’ mouth with his own in a gentle question of a kiss.

Derek’s mouth was so soft over his. There was no pressure applied and their lips were the only place on their bodies that touched. A spasm tore through his body and suddenly he was stepping into Derek’s body and his arms fell to his side so their chests could touch. The warmth of Derek’s hands settled themselves onto his upper arms and he pressed his mouth just a bit firmer against Derek’s. For a second they were still before Derek pressed back, moving his lips against Stiles and he was left breathless at the sweet softness of the lips under his.

“Please tell me we’re going to do this.” He whispered against Stiles’ lips when he pulled back a bit to breathe and talk.

“Yes. Please?” Stiles pleaded right back.

Derek’s grip tightened and he began pulling Stiles back towards the bed, leading him step by slow step. Once he reached the end of the bed he broke the kiss and sat down, looking up at Stiles with lustful but patient eyes.

“Tell me what you want.”

Stiles bit his kiss wetted lip and knew Derek could hear his heart skip a beat at his question, knew and saw his smile as a result. He fidgeted with the edges of his sleeves before pressing them against his sides. Derek trailed his fingers up Stiles’ sides and back down to grip his waist and hold him there.

“Um, can you touch me?” Stiles asked with a blush. “L-like I did to myself last night?” he almost whispered the end.

Derek gave him a small grin that showed the barest hint of teeth and Stiles shuddered. He was pulled onto the bed and up to the pillows before the blankets were pulled aside for him. Unhurried he crawled under and lay on his side, his back to Derek who climbed in after him. The slow gentleness of it put his heart and mind at ease and he was able to relax when Derek pressed his body against him, legs and all.

“I might get hard during this as well. That ok?” Derek asked his permission and Stiles gave a short nod.

“Of course.” He said almost breathlessly.

Derek didn’t answer, didn’t need to, as he wrapped his arms around Stiles and just held him like that for a few long moments before slowly moving his hand to Stiles’ right hand, his thumb tracing his knuckles. Stiles sighed and let himself be touched. He needed this. He really needed this. The fingers travelling slowly up his arm and back down felt so good. They left fire in their wake and warmed him in a way that he hadn’t been able to before. When those fingers, that hand went from his shoulder slowly down his side he gave a low sigh of contentment and shut his eyes, letting himself feel everything that Derek was doing to his body.

Derek felt Stiles move slightly into his touch and pressed the flat of his palm completely against his thin body. He could feel the ridge of his ribs and the tenderness of his hips as he slid his hand back and forth, relaxing Stiles slowly. As soon as Stiles let out another low sigh of contentment he slipped his fingers underneath the edge of the shirt and pet the skin along the sensitive ridge of his hip. Stiles shuddered against his body and he took that as encouragement, slipping his entire hand under the shirt and sliding his palm up Stiles side. The shirt goes with him and pulls it all the way up under his armpit. Stiles lifted himself so the shirt didn’t catch and once Derek’s hand started to slide back down his side he relaxed once more with a shudder.

“Is this ok?” Derek mumbled against Stiles’ shoulder which earned him a shiver.

“Y-yeah. It’s good. Feels good.”

Stiles was breathless as his skin tingled everywhere Derek touched. Those fingers traced every line on his side before moving to his stomach. They danced around his navel teasingly before sliding up to his sternum where they traced the slightly protruding bone. Then they slid up to his clavicle before smoothing their way back down. Then up again and repeating a couple times before slipping right underneath his pectoral. Stiles shifted his arm forward a little more so Derek had better access to his chest. When he felt the first touches of Derek’s fingers against his right nipple he gave a shuddering gasp and felt Derek hum against his neck.

“You like these being touched?” Derek asked as he lightly trailed one finger so very lightly over the little nub.

Stiles couldn’t give a proper answer, instead opting for a small groan which was encouragement enough for Derek who slid his entire hand over the tip of it with just enough pressure to make Stiles breathe heavily for a second. Stiles arched his back a little, pushing his chest into Derek’s hand and finally he applied pressure, sending sparks of pleasure straight through Stiles. The touching was doing a number of things to his body, one of them currently growing desperate in his suddenly straining sweats.

“Derek.” Stiles all but panted his name. “Please.”

“Please what?” Derek couldn’t help but taunt just for the satisfaction of the groan that made its way out of Stiles in response.

“Please t-touch me.”

At Stiles pleading gasp he took his hand away from Stiles chest and back down his stomach to the happy trail that led to his straining pants. Teasingly he ran his fingers through the coarse hair, toying with it as he slid his hand farther down. He wanted Stiles to feel absolutely everything he was doing to him. He wanted to engrave this feeling onto his skin so he could feel and know the difference between the pain he brought himself and the pleasure Derek could bring him. Teasingly he slid his fingers not into the pants but over then, drawing a line from his happy trail over the stretched cloth to the tip of Stiles cock where it pushed against the fabric.

“Derek! Come on!” Stiles groaned loudly when he didn’t feel the direct touch of his fingers and only teasing taps on his sensitive tip. “Please?” he whined.

“Alright, alright.”

Derek soothed him with a gentle kiss to his shoulder and brought his hand back down to the edge of his pants and finally pushed it up and over Stiles’ straining cock. Derek couldn’t see it but the smell hit him hard. The salty bite of precum and the muskiness of pure Stiles. It rolled off him in waves and he groaned into Stiles’ neck, his cock hard against the contours of Stiles’ thighs. He felt Stiles jerk in his arms before he groaned loudly and shifted his legs. He could feel Derek pressed against him.

“Derek.” He whispered.

The feel of Derek’s fingers trailing up the side of his inner thigh made him quiver like a leaf. His touches were torturously slow and he could feel himself twitching every time those hot fingers slid against his skin. Once those teasing fingers finally made their way up to the base of his cock they stilled before Derek’s first finger and thumb made a ring around the base and squeezed, pulling upwards until the tip of his cock rest in the circle of his fingers.

“Ngh! Derek, Derek, hah, Derek.” Without conscious thought he began chanting Derek’s name between every few gasps of pleasure.

Derek growled and buried his face into Stiles’ neck, loving the way his arousal smelt as it rolled off him. Every time he drew his hand up his cock he’d jerk in his hand before stilling again. He could feel Stiles holding back from thrusting into his hand. His left hand gripped Stiles’ left wrist and entwined their feet and legs together so they were locked together before grabbing him with his whole hand. The sound that left his lips was positively scandalous.

“Ah, Stiles.” Derek groaned and began pumping him in earnest.

Stiles opened his mouth wide and squeezed his eyes shut as his eyebrows drew up. This was possibly the single most pleasurable experience he’d ever had in his life. Even the first time he’d orgasmed seemed to shy in comparison to this. Derek’s hand was so hot on him and his precum slicked his hand just enough where there was a gentle slide of skin on skin. Every time Derek’s thumb would brush the tip or would press against his frenulum he’d give a short pant of his name and his hips would jerk in his grasp. This felt so good, too good!

“D-Derek! St…ngh! Stop… Ngh!”

Stiles bit his lip hard to keep back the whimper of absolute pleasure as he came hard in Derek’s hand. His thick cum dripped from his hand down onto his thigh but he was so blissed out from his height of orgasm he couldn’t care less about the mess. Derek’s hand stroked him softly through it until he’d softened once again. As soon as he was on his way down from his high he felt Derek shift behind him and his warm hand was pulled away. There was a sudden series of jerking movement and Derek groaned deeply into his neck before his body went rigid against him.

“You ok?” Stiles asked, his voice cracking slightly.

Derek huffed against his neck for a bit before he slowly nodded. “Yeah. Just…give me a minute.”

Stiles nodded and trailed his right hand down his still sensitive body to his softened cock then down into the mess on his thigh. He groaned at the heat of his cum and shivered a bit. He spread his spunk around his thigh until Derek moved behind him again, his hips pulled a safe distance away but his chest was pressed against his back once more.

“Good thing the others are gone.” Stiles mumbled.

“Mm.” Derek mumbled into his neck before sighing and moving the both of them so he could get his left arm out from under Stiles. “We made a mess. Let’s go get cleaned up.”

Stiles nodded and slowly and carefully scooted out from under the blankets and swung his legs over the side of the bed. From there he stood and pulled his pants back up over his ass. When he turned slightly to look at Derek he caught him staring rather intently at the back of his pants where his ass had just been previously exposed. With a slight cough and a blush he made an awkward gesture towards Derek.

“Um, could I have a tissue? It’s starting to dry and it’s kinda uncomfortable.”

Derek didn’t say anything, just reached behind him and pulled the box over for Stiles to grab a couple and let him clean himself up.

“You want a washrag or are you good with tissues?” Stiles asked as he tossed the wad away in the bin beside Derek’s side table.

“I’m good.” Derek mumbled and pulled some tissues too before di+ving his hand beneath the blankets and cleaning himself off.

Stiles tried not to stare at the movement of his hands between his legs under the covers but it was kind of hard since he hadn’t yet seen what Derek’s dick looked like. He’d have to wait for later though since Derek had already tugged up his sweats once more and was pulling the blankets aside.

“We didn’t even mess up the blankets.” Derek said with pride in his voice.

Stiles nodded and stood there awkwardly until Derek patted the bed beside him once more.

“There’s nothing to do so why not just stay right here. Lazing around sounds rather nice right about now.”

Stiles nodded and climbed back onto the bed beside Derek and pulled a pillow around and hugged it to his chest. They sat there, Derek reading once again while Stiles though through what just happened with a small spark of something lighting in his chest. This could be what he needed. Hopefully there’d be a next time.

Stiles allowed himself just the barest hint of a smile and leaned his arm against Derek before settling back into the pillows. There’d better be a next time.

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

When Stiles woke up the next morning silence greeted his ears. He’d slept for the last few hours of the morning with Derek’s arms holding him tight to keep his nightmares away and it’d worked for the most part. He’d dreamed but he didn’t remember it at all, just the memory that he’d had one remained. The light shining in above the blocked window was slightly brighter than usual and when he moved to see if Derek was awake a cold empty bed greeted him. His heart dropped hard and he sat up fast, kicking the blankets aside to run over to the bathroom to see if he was in there but the door was slightly ajar. His feet pounded against the concrete as he ran to the stairs and pounded up the metal to see if he was in the kitchen but a cold empty room stared blankly back at him. Trudging back down the stairs he looked at the big empty room and it dawned on him. Derek had left him. There was no note. There was nothing telling him that Derek had wanted to stay.

Stiles felt the cold creep in and he slowly backed up away from the giant empty space that seemed to grow bigger in front of him until he had backed himself into the corner beneath the stairs. He let his legs buckle beneath him and he slid down the rough wall until he sat upon the cold concrete floor. Everything was so silent around him again. Any warmth he’d felt last night was long gone. Derek had taken it with him. Stiles gasped loudly and felt his eyes prickle until his vision was blurred until the falling of hot tears cleared and it started over again.

He was having a panic attack.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, his voice high. “I’m sorry, please come back. I’m so sorry.”

But Derek didn’t come back. Stiles sat there in the cold, arms wrapped around his legs, the tears from before drying in cold streaks down his face. The emptiness inside him grew swiftly and he simply collapsed there. He knew it was going to hurt when Derek left him. He just didn’t expect it to be so soon. It hurt. And it was cold. Again. The day grew colder as he sat there, the white light from the morning fading back into the dark grey that had plagued the week. The sounds of the storm picked up once again and his mind buzzed with the endless rain. The loft was so silent, so still. He hated it. He hadn’t realized he’d gotten used to all the activity over the last few days. If only Derek hadn’t done that last night then he wouldn’t be feeling his loss so intensely like this.

“Derek. I’m sorry.” He whispered and got up from where he was sitting.

The pain inside of him had dulled to the point he felt lifeless. He couldn’t have that. If he was lifeless he’d have another panic attack but these ones left him dead for days. It was better to have a different pain to focus on.

He stumbled over to his backpack and tugged the cold metal from beneath the folders and barely made it to the bathroom before he slumped to the floor. He peeled off his shirt and goosebumps rose on his flesh from the cold wall of the bathroom against his back. Tearing off the bandage he clicked the blade out of its metal covering and gripped it tight. Instead of the usual horizontal cuts he dragged the blade vertically along the top of his skin, creating shallow three inch cut. It barely bled and there wasn’t enough sensation to cut through the haze like he needed so desperately. That desperation forced his hand to grip tighter and fiercely tugged the blade down his skin, cutting deep into the skin. Pain tore through him and he gave a half sob. He did it again. And again. Vertical cuts doubled the amount of horizontal cuts and his skin wept blood upon the floor and his clothes. He cried out as his cutter bit harshly into another one of his cuts but he continued. He began to feel woozy.

The door banged open but he paid it no mind, he was too focused on what he was doing. There was sound that rang in deaf ears and suddenly a strong hand gripped his. He screamed and struggled against the brutal hold. Blood spattered his body and ran down his arm. He felt so weak but he had to get rid of this deep, agonizing ache. This pain that seemed to be ingrained in him and he could never get rid of. He had to end it. He _had_ to. Again he screamed, trying to force the unbreakable hold away. They slid on a patch of blood and Stiles ended up completely on top of a hard body. He sobbed brokenly into the body and just collapsed there. He didn’t have enough strength to move away and more and he was hoping that the fire blazing in his arm that spread across his body would finally put an end to this empty pain.

“Stiles. Stiles, oh my g-…” he voice that finally made it through the white noise sounded awfully familiar. “Stiles, get up. Stiles! Please!”

Stiles didn’t want to move. There was no way this voice belonged to who he thought it did. He couldn’t face that pain. Not again. He’d been so alone. He was always alone. He just didn’t want to be abandon again. A gut-wrenching sob burst from his chest and his fingers loosened its hold on the cutter until it clattered to the floor. The strong grip holding his arm let go and instead wrapped around him heedless of the blood.

“Stiles. We have to stop the bleeding. Please, please we have to stop it.”

Stiles didn’t make any move to get up. This voice was like sweet torture on his wrecked mind and heart. He just couldn’t. He was so cold. The body was warm beneath him but he didn’t seem to be absorbing any of that splendid heat. Instead the fire from his arm was turning to ice and it hurt so bad. Those strong arms were moving him again and he gave a half formed yell that bubbled from his throat. If he was dreaming then couldn’t this wonderful voice just let him stay like that? Why was it forcing him to move? He cried out when he was moved away from the warm, familiar body and tried to grip at it but his fingers weren’t working right. All he could manage was a small flail before his back was pressed against the cold wall once more. The warm body was gone and he sobbed loudly.

“Shh, it’s ok. I’m right here. I won’t leave you again. I’m so sorry Stiles.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Don’t leave me.” Stiles went back to mumbling over and over again.

Even when the voice reassured him that he wasn’t leaving him and that he’d never leave him again he just couldn’t believe it. There was no way this wasn’t his sick twisted imagination creating cruel, messed up sensations that reminded him of Derek. Even as the strong hands turned gentle he couldn’t convince himself that this person was real. The man in front of his fuzzy eyes wasn’t the man who’d treated him so passionately last night. It wasn’t the man who’d made him feel so much pleasure and it certainly wasn’t the man who’d left him without a single word the morning after.

“Alone. So alone. Cold.” He mumbled brokenly.

“I know. I’m sorry. Just please focus Stiles. Look at me.”

The not-Derek’s voice practically yelled at him and he made his eyes focus. Why did it have to be him? Didn’t he hate him? Hadn’t he always hated him? Maybe this whole time he’d been dreaming and nothing had actually happened to him. Maybe he was well and truly crazy. Completely insane.

“Stiles you’re not crazy.” The man said gently.

Stiles hadn’t realized he’d said it out loud and quickly shut his quivering mouth. He didn’t want the man to speak anymore. Didn’t want to be reminded of those hot hands stroking his body. Didn’t want to feel them as they cleaned the bloody mess he’d made. Yet they didn’t go away. They continued to move his body ever so slightly as they dragged a wet cloth over his torn flesh. They continued to carefully spread the antibiotic salve over the gaping wounds. Proceeded to wrap bandages tightly around his arm all the way to his elbow before settling on top of them.

“Stiles, you still awake?”

Stiles looked at him through bleary eyes and shook his head. “I don’t know. I’m sure I’m dreaming. You’re not here. You left me. You hate me.” His voice cracked. “But you feel so real!”

Derek’s face was smeared with his blood from where Stiles’ hand had hit him. Beyond that Stiles could see the pain etched into his face and the thought that he’d put that there made his abused heart ache. Derek’s bloodied hand came up to rest on Stiles’ pale face and he sighed.

“I’m real. I wouldn’t leave you.” He paused for a breath before continuing. “Let’s get you clean. Come on, into the tub.”

Stiles could do nothing but obey and he let himself be lifted like a small child and set into the tub. As Derek started the water a stray thought flitted across his mind. They had water again…and power… the light was on above the mirror and over the tub. Stiles couldn’t focus on that right now. He could only stare at Derek as he adjusted the temperature and plugged the drain up before reaching for Stiles again. He shrunk back but in the tub there was no where he could go. Why couldn’t this not-Derek just leave him alone. His left arm was lifted above his head and the bloodied dark blue shirt was carefully tugged over that arm, then his right arm until it made it over his head and disappeared over the tub’s edge.

“Do you want me to take off your pants or will you do it?” Derek asked him in a soft voice.

Stiles didn’t answer, just sat there as the tub began to fill, wetting his clothes and sticking them to his body. Honestly, he couldn’t care less since this was only a figment of his imagination. He silently cursed how creative he seemed to be at the moment. The burning in his arm seemed real enough and those hands on him certainly didn’t feel fake but Derek had left him.

“Left me. Derek left me.” He sobbed and let his head thump against the tile wall.

“No, no, no. Stiles I’m here. I’m right here.”

“No you’re not. You’re fake. I just want you to be real.” Stiles shook his head and shut his eyes so he couldn’t see that face that caused him this pain he didn’t know he could feel.

Not-Derek didn’t say anything more and went on undressing Stiles. Carefully he tugged the waistbands of the soaked sweats down Stiles’ hips, lifting him with one arm around his torso, and slipping them off his legs. He squeezed them out and tossed them aside as well. Something plopped down on Stiles’ lap and when he opened his eyes again a washrag was floating in the water above his groin.

“Washrag.” He whispered as he remembered when Derek had helped him warm up from outside a couple days ago.

Nothing else was said after that and Stiles stayed put as his hair was washed and rinsed and then his skin was soaped down. Those hot hands skimmed along his right arm and down to his fingertips, washing all traces of blood away. His left arm was kept above water at all times. When it started to slip down it was always moved back up to rest on the edge of the tub. When the slippery soap was slid down his chest he let his head loll back and just let this strangely real mirage continue its cleaning.

The soap washed over his chest slowly, a hot hand trailing after to spread the soap. When those fingers ghosted over his nipples he let out a sigh and felt the hands stutter before continuing their soaping. They dipped into the water that had filled to just above his navel and started cleaning lower. Stiles let his knees fall open and watched as the not-Derek’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed sharply. If he was in less pain he’d contemplate baiting this guy but he just didn’t have the energy and simply let him clean. His junk was completely bypassed and his legs were lifted from the water one by one to be cleaned. The last to be washed was his dick which he didn’t lift a finger to help and instead punished the mirage Derek by making him clean.

“You’re awfully real for a mirage.” He mumbled aloud and the other Derek stopped to look at him with pain.

“You still don’t believe I’m real…” he said and Stiles gave him a bitter half-smile without answering.

After they stared at each other a while Stiles was hoisted from the tub and his feet were slowly lowered to the floor. Stiles had to hold onto that muscular shoulder to keep from falling on his face but he managed to keep upright. As he was dried off Stiles wrapped his hand around his bandage and pressed, feeling the stinging pain burn through him. Quickly his hand was pulled away and held in that big, warm, comforting grip. He wanted to lean into it but he just couldn’t.

“I need to get you some clothes.”

Stiles heart seemed to stop beating before jack-rabbiting into high gear, his eyes turning frantic as he turned to look at him. Just the thought that even this Derek was going to leave him made him ache in ways that shouldn’t even be possible. Not-Derek heard his hysterical heartbeat and saw the absolute panic in his face and quickly engulfed him with his arms, pulling his body against his own.

“Ok, calm down, I’m not going anywhere.”

It took longer than it should have for Stiles’ pulse and breathing to climb back to its normal levels. When it had he was still being held and gently rocked in this Derek’s grip. He relaxed slowly and leaned heavily against him, never wanting to forget this warmth and safety he made him feel.

“Let’s at least get you something warm to wear. You can come with me.”

Stiles nodded and he was picked up once more in his arms and quickly carried out of the bloodied bathroom and across the loft to the bed where he was set down on the cold sheets. He shivered and the blankets were immediately pulled over him. As soon as he was let go his hand shot out and wrapped around an arm.

“I don’t need clothes.” He whispered.

The solid arm in his hand felt so real and when that face leveled with his he felt his heart ache. “Why weren’t you here? I needed you.” He croaked as he held back is emotions.

“I didn’t mean to be gone that long. I screwed up, I’m sorry Stiles. Please believe me.”

Stiles shook his head, trying to keep the illusion that this wasn’t really Derek even though reality was starting to seep back into his muddled, half delusional brain.

“No, if I believe you it’ll just hurt worse when you’re really gone. When I have to go back to my dad’s after the storm and be all alone again.”

Derek yanked the covers back and slid into the bed alongside Stiles, covering his cold, naked body with his own clothed one. Stiles felt his entire body shiver and he ached so badly in that moment when Derek covered him. Derek’s face was in his, those green eyes so fierce they bordered on angry.

“I will _not_ leave you alone Stiles.” He growled and pushed his mouth against Stiles’ slightly parted lips he felt their teeth clack.

Stiles gave a strangled gasp and fisted his fingers into the back of Derek’s shirt. He turned his head ever so slightly and slotted their mouths together and the kiss turned into a wild, angry fight. There was nothing soft or gentle about this. This was Derek demanding that Stiles accept that he was there and he was staying or so help him he was going to damn them both.

“What will it take to get through to you?! I have no idea what I’m doing!” Derek growled harshly against his lips.

Stiles felt like there was a crack running throughout his entire body. Like his body had been frozen under ice and fire was yanking it apart. What the hell had been done to him? A wave of guilt flooded through him and he whimpered into Derek’s painful kiss.

“You used to be so strong Stiles. You never gave up. Why would you now?” Derek’s hands slid down his sides and gripped his hips harshly, leaving imprints in the skin.

“Derek!” Stiles’ gasped his name breathlessly, the sound barely above a whisper.

“I thought you needed to be treated gently but then I saw you… _this_!” he hissed and pulled Stiles’ left arm up to push it into his face as he backed up from the kiss.

Stiles knew he was crying by now but the tears were hot and angry. “I didn’t want to!” he cried loudly, yelling at Derek now.

“You never said anything!”

“Would you have listened?!”

“I would if I’d known!”

“Bullshit! You never gave a flying fuck about anything I said.” Stiles sobbed. “None of you did. After all I’d been through, none of you even looked at me.” His voice was quieting down now, sounding broken but alive. “I’m so fucked up Derek. So fucked.”

Derek glared down at him as Stiles’ face went from that awful pale to bright pink in anger. That was the color he liked to see on Stiles’ face.

“I never knew.” He whispered to him that bordered on a growl.

“Knew what? That I’m not as strong as I pretend to be? That I-I’m so messed up that I’m a complete mess?! ‘Cause yeah! You didn’t know! No one knew! No one _cared_ to know!”

Derek shook his head. “No. You’re right. I didn’t know. But you’re also _so_ wrong Stiles. I care. I’m not a monster.”

Stiles stilled beneath Derek, his chest heaving from yelling at him. “Then why didn’t you stay? I’m not just talking about last night. I’m talking about after all that shit had gone down with the Alphas? After I’d been fucked over by a fucking Nogitsune?! Did it even cross your mind that I might not be ok?”

“Yes but it also crossed my mind that you might not want me prying into what had happened.”

Stiles shook his head and looked away, hot tears still falling from his eyes. Suddenly he felt so exhausted.

 “You know what. Forget it. I don’t want to talk about that right now. What I do want to know is why you weren’t there this morning? You left me. Alone. Again.” He emphasized each word.

Derek sighed and nodded, shuffling off of Stiles and lying down beside him, his hands still on Stiles, pulling him towards him. Stiles went with him even though he still expected an answer.

“The storm cleared this morning just before dawn and I knew I only had a little bit of time before the storm came back. I thought you were going to be asleep for a while longer since you barely slept at night. I went to go see Scott and Isaac at Lydia’s to see what they’d found.” He paused and Stiles looked at him expectantly.

“And? Did they find anything useful?” Stiles prompted.

“Uh, well, kind of. There are two theories but one is definitely stronger than the other. If the storm lasts for another two days then we’ll know for sure.”

“Then why did it take so long for you to come back if that was all they had to tell you?”

Derek sighed and gazed up at the ceiling. “I went to check on your dad, Melissa, and Allison and as I was coming back the storm picked up again and I got caught in it.”

Stiles was barely breathing next to him as he realized what had happened. “You went to see my dad…” he paused for a second to swallow the lump in his throat. “I-is he ok? How’s he doing?”

Derek rubbed a soothing hand over his side. “He’s fine. He was wrapped up in a blanket, drinking a cup of hot cocoa and reading a magazine about guns when I looked in on him.”

Stiles relaxed completely and turned onto his side to bury his face into Derek’s shoulder. He felt a huge weight lift off of him and he sighed heavily before turning his face so his cheek was pressed against Derek.

“Thanks.” Wave after wave of guilt and anger and sadness washed through him. His arm was stinging and throbbing under the bandages and he pulled that arm behind his back, ashamed. “I…” he bit his lip and struggled to calm himself and find the right words, “I was…so stupid. I thought everything was just so…helpless.” He whispered. “I mean…when you left I just _knew_ you were disgusted and had to hate me by now. I’m…broken…and lifeless…and stupid and we’d done something like that and we’re both male and…ugh.”

“Yeah, you’re definitely all of those, but so am I.” Derek admitted gruffly. “I had no clue how to help you. I felt hopeless seeing you like that and knowing I couldn’t do anything.” He growled. “I’m don’t _do_ feelings.”

“Isn’t that true.” Stiles grumbled against his chest.

“It _is_ true. From now on you’ll tell me _exactly_ how you’re feeling and if I find out that you’ve lied to me I will be angry. I’ll be more than angry, I’ll be _pissed_. You do _not_ want me pissed.” Derek threatened.

Stiles swallowed thickly and nodded. “I don’t know if you could do anything that I haven’t already done to myself.”

“I can, and I will. There are worse things Stiles.” He said and only half as a threat.

In the past Stiles would have been snarky about something like that but with everything Derek had just shared with him about his helplessness and feelings there was no way he’d belittle him like that. So instead he just nodded and buried his face into Derek’s shoulder once more. The storm whistling outside was the only noise for a long while. The little bit of sun that’d been lighting the clouds finally disappeared and they were left in total darkness. After the dark had settled around them Stiles lifted his head and gazed up at Derek.

“Is it bad that I’m a guy? Is there any chance?” he whispered to him.

The beat between Stiles’ questions and Derek’s answers was so long that for a moment Stiles thought that he’d fallen asleep but then he shifted beneath him and they were both on their sides looking at each other.

“I’ve only ever been with females before, never males. I have no idea how I’ll do.”

Stiles shook his head and leaned their foreheads together. “As long as you don’t abandon me I’m fine with whatever happens.”

“What if I end up hurting you? What if _you_ end up hurting _me_?” Derek asks.

Stiles sighs and for a second he’s silent. “Well, I can’t guarantee that I won’t hurt you somehow but I’m sure that there’s no way you can hurt me more than I’ve already been hurt.” He whispers and presses his bandages against Derek’s arm that’s still around his middle.

Derek flinches but nods. “Ok. I can give this a try.”

“Ok.” Stiles says back and that’s all he’s asking for.

He would never ask Derek to commit himself to him because who knows what’s in store for them. Maybe someone will come along who’s not totally deranged and self-damaged who happens to catch Derek’s eye. The thought literally causes him pain as he suddenly clenches his left fist but he’ll deal with that if it comes to that.

“Can we just do this right, now? Like, start over? I’m pretty sure I fucked up all of this. Our first kiss was supposed to be really romantic and gentle and it’s definitely supposed to come before the hand-job.”

Derek finally cracks a faint smile at that. “I don’t think there’s any need to start over since this is just the way that things are. Let’s take it from here.” He says and pulls Stiles close and kisses him so softly, so sweetly that Stiles almost couldn’t believe that this was actually Derek. The same Derek that used to push him into walls and slam his head against steering wheels.

But it was the same Derek. The same Derek that had bathed him and clothed him and saved him from himself. Sure Stiles wasn’t all better and would definitely need some _serious_ help still, but, it’s the same Derek whose fingers had given him shivers and had held him until he’d slept. The same Derek whose hands felt like brands against his cold skin as he held onto him like he was falling to pieces. And that Derek was the one that was kissing him with lips that tasted like mint and the faint metallic taste of blood. He’s amazing.

Stiles pressed himself closer, his arms going around Derek’s shoulders as he’s turned onto his back once more, Derek’s weight settling softly over his. His lips are so soft in contrast to the slight scrape of stubble across his chin and nose as he presses deeper into the kiss, letting his mouth fall open when those lips give way to a probing tongue. The tremble that dances through his chest and down his spine makes him moan lightly. Derek answers with a not so quiet growl deep in his chest. Those wonderful fingers and hands that Stiles loves so much are dancing over his skin, down his sides, up his chest and over his stomach. Everywhere they can reach is touched and rubbed and Stiles feels his heart stutter with each fleeting sensation.

“I want this Stiles. Can I have this?” Derek asks excitedly into Stiles’ mouth.

The answering groan Stiles lets out is absolutely filthy yet Derek just keeps nipping at his lips and chin.

“I need an answer.” He growls sharply.

“Yes! Oh please, Derek, come on!” Stiles cries breathlessly.

“Good.” Derek rumbles and suddenly his mouth is everywhere on Stiles’ skin.

Those hot lips trail fire down his jaw and over his neck, sucking harsh marks into his pulse point before his tongue is darting out and laving over his collarbone. Stiles give a sharp yelp as slightly sharp teeth bite into the hollow of his collarbone. Derek is unforgiving as he nips and bites his way over Stiles’ skin. Stiles’ fingers flutter over Derek’s back uselessly before his need of Derek’s skin on his has him tugging and pulling at his shirt. There’s a rush of air between them as Derek sits up on his knees over Stiles and yanks his shirt over his head. Stiles should be embarrassed by the dirty moan that leaves his mouth but he’s too preoccupied with running his fingers over the hot skin on Derek’s abs.

Derek’s eyes are all over Stiles’ body. Even in the dark his pale skin practically glows and he can see every contour, every dark mole decorating his skin. He swears he can even see the dark flush atop his chest that spreads up his neck and tints his cheeks. When he’s done admiring the top half his eyes lick down his body until it gets to the growing need between Stiles’ thighs. His slender cock is filling up quick, throbbing as he hardens under Derek’s solid stare.

“Derek, hurry up!” Stiles yells and pulls on his hips to lower him once more to his body.

Derek grinds down onto Stiles and relishes in the bitten off cry. He wanted to take this slower at first but there’s no way that he can with those lewd cries Stiles keeps letting out.

“Do you believe I’m real now?” he growls.

Stiles pants and looks up into his face with shining honey eyes. “Get those pants off and I might.”

Derek bites back a groan and pushes his pants off with help from Stiles’ grabby hands. When those hands grasp each firm cheek and pull him forward to grind together he hisses and grabs the left one gently to pry it off of him and pin it against the pillow next to his disheveled hair.

“Let me.” He growls and Stiles practically writhes under him with impatience and anticipation.

Derek lets go of his hand and when it stays there like it should he leans back a little onto both knees and places his hands on Stiles’ knees. Looking him right in the eye he pulls his knees up and out from between Derek’s legs and slowly spreads them. Stiles pants and does his best not to force his legs shut. The intense look in Derek’s eyes has him squirming either to get away or to get closer he’s not sure. Then his eyes drift away from his and seem to devour his body until he’s staring intently at the hard cock nestled against the dark pubic hair at his groin. Stiles can’t help but do the same, his eyes darting to take in the sight of Derek’s thick, heavy cock jutting out from his hips.

Derek can smell the burst of precum from Stiles’ cock and looks up to see what’s caused it and feels a strong spark of pride as he sees his gaze alighted on his cock. The salty headiness fills the air and makes him twitch which doesn’t go unnoticed by Stiles.

“Quit staring. Either touch me or let me touch you.”

Derek shifts forward on his knees until the front of his thighs touch the back of Stiles’ and he pushes his legs farther up until Stiles is bent almost in half and Derek can see the wink of Stiles’ pucker between his pale ass cheeks.

“Where do you want me to touch you?” Derek asks lowly.

“A-anywhere.” Stiles mutters back, his hips twitching.

Derek gives him a small smirk before lowering him back to the bed and putting his feet back onto the sheets. Stiles groans in disappointment that makes Derek chuckle.

“You’re a tease. You’re teasing me! Hey, where are you going?”

Derek shushes him quickly with a fast, heady kiss which distracts him long enough afterwards that he can lean over and slide the drawer of his nightstand open and rifle around the back until his fingers touch the cold plastic tube of lube. He doesn’t bother closing the drawer and sets himself back between Stiles legs.

Stiles’ heart is pounding a mile a minute as he watches Derek flick the lid of the lube open and can feel himself twitch in eagerness. He wraps his fingers around his cock and strokes like he remembers Derek doing to him the night before and groans where Derek stops to watch him. His fingertip massages his slit that oozes precum and has to drown out a moan with a bite to his lip. Derek’s mouth is on his faster than he could comprehend and his hand was being knocked aside and replaced with a hot, slick one. Immediately he bucks up into his hand and lets out a loud whine into his mouth. Derek can’t hold back the low moan in response that gets lost in the kiss.

“F-faster.” Stiles manages to breathe out and feels his hand speed just a fraction.

There’s suddenly something hotter than Derek’s hand pressing against his dick and he immediately knows what it is. He lets out a strangled grown and wraps his legs around Derek’s waist and pulls him closer. The hand wraps around the both of them and strokes the opposite direction of their undulating hips. Stiles can’t help but make filthy noises into Derek’s mouth and he just eats them up, pressing his tongue against his lips and slides against his tongue, practically wringing the sounds from him.

“Close. Stiles.” Derek huffs as he breaks the wet kiss.

Stiles nods frantically since words seem to be failing him and grips onto Derek’s biceps. Their hips thrust together faster, Derek’s hand gripping tighter and suddenly they’re cumming. Derek cums first, hot spurts of spunk landing messily on Stiles stomach which has Stiles cumming right after him, clenching tightly around him as he shoots his own load alongside Derek’s. They collapse together onto the bed, Derek falling to the side so he doesn’t squish Stiles. Their orgasmic bliss lasts longer than it had the night before and Stiles sighs when Derek pulls him to his body and runs a finger through their combined mess.

“You smell good.” Derek says suddenly.

Stiles can’t help the bubble of laughter that springs to his lips at the unexpected comment. “Uh, thanks? Is that really weird pillow talk?”

Derek shakes his head. “No, I mean it. You smell good. You smell like me.” He says and buries his nose into Stiles’ neck.

“Is this a werewolf thing?”

“Um, I don’t know. I’ve never cum on someone before.”

Stiles hums his acknowledgement and can’t help but feel a sense of smugness. “Good to know.”

Derek nods and sighs into his skin as he rubs the mess into Stiles’ skin. They stay like that until the cum starts to dry, leaving them slightly sticky, slightly crusty, and more than slightly uncomfortable. There’s no need to say anything, there’s just a sort of mutual agreement and Derek climbs over Stiles and the covers that had been thrown to the end of the bed and then off the side of the bed.

“I’ll be right back ok? Promise. Just getting some water, food, and a washcloth.”

Stiles gulps silently but nods anyways, trusting Derek to come back this time. He watches him leave with anxious eyes and follows his movement first to the bathroom and feels relief flood him when he comes back out with a damp washcloth. He takes the washcloth and slowly starts cleaning up the mess on his stomach and dick as he watches intently as Derek disappears up the stairs. There’s a sick feeling of apprehension as he waits for Derek to reappear. He manages to get himself completely cleaned off and pulls the covers back up the bed to cover his rapidly cooling body. A slow tendril of panic makes its way into his mind when five minutes have passed and Derek still hasn’t returned.

“Um, Derek?” he calls softly into the dark.

“I’m still here Stiles!” Derek calls back down and immediate relief floods Stiles and he slumps back against the pillows.

Derek’s footsteps are loud in the almost quiet room, only broken by the sound of wind and sleet against the window. When Derek has set the food and water on the nightstand and had crawled back into bed Stiles snakes his arms around his waist and presses his face into Derek’s side. A hand combs through his messy hair and he sighs.

“I told you I wouldn’t be long.”

“Yeah. Sorry.” Stiles mumbles and nuzzles into him.

Derek pushes him off slightly to grab the food and hands it to Stiles. “Eat then drink then sleep. In that order.”

“What, I can’t drink then eat?”

Derek gives him a withering look that Stiles gives a sheepish smile in return to before taking a bite of his butter sandwich. It felt good settling into his empty stomach and surprisingly it only took him three more bites to finish it and wanting another. But instead of asking he simply took the bottle of water and chugged two big mouthfuls before sighing and handing it back.

“Thanks.”

“No problem. Go to sleep.”

Stiles didn’t argue with the command and once Derek had settled in beside him he pressed his naked body to Derek’s and sighed in contentment.

“Just…be there when I wake up, ok?” he says quietly when he feels sleep slowly starting to crawl over him.

“I will be. Sleep now, talk later.”

“Ok.”

Stiles is out faster than he’s been in months and Derek lays there holding him, satisfaction settling over him. That night Stiles sleeps completely through the night with no dreams and surprisingly no nightmares.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

Stiles wakes up warm and comfortable. It’s such a strange sensation that he jolts awake completely and his wide eyes stare straight into Derek’s sleeping face. Everything is frozen inside of him for a bit before relief floods through him, washing away the surprise. He hadn’t expected Derek to be there like he’d said last night. It was certainly nice though, having him there, warm underneath his fingertips. Derek was still sound asleep and Stiles took this time to carefully trace the smooth lines of his pectorals and collarbones with his fingers, loving how the skin seemed to tight and smooth over those solid muscles. A twitch ran through Derek’s arms and suddenly Stiles was pulled to Derek’s body in a crushing embrace. For a second Stiles thought he was still asleep but then a gush of warm breath washed over his scalp as Derek exhaled and yawned.

“Um, good morning.” Stiles mumbled awkwardly, not sure how to face Derek since it was their first time waking up together after a situation like last night.

“Mm, morning.” Derek grumbled and lay there for a few moments more before sighing and letting Stiles go.

The bed dipped and bounced under them as Derek scooted slowly out from under the covers and over to the edge. Stiles watched as he went, staring at his broad back before he stood up and then he was staring at his ass. Derek, heedless of his nakedness, crossed the cold floor and peeled back the edge of the blanket to look outside. From the sound of the wind and the darkness of the sky the storm was obviously still in full swing and Derek’s frustrated sigh and slight grumble confirmed it.

“So, no going out today?” Stiles asked as he sat up as well, pulling the blanket with him as he went since it was too cold for him to be bare.

“Nope. Hungry?”

Stiles nodded before he realized Derek’s back was still facing him. “Uh, yeah. I can get it myself though.”

Stiles pulled the blanket with him as he left the bed, leaving the comforter behind as he set his feet upon the frigid ground. Derek didn’t wait for him as he went up the stairs and when he got up there the bread and butter had already been pulled out and a slice of nearly thawed steak sat beside the stove. Derek was rooting around in the drawers for a clean knife and Stiles gently pulled the bread towards him and undid the twist tie to pull a slice out. A butter knife clattered on the counter beside him and he jumped, his eyes darting up to Derek’s face. He looked like he usually did, if not a little grumpy and Stiles could only hope that it was because he wasn’t a morning person and not that he’d caused that grimace.

Trying to move as quick as possible without causing a bunch of movement Stiles quickly buttered his bread, tied the bag shut, and had everything back in the freezer before Derek’s steak had even begun to sizzle. He sat at the table and tore off mini bites as he watched Derek anxiously. For some reason an uneasy feeling had made its way into his gut as he watched Derek’s silent, quick movements. He’d barely talked to Stiles, hadn’t looked at him, and seemed to be ignoring him. Stiles quickly shook his head and turned away from Derek. He was definitely over-thinking things. These feelings that were coming back were simply confusing him. The negativity that had surrounded him for so long was coming back to him in place of the emptiness he’d replaced it with.

“When I went to see the others yesterday they managed to find some useful information about what could be going on.” Derek said suddenly.

Stiles jumped and quickly swallowed the bite in his mouth. “Do they know what’s causing the storm?”

Derek nodded and flipped the steak and the sizzling filled the silence for a bit before he spoke again. “They think something called a Zduhać is trying to bury the town.”

“Bury the town.” Stiles repeated and frowned in thought. “Bury it in snow? That wouldn’t work, this is California. There’s too much sun here…usually.”

“The rain and wind was meant to destroy and wash it away and the snow was to bury everything left but the buildings are too strong for that. Lydia says that in the next few days if the snow becomes solid ice then we’re definitely dealing with a Zduhać.”

“What happens when the snow turns to ice?”

“Then the winds will begin to swirl and a tornado like storm will rip everything apart. Buildings are definitely not meant to withstand that.”

Stiles was silent for a bit as he thought about the horror and devastation that would bring. “Did you find out how to stop it?”

Derek shook his head and flipped his steak onto a plate and left the fire on to heat the room before sitting down at the table with him. “They’re still looking. There were a dozen other names that involved the Zduhać such as Vetrovnjak, vilovit, and oblačar.”

Stiles didn’t even try to repeat those names and just nodded. “How will we get in touch with them again when they figure it out?”

“There are snow vehicles all over the roads out there despite the storm moving the snow out of the roads. They’re going to bring the Jeep back here as soon as they know how to take care of that thing.”

Stiles finished his bread and sat there with his knees pulled up until Derek had finished devouring his meat. He still hadn’t looked at Stiles but he was trying not to dwell on that. He’d spoken to him after all. Once Derek was finished the scooted their chairs around the small flame still at the stove and Stiles warmed his frozen digits next to the fire. The silence feels awkward to him and he can’t help but shift around nervously in his chair. He’s close to Derek but for some reason he feels so far away. When he steals a glance at him he’s leaning against the counter away from him, his head turned away and looking out the half unblocked window over the stove.

“D-does…um…does being away from the others during the storm make you edgy?” Stiles couldn’t help but ask.

Derek looks at him, a little surprise filtering through the grumpy mask for a second before it slips back into place. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

Stiles stares at him as if there’s more but Derek just looks back out the window. There’s a sharp throb to Stiles’ heartbeat and he tries to cover it with a tilt in his chair and a cough. The lapse in conversation eventually stops being uncomfortable and Stiles just accepts it as inevitable. What was he to expect from Derek in the first place? He wasn’t really a talker and Stiles was sure he probably felt awkward after what had happened between them twice now. They’d only talked about it a little bit so there were no clear boundaries and how would he bring this whole thing up in the first place?

Stiles kept his thoughts to himself so he didn’t weird Derek out even more than he probably already did.  The fire eventually died down and Derek got up and started shuffling towards the stairs without a word to Stiles. He just watched him go. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to feel about this. Even before his cutting and everything that’d happened he’d never had a sexual encounter with anyone so he didn’t know how he was supposed to act, how clingy he was supposed to be, or what to even say to the other person so he just watched as he left, leaving him alone in the cooling room.

The loss of the fire drastically changed the temperature in the room and soon Stiles was sneezing and sniffing as he pulled the blanket tighter around him. Surely Derek must have heard that but he didn’t say anything and he didn’t come up to check on Stiles. After so many days of the storm the sound had slowly been pushed to the back of his mind but now that he’d become slightly more aware of what was going on around him he listened to the howling and couldn’t help but compare it to the sound of a wolf’s own howl. Was the thing creating the storm hurting? Did it need help and was creating this storm as a plea? Or maybe it was actually roaring. Maybe it was angry and hated everything, growling to drown out any other noise that this city made. Stiles didn’t know but the thinking kept him occupied until hours seemed to have passed by completely.

The sudden sound of footsteps on metal rang up to him and startled him out of his reverie. Derek popped his head into the kitchen and stared at Stiles who stared back in bewilderment. They both seemed at a loss for words in this sudden lock until Derek slowly stepped through the doorway and shifted uncomfortably, looking away from Stiles and staring at the wall.

“Um, you hadn’t moved or anything since I’d left so I thought that maybe you were doing that…thing again.” He said awkwardly.

“Thing?” Stiles asked, confused.

“Yeah, you stare at nothing and you smell like nothing and it freaks everyone out.”

A quick stitch of pain jolted through his chest and he just stared at Derek for a second before he lowers his gaze away from him and to the floor.

“Oh, uh, no. I’m fine. Sorry for making you come up here.” He said quietly and turned back around in his seat to stare at the dead charcoal.

“You didn’t make me do anything.” Derek growled at the same time the winds whistled. “Come downstairs. The bed’s warmer than the rooms.” He commanded and he was gone again.

Stiles almost stayed there simply to spite him but he still didn’t have that spark back in him to argue or disobey him. After he couldn’t hear his footsteps on the stairs any longer he stood up and gathered the blanket closely around him and scooted his feet across the room and down the stairs. Derek was already under the covers of the bed and he paused for a second, looking at the couch quickly before he caught Derek giving him an expectant look. Sheepishly he hunched his shoulders and scurried over to the bed to crawl from the foot over to the headrest and huddled there with his knees to his chest on the far side away from Derek.

Derek paid him no heed and continued to bury his nose in his newest book. Stiles could only see a few pages having been turned and knew he’d just started it when he’d gotten back from grabbing Stiles. He guessed that’d the only reason he’d bothered coming up in the first place was because he’d finished a book and had looked up long enough to realize Stiles hadn’t been there. Stiles heaved a sigh and leaned up against the pillows and started looking around the loft. There wasn’t anything for him to do. He doubted Derek would let him borrow a book and the paper he’d been folding before held no interest to him. He turned to Derek and opened his mouth, braving against the silence.

“So…how’d you get the power back on?”

“Generator.” Came the gruff answer.

Stiles nodded and pursed his lips as he turned away from him again. He waited a few more minutes before turning to him again.

“What about the water? Aren’t the pipes frozen?”

“Still the generator.”

“Just for the loft?”

“No.”

“If the power’s back on why didn’t we use it for breakfast?”

“Waste of energy.”

Stiles paused for a moment as Derek grit his teeth but then he turned his page so he figured it was just because of what was in the book.

“So the other people have power and water too?”

“Yes Stiles! Can’t you see that I’m reading?!” Derek snarled as he snapped his book shut and jerked his head to glare at Stiles.

Stiles shrunk back. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.” He whispered quickly and moved off the pillows to the absolute edge.

“Just...don’t bug me.”

Derek waved his book towards Stiles before leaning back onto the pillows again and reopening his book to the page he’d been on and resuming his reading with a slightly furrowed brow. Stiles’ heart was pounding in his chest but he didn’t like this feeling at all. This was fear and sadness and pain and he hated it. He hated himself. The wounds under the bandages on his left arm was really hurting and he realized he was half laying on it when he’d cringed away from Derek and quickly righted himself. There weren’t any blood stains on the bandages so he figured they’d stayed closed but the tugging of the scabs was painful.

 Looking towards the bathroom he wondered if Derek had cleaned up. Had his blood stained? When he made a move to go and check Derek’s arm snapped out and held him down. Stiles jerked his head over to look from his arm to his face in surprise. Derek’s face was stern bordering on murderous.

“Wh-what?! What’d I do?!” Stiles asked quickly, drawing back.

“What were you about to do?”

“Um, go to the bathroom? I haven’t really gone in days you know. Nothing to get rid of and now I do. Can I go or not?”

Stiles suddenly really wanted to be away from Derek. He didn’t understand what was going on with him, why he was ignoring him, why he was suddenly looking at him like that…like he hated him.

“Fine. Make it quick.” He growled and let go of him like he burned him.

Stiles scrambled out from under his blanket and darted to the bathroom and slammed the door and locked it behind him. He slumped against the door and reached up to flick the light on. When the light flickered on above him he gasped in horror at the sight in front of him. Derek hadn’t been able to clean up after what had happened last night. Dried and crusty blood was smeared over the entire ground where they’d struggled. His own bloody handprints were dragged along the stark white walls making the contrast even more horrifying. There were footprints next to the tub and blood on the edge. The toilet looked relatively unharmed since it was right next to the door but even then there were a couple of droplets on top of the lid. A glint at the base caught his eye and he realized that his blade must have gotten tossed there in the fray.

Quickly he darted forward and his fingers closed around the handle. It was cold and dark with the heavy color of dried blood. The blade was spotted with the rusty flecks and smears and when he clicked it out a bit farther he realized he couldn’t continue with Derek’s superior senses right on the other side of the door. He got up off the floor and opened the lid of the toilet and pulled the front of his pants down to do what he’d actually said and as the splash of his pee started in the toilet he clicked the blade out silently.

The blade glinted cleanly at the base of the knife and quickly he finished up what he was doing so he could flush and sit on the top of the toilet. He only had a bit of time before Derek would wonder what he was doing so without pausing to really think about it or appreciate it held the cutter in his left and pressed it to the inside of his right wrist. Since it was his non dominant hand the pressure was a little off and didn’t give him anything near the satisfaction he needed. Again he pressed it to his skin and dragged it again, applying more pressure and finally the sweet bite of newly broken skin washed through him and he sighed in relief. The anger and fear and sadness he’d felt at Derek’s rejection seemed to wash right out of him just like that and he could breathe easier once again.

“Stiles! Hurry up!”

Stiles jumped as he pressed the blade to his skin once more and caused the blade to impale his skin. This bite of the blade wasn’t quite as pleasant as the others had been and the wound immediately began to drip blood quickly. Cursing silently he quickly got up from the toilet lid and turned the cold water in the sink on full blast, tossing the blade under the spray immediately.

“Uh, yeah! I’m fine! Everything’s good! No need to worry! Just…go back to reading!” he said quickly, trying to drown out the noise of the cutter as he clicked the now clean blade back into place.

Quickly he wrapped the blade in toilet paper and stuck it behind the toilet so it could both dry and be hidden. Next he went back to the running water and washing his fresh cuts free of blood and as soon as those were taken care of he grabbed a bunch of toilet paper to begin wrapping his wrist. The paper kept breaking and unable to keep his frustration at bay he cursed violently under his breath.

 Forceful pounds on the door made him jump again quickly unrolling the toilet paper frantically. “Just a second!” he yelled.

“Stiles! Open this door!” Derek yelled beyond the wood and the handle started rattling as it was being tugged on.

“Please just hold on! I’m almost done!”

The toilet paper just wasn’t wrapping and now his wrist was bleeding again and Derek’s pounding made the pounding in his chest even more frantic. When the wood of the door screamed and finally cracked around the handle, giving way, Stiles just dropped to the floor and started sobbing. The toilet paper was a mess in his hands and it did nothing to hide what he’d done. Tears of frustration and fear and anger and sadness left him in sobs. Derek stood there over him like a looming shadow of judgment and all he could do was slump there on the floor and let his head fall forward as he sobbed loudly and brokenly.

“St…Stiles.” Derek could hardly say his name as he took in the pathetic form before him.

Stiles’ sobbing hit him like an anvil straight to his heart and it felt like he was breaking with him. Slowly, unable to really grasp the whole situation he took a step towards that shaking body. Stiles smelled different than anything he’d ever smelled on him before. There was pain like a bitter scent, sadness smelled salty and watered down, fear was a sharp pang of sourness in his nose but all together it was a horrid mix of defeat. Stiles just…gave up.

Knees collapsed into Stiles’ blurry vision and it registered that Derek had fallen beside him. Giant, warm hands pulled his and he didn’t even have the strength to protest or accept those hands. Derek didn’t know what to do. Stiles wasn’t responding to him. His emotions didn’t change or even register the fact that Derek was there.

Quickly he reached over Stiles and pulled open the cabinet under the sink and grabbed the first aid kit and tugged the still bleeding wrist over to him and carefully withdrew the toilet paper stuck to the drying blood. Some places caught and tugged open the scab and still the scent didn’t change. Was Stiles in so much pain that this little bit didn’t even register or was he so far gone that he didn’t care? It worried Derek like he hadn’t been worried in so long. Once his wrist was bandaged he moved to the left one and tugged the old bandages off and cleaned the terrible wounds once again before applying the healing salve and bandages once more.

“Stiles.” Derek said carefully, finally saying something to him. “Stiles, what happened?”

Stiles shook his head and turned his shameful face away from Derek’s. He didn’t need Derek seeing him like this anymore. There was only so much humiliation, judgment, and exposure a person could take. If Derek hated him now it was his entire fault. He felt Derek draw back away from him and if possible the pain he felt like a physical thing in his heart seemed to tear through him anew.

“Look, I have no idea what you want from me! I see and sense you suffering and I have no idea what I’m supposed to do! What do you want?! I’ll never know unless you say something! Stiles!”

The absolute desperation in Derek’s voice startled him and brought him back from his utter despair enough to lift his head and stare at Derek’s pained face.

“I don’t want you to hate me.” He pleaded and sobbed again. “I can’t…I can’t do that anymore. You hating me. It hurts. Every single time I realize it it’s like a new wound. Please!” Stiles gasped loudly, pleading like his life depended on it, which it might.

Derek seemed taken aback. “I don’t hate you!”

Stiles made a pained face. “Of course you do. You ignore me and yell at me and think I’m totally obnoxious and I can see you want nothing to do with me. Why did you do those things to me if you were just going to take it all back? Did you change your mind? I want to do all these things with you and that just makes it hurt worse! Why would you make me feel these things?!” Stiles ranted and for a second Derek was reminded of the previous Stiles, the hyper-active, motor-mouth Stiles that he was so used to and actually missed.

“Stiles, calm down. I do _not_ hate you. I’m confused and worried and have no idea how to handle this and that makes me do things I don’t mean to. I didn’t mean to snap at you earlier or ignore you. I was caught up in thinking about what I could possibly do to make this better but _nothing_ came to mind. I just…can’t do the whole ‘comfort’ thing. I’ve never been good at it.” Derek pauses to sigh and swipe a hand over his suddenly tired face. “I…don’t know what to do Stiles. Can you not see that I’m having a hard time with this too? I don’t know what caused it and I don’t know how to fix it and there’s nothing I can research like all the other times we’ve had problems.”

Derek seemed winded after so much talking and for a split second Stiles was a little surprised that he’d even been able to get that much out all at once but it was quickly replaced with the sorrow burrowed in his chest.

“I already told you before! Being left alone, being ignored, being through all this shit with nobody else! My mind _and_ body have taken this toll that I don’t think I can take! You being all emotionally constipated makes it even worse!” Stiles pushes himself against the wall and grabs his hair with both hands as if that was the only thing he could hold on to. “Then there’s all these… _feelings_! I have a fucking man-crush on you or something and it fucking sucks!”

Derek slowly sat next to him, his shoulder just barely out of reach of Stiles’. “Um, I don’t like being vulnerable. After…Kate…”

“I don’t want to hear about your failed love life. I’m not Kate! I will _never_ be Kate! She was some psycho bitch that murdered your family by using your feelings but when have I _ever_ done anything even remotely _close_ to that?! Can’t you have _some_ form of trust?!”

“No Stiles! I can’t! I don’t know if I ever can! The hunters, the Argents, the _humans_! They’ve never been trustworthy and suddenly here _you_ are and Allison an _Argent_! How am I supposed to take this?! Because if you have any idea what so ever then I would gladly accept! So far the only thing that’s happened from trusting humans is my family being ripped away from me and my _feeling_ being so destroyed that there’s nothing left!” Derek yelled back at him.

“Then why didn’t you ever tell anyone how you felt about _that_?! Scott, Isaac, _me_?! We listen! Well, they listen. I guess I’m pretty obnoxious.” Stiles paused as he thought about that. “Now I feel like a hypocrite. Great. Just fucking great.”

“No Stiles. I asked. I want to know what’s going on. How you’re feeling. I want to know all of it. If it means that you’ll get better I’m willing to do anything.” Stiles snapped his head over to his and he quickly amended. “Almost anything. I won’t…kill anyone I if I can help it. Does your dad know about this?”

“I hope not. I did my best to keep it from him and it was only your extreme unluckiness and werewolfy senses that alerted you to any of this.” Stiles muttered and ran his fingers through his hair before finally letting go and heaving a huge sigh. “This isn’t just going to get better you know? I still feel like the only relief I can get is from the knife.” Tears ran down his face again.

“Stiles.” His uttered name sounded like it pained Derek greatly. “I don’t actually know why. I don’t understand the relief through pain. I understand control through pain so…maybe?”

Stiles nodded and ducked his head. “I just…can’t Derek.”

Derek’s name fell from his name in a whisper and Derek couldn’t help but shiver. He never wanted to hear his name uttered in such pain again.

“How can _I_ make it better? I’m not good at comforting or anything.” He said, holding his hands out palm up to indicate his helplessness.

Stiles turned to him slowly, his face turning up to look into Derek’s so he could see the redness of his crying eyes and the track from his tears. Derek wanted to wipe them away…so he did. Reaching up with one hand carefully, hesitantly, he drew his thumb across the underside of Stiles eye and when he leaned into the touch he felt a smidgen of relief.

“Just…I…want you. Derek…I want you like, I don’t even know. I want you to hold me and kiss me and tell me it’s going to be alright. I want you to make me believe I’m not as fucked up as I am.”

Derek lifted both his hands and tugged on Stiles’ shoulders and pulled his thin body to his chest and wrapped his arms around him. “If it’s that much I can do it.” He whispered against Stiles’ head and felt him respond.

Stiles felt his tears stop at the sudden surprise of the embrace before the intense emotions of relief and desire and longing washed over him and he cried out into Derek’s chest and clung to him tightly.

“Derek, Derek, Derek.” He chanted his name as he sobbed and buried himself in the warmth of Derek.

“I’m here.”

Those two words were all that he needed and his entire body responded, throwing itself at Derek. Those few inches that had still separated them no longer existed and Stiles was pulled up into Derek’s lap and he wrapped his legs around his waist. It wasn’t sexual in any way but it comforted him so immensely. The solidity of Derek’s body beneath him, the warm shoulder he was crying into, the soft hair his fingers trailed up into and clutched at as he shook, it anchored Stiles. All the while Derek was shushing him gently as if he were a small pup and not a full grown male. He didn’t feel like a full grown male though so he guessed it was ok.

It took a while but eventually his sobs subsided and he was left clutching weakly at Derek’s body with aching arms. His wrists burned but the burn felt good as well as the fluttering in his chest. Shivers gently wracked him every now and then. As he slowly came back down from his high of crying he realized just how Derek was holding him. Those large, warm hands were stroking up and down his spine and he smiled ever so slightly. Derek pets him whenever they were connected like this. It felt good.

“You ok now?” Derek’s gruff voice whispered into his ear.

“Yeah. Thanks.” Stiles sniffed and hugged him tighter.

Derek’s arms circled his torso completely and held him just as tightly as Stiles did and the overwhelming amount of satisfaction that brought Stiles astounded him. After a bit he started to pull back and Derek’s arms slid away, allowing the movement but when he went to climb off of Derek those strong hands held him in place by his waist.

“You’re not fucked up.” He whispered, his mouth just centimeter’s from Stiles’.

The breath hitched in his chest a second before those smooth, warm lips brushed against his and he was being kissed softly by Derek. The kiss was chaste and gentle, their lips barely moving but it was the absolute best feeling in the world. Those longed-for lips were finally on his. Stiles wanted to pull Derek’s head back when he began pulling away but he just couldn’t.

“Anything else?”

“Uhm…” Stiles couldn’t drag his gaze away from those beautiful lips that should definitely still be on his.

Said lips tilted up at the corners ever so slightly and when he looked up amusement danced briefly in those deep green eyes.

“I can do that.” Derek answered his unspoken need and replaced his lips on Stiles’.

Stiles gave a small whimper that came unwanted from the back of his throat and the kiss was no longer soft. It was hard and fast, the lips taking and taking and _taking_. Stiles took and took and took in return. The scent of Derek filled his nose and intoxicated him, getting him drunk on his taste and touch and just _Derek_. His tongue peaked out; chasing the come and go of Derek’s lips until finally the smooth strength of Derek’s tongue tenderly touched his and chased it back into his mouth.

“Mng. Derek.” Stiles whined into his mouth and pulled his arms tighter around Derek’s neck where they’d slid up from his chest.

Derek’s answer was to wrap his arms once more around Stiles’ back and pull him so tightly against him Stiles could feel every ridge of muscle behind the layers of cloth between them.

“W-want to touch you…” Stiles couldn’t help but groan out.

“Then do it.” Derek growled against his lips and sucked his tongue into his mouth before letting it go with a pop.

Stiles had to wriggle back on his lap to put a hand between them and tugged the edge of his shirt up just enough to slip his hand underneath and feel the burning heat of skin underneath. Stiles groaned and nibbled on his bottom lip which earned him a small growl. His hand skimmed across the hard plains of clenching muscle, up from his abdomen to his pectorals. He so wanted to use both hands to explore every bit of Derek.

“N-not here.” He gasped out and immediately he felt himself being lifted.

Hands slid down his back and gripped the back of his thighs and Derek’s strong thighs worked underneath them, picking them up off the bloodied floor easily. Stiles held on with his one arm as he continued stroking up Derek’s moving muscles. His thumb caught a nipple as they walked past the ruined door and felt more than heard Derek’s chest rumble in response. Suddenly he was dropped onto the bed and he whined as he was detached from the body he so craved.

“Derek, less clothes.” He demanded breathlessly.

Quickly he put both hands under Derek’s shirt before it was tugged away and felt those glorious muscles work as he lifted his arms and removed the clothing, tossing it onto the pillow they weren’t occupying.

“How far can we go?” Stiles asked quietly, almost afraid of the answer.

“How far do you want to go?” Derek asked just as cautiously.

“Um…” Stiles bit his lip. “I don’t want to just ask for everything. I think it’s too soon for that.”

“Then we don’t have to go all the way. We’ll just get off for today.”

Stiles nodded and lifted his head towards Derek’s again, begging for a kiss and was rewarded just as eagerly. Slowly they managed to strip themselves, only separating when absolutely needed. The first touch of heated flesh against heated flesh sent a hot shiver through the both of them and Stiles lifted his hips to get more. Derek’s arm wrapped around his waist and pulled him into his body slowly, undulating their hips together.

“Oh, Derek!” Stiles gasped loudly when his large hand grasped them together and rubbed smoothly over tender skin.

“St…”

“Derek! Dude, we found it! The Zud-thingy’s…What The Hell?!” Scott’s voice echoed through the loft as he slammed the metal door aside and stomped in.

Faster than Stiles could comprehend the both of them were covered by a blanket and the warmth of skin had been removed from atop him. His head snapped to the side to see Scott followed by Isaac just standing there frozen in the doorway, one foot barely over the threshold. They all seemed to be at a loss as to what to do until finally Isaac stepped around Scott and awkwardly looked everywhere but at them.

“Um, so…yeah. It’s the Zud-thingy that’s causing the storm.” He said with as much forced nonchalance as he could muster as he went to drop papers onto the desktop.

Stiles pulled the blankets closer as he felt embarrassment fill him. He was sure that Derek had a fair amount of embarrassment running through him too even as he forced himself to move. Quickly he was clothed and out of the bed as Stiles just laid there glaring at Scott who was still too shocked to do much but stare between the two of them as he made his way over to the desk as well.

“Scott, you were saying?” Derek prompted as if nothing had happened.

Stiles would’ve felt bad if Derek hadn’t thrown a quick, gentle look at him before glaring murderously at Scott. Scott frowned before shaking his head and Stiles knew this wasn’t the end of it but at least it’d been postponed. There was no way he was getting out of this bed so he just lay there and listened to the others as the conversed on the Zud-thingy as they all seemed to be calling it now.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Scott spread out the pages on the desk and started putting them into order while Stiles laid back and watched Derek’s stiff back lean over the desk. Isaac had made it a point by now that he was going to stare a hole into the papers while Scott began talking.

“So we finally found how to stop the Zud-thingy. It’s too hard to pronounce the actual word so I’m just going to stick with that. These pages here and here,” he says pointing to two of the papers and pushing them towards Derek, “have information on what the Zud-thing is. These three pages describe ways to kill or banish it, and these two pages are on the creatures that are similar to it.” He separated the pages and crossed his arms, looking proud of himself although Stiles was sure he’d either slept or ate the entire time Lydia and Isaac searched for the information.

Derek picked up the first of the two sheets shoved at him and started reading through it. After a bit he sighed and put them down again. “This barely makes any sense. It just says that men with supernatural abilities have the power to drive them away. What kind of supernatural powers? Can werewolves do it or does it have to be human?” Derek asks, frustrated.

Stiles makes a small ‘hmph’ sound as he thinks about what Derek says and suddenly all three eyes are staring at him. “What?”

“Maybe you should look over these. You’ve always been good at things like these.”

Derek turns from the table and leans over the end of the bed to pass the papers to Stiles who stretches his hand out to grab them. The cover slips over his chest and he would have been startled by the glare if it hadn’t accompanied a quick sniff and the complete focus on his exposed nipple. Stiles couldn’t help but blush and pull himself back under the blankets once he had his fingers wrapped around the papers’ edges. Derek quickly pulls back and grabs a random page off the desk as Stiles starts reading.

After a while of skimming through the pages he nods and tilts them down to look at everyone. “So do you want to kill him or banish him? I see two options here and both look equally difficult.”

Scott opens his mouth, thinks about it, and snaps his mouth closed again. Stiles stares at Derek since Isaac doesn’t look like he could choose between chocolate or vanilla ice cream at the moment. Derek sighs and waves at hand at the pages.

“Well, what do we have to do for both?”

Stiles holds the pages back up to his face. “Well, to banish him we’d have to find his body, cleanse and seal it using various different purification herbs and,” Stiles pauses to read the paragraph better, “um, well, we’d have to coax the lifted spirit from either it’s body or from the storm and drive it into another plain and seal the body so it can’t return. There’s also banishing it into a sealed container and we’d still have to seal the body.” Stiles paused to look up at them to make sure they were paying attention before switching pages. “To kill it we’d have to find the source of its power and destroy it with a blessed moonstone. I guess that’s why we’d need a supernatural dude.”

Stiles lays down the papers in front of him on the blankets before turning his steady gaze back to the others. “Well, what do you suggest?”

“It would probably be easier and safer to kill it. Sealing it would require materials we don’t have.” Derek said lowly.

“We don’t have a blessed moonstone either though.”

“They’re not really that uncommon. My mom had one in a ring she wore on her thumb.” Stiles said calmly. “But that’s not the hard part. The hard part is finding the source of its power and destroying it. Also blessing the moonstone. How would someone do that?”

They all frowned and Scott let out a frustrated sigh and ran a hand through his unruly hair before stalking over to the couch and flopping down onto it. Isaac stared at him for a bit before following and huffing as he sat down next to him. Derek simply stood there, back still unnaturally stiff and his arms crossed over his broad chest. Stiles was aware that he was still naked and pulled the blankets tighter. Since no one was answering him he simply nodded and continued.

“So, right now what has the most power?” he says calmly and the others look at him again. “I’d say the Nemeton, you guys, Deaton, maybe his sister. I don’t even know.” He sighs.

“Deaton! He could bless the moonstone! Maybe he’d know where the thing is too!” Scott suddenly said and jumped up from the couch.

Stiles looked at Isaac and noticed his eyes follow him before he too stood up. There was something going on there but Stiles just filed that away for later when they weren’t dealing with a storm demon trying to bury the town.

“That’s a good idea. Scott, you think you could get over to the animal clinic in this storm? It’s kind of far.” Derek said doubtfully.

Hearing the doubt in his voice Scott puffed up his chest. “Of course I can do it. I’ve got Isaac to go with me, right Isaac?”

Isaac perked up at his name. “Huh? Yeah, totally. I’ll go with you.”

“Maybe you should wait until morning though. It’s probably going to get dark soon.” Derek suggested and Stiles froze as he thought through that option.

“Hey Derek, come here a sec. Scott can you and Isaac get me something to eat real quick? I’m totally starved.”

All three gave him a weird look but Stiles was concentrating on Derek again. Scott stared at him hard and he tried not to think about the questions that he knew would come later.

“Yeah, sure dude, whatever.”

As soon as Scott and Isaac were up the stairs Stiles waved frantically for Derek to get his ass over there. Once Derek had leaned down within whispering distance Stiles leaned into his ear.

“Dude, the bathroom. We can’t let them see that.” He hissed and heard Derek’s intake of breath.

“Oh.” He grumbled and leaned away from Stiles.

Stiles fidgeted under the blankets, looking pointedly at his clothes thrown on the floor on the side of the bed that were too far to reach but Derek wasn’t looking at him anymore and concentrating on the noise the other two were making upstairs.

“The toaster works again.” He said loud enough that Stiles knew they’d hear.

Soon enough the sound of toast popping up echoed down to them. The two of them came rumbling down the stairs with a plate and set it down in front of Stiles. He looked at the slightly black pieces of bread smeared half-heartedly with butter and gave a small smile.

“Dude, the toaster always scares me even when I know it’s going to pop.” Isaac said while shaking his head.

“Same here.” Stiles agreed and picked up a piece and crunched into a blackened edge.

His stomach rumbled loudly as soon as the bite hit his stomach and he finally realized just how hungry he was. The scorched surface didn’t bother him as much on the next bite or the one after that and soon enough the two pieces were gone and his stomach had stopped its dying whale noises. After wiping off the crumbs on his hands onto the plate he glanced up at Derek who was once again staring holes into his chest. Derek snapped his attention away as soon as he caught Stiles looking at him and cleared his throat.

“It’d be a better idea for you two to head over to Deaton’s now instead of later. The storm will only get worse. Do you know where he lives in case he’s not at the clinic?”

Scott nodded. “Yeah, I went there once when we had to stop for some herb or whatever that would calm an animal that’d been hit by a car like a year ago.”

“Good. Let’s hope he still lives there.”

There was a beat of silence with them all just staring at each other before Derek gestured around him widely. “Do you still need something?”

“Uh, Stiles, dude, we’re talking later. You too Derek.” Scott said quickly before tugging Isaac towards the door.

And just like that, with the slam of the door, they were gone again and Stiles flopped back into the pillows, letting out a long sigh. Derek didn’t say anything and simply gathered the empty plate off of Stiles’ lap and dumped it into the trash beside the bed.

“You want to…um…continue?” Stiles asked hesitantly after he’d sat down on the edge of the bed with his back towards Stiles.

“No.” came the gruff reply.

“Ok, that’s cool ‘cause my boner died the second Scott burst in.”

“Not the second he burst in.” Derek grumbled and Stiles stared at him for so long with his mouth open that Derek turned around at the sudden silence.

“Did…did you just make a joke? That was totally a joke!” Stiles broke out into small huffs of laughter while Derek continued to glare at him. “And it’s not my fault it didn’t go right down! You were still all over me.”

Derek rolled his eyes and pulled the covers aside for him to crawl under and once again his body was situated right next to Stiles’. Stiles shivered at the warmth of Derek’s arm and leaned into the welcoming presence.

“Just fyi, you can do that to me anytime…as long as no one else is around… actually… maybe even then. Like if…”

“Stiles. I am not going to be touching you in _any_ way with someone else around. Ever.” Derek stopped that dangerous conversation in its tracks.

Stiles nods and shuffles that conversation away for later, hopefully sooner than the impending ‘Talk-to-Scott-about-nakedness-in-bed-with-Derek’ talk. That one he wasn’t looking forward to as much. He pulls his knees up to his chest and crosses his arms over them to rest his head on before he jerks his head upright when pain ignites in his arms.

“Oh dude, you think they noticed the bandages?” Stiles asks as he inspects the beige bandages wrapped around his arms, the stark white corners of gauze peeking out from beneath the edges.

“Don’t know. If they did then don’t mention it. They’ll probably forget.” Derek says gruffly and reaches over to his bedside table and grabs his book lying on the corner.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m gonna go clean the bathroom. I hope you don’t mind if I borrow some more clothes.” Stiles mumbles, already moving to get off the bed.

“Keep the door open.”

Stiles glares at him with a slightly wounded look and huffs as he quickly pulls clothes from Derek’s dresser to cover his skinny, naked body. His feet slap on the cold concrete as he throws the door open to the bathroom and jams a sock under the door frame to keep it from slipping closed. For a second he stood there a little horrified all over again at the sight of his blood all over the bathroom before clenching his teeth and walking over the crusty blood to the sink. Underneath the sink the bleach was covered by a mound of rags and Stiles sighed as he pulled out about five rags and the bleach before shutting the cabinet. Cautiously he held one rag to his face and sniffed lightly. It actually smelled relatively clean, just the slight scent of mildew clinging to the edges.

Quickly he tied one around his face to cover his mouth and nose since he knew from past experience that breathing in bleach fumes felt like dunking his brain and lungs in acid. Lifting the bottle of bleach with his left hand made his arm burn so he had to undo the lid and pour with his right hand which had him a bit unsteady.

“Couldn’t have bled nicely now could I? Oh no, I just had to get it fucking everywhere on every damn surface.” Stiles muttered angrily under his breath. “Didn’t want to deal with this. Not now. Not ever really. Scott you idiot. Should’ve stayed at Lydia’s just a _bit_ longer. I haven’t gotten off _still_ and Derek probably won’t want to even touch me after handling this stuff. Actually, I can’t believe he wanted to touch me at all.”

The entire time he’s mumbling to himself he scrubs at the nasty blood on the tiles. The blood wets again and starts to smear and has to fold the rag in order to clean it properly. The first rag covers at least five tiles with both sides and the second scrubs the rest of the splotches off random places of blood left on the floor. When he’s done with a rag he tosses it onto the concrete outside the door and grabs another. On the third rag he’s not paying as much attention as he pours the bleach and it sloshes all over his arms. Quickly it soaks through the bandages and his wounds begin to burn severely.

“Oh shit, oh shit! That fucking hurts!” he hisses and quickly rights the bleach bottle and tosses the rag to the ground.

With stained fingers he pries the soaked edge of the bandage around his left arm up and tears the bandage off, not caring that the gauze goes with it. Several cuts immediately begin to bleed, exposing even more of the wound to the still dripping bleach. Cursing vividly he quickly holds his arm over the sink and turns the water onto full blast, jamming the arm under the torrent of frigid water.

“What happened?”

Derek’s growl startles Stiles and he jumps, banging his already throbbing, bleeding wounds onto the hard metal spout.

“Fuck! Derek!” Stiles hisses and grips the unmarked skin above his cuts near his elbow tightly, trying to stop the pain receptors from receiving the signals from his brain but to no avail since it hurts like a bitch!

“Stiles! What did you do?!” Derek growled louder and stalked over the bleach covered tiles, heedless of the mess, and grabbed Stiles’ arm and turned the water down to a slower, less punishing stream.

“It was an accident this time Derek! I didn’t _mean_ to do anything! The bleach slipped and spilled all over my arms. It fucking burns!”

Derek didn’t say anything in response and switched from holding Stiles’ left arm to undressing his right wrist. The stinging scent of bleach made Derek’s nose wrinkle in disgust as he threw the sopping bandages onto the floor. Stiles hissed as his burning wounds hit air.

“Shit. This won’t infect my cuts will it? I kinda like my arms where they are.” Stiles hissed through clenched teeth.

“It’ll be fine.”

Stiles didn’t say anything other than profanities as Derek shut off the water and took a clean rag from the pile and pressed it onto the slightly bleeding wounds, patting them dry.

“So this wasn’t on purpose then.” Derek stated more than asked.

“I already said it was an accident.” Stiles huffed. “I prefer the slight sting of a blade over the intense burning of chemicals thank you very much.”

Stiles’ voice was laced with sarcasm although his words rang true. His shirt had thankfully been spared from the spill but his pants had been soaked with both bleach and water since it’d spilled over the side of the sink in his haste. The churning feeling of anger inside of him at both the spillage and the wet clothes was surprisingly intense and he quickly took controlled breaths to calm his racing heart.

“Look, I didn’t mean to, ok?”

“I believe you.”

Stiles wanted to mutter under his breath like he’d been before but managed to contain his angered words since Derek was pressed against him from behind, patting his arms dry.

“I can do this myself now.”

“I need to bandage them again.”

Stiles felt anger spark up in him from where he’d manage to tamper it down.

“If you’re angry just say so! I know I keep screwing up and if you want to yell at me just do it! You’ve never hesitated to before!”

“I’m not angry.”

“Yes you are! You’re speaking in short sentences with that gruff voice you use whenever you’re upset about something.”

Derek growled low in his throat, his chest rumbling against Stiles’ back. “I’m starting to get angry because you’re _telling_ me I’m angry.”

Stiles grit his teeth, unsure as to why he was so angry all of a sudden. He actually might have preferred to stay sad if this anger was going to keep burning through him and making him feel like he was screwing everything up. Derek certainly sounded angry but his hands were gentle as they finished patting the water and blood off of him. Swallowing as much of the anger as he could he finally blew out a breath and slumped back into Derek’s muscled body.

“Sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me right now. I’m all angry and frustrated and I don’t know why.” Stiles grit out.

Derek looked down at Stiles where he slumped against him. At this angle he could rest his chin on his head so he did.

“I don’t know either. I’ve already told you I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Yeah, and I don’t mean to push you into any of this but it seems as though I’ve dragged you down anyways. Maybe I’m angry ‘cause we were interrupted? Does sexual frustration come out as anger like this? It feels like I’ve forgotten all of this.”

Stiles gestured towards himself without moving his arms out of Derek’s grasp. Derek was letting Stiles’ skin dry before he fixed him up. He didn’t know how to reply so he just shrugged and knew that Stiles could figure out what he meant. Stiles blew out a sigh and leaned his head back so he was looking up at Derek who looked down at him in return. Stiles’ eyes were shiny with anger and unshed tears and Derek much preferred this look to the blank nothingness he’d had before.

Stiles stared at Derek as the anger dwindled away and was replaced by a drained feeling. “Let’s just finish cleaning the bathroom and get back to bed or whatever. I’m tired.”

Derek nodded and lifted his head so Stiles could stand upright. Quickly he bandaged Stiles’ arms and made note of the dwindling first aid supplies before stuffing the kit back under the sink and bending down onto the floor to grab the bleach and a rag. Stiles reached for the bleach after Derek had wetted one but the bleach was yanked out of reach and the rag replaced it.

“I’ll pour the bleach.”

Stiles nodded and silently got back to work. They scrubbed the bathroom quickly and efficiently, wiping away all traces of the horror that had happened in there. Stiles felt as if he should feel horrified by what he’d done but instead he was simply horrified by the amount of blood there was. It made him wonder how he was still alive after losing so much blood. He shrugged it off and wiped the last of the blood off the toilet lid and tossed the rag into the pile. When he turned he saw that Derek had also finished cleaning the tub and the room was now free of blood even though now it smelled strongly of bleach.

“Stiles.” Derek said his name gently and Stiles looked at him with suspicion. “Look, I’m going to hold onto this, ok?” He held out the blade he’d found behind the toilet.

For a second Stiles’ heart raced in anticipation with a Pavlov’s dogs response before it changed to fear.

“Um, I…” Stiles didn’t know what to say.

“I’m not saying that you can’t have it back but from now on if you ever get the urge to cut you tell me. I’ll do what I can to dissuade you from using it but if you need to I at least want to be there to keep you from permanently harming yourself.”

Derek slowly put the knife into the pocket of his sweats so Stiles knew where it was, giving him at least that little bit of comfort. Stiles didn’t feel comforted that it’d been taken away but he knew that what Derek was saying was practical so he nodded his head tensely. Without saying anything he turned towards the still broken door and trudged out and into the darkened front room of the loft. The light was flicked off behind him as Derek followed him out and the both paused next to the bed.

“Should we sleep?” Stiles asked, unsure.

“If you want.”

Stiles sighed and nodded. It’d been a long, emotionally exhausting day and frankly he wanted it over and done with. Hopefully Scott and Isaac would have something for them tomorrow and they’d be done with this storm so he could go home and sleep in his own bed without worrying about whether or not he’d pop a boner next to Derek. Quickly he shucked his pants since they were stained with bleach and pulled back the covers. The shirt was long enough to cover his junk so he just kept it on as he slid into the bed, the smooth sheets cold against his bare thighs. Derek went around to the other side and climbed did the same except he completely divested himself of all clothing. Stiles made it his mission to focus on something else and simply get to sleep.

“Good night Stiles.” Derek’s voice rumbled behind him as he turned so his back was facing Derek.

“G’night.” He muttered back and sunk into the pillow.

The silence wrapped around him and despite usually being unable to sleep, unconsciousness closed over him rather quickly. It drew him into a dream. It was cold, so cold, and the wind was whipping around him furiously. But it was silent. Stiles’ dream self stood there stark naked in the freezing, white blankness for a while just looking around before taking his first tentative steps. The ground was completely smooth like ice but his feet stuck with every step. The silence felt heavy, as if it weighed his limbs down and slowed his progress. Progress towards what, he had no idea. Stiles walked and walked, fighting the wind as it pushed at him from one direction and then the next. Sometimes it would knock him off his feet but he’d just get right back up and continue.

_“Filthy. Disgusting. Wretched. Nasty. Sick. Soiled. Tainted.”_

Words flit around him in the wind and Stiles whipped his head to the side to see where it could be coming from. Still there was only white and the cold.

_“Destroy. Demolish. Terminate. Annihilate. Crush. Erase. Exterminate.”_

Stiles started to run, pushing against the wind and following the voice as it got louder and angrier.

_“Revolting. Repellent. Repulsive. Foul. Abhorrent. Despicable. Vile.”_

The words seemed to be on two tracks. One was stating different words for something hateful. The other was words for destruction. As Stiles listened and followed the words of destruction started up directly after.

_“Ruin. Wreck. Obliterate. Slaughter. Kill. Eliminate. Devastate.”_

“Hello?! Who’s there?!” Stiles yelled into the wind but his words were thrown right back at him.

_“Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate.”_

The voice was so loud now. It was twisted and angry. The words were said through vocal cords that sounded hoarse from shouting. They were high and strangled as if the mouth saying them was struggling to say them. Stiles squinted his dry eyes against the wind and slowly a hazy shadow came into view, bending low to the ground as if covering something. Stiles pushed against the wind harder, willing his legs to go faster until finally he was mere feet away from the crouching figure. The foul words were coming at him fast.

“Are you alright?” Stiles asked to the white fur-covered figure.

The figure snarled as it finally realized there was someone else there. The person twisted it’s shoulders around and Stiles found himself looking into the face of something truly warped. The face was old and withered and the eyes were sunken deep into the sockets. The eyes were wide open though and instead of the normal whites and irises of the eyes the entire sphere of the eyeball was a deep blue color. But the color seemed off and as they continued staring at each other Stiles realized it was because the eyes seemed to be cracked. Black, spidering cracks seemed to break the sphere of the eye apart. The skin of the face was an icy, pale blue. The color of death.

_“You! What are you doing here?!”_

The thing pointed its bone-like fingers at Stiles and opened its twisted mouth wide, revealing a dead, blue tongue and only a few rotted, black teeth. Stiles’ heart was pounding hard as he took a step back. The thing followed, stepping carefully around whatever it’d been crouching over and Stiles quickly looked down. What he saw made him gasp. A map of Beacon Hills was spread out on the ground and covered by a layer of ice to keep it from blowing away in the wind.

“You, you’re the person doing this to us.”

The mouth which was still hanging open curved up into a malicious grin.

 _“Oh yes. I’m giving this wretched town what it deserves. Werewolves, banshees, kitsune, nogitsune, kanima, demons, spirits,_ creatures _! This entire town needs to be wiped clean! Clean as snow. White, white snow.”_

The thing’s face went slack as it repeated ‘snow’ and ‘clean’ and ‘white’ over and over again before it snapped its revolting gaze back upon Stiles who flinched.

 _“You’re a part of this too Spark. You’re pathetic, useless self is causing this. It’s all your fault after all. Since the very beginning. If only you’d left everything alone. If only you hadn’t stirred up trouble with that_ disgusting _friend of yours Scott.”_

Stiles realized it was talking about that first night when Scott and he had gone looking for Laura’s body in the woods. That was the first night that his life had begun to change, where everything had gone to Hell. It’s what turned Beacon Hills into his personal brand of Hell. This was his fault. If only he’d left everything alone then this wouldn’t be happening. The thing stared at him as if it knew everything that was going through his mind and Stiles didn’t doubt for a second that it did. In fact it nodded and grinned at him as horrified realization dawned on him.

_“That’s right. It’s your fault. You caused this. You killed everyone. You’re going to die.”_

Stiles stepped back farther, retreating faster. The thing followed him step for step until he turned and began to run, yelling out desperately as he heard the demented laughter of the thing as it followed him. It wasn’t silent anymore. The laughter floated all around him, smothering him with sound heavier than the silence before. The horror warped into something worse as it began shouting his name over and over again.

_“Stiles! Stiles! Stiles…”_

“…Stiles!”

Stiles screamed as he bolted upright. Everything around him was shaking and he immediately tried to run, kicking the blankets off of his thrashing body. Arms held him down and he screamed louder, thinking the thing had caught him.

“Stiles! Wake! Up!”

Each word was punctuated with a harsh jerk of his shoulders and finally Stiles wrenched his eyes open. Derek’s face filtered in through the tears blurring his face and he froze up, his flailing limbs stilling in mid-air. Finally he seemed to realize that he was awake and the thing wasn’t still chasing him and he collapsed, sobbing quietly as the fear still pounded through him. Derek carefully let go of his bruising grip on Stiles’ arms and sat back a little shakily. Carefully he put one hand on Stiles’ hand and gently pets him like he would a pup until Stiles has stopped making gasping noises.

“What happened?” Stiles asked, his voice raw.

“You were yelling and thrashing around. It took a long time to wake you up. Do you remember what you were dreaming about?”

“I…uh…I don’t think I was dreaming. I mean, yes, I was asleep but I don’t think what I saw was a dream.” Stiles paused as he thought over what he’d seen.

“What do you mean? What did you see?”

“I think I saw the thing that’s causing this storm. It was…gross. It looked kind of like a person but it was all shriveled and its eyes were weird and mouth and…” Stiles shivered, not sure where to start or even what to say.

Derek nodded and scooted closer to Stiles, sitting right next to him now and Stiles leaned back into his chest for comfort. The heat and solidity of Derek’s chest finally chased away the lingering fear and his heart quieted in his chest. Derek’s arms slowly wrapped around his waist and pulled him back so he was sitting in his lap and Stiles sighed.

“Ok so, the Zud-thingy appeared in your dream. What did it say to you?”

“It said it was going to destroy the town and wipe it clean of its filth. Evidently the amount of supernatural activity has somehow tainted the land or something. It also said it was all my fault. If I hadn’t dragged Scott out that night then he wouldn’t have been bitten and all of this wouldn’t have happened.” Stiles slumped even farther into Derek, feeling lifeless as he realized the weight of those words. “It said I was going to be responsible for the death of everyone in this town and that I was going to die as well.”

“You can’t really believe that, can you?”

Stiles didn’t answer because it was so blatantly obvious that it was entirely his fault.

“Stiles.” Derek said his name but he didn’t look at him. “Stiles, look at me.”

Still he didn’t look and Derek’s hand released his waist to come up and grip his chin, forcing him to look at him. Derek could see the resigned acceptance in Stiles’ eyes and sighed.

“For as smart as you are, you’re awfully stupid sometimes.” Derek said and released his chin.

Stiles sighed and twisted on Derek’s lap so his legs were slung over his thigh and he could bury his face in Derek’s shoulder.

“You’re not the one doing this so it’s not your fault.” Derek said gruffly, clumsy with his words of comfort.

“You should listen to your own words sometimes.” Stiles mumbles and pats Derek’s chest lightly.

Derek sighs. “I’m not saying it for me. I’m saying it for you. ‘Cause it’s true.”

Stiles lets out a huge yawn and Derek shifts them until they’re lying on their sides facing each other.

“Do you want to lie like this or the other way?” Derek asks, unsure.

Stiles turns onto his other side and pushes back until his body is flush with Derek’s and his arm is around his waist. “This is perfect.”

Derek grunts an agreement and presses his face into Stiles’ shoulder and Stiles shudders before closing his eyes once more.

“Wake me up if it seems I’m having another nightmare.”

“I will.”

“Also, I’ll tell you the rest of what I saw in the morning.”

“Ok.”

“I like sleeping like this.”

“Good night Stiles.”

Stiles smiles and lets out a small huff of laughter. “Good night.”

 

This time they do sleep the rest of the night without any more hiccups and wake up to a dark dawn. Well, Stiles wakes up to a dark dawn. Derek is lightly snoring behind him and had somehow made it onto his back during the night. Stiles sits up slowly, pushing the blanket down so he could move without jostling Derek, and notices something odd about Derek’s sleeping figure. A blush heats his face as he realizes that Derek isn’t immune to the glories of morning wood. Stiles himself had woken up with his cock lying heavy against his thigh.

Stiles stares at the tenting blanket for a long time before quickly darting his eyes back and forth between Derek’s sleep slackened face and the tent. Finally, after much deliberation, Stiles slowly slithers underneath the covers and carefully crawls over Derek’s leg until he’s between his thighs. Derek’s cock is hard and red, the uncut tip pressing against the fabric and leaving a small wet patch behind. Stiles licks his lips and carefully lifts the blanket a little so he can position his face over the tip. He doesn’t want to touch it in fear of waking Derek so he puts both hands on either side of Derek’s hips, resting on the bed to hold himself up as he oh so slowly leans down. His lips part as soon as they touch the hot tip and he slides the silky smooth head of Derek’s cock into his mouth. The salty taste of precum bursts across his taste buds and he can’t help but let out a small noise of arousal at the taste.

Slowly he lowers his head, taking the cock deeper into his mouth, laving the silky sides with his tongue until the tip hits the back of his throat and he has to struggle not to gag. Above him he hears a drawn out groan from Derek and he can’t help the swell of pride within his chest as he withdraws his head before sucking it down again. Once it’s as deep as it can go again he sucks on it lightly, making sure his teeth are carefully covered by his lips so he doesn’t hurt Derek. The resulting noise has fire rushing through his veins and he can’t help but press the palm of his hand against the tip of his cock, feeling the precum drip down his hand.

Derek’s breathing stutters above him and he thinks that it’s just because he’d done something right but then Derek’s shifting beneath him and the blankets are slowly being tugged up. Stiles looks up without taking his mouth off of Derek, still sucking up and down the shaft, and sees Derek’s sleepy eyes squinting down at him.

“Stiles? Oh G…” Derek’s words are bitten off as he groans deeply.

Stiles moans at the sound, the vibrations going straight through Derek’s cock and then he feels a hand running through his hair. Stiles’ breathes in deeply through his nose on an upstroke and wraps his hand fully around his cock as he watches Derek watch him.

“Geez Stiles. I thought I was dreaming.”

“Mmm.” Stiles answers without taking his mouth off of him.

“How long have you been doing this?”

Stiles pulls off of him and wraps the hand not wrapped around his own dick around the spit slickened shaft of Derek’s cock and strokes him while he talks.

“I don’t know. Maybe five minutes?”

“Five minutes.” Derek groans and Stiles’ cock twitches at the face he’s making. “It feels like I could cum any second.”

“M-me too.” Stiles gasps and leans back down to cover Derek’s cock once again with his mouth.

What he can’t fit in his mouth he strokes with his fist, his own cock being worked furiously with his other hand. Derek’s hand clutches almost painfully tight into his hair and suddenly Derek’s cock is growing in his mouth. There’s little warning besides the sudden twitch and Derek’s cumming hard down his throat. Stiles swallows greedily and his balls tighten as he cums into his fist, jerking himself and Derek through their orgasms. Once the flow has stopped Stiles pulls off slowly, licking up any cum that managed to dribble out of his mouth and sits back on his haunches, staring at Derek with blissed out eyes. His softening cock is still held in his messy hand and Derek’s eyes zone in on it.

Quickly and without warning Derek tugs Stiles down onto the bed on his back and their positions are reversed. Stiles feels Derek’s deft tongue making quick work of the mess he’d made and he groans loudly at the oversensitive head of his cock being taken into Derek’s hot, wet mouth. After his cock is sucked clean and already chubbing up again Derek pulls Stiles’ messy fingers into his mouth one by one and licking across his palm until his hand is free of his cum as well. Stiles is breathing hard by the time Derek crawls back up the bed and lays next to him.

“That was…wow.” Stiles says articulately with a dazed smile gracing his lips.

Derek nods. “Agreed.”

Stiles leans forward and Derek gets the gist, leaning down to meet him halfway so their messy lips meet. Stiles moans at the taste of cum in their mouths, knowing it should be gross but it makes him hot with arousal once more. Before it can turn into round two Derek pulls back and swipes his thumb across Stiles’ bottom lip and pressing a last kiss against those swollen, plump lips before sitting up again.

“You need to tell me about your visit with the Zud-thingy.”

Stiles smiles at Derek’s usage of the stupid nickname of the thing and nods. Derek gets up from the bed and looks at Stiles expectantly but Stiles just stretches his arms up above his head until they’re pressed against the head board, knowing Derek is watching him, and stretches his body out to its full length, letting out a loud groan as he feels the endorphins rush through him. Once he’s thoroughly sated he lets out a huge sigh and waits out the bliss before slowly climbing out of bed.

“Yup, time to face this thingy down.” Stiles says and gives Derek a shit-eating grin.

 


	10. Chapter 10

 “Ok, so, we need to figure out the situation from your dream last night.” Derek mumbled as he took the steps up to the kitchen two at a time.

“Yeah. I still don’t think it was a dream though.” Stiles replied and climbed off the bed to follow him.

Since the power had been turned back on it was warmer in the house and the floor didn’t sting his feet with cold as much. Though he still needed a blanket and shivered once he was seated in a chair at the table, watching Derek pull things out of the freezer and beginning to put them into the fridge again.

“What do you want to call it then? A vision?”

“Hmm, nah, let’s just stick with dream even though it was clearly not a creation of my subconscious.”

“It could be though.” Derek said as he put the last steak aside before shutting the freezer door.

“Nope. Dreams are created from images you’ve seen in your life. Every single person you meet in a dream you have come across in real life even if for only a second.” Stiles taps his temple. “It’s all stored in here even if you don’t remember it. Now this thing that I spoke with last night I have definitely never seen before ‘cause I would definitely remember something that hideous.”

“What if it was from one of those movies or comic books you like so much?”

Stiles sighed and shook his head again. “I have pretty good recall. Now, I am absolutely positive that what I saw last night was the Zud-thingy. I’m just not sure where it is or how it got here or why it visited me. What I am sure about was that it was looking at a marked up map of Beacon Hills and that it wanted to kill all of us.”

Derek nodded and clicked the burner on, settling the pan over the flame before flicking his gaze back over to Stiles, telling him to continue since he’d paused.

Stiles thought back onto what he’d seen and tried to recall what exactly was on the map he’d seen. He’d been in such a panic that he hadn’t really paid much attention to it but he’d gotten a quick look. Now just to focus on that memory.

“Ok…” Stiles held up his hands as if trying to grasp something. “The thing had been crouched over a map and it was frozen to the ground. It was like…covered in a layer of ice or something except…except for one spot. It looked like a piece of the map was thawed but only in one spot.”

“If I gave you a map could you recreate what you saw?” Derek asked before slicing open the meat packaging with a claw and tossing it onto the pan, licking his bloodied fingers afterwards.

“Ah, ew. You’d better wash your mouth out before you kiss me.” Stiles commented and caught the answering smirk. “Ok, you’re right. I probably won’t care. Not the point! That was a gross werewolfy thing. As for the map, I’m sure that if I saw it the memory would be stronger so…maybe?” Stiles shrugged.

Derek grunted in way of answer and concentrated on cooking the meat. Stiles’ stomach rumbled loudly as the scent of the steak drifted through the kitchen. Derek cast a quick glance his way with a raised eyebrow but Stiles just waved him off and covered his stomach as if that’d quick the loud gurgling.

“Want some?”

“You willing to share?”

“I might be.”

“Ah, light banter. Look at us! All couple-y in the kitchen.” Stiles cooed sarcastically before getting up to grab the bread and butter from the fridge. “I’m just kidding. Don’t get your tail in a knot.” Stiles joked, patting Derek on the back as he passed him on his way to the toaster.

“Dog jokes.” Derek mumbled and decidedly ignored the grin aimed his way.

“I’ve got a plethora of them ever since Scott was turned.”

Derek didn’t say anything, not wanting to encourage him, and flipped the steak over as Stiles popped two slices of bread into the toaster and clicked the lever down, setting the heat controls onto light.

“No wonder they burned my toast yesterday. This thing was set to char.” Stiles mumbled and grabbed a knife from the drawer beside him.

The steak sizzled in the momentary silence while they both waited for their food to be done. They’d grown so used to the sound of the storm that the howl of the wind and driving sleet crashing against the building was just background noise. It wasn’t uncomfortable though and Stiles got to ogle Derek’s muscular, naked back in the florescent light until the popping of the toaster startled him.

“Holy shh….naynay.” Stiles bit off his curse and righted himself from his startled pose of hands up in a chopping motion, standing on one leg.

Derek looked at him with amusement and plucked a plate from the clean pile beside the sink. The sight of the sizzling steak being laid out onto the plate had Stiles’ mouth watering and stomach grumbling. Quickly he scooped a clump of butter onto his toast and spread it before stuffing a bite into his mouth to stifle the growling. While he munched on several bites of toast he butters his other slice and carried his plate over to the table where Derek was now seated.

“So, what did this thing look like?” Derek asked before stuffing a bite of steak into his mouth.

“Uh, well…” Stiles mumbled around a bite of toast, trying not to spit crumbs. “It was creepy as hell. It was covered by a white fur coat or blanket or skin or something. When it turned to me its face was all withered and looked like really aged leather. Its mouth only had a couple rotten teeth and the tongue was a really odd blue color.” Stiles paused to crunch on more toast until that slice was gone and he picked up his next one. “The eyes were the weirdest part though. They were a solid blue color but it looked like cracked glass and the cracks were black. It was seriously some of the creepiest shit I’ve ever seen.”

Derek nodded as he chewed on his steak. He seemed deep in thought as he cut the steak left on his plate in half and set it onto Stiles’ plate who froze with the last half slice of toast half-way to his mouth.

“I was kidding about sharing. You don’t have to.”

“Do you not want it?” Derek asked and reached back over with his fork but Stiles karate chopped the air in front of it.

“I didn’t say that.” Stiles grinned and shoved the last bit of his toast into his mouth as he stared at the juicy, slightly pink steak.

“Last night you said that it’d spoken to you about Beacon Hills; that it told you everyone was going to die. Did it say how?”

“It just said it was going to cleanse this land and bury it. Judging by the storm I’d say the burying part is already under way.”

Stiles looked at the uncovered window covered in a layer of white and sighed, picking up his steak with his fingers since he didn’t want to get up to get a fork. Derek stared at him as he bit a huge chunk off and chewed with relish.

“There are forks you know.”

Stiles shrugged and chewed and swallowed before answering. “I don’t want to get up and my fingers are already all buttery.” He tore off another huge chunk and moaned a little as he tasted meat again for the first time in months.

Derek didn’t push him to get one and just put another bite into his mouth. “And you said I was the dog.”

Stiles huffed a laugh around his bite. “I think your humor is under appreciated. You’re a comedian dude.”

“I’m a riot.”

Of course that line just had to be delivered with a deadpan face and Stiles burst out laughing, tipping his head back in his enthusiasm. Derek simply stared at him, face straight except for the amusement dancing in his eyes. It took a bit before Stiles was letting out soft giggles and wiping moisture from his eyes.

“Funny man.” Stiles chuckled and took another bite, still letting out a laugh here and there as he chewed.

“Now, I have a map of Beacon Hills downstairs in a drawer of the desk. I’ll let you use that as a reference. Just don’t draw on it, ok?”

“Yeah, sure.” Stiles waved away his concern, still smiling.

Derek finished before Stiles did and just watched him eat. Stiles was still unnaturally pale and thin but there was a small flush on his cheeks and neck that undoubtedly spread to his chest. He was also smiling and talking way more than two days ago so Derek took that as an accomplishment.

“You seem better.” Derek said before he thought better of it.

Stiles froze as he chewed and stared at his steak for a second before swallowing and looking up at him. The smell of distress scented the air and Derek immediately regretted his reckless words. Yet before he could speak Stiles was opening his mouth.

“Ah, yeah. I feel…better I guess. I mean I’m definitely not 100% or even 50% and I’m definitely going to have relapses but…I don’t feel…hopeless anymore.” Stiles paused and stared at Derek with a soft, sad expression. “Thanks by the way.”

The tension that had rocketed through Derek’s body slowly receded a little and Derek nodded. “If you need to…talk or anything, I’ll listen…or whatever.”

Stiles gave a small huff of a laugh and shook his head. “As eloquent as ever.” He mumbled before taking another bite of the steak.

They sat in silence while Stiles finished the last couple of bites and licked his fingers free of the juices. Together they do the dishes and clean up what little mess they’ve made before climbing back down the stairs to the desk. From the last drawer on the left Derek pulls out and unfolds a large map of Beacon Hills that already has little markings on it that Stiles can recognize from previous crisis they’d managed to resolve. The location of the Nemeton was circled with a red marker and there were several other black x’s that marked victims of the sacrifices. Some scribbled notes in pencil outlined the maps borders but Stiles didn’t bother reading all of them and stared at it as he tried to recall his ‘dream’.

“Ok, the Nemeton hadn’t been circled on the map so I’m going to ignore that. Can you hand me a blank sheet of paper?” Stiles asked as he stared hard at the map, trying to figure out which side was up in his ‘dream’.

Derek slid a sheet of paper from his draw and handed it to Stiles, watching as he circled the map.

“Hmm, there was a large, red, curving line running through the map and the thawed bit was towards the lower left. I think the red line was a stream or something.”

Derek leaned over the map and pointed at several curving, blue lines. “These are all the streams or rivers but they’re all either in the preserve or woods. None of them run all the way through the map.”

“Yeah and there are only a couple canal bridges but those don’t run through town either.” Stiles mumbled and put this thumbnail between his front teeth as he thought through the ‘dream’.

“Was there any other remarkable landmark on the map that stood out to you? A darker spot in one area indicating a clustering of something?”

“Mm, kind of? In the upper right corner where just a bunch of black squiggly lines that I think indicated elevation levels and down in the lower left were more black lines but I don’t think those were elevation levels.”

“So a mountain range in the upper right and something in the lower left.”

Stiles circled the map looking for these markings but frankly it made little sense to him.

“I was looking at the map from more of an aerial view since it was smaller. Maybe if I were to get higher I’d be able to figure it out.”

Stiles grabbed for a chair but Derek simply lifted the map and settled it down on to the floor in front of the desk.

“That works too. Now, let’s see what we’ve got.”

The view was definitely better. Stiles could now clearly see the difference between the wooded areas and the city areas. As he stared at the city areas he paused and frowned at it, looking hard at all the lines. A particular one caught his eye.

“Hey, what’s this line here?” he asked, pointing towards a rather larger line that squiggled its way across the map.

“That’s the main road that leads through Beacon Hills.”

“Main street. Of course! It wasn’t a stream, it was a street!” Stiles gasped with a smile of triumph.

Quickly Stiles walked around the map until it was technically right side up, the name of the town written on the bottom of the page.

“Here,” Stiles pointed at the upper right corner, “is where the elevation is. It’s the mountains above the preserve. And down here,” Stiles trailed his finger down until he got to the lower left, “is where all the warehouses are in town. This is where I saw the thawed area.”

Stiles took the sheet of paper he’d been handed earlier and tore the corner off, placing it where the thawed circle had been and stood up.

“Those are all storage sheds. Why was it marked?”

Stiles shook his head. “I have no idea. You think that’s where it might be?”

Derek shrugged.

“Great. Well, at least it’s a lead. As soon as Scott and Isaac get back with Deaton we’ll relay this to them. Maybe Deaton can make more sense of that ‘dream’ I had.”

Again Derek shrugged and Stiles just sighed and stared some more at the map. In his dream the ice had covered everything but that one place. Did that mean that in that one spot there wasn’t any ice either?

“Dude, what if there’s no snow or ice or anything in this spot either? Like, what if the map I saw is exactly like the storm now. Everything else is covered in snow but here.” He taps the white piece of paper.

“That may be true. Then again it might not be. What did the environment seem like in your dream?”

“White and empty. There wasn’t a single sound but it was cold and the wind was blowing really hard and I couldn’t see barely anything until I stumbled upon that crazy guy. I was also naked.” Stiles added the last bit as an afterthought.

“Why were you naked?”

Stiles scoffed. “I don’t know! Maybe because I wasn’t dressed in the real world?” Stiles offers.

“That actually makes sense.”

There was another really long silence of the both of them just staring at the map before Stiles looked up at Derek on the other side of the map.

“When do you think the others will be back?”

Derek looked up at him. “Probably either sometime this evening or tomorrow morning. It’ll be too cold at night to transfer Deaton over here in the storm.”

Stiles nodded. “What should we do until then?”

Derek’s eyes narrowed but it wasn’t a mean thing. More like he was thinking about where this conversation could possibly be going.

“Whatever we want to I guess. You should probably try and make a rendition of that creature you saw so we have a vague idea of what it looks like.”

“Yeaaah, totally not where I was going with this but it’s a good idea…if I had even an iota of artistic value.” Stiles said and flopped his hands up into the air then back down to his thighs in a resigned manner.

“Just try. I’m not asking for exact detail but the best you can do.”

“Ok, I’ll try.” Stiles sighed and rolls his head on his neck. “This is totally not going to end well.”

Derek disappeared through the hole in the wall beside the bathroom and Stiles sighed before picking up his torn sheet of paper and sat in his usual chair at the desk. Pulling open the top drawer he rummaged around for a bit before he managed to locate a pencil amongst the random papers. Derek sure had a lot of papers for someone who was more action based.

Recalling the creature from his ‘dream’ Stiles began sketching out a figure that vaguely resembled the creature. The face was first since it was the most prominent and he decided to draw it with the mouth open since he thought the teeth were a sure way of identifying it. Next he scribbled out the wrinkly outline of the face before shading the eyes. He made sure to add the cracks as best he could. The fur covering was just a mess of jagged edges in the resemblance of the creature’s body. He added as much detail as he could remember to the best of ability but even after an hour of work it still looked like a 3rd grader’s bad attempt at their worst nightmare.

“Ok, it’s done.” He called out to Derek as he held it up to inspect his work.

Derek came through the hole in the wall all sweaty. The shirt he’d thrown on when he’d got out of bed had been removed and Stiles couldn’t help but watch a delicious bead of sweat as it rolled down his chest and across his abs. The jerking of the paper in his hands pulled his gaze back up to Derek and he let go of it so he could see.

“This thing looks ridiculous.”

“I told you, did I not?” Stiles said and leaned back, pulling the slipping blanket back over his naked shoulders.

“Yes you did.” Derek confirmed as he continued to stare at the monstrosity.

Stiles fidgeted as Derek continued to scrutinize his work until finally he couldn’t bear the condescending look any longer and snatched the paper back.

“Well sorry my artistic skills aren’t up to par. I’ll have to work on that sometimes.” He paused and stared at Derek. “Maybe with you as my muse.” He smirked.

Derek rolled his eyes and turned his back, which Stiles promptly stared and ogled at, and walked to the bathroom. He didn’t bother to close the door after him since it was broken anyways and Stiles couldn’t help but stand, debating on whether or not to follow. The sound of the shower starting convinced him that yes he definitely needed to be there. Quickly he scurried around the map with the blanket clutched to him until he stood in front of the bathroom door. Derek had already stripped himself of his pants and stood there in front of the shower, waiting for it to heat up. Derek cast a glance back at Stiles but didn’t say anything as he climbed in, disappearing behind the shower curtain.

“You’re a fucking tease.” Stiles muttered as he took one step into the bathroom.

Derek’s head peeked around the shower curtain and that was it. Stiles let the blanket drop and quickly walked over to the shower, tugging back the curtain so he could watch the steaming water cascade over Derek’s smooth skin and tight muscles. There was a small smirk gracing his lips and he looked positively amused and Stiles raised an eyebrow, a smirk of his own decorating his face as he stepped into the shower with him, tugging the curtain back into place. With his back turned to close the curtain a warm body pressed against his back and Stiles shivered.

“Definitely a tease.” He said a little breathlessly.

“You didn’t get to cum yesterday.”

“Which I’m hoping you’ll remedy today. Like, now.”

There was a growl and the chest against his back rumbled. The sound and feeling had a spike of arousal shooting through his body, sending his blood racing south. Slowly, cautiously, he pressed his body backwards. Derek’s legs fit against his and Stiles could feel the outline of his dick pressed against the crevice of his ass right at his tailbone. The feeling made him shiver and bite his lip on a breathy moan. Water rolled off Derek’s body and wet his own, bathing him in warmth. Reaching back with his hands he gripped Derek’s thighs and leaned his head back against his shoulder. Immediately Derek dipped his head down and pressed his nose into the space between the back of his ear and his hair, nosing down this throat to his shoulder.

“Derek.” The name came out breathy with a bitten off moan at the end and Derek answered with a growl against his shoulder, teeth barely nipping at the skin. “Come on. Touch me. Please?” The ‘please’ was tacked on as an afterthought, giving him a choice.

Hands slid from where they rested at his sides to Stiles’ hips, fingers stroking the soft skin along his hip bones and up along his sides. Goosebumps rose on his skin and Stiles shivered. Those hot fingers ran up and down his sides for a second before burning palms slid across his belly and strong arms pulled him back into an embrace. Stiles panted heavily at the heady feeling, his dick stirring between his thighs but he liked the slow pace and didn’t press for more.

Derek slid his hands up Stiles’ stomach to his chest and let his fingers smooth along his skin until they ran over the hardened nubs of his nipples. The hitch of Stiles’ breath and the high pitched keen from his throat made Derek press open mouthed kisses and hot licks along the exposed expanse of throat. His fingers gently pinched and rolled each nub slowly, drawing out each stroke. Stiles seemed to like it when he pinched harder and every so often he’d give a harsh squeeze just to hear that soft whimper and feel the writhing of his body against his own.

Stiles’ body was buzzing with arousal and his dick had completely filled with blood. It stood at full attention and ached with neglect but he didn’t dare to touch it in fear of cumming too quickly. He could feel Derek’s dick growing against his ass and he would occasionally press his hips back just to feel it twitch against his skin. When he felt Derek’s teeth scrape along his throat his hands tightened on Derek’s thighs and he let out a whimper, a fresh burst of arousal making his dick drip with precum that was immediately washed away by the water. The fingers on his nipples were so soft, gently rubbing over them just hard enough for little jolts of sensation to be sent through his body. Then those fingers would pinch hard and he’d keen and writhe against Derek’s body, the sensation was so good.

“Derek, ngh! Derek!” he chanted a litany of Derek’s name over and over.

Derek growled louder than before at his name. “Stiles.”

Stiles began pushing his hips back against Derek’s fully erect cock, rubbing up and down in what was hopefully a pleasurable manner. From Derek’s responding thrusts he took that as his efforts weren’t wasted. Suddenly those questing, pleasurable fingers were moving away from his chest and gripped around his waist, pushing his body forward.

“Nh! Derek, no!” he gasped, scrabbling to get back to Derek’s body.

“Put your hands on the wall and push your ass towards me.” Derek commanded, his voice all growly.

Immediately Stiles did as he was told. The tile was cold against his palms since the hot water wasn’t hitting it and he spread his legs as far as they’d go in the tub, pushing his waist back to present Derek with his ass. He looked over his shoulder so he could watch Derek and the sight presented to him made him gasp loudly before moaning like a wanton whore. Derek’s dick was big…well, more like _huge_ and hard and looked absolutely delicious. Which it was. Stiles smirked as he recalled this morning.

Derek’s eyes were trained intently on him and his hot gaze made Stiles shiver. He felt so exposed but it was one of the best feelings ever. His bandages had yet to get wet, thankfully, and the pain he felt as the pressed against the wall simply sharpened the other senses. Derek continued to stare for a bit longer until Stiles whined and wriggled his hips, trying to get some stimulation to his aching cock.  Finally Derek stepped forward until his dick gently touched against his thigh.

“Come on tease!” Stiles whined and his plea echoed off the walls around them enticingly.

Derek simply ran his palms over the swell of Stiles’ ass and gently kneaded the firm flesh. His fingers dug in and his thumbs parted his cheeks wider until Derek could see his tight entrance which twitched under his gaze. Gently, almost too gently, Derek ran his thumb over his pucker and the unexpected sensation made Stiles jerk his hips and moan loudly. He pressed a little harder and the reaction he got was greater. Stiles pushed his hips backwards against Derek’s thumb until he managed to push just the tip of the thumb into him and he groaned loudly, hanging his head between his arms.

“D-Derek. Are you going to do it?” his voice was rough and his breath was coming fast.

“Do you really want it here and now?”

Stiles bit his lip and forced his hazy mind to focus for a second as he thought through what was happening. Finally he let out a gust of air.

“Not yet. I mean, I really _really_ want it but…not as things are now.”

Derek smoothed a hand soothingly over his back and Stiles sighed at the contact.

“We can wait until all this is over and you’re more yourself.” Derek rumbled and leaned over Stiles’ back to press his lips gently against his spine, trailing up to his neck and sucking a dark hickey between his neck and shoulder.

“Ok.” Stiles moaned and jolted when Derek pulled his thumb out. “I still want your fingers in me though! At least give me that!”

Derek pulled himself upright again so he could see where his finger connected to Stiles body and gently prodded his tight hole with his fingertip.

“I can give you that much.”

Derek gently ran his finger around Stiles’ hole, teasing and pressing until the muscle relaxed a little before pushing in just a bit. The muscle fluttered around it, tightening almost painfully before loosening to accept him. Derek ground his dick against Stiles’ inner thigh and when Stiles gripped him tight with his thighs he growled long and deep, pressing his finger in deeper. Stiles moaned and pushed back a little, sucking Derek’s finger in slowly.

Derek’s dick was pressed up against Stiles’ balls and the underside of his cock and he gave an experimental thrust. The results were more than pleasing as Stiles gripped tighter and started to move almost unconsciously back onto his finger then forward to rub against his cock. Derek thrust longer and harder as his finger rocked in and out. Soon Stiles was loose enough that he could press his second finger against the muscle and it would part to accept it as well, though it was still quite tight. Stiles was hot and smooth inside, the walls clamping and fluttering around his fingers. He was still clean from how little he’d been eating and he was glad for at least that much.

“Derek! Need to cum!” Stiles moaned loudly and Derek’s attention was pulled away from his ass to his face and he was simply enraptured.

Stiles’ cheeks were flushed a deep pink and his lips were parted and shiny with spit. His bottom lip would occasionally be sucked between his teeth and gnawed on, making it redder and more swollen. Those amber eyes were shut and his eyebrows drawn up in pleasure, his eyelashes long and sweeping over his cheekbones. Water ran down the side of his cheek and Derek couldn’t help but lean over to catch that salty sweet droplet on his tongue. Stiles opened his eyes and stared at Derek with half-lidded, lust-blown eyes. The amber was a thin ring around his pupil that had expanded with lust and arousal.

When Derek reached around Stiles’ hip with his free hand to grasp his hot erection he could feel the slickness of precum dripping from the tip and down his shaft. Arousal swept through Derek again, making his own dick weep and thrust hard against Stiles. His fingers pumped in and out of his hole with no problem now, having loosened him by scissoring over and over inside him. Stiles was trembling in his arms and he could feel himself growing close, they both were.

“Stiles.” Derek growled before he began to cum, his cock pulsing between Stiles’ tight, wet thighs and drenching Stiles’ cock.

“Derek!” Stiles cried loudly and Derek watched with bliss clouded eyes as Stiles clenched his eyes tight and his mouth opened wide in a shout as he came.

Burning hot liquid drenched his hand and his ass clenched around his fingers as Stiles came. The whole thing made a fresh wave of arousal burst through him and he had to shove it down since a werewolf refractory period is much shorter than a humans. Stiles’ legs trembled and Derek carefully pulled his fingers free which made Stiles groan and clutched him around the middle to keep him upright. Cum stained Stile’s front and the scent was heady and permeated the air. Derek rubbed it into Stiles’ skin before he realized what he was doing and slowly backed them both into the water. Stiles shivered as the water ran over his sensitive skin but soon relaxed into Derek’s arms.

“That was amazing.” He whispered, eyes still closed as he rode out the tail end of his high.

“Mhm.” Derek agreed with minimalistic sounds and pressed his face against Stiles’ hair.

“When we actually do it we’ll be in bed and no one is going to bug us and there won’t be some creepy supernatural dude trying to kill us…again. There’ll be lube and condoms…wait, do werewolves need condoms? You guys can’t even catch human diseases so I guess they’d be kinda useless. Then again if you really want to use them then I guess we could but we’ll _definitely_ do it bareback. That’ll be great. Also, toys…”

“Stiles, shut up.”

Derek sounded all growly but in fact he was smiling secretly into Stiles’ hair at the prospect of getting Stiles into his bed and deflowering him thoroughly. The thought of Stiles’ virgin ass all spread out had his arousal rearing its head once more but again he shoved it down and simply help Stiles for a bit longer. As soon as Stiles began shifting restlessly in his arms he loosened his arms and allowed Stiles to move on his own. Stiles twisted around in his arms and wrapped his arms around his neck, pulling him down. He went willingly and pressed his lips to Stiles’ oh so soft ones. The kiss was chaste and slow and filled with things neither of them could say yet.

“We should do that more often.” Stiles sighed.

“Get each other off or kiss?”

Stiles chuckled. “I meant kiss but definitely the other one too.”

Derek nodded in agreement. “Now for the actual shower.”

Stiles laughed and managed to snag the soap before Derek and proceeded to rub him down.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

Only an hour and a half after they’d gotten in the shower they shut off the water and climbed out, sated and clean. The bathroom was thick with steam and Stiles could feel it stick to his skin even as he toweled off. Derek was out of the bathroom first, already having pulled on a clean pair of sweats and the cold air wafted into the room when he opened the door. Stiles shivered and quickly finished toweling off his hair so he could grab the discarded blanket from the ground and cover himself once more in warmth.

“Too bad you don’t have a computer or TV. Then we’d have something to do.” Stiles grumbled as he walked out into the cool room.

“There’s no signal anyway.”

“There’d still be movies!” Stiles stated with an implied ‘duh’ at the end.

“Sleep then. It’ll pass the time faster.”

“I’m not tired.”

Derek sighed, exasperated. “I don’t care what you do then.”

Stiles pursed his lips and nodded as he sauntered back over to the map on the floor. There wasn’t much he could do anymore except wait for Scott and Isaac to bring Deaton over. It was at least one in the afternoon now so he had quite a bit of waiting to do. Looking at the window he realized that the option of staring out the window was gone since snow and ice covered it almost completely. Thank goodness for heaters because without it blowing on full blast he’d be frozen.

“Will Scott and Isaac be ok? Werewolves have a tolerance to this kind of weather right?”

Derek looked up from his book he’d sat on the bed with to stare at Stiles before answering.

“We can survive in the cold but not in something like this for very long. I’d be able to get to your house and back before I freeze to death.”

“Dude, that’s like down the highway. That’s quite a few miles.”

Derek nodded and set the book aside since he figured he wouldn’t be able to read it with Stiles talking. He was right.

“That’s just me though. I don’t know how the others are taking it but I’d say they’ll be ok.”

“I hope so. What about Deaton? He’s only human.”

“Not sure how they’ll manage that one but I’m sure Deaton’ll come up with something. He always does.”

Stiles thought about that for a second. “You don’t really trust Deaton very much, do you?”

Derek shrugged. “I don’t particularly _distrust_ him. He was the emissary for my mother but he’s not mine. He just seems…suspicious.”

“Hm, interesting. Scott seems to trust him just fine.”

“That’s Scott. I’m not Scott.”

“Yeah, I know.” Stiles nodded and walked over to the bed and climbed up next to Derek. “I’m bored.” He said after a few minutes of silence.

“Here.” Derek pulled open a drawer from his bedside table and took out a book, dropping it into Stiles’ lap. “Read this. I think you’ll like it.”

Stiles wrestled an arm free of the blankets and turned the book over to look at the title. “ _A Wrinkle in Time_? Dude, I’ve read this in like 8 th grade.”

“Did you not like it?”

“No, I didn’t say that. I actually enjoyed it a lot. ”

“Then read it again.”

Stiles wanted to argue that reading wasn’t his thing but that was a blatant lie seeing as how he’d been the main reader and researcher when all the supernatural shit had been going down. Sighing he flipped open the cover and a few pages until he got to the first page and began reading. Soon he was caught up in Meg Murry’s adventures and hours slipped by as he turned page after page and reacquainted him with the fantasy and adventure he’d already mostly forgotten. After three hours of reading he flops the book down and stares into empty space for a second before jerking his head to look at Derek.

“Dude…I just realized that this thing mentions the tesseract… _Captain America_ and _The Avengers_ totally stole that!” Stiles waved his hands around in emphasis of his point.

“I’d agree but I haven’t seen either of those.”

Stiles slaps his hands down and lets out an over exaggerated gasp of horror. “Dude! How could you _not_ have seen them?! They’re must see movies!”

Derek shrugged and turned another page in his book while Stiles stared at him with a slack jaw. After a few more seconds of staring he flaps his arms around again before picking the book back up.

“We are definitely watching those movies after all this is over. I’ll bet you haven’t seen any of the _Batman_ s either.” Stiles scoffs.

“Nope.”

Stiles makes a strangled noise and Derek peeks out the side of his eye at him and his mouth turns up ever so slightly at the corner at the look of shock and mock pain on Stiles face. Stiles shakes his head and turns his attention back to his book and gets lost in the story once more.

The wind howls more furiously outside and Stiles swears that he’s starting to hear thunder once again but he couldn’t be sure since the snow seems to muffle everything but the wind beating against the building. Stiles was starting to get sleepy, the words blurring together more often when a loud bang rings throughout the loft and Derek’s on his feet in less than a second. Another bang comes from the door and Derek’s across the room and wrenching open the door before Stiles can even put the book down. Scott and Isaac tumble inside covered in white and shaking. Both of them are carrying something and Stiles’ heart beats harshly against his ribs when he realizes that he doesn’t see Deaton.

“Scott! Isaac!” Stiles cries and jumps up from the bed.

Derek pulls a pile of blankets off the couch and throws it over them, rubbing them down to warm them up a bit. Stiles help Scott over to the couch while Isaac is helped by Derek. They both collapse onto the soft cushions. Stiles presses his warm hands against Scott’s cheeks and the snow and ice melt at the contact. Scott’s hands come up to press against his.

“Dude, you’re freakin’ cold.” Stiles laughs.

“Y-you’re w-warm.” Scott manages to get out around chattering teeth.

Isaac’s hands are holding onto Derek’s arms as he brushes off the ice on Isaac’s face and hair, pulling the blankets tighter around him.

“You guys, where’s Deaton?” Stiles asks.

Scott shakes his head and looks towards the large object they’d carried in. Stiles looks over at it and manages to make out a black plastic bag underneath all the melting ice and snow.

“Um, please tell me that’s not him. He didn’t like…die and you guys stuffed him into that.” Stiles asks in full seriousness.

Scott manages a humored huff and shakes his head again.

“S-stuff to st-stop the storm.” Isaac grits out from between his clenched teeth.

Stiles shifts and tries to pull his hands away so that he can take a look at the bag but Scott holds tight to his hands and pulls him forward so Stiles tumbles into Scott. Scott’s arms wrap around the blanket covering Stiles and he’s yanked onto his lap.

“You’re w-warm.” He repeats and buries his face into the blanket at Stiles’ neck.

A low rumble fills the room and Scott and Stiles both look up confused. The look around for a bit until Stile’s eyes meet Derek’s and realizes just where the sound’s coming from. Isaac’s staring at Derek with a mixture of horror and confusion.

“Uh, Scott? Mind letting me go please?”

Scott’s arms retreat and Stiles climbs off, his eyes never leaving Derek’s. Immediately the growling stops and suddenly he looks shocked and slightly confused before his eyebrows nearly fuse together in a frown.

“I…didn’t mean to do that.” He says, confused.

Stiles nods and runs a cold hand over his shoulder calmingly. “Nah, it’s totally fine.” He jerks his hand back at Derek’s glare. “Yeah, totally not touching. Not touching anyone. I’m just…gonna…inspect the bag.”

Stiles awkwardly stumbles over to the bag on the ground, turning his back on the incredibly awkward situation. The bag is tied at the top and takes a bit of fumbling before he manages to yank the plastic ties apart and pull the bag open to inspect its contents. A giant blanket is wrapped around whatever’s inside and he has to pull that out before unrolling it to see what it’s holding. There were frozen bags of plants with their names written on the bag along with a wooden container with strange etchings, a strange compass like thing, a tiny book, and a tiny knife. The blade of this knife was only an inch long and an off white that seemed to reflect an iridescent blue. The blade was connected to a polished wooden handle with more mysterious etchings along the side.

“Is this thing moonstone?” Stiles asked as he held up the knife.

“Yeah. Deaton said it’s one of twelve. He said the blessing could be found in the book.” Isaac answered, his voice steady now that he was growing warmer.

“Why couldn’t he just bless it?”

“He said you were the best one to do it since you’re a Spark.”

“He’s a freaking emissary. How can he not do this?”

He turned to look at Isaac and held up the knife and book. Isaac simply shrugged and nuzzled his cheek against Derek’s hand. There was a burst of jealousy in the pit of his stomach at the fond movement but he quickly tampered it. It was too late though when all three werewolves scented the air and looked at him. Scott and Isaac both looked curious while Derek looked smug. Stiles blushed furiously and turned back towards the objects laid out on the blanket.

“So all of this stuff is to take down the Zduhać? It looks like there’s stuff to both seal it and to kill it. Which one are we going to do? We agreed it should be killed before… did you change your mind?”

“Deaton said it was best to be prepared just in case the blessing failed or the knife broke or something.”

Stiles nodded. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense.”

Scott got up and crouched beside Stiles on the floor, both of them still wrapped up in their blankets.

“All the herbs are used for the purification to seal it. Deaton said that the blessing was on page 75 and he translated the requirements for the blessing on a sticky note.” He said and tapped the book in his hand.

“Ok. Then what is this thing for?” he asks, picking up the compass thing.

“It’s exactly what it looks like. Ever seen Pirates of the Caribbean? Of course you have, what am I saying? It’s just like Jack’s compass but…less efficient.”

“Huh…” Stiles turned the compass over in his hands. “How do I use it?”

“It needs to be set on the ground with your finger placed on the needle thing above the compass. It’ll point towards what you’re looking for but it only works once per person.”

“Great… You guys haven’t used it yet have you?”

Scott and Isaac both shook their heads.

“Alright! Well, I think it’s about time we should get after this thing.”

“Shouldn’t we wait until morning so it’s easier to see?”

Stiles looked at Derek, waiting for an answer to Isaac’s question but he just shrugged.

“I don’t think it’ll get light during the day anymore and the temperature’s only going to drop from now on. It won’t matter whether it’s night or day. I have flashlights and lanterns to use when we need.”

“Sweet! Let’s get started then! I’m sick of this storm.” Stiles muttered.

“You might want to get dressed.” Derek said and Stiles realized that he was indeed still naked beneath the blanket.

“Oh, right. That’s probably a really good idea.” Stiles put the stuff down and stood, clutching the blanket around his body.

He quickly scuttled over to the dresser beside the bed and tugged open the first drawer full of sweats.

“How do you have so many sweats? I thought you only owned tight jeans and Henley’s before a week ago.”

“I like to stock up.” Derek said simply as Stiles pulled out two pairs of sweats.

“Can I borrow a pair of your underwear? That’s a totally weird request but I kinda need ‘em so I don’t freeze my junk off.”

“Bottom drawer.”

Stiles opened that and tried not to drool at the thought that he’d be wearing the underwear that Derek had worn so many times. Quickly he grabbed a black pair of boxer briefs and disappeared into the bathroom to get dressed. Once he’d pulled on both layers he wrapped the blanket back around him and went back out to the others.

“We should bring the blankets.” He mumbled since he felt awfully attached to this blanket of his.

“Good idea.” Scott said and wrapped his blanket more securely around his shoulders with a slight pout.

“Let’s eat before we leave just in case we don’t get back before morning.” Derek said and finally let go of Isaac whose face was flushed with heat once more.

They all went up to the kitchen and sat around the warm stove as Derek heated it up. There was only one chicken left and they all agreed to share it along with a sandwich. The two werewolves quickly dried next to the heat and once their bellies were filled they went back downstairs and put all of the supplied onto the table.

“Ok, first I need to bless the blade so that it’ll kill the thing when we get there. Also we’ll need to memorize the order of herbs for the purification just in case the killing plan doesn’t work. Derek do you have any snow shoes?”

Derek shook his head. “No, but my neighbors two floors down do.”

“How exactly do you know this?” Scott asked suspiciously.

Derek rolled his eyes at him. “I saw them leave on a trip with them hanging from their backpacks. It’s a family of seven so there’s plenty. All we have to do is ask them. I’m sure they’ll be willing to lend them to us knowing what the weather is like out there.”

Stiles nodded and picked up the book. Quickly he flipped to page 75 where a sticky note was indeed stuck to the old page. His face paled when he read over what was needed to bless the blade.

“This is going to take forever!” he whined and tossed the book back onto the table where Derek picked it up.

A small huff of air left Derek in the resemblance of laughter and Stiles wanted to glare at him but all he could do was hide his face as it began to heat up.

“What’s wrong with it?” Isaac asked.

Stiles’ head jerked up and he glared at Derek in warning. Derek’s mouth was still tilted up in a smirk as he handed the book back to Stiles.

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing is wrong.” Stiles said through gritted teeth. “If you’ll excuse me I’m going to…take care of something real quick.”

“They’re going to know as soon as it happens so you might as well tell them. It’ll be less awkward.” Derek said smugly.

Stiles groaned loudly and put his hands over his face in horror and embarrassment. “Fine! Scott did you read what Deaton wrote on the sticky note?” When Scott shook his head Stiles sighed and braced his hands on the table. “Well, evidently a creature like this is lacking in a specific something which is why the blessing is required.” Stiles pauses for a second before handing the book over to Scott to look at the sticky note himself.

“You need…ew! Dude! That’s way too personal! Not to mention gross!” Scott made a grossed out face and tilted the book so Isaac could see.

“Yeah…that’s kind of weird. Why couldn’t it have been something like the herbs or whatever?”

“’Cause this creature is specifically lacking in these things.”

“Semen, blood, tears, and saliva. That’s just way too weird. At least it gives an explanation for all of them.”

Stiles nodded and walked around the map over to the bedside table and grabbed the drawing he’d made and taking it back over to them and setting it down on the table.

“This thing came to me last night in what seemed like a dream but it was way too real. That’s why there’s a map in the middle of the floor and why the paper’s there. This is what I suspect is the Zud-thingy.” Stiles started describing the horror of the Zduhać from its withered face to its creepy tongue and choice of wear.

“So the semen is for the lack of love and reproduction. Blood is for the frozen veins. Tears are for its lack of emotion and ability to cry. Saliva is for the evil in its words and lack of saliva. I’m pretty sure this describes a frozen zombie.” Scott summarizes.

“Pretty much. Now, where does its power reside so that we can kill it efficiently and without a huge drawn out battle?” Stiles mumbled as he tried to divert to a less embarrassing subject.

“Not sure. That’s why there’s the book. It should explain some things about it.”

Stiles sighed and picks up the book and begins to read through the Russian to English translated words on the Zduhać. He skipped through the paragraphs until he got to the part about the thing’s power. The power couldn’t be hidden and would be somewhere in plain sight. It would be a part of the creature that it couldn’t remove so Stiles thought hard about what he’d seen on the creature.

“I’m not quite sure if I’m right about this but I think its power source comes from its eyes. It says that it’s in plain sight and can’t be removed from its person since it’s a part of them.”

“You could be right. This whole thing is so weird.” Scott mumbled and shook his head. “I’m not really sure how to go about this so I’m gonna leave you to the planning.” Scott clapped Stiles on the shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah. You’re just lazy.” Stiles joked and picked the book back up. “I’ll need to take the ingredients needed and combine them to make a sort of ink. Then I’ll write on the blade and bless it against the creature I want to kill.”

“What are you going to write on it? Are there specific words?”

Stiles looked over the sticky note at the many instructions written there. “Yeah. I need to write my name, the blessing, and the creature’s name on the moonstone itself.”

“Let’s just get this done. You make the ink or whatever and we’ll work on tracking this thing down and our plan of action once we do find it.” Derek commanded.

Stiles nodded. “Ok. Do you have a small container or something?” Stiles mumbled quietly as if that’d spare him the embarrassment.

“In the bathroom in the medicine cabinet you can remove whatever’s in the little plastic cup and use that.”

“Ok.” Stiles said sullenly and quickly darted to the bathroom to make his walk of shame shorter.

Quickly he found the small cup he was looking for and dumped the Q-Tips out onto the counter and sat down on the lid of the toilet. He might as well get the easiest things done first. Saliva was easiest and all he had to do was spit into the cup a couple times. Blood was next and he carefully peeled back the edge of his bandage on his left wrist and picked at a scab until it began to bleed into the cup one drop at a time. The door was suddenly jerked open and Stiles startled, getting a drop of blood onto his hand instead of in the cup. Derek stood there staring down at Stiles.

“I don’t like when I can smell your blood and not see you.” He explained and shut the door behind him once he was in.

“Oh yeah. I forgot.” Stiles mumbled and swirled the cup around a few times to mix the blood and saliva. The result was a disdainful pink slime that made Stiles grimace.

Quickly he covered up his cut with the bandage again and set the cup onto the counter before looking at Derek.

“Which would be easier? Tears or jizz?”

“I could probably make it so good you’ll cry.” Derek said in a low voice.

Stiles shivered and looked away from Derek’s heated gaze ‘cause he really needed to think and that look was distracting him.

“You think so? How?”

There was a long enough pause that Stiles looked back at him with uncertainty in his eyes. Derek seemed hesitant and Stiles could understand why. Scott and Isaac were in the next room and they were completely new to this.

“I’m not very good at the dirty talk thing. How about I just do it instead.”

Stiles slowly nodded. “Ok. Yeah, that could work. I mean even if I don’t cry I’ll still get the jizz and everything.”

Derek didn’t respond, simply reached for Stiles. He started first by running his hands down Stiles’ chest and down his sides to the edge of the shirts and ran his fingers along the warm, sensitive skin of Stiles’ hip. Stiles could only watch and spread his legs to let Derek between them, handing his body over to Derek. The edges of his pants were pulled down and Stiles lifted his hips so they were dropped to his ankles. The boxers outlined his cock nicely and Derek ran his fingers slowly over the bulge over and over until it started to stiffen. Pleasure rolled slowly through Stiles, awakening his cock.

The underwear soon joined the pants around his ankles and his cock stood at half-mast in front of Derek who knelt between his legs now. Derek wasted no time getting his lips locked around the head of Stiles dick and the unexpected jolt of sensation made Stiles gasp and heat rocketed straight through him and into his cock. Under the ministrations of Derek’s mouth Stiles’ cock soon stood completely hard and leaking precum onto Derek’s smooth, deft tongue. Hollowing out his cheeks Derek began sucking him hard and fast, not wasting any time on wringing every last sensation and sound out of Stiles.

“D-Derek! Too much! Too soon!” Stiles gasped as coherently as he could.

Derek’s only answer was to hum around him and suck harder making every little feeling more intense. Stiles’ eyes prickled with pleasure tears and he quickly hung his head forward and tried to fumble for the cup. When he reached over the cup wasn’t there and was suddenly there under his eye, catching the tears that dewed the lashes from both the left and right. Stiles barely had time to comprehend that Derek was such a good multitasker before Derek gave a particularly sharp suck and he was suddenly cumming hard. The first spurt hit Derek on the lip but the next was aimed down into the cup. Stiles emptied himself with help from Derek’s hand stroking him lightly through it until finally he collapsed backwards, leaning heavily against the back of the toilet.

“Th-that was…amaaazing.” He groaned and let his head loll backwards.

“Good. Now we have the ‘ink’ done. Get cleaned up and meet us back out there.” Derek instructed as he stood and began washing Stiles’ cum off his chin. Well, what was left of it since he’d licked most of it off.

“Will do.” Stiles gave a thumbs up and watched Derek set the cup down on the counter before exiting the bathroom quickly.

Stiles sat there for a bit longer than necessary, riding out this orgasmic bliss for as long as he could before he had to face whatever horrors came next. Eventually he sat back up and took some toilet paper and wiped his dick clean before pulling his pants back up and grabbing the cup. There was an overwhelming amount of cum in the cup that kind of over powered the rest of the ingredients but it hadn’t specified how much of each was needed so he figured it was all fine.

When he exited the restroom Scott and Isaac were pointedly _not_ looking at Stiles _or_ Derek and were focusing on the map and compass. Stiles caught the tail end of the conversation they were having as he walked up with his embarrassing concoction in hand.

“…need to see if it actually works. Deaton said it did but I’m not so sure.” Scott was saying.

“Maybe we could try it out on the map. If it points to where we want it to then if we want it to point at a specific point on the map it will. The maps already on the ground.”

“That’s a good idea. Who should use up their turn with the compass?”

They all looked at each other for a bit in contemplation before Isaac slowly stepped forward.

“Uhm, I think I should. I don’t think I’ll be very focused out in the storm so it might not work for me. I might as well do it in here were I’m comfortable and focused.”

“Good idea.” Stiles said and motioned Isaac over in front of the map. “Ok, Scott set the compass down in the middle of the bottom edge.” Scott did as he was told. “Now Isaac put your finger on this point and think about the location of the Zud-thingy on the map.”

Isaac bent down and pressed the tip of his index finger to the point that stuck out of the middle of the compass and immediately the dial began to turn. The red arrow turned to the left and they scooted it from the bottom of the page up and to the left until it reached the part of the map where the cluster of warehouses and storage units were within the town. Stiles watched with growing anticipation as it grew closer and closer to the white piece of paper marking the Zud-thingy’s location in his dream. Once it reached that spot it began turning in circles rapidly meaning it was right on top of it.

“We have its location.” Stiles breathed with both dread and eagerness.

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

 “We have the lanterns and flash lights. We have all of the ritual stuff and Derek’s on his way to ask the neighbors for their snow shoes. All that’s left is to bless the knife and be on our merry way.” Isaac said and turned from the table with the moonstone knife in his hand.

Stiles took the knife and sat down at the desk with the ‘ink’ cup set next to him.

“So, what do I write with? I’m gonna need a freakin’ small paint brush or something if I’m gonna pull this off.” Stiles gestured to the one inch moonstone blade.

“Use a Q-tip. It’s small.” Isaac suggested.

Stiles shook his head. “No. Something smaller. My real name isn’t Stiles you know.”

“Actually I didn’t know. What _is_ your real name?”

Scott put a hand on Isaac’s shoulder. “Don’t even try dude. I’ve wanted to know since we were little and I _still_ haven’t found out.”

“Is it that bad?”

“It’s _that_ bad.” Stiles mumbled and thought for a second. “What about the tip of a steak knife? You think that’ll work? You think Derek’ll even let me?”

“It’s worth a shot.” Scott said and ran up the stairs to grab the steak knife.

“You guys will have to keep me warm in that storm.” Stiles said and Isaac nodded quickly.

“Of course. Scott and I huddled together on our way back and it helped stay warmer.”

Stiles gave him a sly look but Isaac’s slightly pink cheeks weren’t faced towards him and were instead focused on Scott as he came rumbling down the stairs steak knife in hand. Scott didn’t give Isaac a second look before walking around him and handing the steak knife to Stiles proudly as if he’d just done something truly great. Stiles felt a flicker of disappointment in Scott and sadness for Isaac before grabbing the knife. The serrated edge pressed into his palm and a flicker of excitement and need fluttered through his belly before he pushed it down and repositioned the knife. He was extremely aware of Scott and Isaac hovering beside him and paused once he had the knife held between his fingers like a pen.

“Uh, guys, I’m about to write in my bodily fluids. Can you not stand so close? A little uncomfortable here.”

“Oh, uh, yeah, sorry dude.” Scott said quickly and backed up, pulling on Isaac’s arm so they were at least five feet away.

Stiles sighed when he looked up to see them both still staring but tried his best to ignore them as he opened the book to the blessing and dipped the knife tip into the ‘ink’. On one side he wrote his name. His actual birth name, not Stiles since it wasn’t actually the name he was born with. The liquid was a very light pink that seemed to almost disappear against the pale blue of the moonstone. Next he began writing the blessing right below his name. It was one short line written in a language he didn’t know. може бити благословени несвет.

“Ok, so my name is done and the blessing is written. What else was it?” he mumbled out loud and looked over Deaton’s sticky note. “Oh yeah… the name of the creature. Do you think just writing ‘Zduhać’ would be enough?”

“I think so. That technically is the name of the creature since it isn’t whoever or whatever it used to be.” Isaac said.

Stiles nodded. “I sure hope we’re right.”

He flipped over the moonstone knife but didn’t let it rest on the table so he didn’t smear the liquid and wrote ‘Zduhać’ onto the blade. As soon as the last letter was written the moonstone blade began to smoke, the vapors not rising but sinking towards the table and dispersing against the wood. The words written turned from their translucent pink to a dark black and sank into the blade. Scott and Isaac gasped while Stiles gave a muffled curse of astonishment. As soon as there was no more smoke pouring off the blade Stiles carefully pressed his fingertip against the letters.

“Holy shit guys. The letters are burnt into the moonstone. I think it worked.”

“Uh, yeah. You could say that.” Scott said, nodding his head vigorously while staring wide eyed at the tiny knife.

“Who knew my jizz was so powerful.” Stiles smirked and held up the knife.

Scott rolled his eyes and Isaac sighed as if exasperated. Stiles just laughed and went back to staring at the engraved words. The door to the loft creaked open and Stiles knew Derek was back. Without looking up he waved his hand in the air.

“Hey Derek! I totally did it!”

There wasn’t an answer for a bit before there was hot breath ghosting past Stiles’ ear.

“…ienim…Stilinski.”

“Nope! Nope, nope, nope!” Stiles flapped his hands around for a bit before he found the case for the dagger and quickly shoved it back into its sheathe. “You’ll never be able to pronounce it so don’t even try. Just forget you ever saw it.”

“I forgot Stiles wasn’t your real name. I’ve never even seen it! Dude, let me see!” Scott exclaimed, suddenly excited about this tidbit of information.

Stiles clutched the dagger to his chest and shook his head. “Nope! Scott if you get any closer I’m going to tell everyone here about that ‘thing’ only I know about.”

Scott looked confused for a second and took another step forward before he froze. “No way. You don’t even remember!”

Stiles gave him an evil grin. “Oh yes I do. It’s right abooout…” Stiles made a little pointing motion towards Scott’s person before Scott quickly held up both hands and backed off.

“Ok ok! I won’t look I swear! Jeesh.”

Isaac and Derek were looking increasingly interested but Stiles just looked smug and tucked the knife into the recesses of the bag they were taking with them.

“I’m going to make a quick sketch of the map from our location to the Zud-thingy’s location.” Isaac said and they all nodded.

“That’s a good idea.” Stiles muttered, wondering why he hadn’t thought of it before.

Isaac was, needless to say, a much better artist than Stiles. Soon they had a miniature version of the map that had a red line running the two point five miles from Derek’s loft to the Zud-thingy’s hide out.

“Ok. Well then, now that we have our weapon, a way of finding the Zud-thingy, and supplies to hopefully keep us alive out in that storm, let’s get goin’!” Stiles said with enthusiasm he didn’t quite feel and jumped to his feet.

They all packed everything up and headed to the door. Stiles doubled up his socks before slipping on the snow shoes and pulled a blanket around his shoulders and over his head to try and keep his head warm. The others did the same and he couldn’t help but snicker at how ridiculous they all looked. The only one who gave Stiles a weird look at his laughter was Isaac and that’s only because the other two were either used to it (Scott) or didn’t care (Derek).

“Ok, once we’re out there we’ll be mostly blinded by the snow. Stiles should stay in the middle so he gets less of the storm.” Scott said and hefted the bag onto his shoulder. “Stiles should have the compass and map.”

Nobody argued since it was a good plan and despite none of them being quite ready to face this they began their ‘adventure’ by closing the door behind them with a bang. The wind blowing up the stairs was absolutely frigid and Stiles felt a shiver go through him at the thought of actually walking in snow.

“You know, I actually really like snow but why couldn’t this thing have the powers of sunlight and cool breezes?” Stiles complained.

“Because then you’d complain about the hot sun and wish for snow and warm fires.” Derek answer and Stiles hit Scott when he laughed.

Scott just laughed again before they all shut up as they stepped off the last stair. It was dark out but Stiles could see the heaps of snow piled at the entrance of the parking garage. There were still dragging footprints from when Scott and Isaac had come in. Well, he assumed it had been them since there was no one else crazy enough to do what they were about to do. Stiles gave a long sigh before pushing Scott in front of him and pulling his sleeves over his hands so he didn’t lose a finger or two…or three…or more…to frostbite. Derek pressed against his side and slung an arm around his waist while Isaac pressed into his other side with an arm around his shoulders. Stiles grabbed Scott’s back and they all climbed over the edge of the heap of snow and were immediately engulfed in the furious blizzard.

Stiles felt the biting wind and freezing snow through all the layers he was wearing and had a brief flare of panic before he felt the arm around his waist squeeze him tight and they were moving again. Stiles remembered from the map that they had to go down a quarter of a mile to the first intersection and make a right. After that there was a long road of about three quarters of a mile before they had to make another right at the second intersection.

The snow was hard to walk on since it was so loose underfoot. The broad snow shoes helped keep most of his feet above the powder but if they paused for too long or if there was a strong gust of wind the snow easily engulfed up to their knees. Derek had to haul him out a couple times before they reached the first right.

Once they reached the intersection Stiles pushed Scott in the right direction and they were off again. The wind came at them hard from this direction and Stiles could already tell that he’d lost feeling in his fingers and toes. He quickly wriggled all of his appendages to make sure he still had them and was relieved when he felt the bite of pain flare through them. As they trudged on he made sure to constantly wriggle them. About half way down the long road Scott veered off to the right and Stiles struggled to hang on before suddenly the wind was no longer beating down on him.

“What the…” he looked up and saw that they were in a small store that had obviously been abandon near the start of the storm since there was untouched snow on every surface from where the windows and door had burst open.

“Stiles, are your feet and hands ok?” Derek asked quickly.

“I d-don’t know. C-cold.” Stiles chattered.

Scott wiped the counter next to the cash register off and Derek hauled Stiles up to sit in the cleared space. Derek tugged off his shoes and socks and wrapped each foot with his warm hand. Scott and Isaac did the same for his hands.

“H-how are y-you all s-so warm-m?”

“We’re werewolves. We burn hotter than humans. I’m amazed you went that long without complaining about your numbness.” Scott muttered.

“My t-teeth w-were weld-ded shut.” Stiles mumbled as he continued to shake in their grasps.

“If I’d known that all it took was a bit of cold to shut you up…” Derek shook his head but didn’t finish his sentence.

Stiles glared at him and wondered briefly what he was thinking before letting it go and focused on getting feeling back into his extremities. After about ten minutes of constant rubbing and wriggling of his fingers and toes Stiles felt all the numbness fade, leaving an unpleasant burning sensation.

“Ok, I’m good. Let’s go. We’ll probably have to stop again in about half a mile but let’s make good time before then!” Stiles ushered and his socks and shoes were tugged back on and he was re-bundled before they headed back out.

Stiles didn’t want to leave the slight reprieve from the storm but he had to with the thought of finally stopping the storm as his motivation. The wind immediately battered them like they were it’s personal enemy, which technically they were, and Stiles cursed every part of the cold and swore up and down that he’d never enjoy the winter or snow or anything cold again. He knew that wasn’t true but at the moment it kept his mind off his once again numbing extremities.

They made it a few hundred feet past the next right turn before they once again ducked into an abandon shop. This shop didn’t have a readily available counter so they sat Stiles on a quickly cleared off section of ground and began warming up his fingers and toes once again. Stiles felt slightly pathetic that he was the only one holding up this little expedition of theirs but didn’t say anything about it. Instead he reached into his shirt where he’d been valiantly protecting the map against the wet and tugged it out, splaying it across his lap and giving his hand back to Scott.

“Ok. We just made our second right turn so we’re about a mile in. Next will be a left at the…” he paused to count the intersections, “fourth intersection then a quick right down a random street. That’ll be the second street we pass by that’s not an intersection. That road will be about half a mile long then we’ll come to a right where there should be a bunch of warehouses and storage units.”

“I know where that is.” Derek mumbled.

“You do? Why didn’t you mention that earlier?” Stiles asked.

Derek glared at him. “I didn’t realize which storage company was being used. My family used to have a storage unit in there but I’d only been there once when I was a kid.”

“And you didn’t remember because…?” Stiles prompted.

“Because the route you explained seemed familiar. I didn’t know.” Derek annunciated as if he were talking to someone incredibly stupid.

Stiles sighed and shook his head. “Ok, ok. I think I’m good to go now guys. Let’s just get this done with.”

Once they were back out into the storm the progress they made seemed quicker. Stiles realized that they’d been relying on him for the directions the whole time and mumbled curses under his breath until Derek’s hand squeezed tightly around his waist. Stiles gave him a sideways look and saw that Derek’s face was closer than he though and he quickly turned his face forward again, feeling much warmer all of a sudden.

They had to stop another three times to warm Stiles back up and almost missed a turn but eventually they made their way through the storm. The sign that had been hanging above the storage center’s entrance was now lying in a heap beneath the snow where it’d been blown down. The gate was still standing though which made getting in a whole lot harder. The four of them just stood there for a bit looking stupid as they tried to figure out how to get them all in. Stiles finally sighed and pulled Scott towards him.

“I would never be able to climb that fence so you guys are going to have to throw me over!” he yelled over the storm. There were looks of surprise and horror but Stiles just kept going. “Derek you’ll throw me and Scott you’ll catch me! You guys can get over no problem I’m sure!”

There were more looks of apprehension before Stiles shoved Scott away. They didn’t argue since it was cold as fuck and they all really just wanted it to be over and done with. Scott and Isaac went up to the fence, dropped their stuff, and vaulted over, landing easily on the other side. Derek threw the stuff over first then gathered Stiles up.

“I could probably jump with you in my arms.” Derek said loudly into Stiles’ ear.

“Don’t chance it buddy!” Stiles yelled back and patted his chest.

Stiles didn’t say it but he was truly worried about whether he’d make it over the fence or smash into it. When Derek drew back to throw him he shut his eyes tight and then he was being launched over the ten foot high fencing. He held himself in a tight ball so his limbs didn’t flail and then gravity caught up to him and he was caught roughly in a pair of arms. He unclenched his eyes and stared up at Scott.

“Holy hell. I’m never doing that again. Thanks!” he said quickly and scrambled out of the cradle of Scott’s arms.

Derek landed a couple inches away from him, startling the shit out of him before they regrouped. Now that they were in the area they had no idea where to go so they walked through the isles between storage sheds until they reached the warehouse fronts. They stopped just inside an old warehouse whose door handle had been rusted to hell and it’d been easy for Scott to break off. Inside was much quieter though just as cold.

“Ok, so we know it’s in one of the storage units or warehouses but we don’t know which one. This is where the compass comes in handy.” Stiles said and pulls it out of his shirt and sets it onto the icy ground. “We’ll take turns using it. Derek should go first, then Scott, then me. As soon as we find where it’s located we’ll need to have a battle plan.”

“Simple. The three of us get you to it and you stab it in the eyes.” Derek says.

Stiles give him a ‘duh’ look. “No shit Sherlock. I mean how are we going to approach it? It’s not like we can just walk in there and be like, ‘Hey we’re here to kill you! Can you hold still so Stiles can stab you in the fucking eyes?’”

“What if we can?” Isaac asks, his eyes far away as he thinks. “Stiles what if you stay out of sight while we distract it and lead it to you? You just have to be close enough to stab it but you don’t have to be the one getting close.”

“That’s actually a good idea. Nice job Isaac!” Scott praises and claps Isaac on the back.

Stiles watches Isaac’s face go redder than the pink it was from the cold and he snickers lightly before turning serious again.

“That might actually work. You guys’ll probably have to hold it so it won’t dart off when it sees me. That’d ruin the whole plan.”

“Once it’s close enough to you we’ll grab it and call out to you.” Derek said.

“Good, good. Now that we have a plan let’s find this son of a bitch.” Stiles growled and placed moved away from the compass on the ground. “Derek.”

Derek leaned down and placed his finger on the point above the compass and they all watched the needle spin twice before settling on north northwest. They all looked out the window of the warehouse in the direction it pointed. It pointed in the direction of the storage units so at least they didn’t have to trudge through all the warehouses. Stiles picked up the compass once Derek had righted himself and they huddled together again as they stepped out into the blizzard. They made their way north northwest for a while, walking between storage units until they were near the middle. In the middle of the isle they dug down to the ground which was covered by a foot and a half of snow and placed the compass onto the ground again. This time when Scott placed his finger on the point it spun directly towards the W. Directly west was about three containers in a row so they marched over to the middle one and dug to the ground again. The needle pointed straight at the container before spinning once and pointing at the container again. It continued to do this several times before Isaac stepped up to the large storage unit.

“Um, guys? Derek? You might want to see this.” Isaac said to them over the roar of the wind.

Stiles scooped up the compass and crowded in with the others as they bent to look closely at the side of the container where Isaac was pointing.

_T. & E. Hale._

“Dude. This was your family’s storage unit.” Stiles says quietly, knowing they could all hear him.

Derek doesn’t say anything but Stiles can see the slight nod in answer. They stare at the name for a bit longer before Derek reaches out to touch the name plate before backing up quickly.

“Let’s just get this over with.” Derek growls and turns towards the door.

There’s a heavy lock secured to the handle but it doesn’t hold up against a pissed off werewolf’s strength. It snaps easily and Derek stuffs the twisted metal into his pocket before tugging the door open slowly. Stiles is quickly stuffed between Scott’s back and Isaac’s front before they shuffle inside. It’s pitch black inside and the wall Stiles is shoved against is no warmer than the snow he’d been trudging through. Quickly he squats into the corner and tries to make himself as small as possible. It’s completely quiet and the stillness in the air seems to make the werewolves even tenser. Stiles reaches out until he can feel Isaac and Scott’s legs and pushes them away from him. They seem to get the memo because the bag is dropped next to him and he can hear the shuffle of their feet as they scurry away from him.

“Hey!”

Derek’s shout echos throughout the empty space, startling Stiles and suddenly it’s not so calm anymore. Wind whips furiously around them, making them all throw their hands up to shield their faces and just like that it’s no longer pitch black. Pure white replaces the black and if Stiles weren’t pressed up against the container walls he’d say he was in a vast empty space. Suddenly the ‘dream’ he had was fresh in his mind. The eerie quiet that makes his ears ring even though the wind is whipping around him so furiously. He can see the other three off to the right looking at him and each other in astonishment. Cautiously and with little movement he lifts a finger and points forward and to the left, motioning in the direction from his ‘dream’. Quickly they set off, leaving Stiles there in the bitter cold.

Stiles knows that the space he’s in now is not the same space he’d stepped into when he’d stumbled into the storage unit. This space was bigger than a simple storage shed. Or maybe he was just smaller since he could still feel the walls around him. He didn’t know. What he did know was that he could no longer see or hear the others, just the empty whiteness. Quickly he dug through the ice covered bag in search of the knife and felt relief flood through him when his fingers wrapped around the cold, leather sheathe. He pulled it out and clutched it to his chest as he waited for the others to come into sight.

The silence weighed heavily on his mind as he waited. He wondered if time was also different in this odd space because it felt like hours since the other had left him. The wind felt colder without the sound to go along with it for some reason. Stiles tugged the blanket closer around him, breaking a thin layer of ice that had formed on it. He wanted to get up and go after the others but he knew that wasn’t the plan. The stillness was making him fidgety and his toes twitched restlessly inside his shoes. His fingers began tapping out a mindless rhythm and he almost started humming before a sound broke through the silence.

“ _…usting.”_

Stiles listened harder and words floated towards him.

“ _Disgusting, nasty, vile, damned creatures. What are they doing in my space?_ My space! _They should be dead! Wiped out, decimated, destroyed, annihilated.”_

Stiles felt horror crash through him. The others hadn’t been able to find the creature but the creature knew about them. Their plan was a bust and the others didn’t even know about it. Stiles stood fast, throwing off the blanket and taking off at a run towards the sound. The snow shoes clacked noisily as he ran so he stumbled to a halt and threw those off as well. He was absolutely freezing but he had to get to that thing before it got to them.

_“Teach them a lesson. Teach them to never come back! Make them suffer.”_

Stiles ran hard over the ice slick ground until he could make out a shape in the wind. Flurries of movement confirmed that it was the creature and not one of the others since they didn’t have twig thin arms or wear nothing but a white fur skin. Stiles clutched the dagger’s end and pulled it from its sheathe and slowed his pace to a walk so his running wouldn’t give away his presence.

_“Oh young Spark! You’re back! But you brought the nasties with you.”_

Stiles was startled as the thing turned in its crouch to stare at Stiles with its unblinking, unnatural eyes. Stiles came to a full stop and hid the knife behind his leg.

“You’re going to destroy Beacon Hills. There are hundreds, maybe thousands of innocent humans here!”

 _“Oh I know! This place needs to be purged of its rottenness. Those humans are rotten too.”_ The creature spat.

Stiles froze as he tried to think of some way to get close to the creature. It was still a good six or seven feet from him, not close enough to throw the knife with enough accuracy or force. A slow idea formed in Stiles mind and he went with it since there was nothing better.

“You’re right.”

The creature’s head whipped around to stare at him. _“What?”_

“I said you’re right.” Stiles let all of the tension drain out of his pose and he gave a seemingly nonchalant shrug. “This town is really rotten. Now that you mention it I can really see how truly _disgusting_ this place actually is. All those inhuman things and those evil humans not doing anything about it. You’re absolutely right. This place is better off gone.”

 _“Right, right, right! Putrid, horrid, nasty, vile place this is. Needs to be cleansed. Become pure once more. That’s what I’m doing.”_ The thing pauses and stares at Stiles again. _“You aren’t pure either you know. But more pure than most here. Children are the most pure. But still all so nasty!”_

Stiles has the briefest flicker of annoyance as he realizes the Zduhać is talking about his virginity.  Quickly he schools his features into one of sad understanding.

“You’re absolutely right. I am not pure. But only because those _nasty_ and _vile_ things have tainted me.” He puts on a pleading face. “Isn’t there any way to cleanse me? Can you do it? Maybe then I can help you get rid of this _rotten_ town.”

The Zduhać’s face seemed to grow more grotesque, if possible, as it’s slack mouth pulled up into a grin.

_“Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes! First you must rid yourself of your tainted attire. It stains your skin of putrid creatures.”_

Stiles quickly divests himself of his clothing piece by piece. As he’s slipping his shirt off he leaves the knife in the sleeve, hidden from the Zduhać. Soon he’s standing as naked as he’d been in his ‘dream’, his skin prickling with cold.

_“The arms too. There’s nasties clinging on to those too.”_

Stiles looks at his arms and realizes that it means the bandages Derek had done for him around his cuts. Gripping the edge of the bandage he tugs and the bandages unravel and fall from his arms, exposing his healing scabs to the winds.

“See? I was trying to cleanse myself but it wasn’t very successful. I know that if you do it then you can make me pure again.”

 _“You’re a Spark but you are more pure. Hmm. Come closer Spark!”_ the creature yelled at him.

Stiles looks at his sleeve with the hidden dagger laying at his feet and picks up a foot. As he does his other foot slips a little on the ice and he puts his foot back down.

“I would follow your every command but I am simply too weak to make it over to you. I am so sorry.” He hangs his head in mock sorrow, his already frantic heartbeat picking up speed in fear that this might not work.

The Zduhać stares at him for long seconds while he bows his head until finally it scoots forward, dragging itself along the ice with its hands, the feet sliding beneath it. Finally it stops mere inches from Stiles. At this angle Stiles realizes how small it really is. Like this the creature only comes up to his waist.

_“Kneel! Kneel you tainted thing! Disgusting, despicable thing!”_

Stiles quickly complies, getting down on his knees, his hands flat against the ice to keep him from falling over. The knife is mere inches away from his fingers but he doesn’t want to draw attention to it so he waits as the creature gets close to his face.

_“Your skin is tainted but the rest is still pure. Inside is good. Outside is so very bad. Unpleasant. Tainted.”_

“What must I do?” Stiles asks, making his voice sound almost reverent towards this creature.

_“Cleanse the skin! Take the skin. Remove the skin. Regrow the skin. Take the tainted and make it pure!”_

The thing lets out the most unpleasant, grating laugh Stiles had ever heard and while its face is still upturned his fingers slide along the ice until they clutch around the knife’s handle. He pulls it into his grasp and a feeling of triumph spreads through him until he’s able to squash it down. It’s too early for that still. The thing is still laughing so Stiles lifts his arm, trying to make it so the rest of his body doesn’t move, and jerks the end of the blade straight into the left eye of the creature. Immediately the laughter is replaced by screeching and half formed screams of hideous words. Stiles yanks the blade out and pushes the creature to the ground by its neck. The creatures limbs flail, catching Stiles violently in the chest and stomach, everywhere it can reach. The wind becomes fiercer until it almost throws Stiles off. Quickly, before his opportunity is lost, Stiles drives the blade into the other eye and pushes with all his might. The screaming becomes louder and the black blood of the creature covers his hands. Smoke begins rising from its eyes and Stiles lifts the blade again and plunges it into the creatures eyes over and over again.

Stiles becomes lost in the horror and blind slashing and doesn’t realize that the screaming has stopped. He doesn’t realize that the wind is no longer blowing. His eyes are clenched shut so he doesn’t know that the vast white room had turned into a pitch black space. He doesn’t even realize that he’s sobbing uncontrollably until there are arms clutching at his, pulling him off of the dead, mutilated creature in his arms. Nothing registers until there is warmth covering his frozen body.

“Stiles. Stiles. It’s ok. Come on Stiles.”

A warm voice is murmuring in his ear and finally his fingers become slack and the blessed moonstone blade drops from his grasp and he’s completely slack in Derek’s arms as he cradles him. He sobs loudly and brokenly, shivering violently against Derek’s warm body. His chest is tight and he feels like he’s not getting enough air. Suddenly there’s no air in the room and he’s pushing at Derek’s chest, gasping.

“Derek let go. He’s having a panic attack. He needs space.” Scott’s voice makes it through the panic in Stiles’ brain.

There’s a flicker of light in his vision and he can see the three werewolves past the haze of his panic. Scott’s face swims closer as he flails around, grasping for air.

“Stiles calm down. Look at me! Focus Stiles! How many fingers am I holding up? Come on, count!”

Stiles grabs onto Scott’s arm hard and stares at his hand.

“F-five.”

One finger curls away.

“F-f-four.”

Stiles gulps in air as he watches another finger curl.

“Three.”

Breaths come easier.

“Two.”

There’s only a pointer finger left.

“One.”

He breathes in deeply and collapses in on himself, exhaustion seeping in. Derek catches him before he can fall to the floor and he curls into the warmth. He’s shivering now that the panic has finally abated. A blanket settles over his naked form and for a second he realizes he should be incredibly embarrassed by having his junk exposed to everyone but then he brushes it off figuring he can save that for later. Right now he’s cold and exhausted and he just wants to sleep right there.

“Tired.”

“Yeah. We’ll wait here for morning.” Derek says quietly, his chest rumbling under Stiles’ ear.

“Good.”

Stiles doesn’t stay conscious long enough to ask where they’d been or what happened. He’s out like a light.

 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

When Stiles came to he was wrapped in warmth and more comfortable than he could ever remember being. Except for that time when he was 8 when he’d been snuggled between his mom and dad after a nightmare. Nothing could quite beat that. There were sounds of light breaths around him and whatever he was pressed against had a loud heartbeat. Slowly he lifted his head and was slightly horrified that his cheek came away wet. Quickly he wiped his face free of his slobber but sadly he couldn’t do much about the cooling wet patch left on the shirt of the unlucky person beneath him. Even though his eyes were open it was pitch black, making his heart beat just a little harder. Beneath him the person stirred and suddenly large arms were pulling him back down.

“What is it Stiles?” Derek’s sleepy voice whispered in his ear.

“The thing. The Zduhać is still in here. It’s body…” a finger comes to rest on his lips and the warmth of it sweeps over his mouth and seems to warm his cheeks as well.

“Shh, we took care of that last night.” Derek whispers and Stiles can feel the warmth of his breath wash over his ear and neck.

Slowly his heartbeats slow until his heart is beating normally again within his chest pressed against Derek. There’s a knock against his calf and he jerks in surprise when a hand wraps around his ankle.

“Hey buddy, you doin’ ok?” Scott’s sleepy voice asks around a yawn.

“Can we turn on a light so Isaac doesn’t scare the crap outta me too?” Stiles bites out as he settles a hand onto his chest and he pushes himself up until he’s straddling Derek’s thighs.

The blanket that had been thrown over him slides down his shoulders and he quickly grabs at it to cover himself before a lantern blares to life off to his left. He squints into the sudden light and watches as Isaac presses his face into Scott’s chest with a groan and just manages not to snicker. Derek shifts beneath him, his hands coming up from his sides to settle on Stiles’ thighs.

“Ugh, what the?” he grimaces as he glances down at his chest.

“Ah, yeah, there are some hazards when it comes to sleeping next to or, in this case, under me. I tend to drool in my sleep when I’m seriously exhausted.”

He hears Scott and Isaac unsuccessfully smother their laughter as Derek gives him a baleful glare. Stiles just grins and wipes at the now cold puddle of drool seeping into Derek’s shirt.

“It’ll dry.” He promises.

Derek sits up all the way and suddenly Stiles is face to face with him and the close proximity has him scooting back carefully along Derek’s legs.

“Uh, I just realized I’m still naked. Do you guys see my clothes anywhere?”

Derek’s eyes immediately shoot downward to where Stiles’ dick is pressed against his leg and his nostrils flare, taking in the sudden scent of arousal that burst through Stiles. Scott makes a strangled noise and something is thrown non too gently at the back of his head, forcing his face to smoosh into Derek’s shoulder.

“Ouch. Noses are delicate!” he whines as he pulls himself back again.

“I’m delicate Stiles! Keep your lovey-dovey-ness to yourself! I don’t need to be smelling that so early in the morning.”

“Oh whatever. As if I didn’t have to put up with your ‘lovey-dovey-ness’ for months.” Stiles was rewarded by Scott sticking out his tongue. “Mature.”

“Yeah, yeah. Hurry up and put your pants back on. We’ve gotta get home soon. I’m sure your dad and my mom are frantic with worry.”

“You’re probably right.”

There was a sudden longing in Stiles’ chest to see his dad. The ache had him scooting off of Derek’s lap, whom had been simply watching Stiles talk, bringing the blanket with him so he wasn’t showing his ass off to everyone.

“Oh dude, my ribs are a fucking mess!” he groaned as he took in the purple and blue splotches scattered across his torso from where the Zduhać had been struggling against him.

“Let me see.” Derek growled and before Stiles could protest he was right in front of him.

“Ok then, not like my pride is already damaged enough.” Stiles griped as he snaked a hand down in front of him to cover his junk.

“I’ve already seen it.”

“Totally not the point here Derek!” he stage whispered as Scott made gacking noises behind him. Isaac was thankfully silent.

Questing fingers pressed delicately into the swollen flesh drawing hisses from between Stiles’ teeth. Suddenly the pain seemed to fade away as if it were being drained from him and he let out a sigh of relief before he figured out just what was going on.

“Hey! Stop that!” he slapped Derek’s hands away. “I don’t need any of your werewolf mojo. I thought you couldn’t even do that anymore!”

“I’ve been practicing. Hold still and just let me do this.”

Stiles wrapped the blanket firmly around him and backed up a bit. “No! I’m perfectly fine. I’m a big boy and I don’t need any magical werewolf mojo to get through this.”

Derek gave him an exasperated sigh. “Stiles just let me do this! I wasn’t of any use earlier and you had to take care of that thing yourself. Just… come back over here.” There was a pause then, “Please.”

Well, when he put it that way. Stiles grumbled nonsensically beneath his breath but took a couple steps back towards Derek. Over his shoulder he could hear Scott and Isaac beginning to move around but he didn’t look in favor of watching Derek. Derek’s fingers parted the blanket and slipped around his hips, holding him there for a few seconds before his hands slid up the mottled skin to rest lightly on one of the nastier bruises. Stiles couldn’t help the relieved sigh as the pain again began to fade away little by little, being drained from his body. The ache was replaced by a subtle tightness of his skin and by that point he was fully relaxed. Gently he plucked Derek’s hands away and knit his fingers with his own.

“Thanks.” He said with fervor before letting go to pick up the pants he’d dropped before.

Derek didn’t say anything, just watched as Stiles pulled on the sweatpants, covering him once more from his intense gaze.

“Hey Scott, is my shirt over there t…oof. Thanks.” Stiles mumbles around the shirt tossed into his face when he’d turned to talk to Scott.

“Come on, hurry up you two! I wanna go home! Actually I want to go over to the school and grab my bike then go home. Hey Stiles…”

“Nope. Not doin’ it. I’m taking my Jeep after I get my stuff from Derek’s and headed home to my dad. I have to make sure he’s ok and has been eating right while I was gone. Make sure he has all his toes and…” Stiles continues to grumble as he slips off the blanket and tugs the shirt over his pale, bruised torso, letting the sleeves cover his still healing cuts.

It’s cold in the storage container but not as absolutely frigid as it’d been before he’d killed the creature. When he turned towards the others he took his time to gaze around at the stuff around him. It was quite a large storage unit and they were in the left corner near the sealed door. Lined against the wall and piled from the back of the unit was heaps upon heaps of stuff. Boxes, furniture, a couple bikes, and just random stuff. He looked towards Derek and saw him looking with him.

“This stuff is all yours now isn’t it. Did you know it was here?” Stiles asked quietly.

Derek gave a stiff shake of his head and got up. Stiles hung back with Scott and Isaac as Derek moved across the dusty floor to inspect the long forgotten junk of his past. Stiles felt the need to turn away after a few minutes as if to give Derek some privacy with his parents’ stuff. He shuffled over to where Isaac was hunched over the bag and bent down to start putting things that’d spilled out of it back into it. When Isaac didn’t move and continued to stare at Derek with sad, puppy eyes he gently bumped him on the top of the head and handed him the bag to hold open. Scott sat there for a while longer, staring at Derek and at the stuff he was going through before he moved to help get the rest of the stuff into the back and hefted it onto his shoulder.

“All the stuff is…”

Stiles clamped a hand over Scott’s mouth and pulled him towards the door. Luckily Scott got it after a couple seconds and allowed himself to be dragged to the door. Isaac swung the heavy metal door outwards and when Stiles stepped out he saw an ashy black dusting covering the three foot area of concrete that was cleared of snow in front of the door. A horrible realization dawned on him when he remembered Derek saying they’d ‘taken care of it’. The Zduhać was nothing more than ashes scattered in the wind now.

“Let’s go.” Derek’s gruff voice from behind him startled him out of his horrified staring.

“Yeah.”

None of them said another word as they piled out into the snow and the heavy door was once more shut behind them with a quiet clang. Scott boosted Stiles onto the bank of snow surrounding them and they were finally on their way back to Derek’s place. A solemn silence settled over them as they walked under the still dark clouds. Stiles still needed to stop frequently to warm up but it was better than the night before. None of them brought up the dead Zduhać or Derek’s parent’s stuff until they were finally on the stretch of road leading back to the parking garage.

“So, are you guys going to tell me how you obliterated all traces of that thing after I killed it?” Stiles asked, his breath puffing out into the frigid air.

No one answered for a minute before Scott spoke up.

“We used the oil from the lantern to soak it then tossed a match on it.”

“Where was it? We were in that white space before I killed it and transported us, or whatever, back into the storage unit.”

“It was right next to you in the middle of the storage unit. The three of us ended up right in front of the door again. I don’t know how.”

“Oh yeah. Where’d you guys even go? I couldn’t see you guys or hear you guys or anything.”

Derek growled lowly, angrily. “We couldn’t hear it or smell it so we were just blindly running around hoping we’d run into it. There was no way to track it and we didn’t know how big that place was. It was endless.”

Stiles nodded. It sort of made sense. They’d been going after a powerful supernatural creature after all. He was silent for a few minutes as the trudged through the thick snow before once again breaking the silence.

“So, who cleaned me off last night? I mean, I was covered in that thing’s blood from head to toe.”

There was more silence and Stiles looked up from the white snow to look at the three confused faces staring at him.

“There was no blood. It was just a smoking corpse by the time we got there.” Isaac explained.

Stiles frowned, his brows furrowing deeply. “No, there was black blood all over me. It smeared all over my arms and got on my face…it was _all_ over.”

“The smoke was black and was leaking from the wounds but there was nothing on you.”

Stiles stared at Isaac in disbelief then at Scott and finally Derek. They really had no idea what he was talking about. Slowly he took a steadying breath so he wouldn’t start shouting and just nodded.

“Ok, maybe it turned into the smoke because I know for certain that there was blood. I’m not crazy you guys.”

Scott and Isaac nodded while Derek just stared. Stiles glared at him before he gave a curt nod. Their arrival at the parking garage stilted all argument on Stiles lips since there were already people making their way out of the elevator and towards the calm snow. A lady with flouncy brown hair spoke to them as soon as they were inside.

“Is the storm finally gone? Is it over? What does it look like out there?”

Stiles stopped but the other three kept walking. When Scott stopped to look back at him he waved him off.

“I’ll catch up.”

Stiles turned back to the lady who stared up at him with wide eyes. “I’m pretty sure it’s over. It hasn’t snowed and the wind hasn’t been blowing since late last night. The snow’s about five feet deep on every surface.”

A man with thick glasses and a balding scalp walked up beside the woman. “Were you fellas out there the entire time?” he asked disbelievingly.

Stiles shook his head which dislodged some snow that had probably fallen from the trees onto his head. “No. There was an emergency last night and I had to leave in the middle of the night. I almost didn’t make it to my destination. I’d suggest waiting until the sun comes out and starts melting the snow before you go out there. It’s going to flood. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m freezing and need a hot shower.”

The small crowd that had gathered let him through immediately and he completely ignored the stairs, going directly for the elevator. Once the doors had pinged closed he slumped against the wall and took some deep breaths. He felt slightly crazed after everything that had happened and thinking back through it had him fighting another panic attack. When the elevator pinged again to let him know he’d arrived at his destination he was calm enough to step out without shaking.

The door to Derek’s loft had been left open for him but the others were nowhere to be seen. He shucked it shoes and soggy blanket by the door and walked over to Derek’s drawers. There were no more pants but there was one shirt left so he grabbed that and shucked the rest of his clothes. He’d just pulled the oversized shirt on when Derek came out of the bathroom, steam trailing after him.

“Uhm, sorry but this is the last shirt.” Stiles said as he pointedly avoided Derek’s bare chest.

“It’s fine. These are the last pants.”

“Yeah…yeah. I’ll just use a blanket. I’m used to that.”

“You should take a quick shower then get under the covers.” Derek said and pointed to his bed as he finished toweling off his head.

“Ok. I’ll just…use the towel from before and…shower.” Stiles mumbled and hurried to the bathroom, hands clutching the shirt against his bare legs.

The water was blessedly hot when he turned on the faucet and stepped under the stream, shirt hung over the knob of the door to hold it closed. His cold digits felt like they were boiling for a while before they thawed and warmed up to the temperature of the water. Stiles sighed and relaxed against the warm tiles of the shower wall, letting the tension roll off him like the water. He stood there for a good twenty minutes without thinking about a single thing before he realized he was probably using all the hot water and Scott and Isaac were going to want a shower too. Quickly he shampooed his hair and soaped his body and rinsed off, shutting off the water not five minutes later. The towel he’d used before had been hung up and he quickly pressed his face into the dry fabric.

Once he was dry and clothed (kinda) again his eyes were drooping and felt like his exhaustion was bone deep. He didn’t bother to clutch the shirt to his legs like before and simply walked out of the bathroom after hanging up his towel and collapsed onto the bed with a long, loud yawn. Slowly he crawled under the comforter and sheet and pulled them up to his chin. When he opened his eyes he saw Isaac already dead asleep on the couch and Scott not far behind. Huh, maybe he hadn’t needed to hurry. Oh well, too late now.

His sleep was deep and uninterrupted and he woke five hours later with a warm body pressed against his back and an arm slung across his midsection. Deep breaths washed over his neck and he shivered slightly at the goosebumps that rose on his skin. He gently turned his head to get a glimpse of Derek’s sleeping face and wasn’t disappointed by the calm, peaceful look on Derek’s face. The angry lines of his brow were smooth and the normal downturn of his lips was straightened. Stiles felt a tightening in his chest and turned back to stare at the couch where Scott and Isaac were cuddled together and still fast asleep. The light in the room was dim but there were stray beams of sunlight streaming through cracks in the coverings.

It was another hour or so before Derek stirred and Stiles had been dozing lightly, immediately awoken by the slight shift of Derek’s body. Stiles turned onto his back to look at Derek who stared back with sleepy eyes, his face still relaxed.

“Well, hi there.” He whispered, not wanting the others to wake up just yet.

“Hey.” He grumbled and Stiles felt his heart skip a beat at the sleep roughened voice. He could get used to hearing that more often.

“There’s sun now.”

The room was bright with early afternoon sun, the dissipating clouds doing little to block out the brightness now. Derek hummed his agreement and pressed his face into Stiles’ shoulder, hiding from the light. Stiles smiled gently and stared up at the odd ceiling for a while longer before Derek moved off of him completely.

“I wasn’t done with your warmth.” Stiles mock complained, smile still in place.

Derek just kept moving and Stiles turned his head to look at him in time to catch a full bodied stretch as Derek stood up. The muscles in his back stretched out as he lifted his arms and the pants were low slung on his hips, showing off the dimples at the base of his spine. Stiles’ smile grew less decent as he stared before quickly turning away so Derek didn’t catch him staring.

“The roads are cleared.” Derek said from the window and Stiles bolted up on the bed.

Several emotions crashed through him, surprise, happiness, longing (to see his dad), sadness (at having to leave), before settling back down to acceptance.

“Cool. Should I get ready to leave?”

Derek nodded without turning away from the window. “You need to get Scott and Isaac home and you need to get back to your dad.”

Stiles nodded before he remembered Derek couldn’t see him. “Yeah. I should make sure he still has all ten toes and fingers. I’m sure both my dad and Mrs. McCall are worried out of their minds about us.”

“The sooner you leave the better it’ll be.”

Stiles was sure he didn’t mean for it to sound so harsh but the words still stung him right in the chest. Quickly he covered it up by clearing his throat loudly.

“I should wake them up then.” He said quickly and a little louder than necessary.

Stiles pushed aside the covers and ignored the sharpness in his chest. The concrete was still cold under his bare feet and the air cold on his bare legs but he paid it no mind. The other two were still deeply asleep when Stiles shook them both by the shoulders. Slowly they came to, groaning about the light and begging to be left alone. Persistently Stiles shook them before dragging their heavy asses entirely off the couch and onto the cold floor. Immediately the two were up and scrambling back onto the couch.

“Come on you pansies. It’s time to get going. The roads are clear.” Stiles said quickly and left them to their waking up.

His backpack and clothes were still by the door so he scooped up his jeans and shirt to change into and headed to the bathroom. The pain in his chest just would _not_ subside no matter how much he pushed at it. He stared at his pathetic reflection in the mirror until he could hear Scott and Isaac start up some argument about whether they should eat or not before they left. Quickly he tugged off Derek’s shirt and pulled on his clothes, shoving down the stupid emotions in his chest so the others couldn’t sense them. When he walked out Derek was nowhere to be seen and Scott and Isaac were already changed into the clothes they came in.

“So we thought it’d be a better idea to wait until we got home to eat since there isn’t much left here.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea. Let’s get going.” Stiles said with no emotion and grabbed his backpack, slipping on his shoes with no socks.

“Ok. Let me grab my stuff.” Scott said and quickly ran around, gathering all the stuff they’d come with until it was shoved into his backpack and slung over his shoulder.

Scott tugged open the door and Isaac followed him out. Stiles hesitated for a bit, looking back into the loft but Derek was still out of sight. Well, if he didn’t want to see him off that was his problem, not Stiles’. And with that he shut the door behind him with a heavy clang. Going down the elevator Scott and Isaac carried on an excited chat about finally getting some real food to eat and burying themselves in their beds until summer. Stiles was silent through the whole thing until they piled into the Jeep. 

“Stiles, think you could drop us off at the grocery store?” Scott asked as he climbed in after Isaac and shut the door.

“Sure, no problem. You guys want me to wait for you?”

“Nah, we’ll walk home.”

“You’re going to his house Isaac?”

“Yeah, I offered him a place to stay for a while. Besides, my mom won’t mind.”

Stiles nodded and started the Jeep. It took two tries before the vehicle rumbled to life beneath them and Stiles put it in gear, pulling out of the parking garage and into the newly plowed and salted roads. There were a surprising amount of people on the highway and Scott chalked it up to people rushing to see if their families were ok after being caught in the storm. Stiles didn’t argue and simply drove through the traffic.

Once Scott and Isaac were dropped off at the grocery store near Scott’s home Stiles took off and headed home. It’d only been about two weeks since he drove through but the landscape was completely different. Trees were toppled from the wind and the weight of the snow; houses were either completely destroyed or damaged. Cars were leaning at odd angles against snow, houses, trees or other cars. People were milling about, talking to each other or assessing the damage. The power was still out and for good reason too. Power lines lay everywhere. Stiles even had to drive across a few that lay in the road.

Stiles pulled up to his house but had to park on the road since the driveway was covered in snow. Quickly he jumped out and walked around his Jeep to the other side. Pulling open the passenger’s door he yanked out his backpack and was about to close the door but a flash of yellow caught his eye. Turning back he peered under his seat and yanked out a small package from under his seat. It must have fallen down onto the floor then been shoved under by either Scott’s or Isaac’s feet. Stiles stared it, confused. He didn’t remember receiving any package. He shrugged and slammed the door closed, shoving the package into his backpack before slinging it over his shoulder.

When he walked towards his house he was met with a wall of snow only about a foot shorter than he was and he sighed loudly. How was he ever going to get to the door? Carefully he shoved aside snow with his bare hands, quickly losing feeling in his fingers before he was able to pull himself on top of the packed snow. It was difficult to walk across the snow to his house without sinking into it but finally he was able to grab ahold of the roof above his front door. Peering towards the front door he let out a groan of annoyance. There was no way he’d be able to get in since the door wasn’t even visible with all the snow that’d been blown onto it.

Slowly he walked towards the tree that he often used to sneak out and quickly climbed up the rough bark until he was able to set foot on the roofing above his window. He never locked his window and he was counting on the fact that his dad respected his privacy and hadn’t locked it while he was away. Carefully he trudged through the snow on the small section of roofing until he was able to get to his window.  He dusted away all the gathered snow and ice and slid his numb fingers along the bottom. When he fingers found purchase on the rough wood he yanked and was rewarded with the slide of wood as his window opened. It took a bit of wriggling until he was able to open it enough for him to push his backpack in and wriggle in after it.

“Infiltration: Success.” He mumbled cheesily before turning back around and closing his window.

It was almost just as cold inside as it was outside and he shivered as his breath clouded in the air. Looking around he saw that ice had gathered on several surfaces. It was going to be a bitch to dry everything when the ice melted. He left his backpack where it was beneath the window and made a beeline for his closet. Yanking it open he stripped out of his dirty clothes and into some thick, warm sweats. He pulled down a thick blanket from the top shelf of his closet before sliding it closed. After he was finally on his way to warming up he ran out of his room and down the stairs.

“Dad! Hey, dad! Are you here?! Are you ok?!” he yelled before he’d even gotten to the stairs.

“Stiles?!”

His dad’s surprised voice echoed up to him from the living room and he sighed in relief.

“I had to climb in through my window since the door is completely blocked.” He said once he was on the first floor.

His dad came rushing out of the living room in several pairs of sweats and threw his arms around his son. Stiles was surprised at the suddenness of the hug but was quick to return it. They stood there for a while longer until Papa Stilinski patted his back and let go.

“You have no idea how worried I was.”

“Oh trust me, I know. I was just as worried about you.” Stiles said with a smile.

Papa Stilinski shook his head as he smiled before nodding once. “I guess you do then. How was everything at Derek’s? Are Scott and Isaac ok too?”

“Yeah, everyone’s fine. Derek’s place was probably better than here since he was able to turn on the backup generators and water reserves after a while.”

“That’s good. Everything was fine here. I was living off of cold cuts and canned food and was starting to get worried about the supply when the storm finally cut out this morning.”

Stiles opened his mouth to ask what _exactly_ he’d been eating when the mention of food made his stomach rumble rather rudely. Papa Stilinski immediately leveled a glare at him.

“Was Derek feeding you properly?”

“Yes dad. I just left in a hurry when I woke up and didn’t eat before jetting over here. I dropped Scott and Isaac off at the store before coming here.”

The Sheriff nodded and didn’t ask anymore though his eyes were still narrowed in suspicion.

“Well, let’s get something for you to eat. We’re out of bread so no sandwiches. There’s still some canned stuff and I don’t know how good the stuff in the fridge is after sitting in there with no power.”

“Let’s go check.”

They both made their way to the kitchen and his dad gestured to the fridge and Stiles pulled a face at having to be the one to open it. He pulled it open without hesitation since there was no use putting it off and was extremely glad when no foul odors assaulted his nose. Pushing stuff around in the fridge he assessed the damage.

“Well, it seems it was just cold enough in here to avoid anything really spoiling. However, the potato salad and cheese is going to have to go since they’re past their expiration date. So is the milk.” Stiles pulled an ‘ick’ face as he closed the fridge again.

He pulled open the freezer next and was glad to see that everything was still mostly frozen. There was still no power so he shut the door again without pulling anything out since he wouldn’t be able to cook or defrost it.

“I’ll just open a can of whatever’s still in the pantry.” Stiles mumbled and walked past his dad and tugged open the pantry door.

The supply of food was indeed dwindling. All of the health bars he bought for his dad were gone. All the bread was gone along with the peanut butter and jelly. There were a few cans of vegetables and beans and a single fruit cup left. Stiles glanced out of the door towards the fruit basket and saw that it was empty as well. Well, at least he was glad to know that his dad had been eating right while he was gone. Sort of. Stiles grabbed a can of beans and the fruit cup and shut the pantry door behind him on the way out. Quickly he hunted down a fork and a can opener from their respective drawers. The Sheriff joined him when he sat down at the kitchen table.

“So, are you going to tell me what caused this freak storm?”

Stiles nodded as he pressed the blade of the can opener into the metal and twisted it until the lid popped off. As he ate he explained about everything that had happened while at Derek’s, leaving out the cutting and the sexy times with Derek. He finished his food before he finished talking so he sat there as he finally explained what he’d done and when he finished they sat in an uncomfortable silence. John stared at his son for a while and saw the dark circles under his eyes and the paleness of his skin. There was guilt swimming in those honey brown eyes that pulled at the Sheriff’s heart.

“You know you didn’t do anything wrong, right? That creature had no right to do what it did and had fed you lies. If you believe it then I raised you damn wrong.”

Stiles was startled at the severity in his dad’s voice and jerked his gaze up to meet his dad’s. There was anger and concern in that gaze and he felt his heart clench a bit.

“You and Scott and Isaac and whatever other supernatural force is out there has every right to exist as long as you’re not, you know, totally demented. Like that thing.” Papa Stilinski continued.

Stiles nodded and looked down guiltily.

“Now, enough of this. It’s over and it’s time the think about how to fix this mess. We still have that shovel in the garage right?” Stiles shrugged. “Well guess who’s going to go look for it then?”

Stiles couldn’t help but crack a grin at that and shook his head. “How about I do that tomorrow. I’m still really tired from everything that’s happened and am in desperate need of a warm bed.”

“Good luck with the warm part but the bed part is doable.” Papa Stilinski joked and patted his son on the shoulder as they got up.

Once his trash was thrown away and the fork was put in the trash Stiles walked with his dad to his little nest he’d made on the sofa in the living room.

“You are so taking care of this.” Stiles mumbled, looking at the mess of blankets, trash, and different objects of entertainment.

“Yeah, yeah. Go to bed grumpy pants. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“’Kay. G’night dad.”

Stiles trudged back up to his room and shut the door behind him. He was indeed exhausted and if the bed weren’t slightly wet he’d collapse onto it. Instead he tugged off the comforter and felt along the mattress to make sure it was dry. Once he’d confirmed that it was indeed dry he switched out his pillows and blankets with one from the closet that had been spared the icing and half made his bed before collapsing into it.

When his body had settled his mind finally started working again. He was back in his room, staring out the darkening window. Alone. There was no warm, comforting presence at his back. There was no hand slipping around his middle or body meeting his back. He was alone with the cold and that hurt. It hurt more than he thought it would and was surprised by the intensity. Immediately he shut it down and closed his eyes, pleading away his consciousness until finally, he slipped into an uneasy slumber.

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

The room was still dark when he opened his eyes. The first thing he registered besides the darkness was the fact that there was no warmth beside him and that he was still alone. It was strange how quickly he’d come to need Derek’s presence. Pushing aside those feelings Stiles sat up, staring out his dark window at the starry night sky. The power was still out which meant his clock was dark so he had no idea what time it was. His cell phone was still in the pants pocket of his other pants lying on the floor but he didn’t want to get out of his bed yet.

It felt so weird to Stiles, being alone again. The presence of Derek and Scott and Isaac had become a shocking comfort to him and he realized just how much he’d come back out of the shell he’d shut himself into. He was a fool to have come out of it. That shell had protected him from these harsh feelings welling up unwanted inside of him. Hurriedly he began pushing away all those painful, uninvited feelings. He didn’t want to start off the day with a panic attack.

Pushing back his covers he swung his feet over the side of the bed and stared at the ground for a bit before finally standing up. The carpet was slightly rough on the pads of his feet and he couldn’t help but compare it to the cold, hard concrete at Derek’s place before he caught himself and swept those thoughts aside. He walked over to the window and peered outside. It was calm and clear which brought a certain level of relief to his aching mind. The snow was still piled high but the roads had lost that icy shine. Stiles leaned against the sill and continued to stare out into the dark for a while, not counting the hours, but it was long enough for the sun to start tinting the horizon in blues and purples. Before the sun could color the sky cotton candy pink and orange Stiles yanked the blinds closed and shut himself off from the cold world.

His backpack dug into his side when he sat on the floor so he quickly tugged it out from behind him and unzipped it, pulling out the package he’d forgotten about last night. The thing was small, only an inch thick and a few inches long. He shook it and something rattled inside. Quickly he tore open the end of it and upturned it into his palm. A smooth card only a few inches long slid into his hand. It was too dark to really read what was on it so Stiles stood and walked across his room to flick on the light. The room was suddenly illuminated and it took a few seconds for his eyes to adjust before he squinted at the card in his hand. It was a blank white card on one side but when he turned it over a violent red #5 had been painted on the pristine surface.

There’s a knock on his door and he’s startled out of his confused staring. He quickly tosses the package and card onto his desk and opens his door to reveal his dad standing there with severe bedhead.

“Hey dad, what’s up?”

“I saw your light on and I was surprised you were up. Is everything alright?”

Stiles nodded quickly. “Yeah everything’s fine. I went to bed early so I got up early. Nothing’s wrong.”

His dad stared at him for just a bit longer before nodding his head. “Alright, if you say so son. Want to join me for breakfast?”

“Sure. Let me grab my blanket and I’ll be right down.”

Papa Stilinski nodded and left him to grab his blanket, going downstairs and was rifling through the pantry when Stiles joined him.

“So, when do you think the snow’ll melt?” Stiles asked as he watched his dad pull out random stuff from the pantry.

“Can’t really say. It was so long ago since we last had a snow storm but I doubt it’ll take very long. California is a warm state.”

“That’s true. Hey, pass me the can of peaches over there in the corner.”

Again they sat at the kitchen table munching on random food. The sun illuminated the room slowly with soft orange light and Stiles could feel the warmth soaking through the blanket and into his skin. If it weren’t still so cold outside he’d go out and bask in it. Their meal was finished in companionable silence until the Sherriff stood up and pointed towards the garage door.

“I think it’s time to bust out that shovel.”

Stiles sighed but nodded. He didn’t really want to since he was still physically and mentally exhausted from the previous weeks but there was nothing else to do and he didn’t want his dad to be the one doing the shoveling. Stiles stood from the table and tossed his can into the full trash and the fork into the full sink. He’d have to take care of those later too. The door to the garage gave a loud squeak as it opened since they never really went in there and the light switch was covered in cobwebs.

Dust was settled over everything in the garage. Boxes lined the wall and as Stiles surveyed the room his eyes alighted on the handle of what had to be the shovel in the far left corner. Carefully he picked his way over knick knacks and random things from Christmas decorations to lawn equipment until he was finally able to grab the handle of the shovel. Quickly he yanked it free of its cobwebs and hopped back over to the door, shutting off the light on the way out.

“Oh good you found it.” His dad said as he trudged into the living room with the shovel held a few inches off the ground.

“Should I start at the front door?”

Stiles’ dad nodded as he thought. “Yeah that’s probably the best place to start. I don’t want you climbing through your window again. That’s dangerous. You hear me?” he said, pointing his finger at Stiles but there was no real heat in his voice.

“Gotcha. Won’t happen again.”

Stiles was glad his dad wasn’t a werewolf to detect that lie but even so, his dad was a smart guy and probably knew that Stiles would do it again and probably in the near future. However, he refrained from saying so and Stiles walked out of the living room and down the hall to the front door, unlocking it and yanking it open. A wall of snow met him and he sighed, this was going to take a while.

He didn’t want the snow to fall into the house so he started from the top and began pushing the snow backwards with the back of the shovel. It was hard on his arms since the muscles had atrophied with disuse after only about thirty minutes of working. Yet he continued, not really caring that by the time that he’d cleared a path to the driveway that his arms were screaming at him in pain. He was shivering with cold but as he stood in the sun he realized that his dad was right, it was going to get a lot warmer really fast now that there’s nothing keeping the weather cold.

Putting the shovel against the side of the house that he’d cleared Stiles went back inside, calling out to his dad. “I think I’m done for the day. I got to the driveway.”

“Ok, I’ll do some shoveling as well. I want to at least dig the cruiser out.” His dad called from the living room.

Stiles didn’t answer since he knew his dad wasn’t expecting one and went back up to his room, shutting the door quietly behind him. He stood there with his back pressed against his door for a few minutes, not sure what to do, before heading over to his desk and booting up his laptop which worked without internet or a cord and just ran on battery life. The glow of the screen lit up the surrounding area as he sat in the desk chair and put in the password.

Over the next few hours Stiles starting doing all the homework assignments he’d missed while he was ‘sick’. There was so much that he’d missed that by the time that he’d finished all the work for his English class there were more than a few word documents cluttering up his desktop. His math and Econ didn’t require the computer so he shut it down again and pulled out his Calculus textbook to get started on that.

Hours went by and afternoon turned to evening and soon he was sitting in the dark unable to read a thing but his mind was off somewhere else, somewhere he longed to be but wasn’t. He couldn’t help but wonder what Derek was doing and if he thought the room was too quiet now that Stiles was gone. Maybe he was glad Stiles was gone. Maybe the entire time that Stiles had been there Derek had wished him gone. But he wouldn’t have done those things to him if he’d wanted him gone, would he? There were so many questions he didn’t have answers to.

“Stiles? You want anything for dinner? I’m sure I can find something.”

Papa Stilinski’s voice startled Stiles out of his deep thoughts and he looked up to see himself completely encased in darkness save for the moonlight coming in through the window.

“No thanks dad. You go ahead and eat. I’m really tired so I’m gonna head to bed. Love you!” Stiles called without moving from his spot.

There was some shuffling from behind the door before Stiles could hear the long sigh his father let out.

“Ok son, good night. I love you too.” And then his footsteps were shuffling away.

Stiles let out a breath and got up from his chair to flop down on his bed. There was so much going on in his mind yet he could feel his body shutting down. It scared him at how cold he seemed to grow when the heat of Derek wasn’t there any longer. Even Scott’s presence would have been appreciated at this point but there was no way to contact either of them with the power out and the phone lines down. He’d just have to wait. That scared him too.

The night passed quickly and even though Stiles managed to sleep a couple of hours he woke up just as tired as he’d gone to bed. Now not only was he sore from yesterday but his head was pounding and his skin felt achy. There was a hot, tightness in his throat and he knew immediately he wasn’t getting up that day. When his dad came in to wake him up in the morning he saw the feverish flush and sweat shining on his skin.

“Aw Stiles, how can you go running around with wolves only to get sick with a little snow shoveling?” Papa Stilinski muttered and Stiles let out a gross cough in response.

And that’s how Stiles stayed for the next week, hacking and coughing and shivering under his blankets. He barely ate anything his dad put in front of him and what he did eat would resurface later into a bowl settled at his bedside. The days blended with the lights after his dad had drawn the blinds at Stiles insistence after developing a pounding headache that the light didn’t help. After a week the sickness (he wasn’t sure if it was a cold or the flu or whatever) had mostly settled down into a dull ache on his skin and some pain in his throat and head. There was nothing in his stomach to heave up since he’d refused to eat anything after the third day. His father was constantly checking on him and leaving him food which he immediately shoved back.

Stiles slowly sat up in bed, feeling the cool air wash unpleasantly on his gross, sweaty skin. Groaning he carefully pulled himself up on wobbly legs and used baby steps to get to the door. The world was spinning slightly when his hand closed over the door handle and twisted it open. He came face to face with his dad whose hand was curled into a fist and poised to knock.

“Stiles! Should you be out of bed?”

“Shower. I feel gross.” Stiles sniffled, leaning heavily against the door.

He’d thought he was getting better but for some reason just that short trip to his door made him feel sick all over again.

“Yeah, a shower might do you some good. Get rid of the funk clinging to you.”

Stiles gave a weak nod and held out his hand which his father immediately took and let himself be guided to the bathroom. As soon as they’d made it to the bathroom Stiles collapsed beside the toilet and dry heaved into the porcelain bowl. Nothing came up except a small bit of acid and Stiles was left with aching muscles from all the heaving. Papa Stilinski had knelt to rub Stiles’ back as he turned on the water to run a warm bath for him. Stiles felt a rush of love for his father then sadness that he didn’t feel that way about him all the time.

It took a while but soon the bath was almost full and Papa Stilinski shut off the water and helped his son off the floor. Stiles wanted to protest at being handled like a baby but couldn’t even bring up the energy to try. Papa Stilinski managed to drag off his shirt and pajama bottoms before Stiles pushed his hands away.

“No, leave them on. I need to keep what little I have left of my pride dad.” Stiles joked, his mouth pulling into a thin, watery smile.

“Yeah, yeah, you’ll still be manly even if I do see you’re man bits. I did raise you, you know?”

Stiles huffed and managed to pull a mock upset face as his dad finally rid him of his underpants. In all honesty Stiles couldn’t even lift a finger and was extremely grateful that his dad was even doing this, especially since he was already at this age. When he was finally settled into the tub he sighed and sank into the blissfully warm bath water. His dad flushed the toilet and sat on the lid, staring at the wall so he wouldn’t make Stiles even more uncomfortable and Stiles was extremely grateful for that too.

“So, where’d you get the scar on your chest?” Papa Stilinski’s voice broke the silence after a few minutes.

Stiles had been drifting off in the water and was slightly startled by the sudden noise.

“Uhm, that one’s a long story and I’m too tired.” He deflected rather nicely.

“Then what about the one on your side? Or the two on your back and one on your leg. Why do I never hear of these? I want to know when you need something, especially medical attention.”

Stiles sighed. “I would say that I’ll tell you next time but that would be a lie.” Stiles hated the little flinch his dad did. “I hate it when you worry about me just like you hate it when I worry about you. I’ll heal from these things dad, even if it _does_ take longer than a stupid werewolf.”

They were both silent for a really long time, long enough that the water started cooling off until it was just warmer than room temperature. Stiles had been thinking about a lot of things but as soon as the fact that he was lying in water made it to his brain he snapped his eyes open and looked at his dad then at the bathroom. The light was on.

“When did everything start working again?” he asked.

His dad broke out of whatever thought he’d been engulfed in to look at Stiles then at the lights above the sink.

“Last night I got a call from someone from the electric company that said everything should be functioning again and to give them a call if something isn’t working and they’ll fix it.”

“Oh, ok, that makes sense. So the phone lines are back up too then.” Stiles nodded and opened his mouth wide in a yawn.

“Alright, I think you’ve had enough time to prune up. You feeling any better? You’re talking more.”

Stiles took quick inventory on his body before giving a slow nod. Now that he didn’t feel gross and had washed away all the germs that had gathered he was feeling a little refreshed.

“Yeah but I still don’t feel very good so I think I should stay in bed just a little longer.”

“After I change the sheets then. Your bed is nasty. I’m going to air out the room too so until then how about you go downstairs and find something to eat then settle onto the couch.”

Stiles nodded and allowed himself to be helped out of the bathtub and into a towel. It took a bit to dry himself off since he was completely unbalanced by the fever but eventually he managed to wipe himself free of most water. His dad had left to grab him a fresh change of clothes and was glad to put on some clothes so he wasn’t naked in his father’s presence anymore. He just knew that as soon as he could think again he’d be properly mortified but at this moment he couldn’t bring himself to care very much.

The stairs were more difficult than he’d thought they would be and ended up scooting down them on his butt taking each stair slowly. Eventually he made it to the couch and collapsed into the cushions. He could faintly hear his father slamming shut the washing machine and the sound of water being pumped into the barrel. He must have dozed off after that because the next thing he was aware of was the flickering of lights behind his eyelids. When he opened his eyes he was greeted by a silent baseball game on the flat screen TV his father had indulged himself in.

“What time is it?” he mumbled, wiping sleep from his eyes.

“A little after eleven. You feeling any better?”

Stiles swallowed a couple of time to rid himself of the sour sleep taste. “Um, yeah. Just a little I guess. I need to call Scott.”

“You want me to grab your phone?”

Stiles shook his head and sat upright, ignoring the dizziness. “Nah, I should sleep in my own bed so you don’t catch whatever it is I have.”

“I’m sure I’ll be fine.” His dad said but didn’t stop him as he carefully got up and slowly made his way up the stairs and into his room, silently shutting the door behind him.

His bed was made nicely in a way that only parents seemed to manage and he let himself flop onto it, his hand already reaching out to grab his phone from the nightstand. When he tried to turn it on the screen stayed black and Stiles groaned, reaching onto the floor and fumbling around until he found the charger and plugged it in. It took about a minute for his screen to come up and a few more minutes for messages to start coming in. There were three texts and one missed call from Scott and one message from Isaac but that was it. They’d all been sent the same day the power had been turned on.

Quickly he dialed Scott’s number but was immediately met with a dial tone which meant it was occupied. So he sent a quick text to him telling him that yes he was fine, no he hasn’t heard from Derek, and no he hasn’t heard from Allison. Isaac’s message was just to ask if he’d heard from anyone (obviously Scott had asked him to try messaging him) and he sent him a quick message telling him he hadn’t. After those messages had been sent he opened up a new message to Derek and stared at the white box for a while, the letter line blinking at him until the screen went black from inactivity. There was a twisting in his stomach as he pressed a button to bring the screen back up and quickly typed out a message and sent it before he talked himself out of it.

**Hey so the powers back on. R u doing ok?**

Regret set in immediately after it was sent but he pushed it aside since sickness induced exhaustion was dragging his eyelids shut. There was no room for thought in his fever muddled brain so he simply didn’t, settling under his clean covers and immediately falling asleep.

When he woke up in the morning bright sunlight filtered in through the open window and a warm breeze was making his pulled up blinds clank back and forth against the glass. His head was strangely clear and didn’t feel like it was going to explode. His skin didn’t ache anymore and his stomach actually gave a quiet grumble. The phone was pressed against his arm and left an imprint when he tugged it away. The screen lit up and revealed he had one message from Scott saying he was getting worried about Allison but that was it. Disappointment fluttered through him briefly at not seeing a message from Derek but it was quickly swept aside.

Once he was dressed in his usual clothes of jeans and a t-shirt with a plaid long-sleeve covering he lumbered down the stairs to find his dad already up and heating up some of the frozen food he hadn’t been able to eat before.

“Hey kiddo, there’s school today so hurry and grab your backpack.”

“Aw dad! I don’t want to go today! I’m still sick!”

“You’re obviously not now go grab your stuff ‘cause I’m locking the door on the way out.”

Stiles finally took a look at his dad and saw that he was dressed in his Sherriff’s attire. He groaned and stomped back up the stairs to gather his backpack and homework he’d been doing before he’d gotten sick and trudged back downstairs. His dad was waiting by the front door and quickly ushered him out along with a Ziploc bag holding two pieces of buttered toast.

“Thanks dad. I love you. Be safe.” He said quickly as they both go into their cars.

Over the week that he’d been sick the snow had melted quickly leaving the street drains full of debris and lawns sludgy. Power crews had gone through every street in the town reconnecting power lines and putting up new ones where they were damaged or missing. A week was rather fast considering how much damage had been done but Stiles wasn’t complaining (except for the fact that it meant school started up again).

Scott met him in the parking lot looking frantic, his eyebrows drawn up in worry and shifting his feet from one to the other until Stiles had turned off his Jeep. Stiles didn’t want to deal with that at the moment and leaned over to the other seat as if looking for something for a few minutes before pulling his backpack from the floor, leaving the bread forgotten on his passenger seat, and sitting back up. Scott was peering in through his window and had to back up quick to avoid getting his nose smashed against the glass as Stiles opened the door.

“Why are you looking like you gotta shit?” Stiles asked as soon as he’d locked the Jeep.

“You didn’t get any of my messages did you? You need to quit ignoring me! There was another body found next to the gym off Riverwood. I didn’t get a chance to swing by before school but I’m betting it was the same as the last body.”

“You mean the body from the day before the storm?” Scott nodded his head quickly and Stiles groaned. “Dude, I _really_ don’t need any more supernatural shit right now. I just got over being sick _today_ and only a week ago I was almost killed by a freakish creature with a god complex. Can we just lay off the dead bodies and mumbo jumbo and let someone else take care of it? Why are we always the ones getting into these messes?”

“Well, who else is going to take care of it if we don’t? They’re encroaching on _our_ territory, killing people we may or may not know, and we’re supernatural so we’re most qualified.”

Stiles groaned and pushed through the doors of the school and into the throng of students chattering wildly about the freaky storm. Stiles didn’t talk again until they were both seated in their first period class and the bell was a few minutes away from ringing.

“Ok, so first we’ll need to contact Derek and make sure he knows about this new body. Then we should start sniffing around, for you literally, for anything that could be related to this new whatever-it-is that decided to make our lives a living Hell.”

Scott nodded along with everything that he said as if he’d already thought of all that.

“Ok, you contact Derek and I’ll start ‘sniffing’ around for anything new.” He made the air quotes obvious without actual making the hand motions.

“Why do I have to contact Derek? Why can’t you do that?”

Scott gave him a curious look as if he were crazy. “Well, you two have that _thing_ going on between you, which, by the way, we still haven’t talked about.” He gave Stiles a stern look and leaned in closer. “Mind telling me what exactly that is? You two were all over each other in bed and that was _not_ something two people who barely tolerate each other do.”

Now Stiles was feeling increasingly uncomfortable. “We, uh, we just were… yeah I got nothing. There was absolutely no excuse for that. It just…happened and since he hasn’t even bothered to contact me since then I’m pretty sure it was one sided on my part.” Stiles said and resolutely shoved away the hurt that threatened to boil up again.

Scott made a short whine in the back of his throat and gave him a look that was half glare, half concern. “He’s a jerk. It’s a good thing that he stopped when he did. It’s just wrong to lead you on like that.”

Stiles just grunted in reply and leaned away from Scott as the bell rang for class to start. Scott gave him one more worried look before leaning back in his chair and giving the teacher who just walked in his full attention. The rest of the day was spent dodging probing questions from Scott and Isaac, who joined them at lunch, and trying to concentrate on what the teachers were saying and not on the hurt that refused to be pushed away.

During the last class Stiles glanced out the window simply to check the weather and caught sight of a figure standing near the tree line. He did a double take since that figure looked like a leather clad douche that hadn’t bothered contacting Stiles but there was no one there and Stiles simply chalked it up to his overactive imagination and his almost non-stop thoughts of Derek. Stupid idiot. Stupid non-contacting idiot. Stiles sighed and rubbed his hands over his face and refused to look out the window for the rest of the class.

As soon the final bell rang Stiles raced from his classroom but he was too slow and Scott managed to cut him off before he escaped the school. Stiles skid to a halt before he smashed into Scott and knew he must be pulling a grumpy face.

“Dude, what’s the rush?”

“Uh, nothing. Just wanted to get home and start researching the police database for anything on the body.” Stiles said with false enthusiasm.

Scott gave him a funny look but didn’t push it. “Ok. I’ll bring Isaac with me while I go search around the scene.”

Stiles just nodded and left without another word. He didn’t want to deal with anybody right now. He’d been shoving away thoughts of Derek all day and knew that if he continued to talk with Scott or Isaac that he’d eventually come up in a conversation. The pain he felt had begun to meld into all the other emotions he was feeling.

When he reached his Jeep he had to sit there in the seat for a few minutes pushing away the hurt that had swelled in his chest. His arm had long since healed in the two weeks since the last time he’d cut but now it seemed as if those scars were on fire. He pressed his thumb into them to dull the ache to a point where it was bearable. After a bit he was composed enough to jam the key into the ignition and slowly drive back home.

He didn’t make a conscious decision to move and found himself on autopilot as he turned his Jeep off and gathered his stuff, getting out and locking the Jeep, unlocking the front door and walking up to his room. He sat at his desk and turned on the little light above the desk, pulling out his homework for the day.

Stiles spent the next four hours ignoring the supernatural issue once again present in Beacon Hills by doing every last bit of homework he’d missed before the storm. His brain eventually switched off of autopilot and he knew he couldn’t continue putting this off if he wanted the disturbance gone sooner rather than later.

Quickly he pulled up the police database and started discreetly browsing through all the reports for the day. Eventually he hit upon a new body and pulled up the details. Female, 30, brown hair, brown eyes, 5’5”, pretty average in all aspects except the cause of death. The inspection of the body revealed severe internal damage originating from… Stiles averted his eyes and felt horror rise as he registered just what had caused her death.

Quickly he minimized that report and searched for the one from before the storm. There were a lot of reports made during the storm and he had to dig through all of those before he finally found the report for the male’s death. Male, 26, brown hair, hazel eyes, 5’10, again, average except for the cause of death which was severe internal damage. Again it seemed like the same cause of death for the female.

Fumbling with his phone where it was stuck in his pocket Stiles speed dialed Scott. He didn’t pick up on the first call but after the third ring of the second call his winded voice came through the speaker.

“’Sup Stiles? Got anything for me?”

“Yeah. Why do you sound so winded?”

“I have to run to Derek’s since I can’t hitch a ride and my bike is waterlogged still. Now on with the news!”

“Ok well, the victims are both really average people with absolutely nothing in common except for how they died. Dude, Scott, this killer is brutal. Whatever is killing these people is raping them to death. Or shoving a jackhammer up their hoohas and putting it to full blast. It’s violent dude.”

“Oh my…guuuh.” Scott made a sickened sound and Stiles had to agree. “I’m almost at Derek’s. I’ll let him know.”

“Ok cool. Tell him to call me. Oh and did you find anything at the scene?”

“Nah, just a bunch of weird smells I can’t identify. I found a scrap of the guy’s clothing caught on a nail that was sticking out of the side of the building. I’m taking that to Derek since it has that weird smell all over it.”

“’Kay. You go do that. And tell him to call!”

“’Kay, see ya.”

The line went dead in Stiles’ ear and he pressed the end button before turning up the notification and call sound up to high so he wouldn’t miss any texts or calls. This whole thing was disgusting and obnoxious. Why couldn’t these things just not happen? Stiles sighed at the ridiculous question and closed out of the police database after he’d printed everything to do with the cases. He gathered the papers and hid them among his homework so his dad didn’t find them.

It was completely dark outside by the time his father made it home. Stiles had just been sitting at his desk waiting for anything from his silent phone and when he heard the slam of the door he figured he might as well take a break from all that stress. He went downstairs and joined his father for dinner which was store bought chicken. Stiles managed a couple of bites before saying he was still feeling a little sick and he didn’t want to test his stomach yet.

His dad didn’t bring up the deaths and neither did Stiles since his dad looked like he’d been through a lot during his shift. Papa Stilinski actually headed up to his room first and an inkling of worry needled at Stiles’ conscience when he heard the door slam.

That night was restless and the sun rose without Stiles’ having gotten a wink of shut eye.

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

The next day at school was hard to go through. Stiles felt washed out and miserable. He took a lot of notes during every class since he knew that none of what the teachers were saying was sinking in. The pain had successfully sunken under his skin and he was constantly scratching at his arms to try and relieve the pressure of that pain yet there was no relief. By the time that he got home he felt as if his skin was buzzing while his insides were dead.

Once he was inside of his house with the door locked behind him he trudged up the stairs and let his backpack slide off of his shoulder right outside his door and walked straight to the bathroom. Digging around underneath the sink he managed to unearth the unopened package of extra razors kept for his shaving razor. It was easy to take apart and he held the small blade in the palm of his hand as he slumped against the wall.

Holding the razor made him think of his promise to Derek so before he put the razor to use he dug the phone out of his pocket and dialed Derek’s number. It rang and rang in his ear and by the time the automated voicemail system sounded in his ears he was already crying. He didn’t leave a message and just hung up. He sent a short message of: **Derek, I need your help.** He waited another thirty minutes before the pain and aching became too great and he put the phone down and uncurled his hand from around the blade.

Picking up the dainty metal he put the sharp edge against the unblemished skin of his right arm above the scars of his wrist. The familiar drag of warm metal across his skin and the sharp bite after it left his flesh was like soothing water over the fire of pain in his veins. It took several more tracks across his skin before the pain had dulled enough to where he could breathe again. The bright red of his blood against his pale skin made him shiver and remember the way it had painted Derek’s bathroom. The memory set off another wave of pain that had him dragging the edge through his skin twice more before he was done.

His mind was pleasantly blank after that. A smile even graced his wrist as he washed the blood down the drain and covered the fresh marks with ointment, gauze and bandages. He wrapped the blade in a wad of toilet paper and held onto it tightly as he left the bathroom. When he got back to his room the sun was dipping low in the sky, bathing his room in a soft orange light and turning the clouds outside cotton candy pink. He shoved the blade into the bottom of the outer pocket of his backpack and felt a bit of relief knowing it was there.

There were no texts or calls that night or in the morning after he woke from a frightening dream. His dad was already gone by the time he managed to pull himself downstairs with his schoolbag slung over his shoulder. That meant he didn’t have to pretend and simply drove to school without eating anything. Once there he caught sight of Scott and Isaac having a heated discussion about something over by the bike racks and simply kept walking instead of talking to them.

When lunch time rolled around he’d still had no messages or calls, not that he cared anymore. He was simply doodling on the notes page he’d carried out of his last class without putting in his bag when Scott and Isaac found him.

“Hey man, you find anything new about the bodies?” Scott asked as soon as his tray hit the table top.

“Nah, nothin’ man. You?” Stiles didn’t look up when he spoke.

“Yeah, Derek confirmed that it was the same scent from the previous murder. When I told him what you’d found he got all frowny. I don’t know why but for some reason that really pissed him off.”

Stiles nodded and continued drawing his ridiculous stick man army.

“You feeling ok Stiles?” Isaac asked which finally made Stiles look up.

“Yeah, I’m totally good. I had a freaky dream last night so I’m just a little tired.” Which technically wasn’t a lie.

“Me too. Ever since that whole Zduhać thing went down I keep getting nightmares about it.”

Stiles made a noncommittal sound of agreement and concentrated on giving his army guys a couple of poorly drawn tanks. Scott and Isaac continued to talk amongst themselves leaving Stiles to finish his drawing before packing it up into his bag. His wrist caught the edge of his backpack and he barely managed to hold in his hiss of pain but the others had stopped their conversation and were looking at him with curiosity.

“Stiles did you get hurt? I smell blood.” Scott said worry dancing in his eyes as he stared intently at Stiles.

Stiles grimaced before giving a wide smile that seemed to kill him inside. “Yeah man, I was washing the dishes last night and dropped one and a piece got me real good in the arm. I’ll be fine though, just a scratch.”

Technically only a little bit was a lie. That did in fact happen but that was weeks ago and it was his finger. It’d been the thing that’d started his cutting in the first place. But there was no way in Hell that he was going to tell Scott or Isaac that. Even Derek didn’t know how it started. Scott and Isaac were giving him twin looks of concern that quickly melted away as soon as Isaac brought up the newest gun mod for the game they’d been playing avidly for the past week. Stiles didn’t want to hear about how much fun they had without him and stood, leaving them to talk about their games. They didn’t even notice and if they did they ignored him.

Friday came quickly but not soon enough for Stiles. Classes with Scott or Isaac were torture. He never knew if they’d talk to him or ignore him and he hated having to act like he was cheerful and talkative like he used to be. Once the bell rang he took off towards his Jeep. Halfway there Scott fell into step with him and he let out a little sigh that was lost on Scott.

“Stiles, dude, the killer’s left another body out by the highway. Derek said it was definitely the same guy who’s been killing people. This makes the third body.”

The mention of Derek’s name ripped at Stiles’ heart, or whatever was controlling things these days. Pain spread through him and he could only put one foot in front of the other until they got to his Jeep and the pain subsided a bit.

“Was there anything particular about this body at all? Did they have anything strange on them or around them?” Stiles asked because the sooner he figured this out the sooner they would leave him alone.

“Don’t know. The police were already there by the time that Derek got there. This thing doesn’t leave any sort of trail to follow. It’s like it just disappears.”

Stiles nodded as he fished the keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door. He slung his backpack into the passenger seat and climbed into the driver’s seat.

“I’ll do some more research in the bestiary that Lydia’s translated for me. Keep me updated.” He said and slammed the door before Scott had a chance to reply.

Stiles drove home quickly, wanting to start researching immediately to distract himself from thoughts of Derek that had sprung up at the conversation with Scott. All things Derek had become taboo in his mind since his unquestionable rejection of Stiles. The pain and loss had left him in more pain than before the storm and he wished he could have his hollowness back since that didn’t hurt as much as this, whatever it is.

Once he was home he quickly dashed up to his room without pausing to look around him. He slammed his door shut out of habit and had just sat down at his computer when there was a knock on his door. It startled him so much his flailing arms knocked a pile of paper to the floor.

“Wh-who is it?” he called our, cursing the tremor that made it into his voice.

“It’s the boogeyman Stiles.” His father’s voice immediately soothed the panic within him.

He got up and opened his door to reveal his father’s stressed figure. “Hey dad, what’s wrong?”

“I’m sure you’ve heard already but there’s been a string of unexplained deaths lately. I came to ask if you knew anything about them.”

Stiles shrugged and moved away from the door to sit on the edge of his bed. “I’ve been looking into it since the second one about a week ago. Then there was the one today. Were you the one to find it?”

Papa Stilinski shook his head and stepped a little into the room. “No, Deputy Miller was the one to find it. He…”

Stiles had been staring at a hole in his jeans he hadn’t noticed before when his father stopped talking. His eyes immediately shot to his father’s face to see what was wrong but he wasn’t looking at him. Stiles followed his dad’s gaze to the papers strewn across the floor by his desk.

“What? Dad, what is it?” he asked quickly, not knowing why his dad’s face was growing more and more horrified.

“Where did you get that?” he asked, pointing towards the pile.

“Get what?” Stiles kicked out at the papers, looking for whatever his dad was looking at.

“The number Stiles! The number! Where did you get it?!” his dad yelled at him and pointed at the card with the number 5 written on it at the edge of the pile.

“Oh, it was in a package on the passenger side of my Jeep. I found it when I got back from Derek’s house but it’d been stepped on numerous times so it was probably there since before the storm. Why? What’s wrong with it?” Stiles picked it up and held it in his hand, turning it over and over. “It’s just a number.”

“Stiles, we found the numbers 1-3 on the current bodies we have in the morgue.” His father said quietly, his horror now confirmed.

It took a brief second before the horror dawned on Stiles and then the true meaning of the number settled onto him.

“Oh. I’m number 5.” He said quietly.

“No. No no no. I will _not_ let them get you.” Papa Stilinski said vehemently now looking angry instead of horror stricken. “I’m going to grab my gun and coat. Be downstairs in 5 minutes with the card and package it came it. Bring a jacket. The office can get cold sometimes.”

Stiles moved woodenly, shoving his phone into his pocket after taking it off its charger and grabbing his backpack before grabbing the things his father had told him to grab. He was downstairs in 4 minutes flat, his dad already at the door still looking angry.

They were at the station in record time, the Sherriff having blared his siren to bypass all the lights and cars on the road. Once they were they jumped out of the car and Stiles was shoved to his father’s office. Stiles was seated in a chair facing his father’s desk and told not to move while his dad started yelling for all of his deputies to gather and bring evidence bags. Soon the office was filled and surrounded by the police force of Beacon Hills.

“Son, can you please tell them what you told me about how you got the card?” the Sherriff requested and Stiles held up the card and saw several gazes narrow at it.

“This card was in this package,” he held up the package, “and left in the passenger side of my Jeep while I was most likely at school. I’m the only one beside the person who put it there who’s touched it.”

His dad held open two evidence bags and Stiles put the card in one and the package in the other.

“Now, I want this bastard caught. He’s targeting _my_ son now. Put out a notice all over town telling anyone who has one of these cards to get here immediately. There’s at least one more person out there who’s being targeted if he sticks with his number system. Who knows how many others there are…” Papa Stilinski trailed off but everyone understood without him completing that sentence.

Stiles sat and watched as the bags were taken off to be examined but he knew that if nothing had been found on the other number cards that nothing would be found with his package. The room emptied leaving only his dad and him.

“I don’t want you leaving this office for anything unless it’s urgent and you’ll be accompanied by an officer. Even to the restroom Stiles, got it?” Papa Stilinski waited for Stiles’ acknowledging nod before nodding himself. “Good, good. I just…I can’t have anything happen to you.” He paused and looked around as if the very thought pained him. “I can’t lose you.” He whispered.

“Dad,” Stiles stood and put a hand on his father’s shoulder, “I’ll be ok. I’ve got you and the entire police force of Beacon Hills protecting me. Not to mention I have some very supernatural fr… contacts.”

“That’s a good idea. You should have them here as extra protection. Call up Scott and Derek while I go help my deputies.”

Stiles had no time to protest before the door was slamming in his face and a deputy was instructed to stand in front of the door. Stiles sighed and slumped back into his seat. He dug out his cell phone and powered it on, waiting a couple of minutes just in case any messages or missed call notifications came in but his screen stayed blank. He was past dwelling on his lonely screen and pulled up his contacts, jabbing his thumb against the picture of a wolf cupcake and put it to his ear before it started ringing.

It rang and rang before the automated message sounded hollowly in his ear and he immediately hung up and tried again. When he still couldn’t get ahold of Derek he left him a message telling him to ‘answer your damn phone you dickbag’ before he called Scott. Again he got the voicemail but the second time he called he finally got Scott’s lazy voice on the other end.

“Y’ello?”

“I’m one of his targets.” Stiles jumped right into it.

“What? One of whose targets? Are you playing a game and called for help or something? I’m in the middle of something man, can I call you back?”

“No, Scott, I’m one of the killer’s targets. The 5th one.”

“What?” Scott’s voice was suddenly more attentive. “How do you know this?”

“Evidently he has a calling card. Literally.”

“Where are you?”

“At the station. My dad specifically asked for all of my supernatural contact’s assistance which means you need to get Derek to stop ignoring me and get his furry ass over here right now. Also bring Isaac ‘cause I’m sure my father will want him here. Though, I’m sure you guys can leave as soon as you’ve checked in.”

“I’ll be there in 20 minutes.”

The line went dead and Stiles pressed the end button with a heavy thumb. He really didn’t want to see Derek and if Derek kept up this avoidance at all costs thing he’s been doing then he wouldn’t have to, no matter what predicament he was in.

The 20 minutes it took Scott to get there was spent doing his homework since he figured his teachers wouldn’t accept ‘serial killer’s target’ as an excuse to not do the work. When he finally did burst in through the door Stiles noticed that one Sourwolf was pleasantly absent. Isaac trailed in after Scott and they both waited until the door was closed again before they were bombarding him with questions.

“What happened?”

“How do you know you’re the next target?”

“Did you do something to make him target you?”

“Have you found anything else out about him?”

Stiles sat and waited for them to quiet down and sit down before shaking his head and starting to answer. “No, I don’t know who he is or _what_ he is but I know he’s not human from what you’ve told me Scott. Each victim had a numbered card and I got number 5 on mine which means that number 4, whoever that is, is being targeted next. And _no_ Scott, I didn’t _do_ anything to make him target me. I think the choosing was done all at the same time and it’s completely random.”

“So this guy is like… _playing_?” Scott and Stiles both looked at Isaac with questioning looks. “Well, you said that he’s raping them until they’re dead and nobody’s chosen specifically and…well…” Isaac shrugged. “Just a thought.”

“No, yeah, that’s actually probably a good thing to look at. It does sound like a thing a psychopath, which this guy _definitely_ is, would do.” Stiles agreed.

The door burst open and a chagrinned Derek stood in the doorway glaring at the three of them until those angry eyes settled on Scott. “What was with that message? You said that someone was dying.”

“No, I said someone might die and it’s true! Stiles is being targeted by the killer.” Scott quickly defended himself, pointing at Stiles who was pointedly staring at his homework and not at Derek.

Stiles could practically feel the glare Derek turned onto him but he kept staring at the Econ question like it was the most interesting thing in the world even though he couldn’t even see the words he read over and over. Scott quickly filled Derek in on what was going on and by the time that he was completely caught up he’d taken the last seat next to Stiles.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

Stiles ignored the question since he figured Derek was still just talking to Scott but then there was a hot hand wrapped around his bicep and jerking him away from the desk to look at him. Stiles simply stared blankly at Derek’s face for a second before softly pushing Derek’s fingers off.

“I called you multiple times and left you messages and they were all greeted with silence. Flattering by the way.” He said snidely but there was no emotion in his voice.

Stiles looked away from the face that hurt to look at and ignored the fact that Derek was still glaring at him. He picked up his pencil and started doodling again since it kept his hands and eyes busy. There was silence in the room again before Isaac coughed and mentioned that he needed some water.

“Yeah, I’m gonna go talk to the Sherriff and see what he wants us to do.” Scott mumbled and they quickly left.

Once the door had slammed closed again Stiles set down his pencil and stared blankly down at his hands as they clasped together in his lap. Derek didn’t say anything for long, tension filled minutes. Finally his gruff voice filled the silence around them.

“Tell me what happened.”

Stiles looked up from his hands to stare out the window at the bustling officers. “What can I say that you haven’t already heard? I found the package on the floor of my Jeep and the card was in it.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it.” There was some rustling of fabric and suddenly Derek was seated in front of him, his hazel green eyes staring intensely into his before Stiles jerked his head to the side and looked at the gray wall with paper stuck to it.

“Nothing happened.” He mumbled.

“Even if I couldn’t hear your heart I’d know you were lying. It just shocks me that Scott hasn’t realized it yet.”

“So you haven’t told him yet? With how easy it seems for you to talk to _him_ I’d thought you might have.” Stiles put as much bitterness into those words as he could.

The pain inside him was flaring up grotesquely. He wanted to run from the room or crawl under the desk or in a hole, anywhere where Derek _wasn’t._

“Stiles.” Derek growled and Stiles felt those hot fingers touch his arm again but he jerked it back, rubbing viciously at the sensation left behind.

“Just…leave me alone. I can’t…I just can’t deal with this right now.” Stiles said quietly, trying his best to keep the pain from his voice.

Derek’s voice was strained the next time he spoke. “Stiles. I…I just…” he sighed loudly and Stiles could practically see the angry eyebrow dance his face was surely doing. “I just don’t know what to do. Scott had said that you were doing fine every time I asked. I didn’t know what to say to you so I put your messages and calls onto ignore. I figured if it was important Scott would tell me.”

Stiles stiffened and tried to keep his face blank but it was just so hard. He didn’t even want to respond to that. There was nothing he could say that would make it right and he knew beyond a doubt that Derek would simply write him off again. So he just shook his head and pulled his legs up to wrap his arms around.

“Stiles, what happened after you went home? Did things get bad again? I thought Scott was talking to you again. And Isaac.” Stiles just shook his head before resting his head on his knees. “Your dad?” Stiles shook his head again, gripping his legs tighter. “Shit.”

Again there was silence since Stiles did _not_ want to talk to Derek.

“Stiles…did you…hurt yourself again?”

Stiles flinched unintentionally at the whispered words but otherwise didn’t move. Derek had already seen the movement though which answered his question plenty.

He sighed long and loud. “Oh Stiles. I don’t know what I’m doing.” He groaned.

“Can you just go away now?” Stiles said his voice stuffy from trying not to cry.

“No.”

The vehement refusal to his request startled Stiles enough to lift his head to look at Derek with wide eyes. Derek was staring at him with hard, angry eyes. Immediately he averted his eyes but Derek growled low in his chest making him look at him again.

“I look away for one second and you’re already being targeted by something that wants to kill you. I’m not going anywhere.”

Stiles should have felt better at those words but instead he just felt pain at having to deal with more of Derek and sighed, putting his head back against his knees. The door opened a couple of minutes later and Stiles looked up to see Isaac holding a few juice boxes and looking distinctly uncomfortable.

“Um, I got everyone juice. I didn’t know what everyone wanted so I just grabbed a couple of all of them.”

“Thanks.” Stiles mumbled, giving Isaac a meek smile and clearing away his homework so he could put them down.

Scott came in not two minutes later holding a pink box which promised sugary pastries. “Deputy Ingham is so nice!” he said loudly as he set the box down next to the juice boxes.

Scott and Isaac munched away at the donuts while Stiles pulled out his phone and distracted himself with a few games of solitaire and Derek sat in brooding silence. After about an hour of boredom the door opened again and his dad came in, closing the door behind him.

“Ok, here’s the deal. One of you three are always to be within arm’s reach of Stiles at all times no matter what. If he’s taking a shower one of you is sitting on the other side of the door. If he’s sleeping one of you is awake near him. I don’t care what he’s doing, one of you are always going to be next to him until we catch this psycho.” He said his finger dancing between the three werewolves.

Stiles looked between the wolves and his father and was slightly pleased to see all of them nodding in agreement to the plan. He could see that no one really had a choice in this.

“Does that mean that I get to go home and I don’t have to spend night after night here?” Stiles asked.

Papa Stilinski nodded. “I was discussing it with Deputy Miller, the same who discovered the latest body, and he said that it could be a long time before the psycho strikes again and it’ll take us a long time to track him down, though I hope not too long, so I finally agreed that it’d be a good idea to just let you stay at home. There are rules though. No going out on your own. No opening the door to anyone. One of them will open the door.” He said pointing to the other three. “If you need something and must leave the house, first you’ll call me first so I know where you are at all times.”

Stiles nodded as soon as he was done. All of that seemed acceptable since he never went anywhere anyways. At least his internet wasn’t getting cut off like it normally would when he was grounded.

“Sounds good. When are we leaving?” Scott asked quickly.

“Just as soon as the car comes around.”

Stiles quickly gathered all of his things and was out the door right behind Scott who was still munching on the last donut. Isaac trailed behind him and Derek brought up the rear. There was an SUV police car waiting for them when they exited the station and Isaac climbed in the backseat with him since he’d ridden with Scott and Derek had come in his Camaro.

The trip back to his house was quiet and uneventful. Scott and Derek were following them home and once the car had pulled into the driveway all three of them were there surrounding him. Stiles pulled his keys from his pocket and unlocked the front door, letting them all in and locking it behind him. Isaac reached past him and put the ball and chain lock up as well.

“You know you _all_ don’t have to be here right? My dad said only _one_ of you has to be with me at all times.”

“We need to set up shifts for everyone.” Derek said and made his way into the living room, making himself at home on the couch.

They all followed him since it would be weird not to and somehow they all managed to sit themselves so they still surrounded Stiles. Stiles just let it go and turned to face the room instead of one of them.

“Scott you have to work at the veterinary’s office Monday’s through Friday’s right?” Scott nodded, “And Isaac, what do you do Monday through Friday?”

“I picked up a job at the burger restaurant next to the school on Wednesday’s through Sunday’s.”

Derek nodded and though for a second. “I don’t know if we have to worry about the school since he’s always surrounded by other people but after school on Monday’s and Tuesday’s Isaac you’ll watch him. Scott you watch him on Saturday’s and Sunday’s. I’ll watch him Wednesday’s through Friday’s.”

Stiles grimaced slightly that Derek would be with him more than Scott or Isaac but he didn’t say anything since it was a good schedule. Scott and Isaac seemed to agree with no protests at all.

“Let me call my dad and let him know. I also need his work schedule as well so I know if I can let one of you,” his eyes strayed to Derek, “off of Stiles watch duty.”

He left the room but stayed in the hall since he couldn’t go out of their eyesight. He just wanted the illusion of some privacy since he’d be getting precious little in the next weeks to come. All of this sucked since all he wanted was to be alone. He quickly punched his dad’s speed dial and waited for his dad to pick up. It only took one and a half rings.

“Hey dad, I made it home fine and the three of them hashed out a Stiles watch schedule.” He quickly relayed the schedule to him. “Are you going to be working overtime every day?”

“Probably. I want to catch this son of a bitch as quickly as I can and I can’t do that from home. I trust the three of them to watch over you. And I have a unit posted outside of the house so I’ll know if someone gets within a block of the house.”

Stiles didn’t know whether to laugh or groan so he just kept quiet.

“Are they all going to stay tonight?”

“I think so. Since they’re all here instead of at their jobs I think it’s safe to assume they called off for the day.”

There was a groan from the living room and it seemed that the assumption was wrong and Isaac’s pay was most likely going to be docked for the upcoming weeks.

“Ok well, you kids be safe. I’ll be home sometime after midnight, so don’t wait up for me. Have fun, but not too much fun.” His father joked with an undertone of seriousness.

“Got it dad. I’ll let you get back to chasing the bad guy. Stay safe!”

“Alright. I love you son.”

“Love you too dad.”

As soon as the call was ended Stiles padded back into the living room and sat back down in his previous spot on the ottoman between the couches.

“Everything’s set. If you want to start the schedule tomorrow you can all leave. There’s a unit outside so I’m plenty safe.” Stiles said, making a small shooing motion towards the door.

“Well, like you said earlier we’re already here so we might as well just hang out. Unless…Derek you want to leave?” Scott asked.

Derek frowned at him and shook his head. Eloquent.

Stiles just shrugged and stood, leaving room without looking back to see if anyone followed, and went up to his room. All three wolves shuffled in after him making his normally moderately sized room seem absolutely oppressing.

“I’m serious you guys. If you want to leave just do it. I won’t even tell. I’m pretty boring at home now a days with all the homework I’ve needed to get done.”

Nobody so much as moved so he just sighed and ignored them, instead pulling his backpack to the bed and opened it, pulling out the History essay he needed to get done for Monday next week. Eventually the wolves settled onto the floor, except Derek who claimed his desk chair, and talked amongst themselves, again with Derek not joining them.

Stiles got lost in the essay, writing down everything he found relevant to the subject from the text book in his own words so it wasn’t plagiarism. He didn’t even notice that seven ‘o clock had turned into ten ‘o clock edging towards eleven. He peered over the edge of his bed and wasn’t surprised to see Scott lying sprawled on the floor with Isaac half draped across his midriff. Derek was still awake and staring at him so at least he knew he’d be safe when Derek was babysitting him.

Derek saw him looking and focused more intently on him. “Are you going to tell me what happened yet?”

Stiles was startled by the quiet but intense question. “Do I have to answer that now?” he asked, gesturing towards the sleeping duo on the floor.

“Better than never, which I know would happen if you got your way. I need to know Stiles.”

Stiles just shook his head. “There’s nothing to tell. You ignored me when I asked for help which tells me plenty.”

“I wanted you to try and get better on your own. You’ve always managed to pick yourself up and after the updates with Scott I thought you were doing just fine.” Derek tries to explain.

Stiles shuts his textbook with his essay papers still inside and puts everything onto the floor next to his bed. After he’s gathered his thoughts and isn’t in danger of crying he looks at Derek again.

“You _thought_ wrong.” He says simply and pulls the blankets out from under him and covers himself completely.

There was silence for a long time and Stiles hoped that Derek had finally dropped the conversation. Talking about it actually hurt almost as bad as ignoring it. He didn’t want to hear all the excuses Derek was making. He’d abandon him. That was it.

The lights turned out and he shuddered at the darkness that closed in around him. A sudden dip in the bed startled Stiles and he quickly uncovered his head to tell Derek to fuck off but Derek’s body was under the blankets and traveling up towards him with every sway and dip in the mattress.

“Derek! What the hell! Get off my bed!” he stage whispered, not wanting to wake the sleeping two on the ground.

“There has obviously been a miscommunication and that’s probably all been my fault.” As he spoke he sidled up close next to Stiles and put one hand on either side of Stiles’ body so he had no choice but to look at him. “I shouldn’t have ignored you, I shouldn’t have left you alone, I shouldn’t have dodged your messages, I shouldn’t have let you go, and I’m…” Derek’s face grew constipated and Stiles frowned too, wondering what the heck was going on in his mind. “…sorry.”

Stiles almost missed that last whisper and it took a bit to register and even longer to believe it actually came out of Derek’s mouth. Stiles felt pain at his words but with it there was some relief.

His hand darted out and connected with Derek’s jaw although he could’ve easily avoided it but he left his hand up there, gripping the back of Derek’s neck like he never wanted to let go.

“You _asshole_! You can’t even beg _i_ n to know how much it hurt when you ignored me. Don’t you _ever_ fucking leave me aga _i_ n.” Stiles’ voice cracked twice trying to hold back his tears but he just couldn’t.

Derek’s hand came up to cup Stiles’ cheek and thumb away a tear, scowling down at him but without the usual malice.

“Ok.”

That’s all he said but Stiles’ heart inflated with relief. “You better not be lying. I can’t take you abandoning me again. I think I’d die.” He whispered the last part so quietly it almost wasn’t there. Almost.

Derek leaned down and pressed his lips ever so lightly against Stiles’ like a silent promise then scooted over so that he was lying on his side next to Stiles. Stiles followed his body movement until they were facing each other and kept his hand pressed against Derek’s neck, taking comfort in his warmth and in being able to feel the pulse of life beneath his palm as proof that he wasn’t hallucinating him. Derek’s hand was still resting beneath his head, thumb still tracing away tear tracks.

“Will you be here in the morning?” he whispered.

Derek nodded and Stiles pressed even closer to Derek’s body, reveling in the warmth he’d missed for so long. Derek turned his head slightly to press into the bandages of Stiles’ wrist, kissing them slightly.

“I should have been there.” He whispered gruffly against the rough bandages.

Stiles nodded and draped his arm across Derek’s waist so their fronts were pressed together. It was completely non-sexual and brought him immeasurable comfort that soothed his stressed mind.

“You should sleep. It doesn’t look like you’ve gotten much.” Derek said and his thumb traced the dark circles underneath his eye which he could clearly see even in this darkness. “How the Hell did Scott think that you were alright? He and Isaac both are idiots.”

Stiles shrugged. “They haven’t really seen me lately and I hate them worrying so…well. I don’t exactly make it public news.”

Derek just nods and drapes his arm over Stiles’ waist like Stiles had his and held him tight. Stiles yawned wide and slightly painfully. He didn’t want to sleep for a number of reasons but mostly because he was afraid that Derek would disappear if he did. When his eyes slid shut he constantly jerked them back open. Soon he was nodding off only to jerk back awake with a whine of fear but Derek was still there, shushing him and holding him tight.

“Don’t leave me.” He whispered before he finally fell dead asleep.

 

**~**

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not a summary....  
> Sorry it's taken so long to get this out. I'm just gonna post the rest of it at once so that yalls don't have to wait any longer. I hope you enjoy!  
> Also, thank you to everyone who leaves kudos and comments. I have a bad habit of not responding to comments 'cause I feel like an idiot with nothing good to say. So just know that I read them and am ridiculously happy whenever I receive them. Thank you!

There was a bright light behind Stiles’ eyelids pulling him from his sleep. He grumbled a bit and turned over, pressing his face into something warm and solid. He sighed contentedly before it registered in his mind that there was something warm and solid in his bed. Jolting backwards Stiles flailed only to be held down by a heavy, warm grip. Finally he thought to open his eyes and stared right into Derek’s eyes and relief poured throughout him, slumping forward to press his forehead against Derek’s chest.

“Holy Hell you scared me. I’d thought…” he didn’t finish his sentence.

“I’m still here.”

Derek’s chest rumbled wonderfully against his ear and Stiles sighed again this time in relief.

“What time is it?” he groaned after a bit of soaking in the Derek-ness.

“Probably around noon sometime. I didn’t want to leave you.”

“Not even to eat or go to the bathroom?” Stiles asked as if it was out of the question not to but really he was delighted that Derek hadn’t left.

“Not even for a second.” Derek confirmed.

Stiles made a content noise and burrowed into Derek, wrapping his arms around his torso. He stayed like that for a while completely ignoring his morning wood which he promptly kept at bay since he didn’t know if he could trust Derek with that again just yet. There was a click then Scott suddenly came bursting through his door without so much as a knock, not that he has ever before.

“Stiles, man, it’s almost time for lunch and you have nothing! We should…uh…you’re…Derek…still in…bed. Uuuhhh…” Scott awkwardly trailed off.

“You’d think that after seeing us in the same bed so often that he’d be used to it.” Stiles quipped, a little irritated at Scott.

Derek made a noise of agreement while Scott huffed indignantly.

“Well! I _know_ about this…think you two have going on but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna be used to it!”

Stiles snorted and shook his head, giving another quick squeeze around Derek’s torso before letting go and sitting up, draping his legs over the edge of the bed. His jeans were bunched up weird and his legs had painful little imprints in them from the denim.

“Ugh, last time I sleep in jeans.” He mumbled before getting up.

Stiles went over to his drawers and pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a graphic t-shirt.

“You aren’t going to get undressed, like naked…are you?”

“Scott, get out.” Stiles grunted as he worked the button of his jeans open.

“Have you two, um, done it yet? Not that I’m against it! I just…”

“Scott! Out!” Derek interrupted his awkward rambling with a yell.

The door slammed behind Scott just as Stiles dropped his pants. Stiles kept his back to Derek since he did _not_ need that temptation right now while he was still trying to get back on his feet and trust him again. That didn’t mean that he was going to leave while he dressed though. It was his room after all and when he glanced over his shoulder as he shucked his shirt he saw Derek’s intense gaze locked on his pale skin. He felt a shiver of arousal but quickly damped it down out of habit and pulled his clothes on quickly.

“Ok! Let me clean up a bit then let’s go get food for the starving wolves!” he said a little too loudly and quickly cleaned up his room so he had something to do while he waited for his erection to go away.

Once he was sure that he was flaccid he turned to look at the slightly rumpled Derek, which definitely didn’t help.

“You getting up sometime today?”

“I was just watching you for a bit.” Derek said as he climbed out of the bed and quickly made it up neatly.

“You could’ve just left that, I never make it anyways.”

“That’d be rude.” Derek said, his voice was gruff but there was a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Stiles just shook his head with a small smile and opened his bedroom door. His father had long since left for work so he made sure that he had his phone before he left his room. On his way down the stairs with Derek trailing a step behind him he punched in his dad’s number.

“Stiles? Is something wrong? Who’s with you today?”

“Nothing’s wrong dad. Derek and Scott are with me today. Isaac had to work. I called because we’re running low on groceries again.”

“I just went to the store last week!”

“Yeah, and we ate it all.”

There was silence over the line for a while until Papa Stilinski’s static-y sigh filtered through.

“Ok, you guys can go to the store but _only_ to the grocery store and back. No stops along the way. Straight there then straight back. They’re to stay with you the entire way. In the car, in the store, then back in the house, got it?”

“Yeah dad, I got it. Going a little overboard on the protection aren’t you?”

“When it comes to you, never.”

Stiles felt his heart inflate a little at the words. “Ok dad, thanks. I’ll call you once I get back home.”

“Make sure you do. Be safe. I love you.”

“Love you too dad. I will.”

Stiles hung up and went into the kitchen to pull out the grocery money hidden in a tiny, old tin in the back of the breadbox next to the fridge.

“I’m sure you both heard all of that so let’s get to it.” Stiles said and pushed his feet into his shoes next to the front door. “Oh wait, I forgot my keys.”

“We’ll take my car.” Derek said from directly behind him.

It startled Stiles a little at how close he was since he’d been trying not to look at him.

“Right then. Scott, you coming?”

“Yeah, I’m grabbing my shoes from your room.”

There was pounding on the stairs as he ran up them.

“I think Scott’s been skipping out on too many of the stealth training sessions you’ve been holding.” He mumbled to Derek who gave a grunt of agreement.

“I heard that!” Scott yelled as he pounded down the stairs again. “Why would I need to be stealthy in your house? I grabbed your house key too.”

Stiles just shook his head and held out his hand for the key as he opened the front door. The sunlight was glaringly bright and he could barely keep his eyes open long enough to lock the door after Scott. He simply followed the familiar curve of his driveway from memory before having to open his eyes again to find Derek’s car parked against the curb. Once he climbed into the passenger seat he carefully blinked his eyes over and over again to adjust to the light.

“Jeez, who’s idea was it to make the sun so freaking bright?” Stiles muttered as he buckled into the seat.

“If you’d woken up in the morning like you should’ve then there wouldn’t have been a problem.” Scott said unhelpfully from behind him as Derek climbed into the driver’s seat and started the engine.

“No, because I wouldn’t have gone outside during that time.” Stiles said with a ‘duh’ implied at the end.

They drove to the store in silence since there wasn’t really anything to talk about but it was a comfortable silence. Derek never turned on his radio so Stiles didn’t want to just take over and mess with his stereo without permission. Once Derek had parked in the closest available spot at the store they all jumped out and Derek and Scott flanked Stiles’ sides. Scott grabbed a cart and Stiles couldn’t help but feel like they stood out. Three guys going grocery shopping wasn’t exactly normal. Two maybe but three was a little weird. Whatever, he was concentrating on what he needed to buy.

“Let’s start over in the bakery, we need bread.”

“And cookies. Can we get cookies?” Scott piped up.

“You paying for them?”

Scott frowned and his shoulders slumped.

“Yeah, didn’t think so.”

They continued on to the meats and cheese section and Stiles threw a pack of mixed shredded cheese in the cart along with a block of cheddar and a block of mozzarella. Next he threw a package of sliced ham and a package of sliced turkey into the cart. He debated on whether or not to get hot dogs but decided against it since he didn’t really like them and his dad didn’t need to be eating them. Next he got a couple packages of bacon for him and turkey bacon for his dad.

“Are one of those packages of bacon for us?” Scott asked, excited.

“Yes, only one though.”

“Yes!” Scott looked as happy as a puppy at the confirmation.

Stiles rolled his eyes and looked over at Derek to see that he looked only slightly excited at the notion of bacon. Huh. Stiles shuffled that bit of information away for next time he was shopping.

Next they wheeled their way over to the fresh produce section and Stiles got a head of lettuce and a bag of salad and threw them into the cart. Carrots, green, yellow, and red bell peppers, mushrooms, tomatoes, and finally some onion were all tossed into the cart. He moved on to the fruits and grabbed a small bag of apples, a bunch of bananas, a few oranges, a bag of plums, and a small box of strawberries.

In the back of the store was the red meats section and he stopped to debate between two packages of ground beef.

“The left one is fresher.” Derek said.

Stiles nodded and put the other one down and tossed that one in.

“What about chicken, can you smell the freshness of those?” he asked and picked up two packages of chicken thighs.

“Left one again.”

That one went in the cart. He held up two different steaks.

“They’re both good plus the one right next to them.”

He tossed all three into the cart.

“Thanks.” He said and brushed his fingers down Derek’s arm.

There was no answer but when Stiles looked over at him the very tips of his ears had turned a nice shade of red. It made him smile but he didn’t say anything, not wanting to embarrass Derek in the middle of a store. That would not be cool.

Next they started going up and down aisles. Stiles put in a jar of pickles, mayonnaise (for him), mustard, barbeque sauce since he knew they were almost out, several boxes of Reese’s Puffs, two boxes of Raisin Bran (for his dad, he hated the stuff), peanut butter and jelly, a can of coffee grounds, some boxes of random pastas, and a jar of spaghetti sauce.

“Should I even get any tuna?” Stiles asked once they reached the canned food aisle.

“Nah man, that stuff stinks and your dad shouldn’t eat it since you almost never do.” Scott said, shaking his head.

Stiles nodded and looked at all the canned stuff. He really didn’t need any of that stuff so he switched aisles which led into the freezer aisles that separated the junk food aisles from the normal food aisles. He grabbed two frozen pizzas, a box of pizza rolls, about 20 frozen bean and cheese burritos since it was 2 for a dollar, a box of chicken nuggets, a meat lasagna (Scott smiled widely when it was put into the almost full cart), a tub of Neapolitan ice cream (not for his dad), and some sugar free ice cream bars for his dad. After that was the refrigerated sections and he grabbed a two gallon jug of milk and some French Vanilla creamer.

“Should I get yogurt?”

Derek shrugged but Scott looked like he was thinking.

“Are you or your dad going to eat it? I certainly won’t.”

“I don’t really eat yogurt.” Derek said.

“Ok! That answers that! Moving on!” Stiles said quickly and wheeled away from the cold section.

Finally they got to the junk food aisles and Stiles sighed.

“Ok Scott, you can pick two bags _only_. Derek, do you want anything?”

Scott immediately ran down the aisle, leaving the cart behind to frolic towards the chips. Derek frowned and looked at the full cart before shaking his head.

“Seriously, you can get something. There’s plenty of money for you to get a couple of things.”

Scott came running back holding a giant bag of Fun Yuns and another of Sun Chips Garden Salsa flavor. Stiles looked pointedly at Derek who sighed and walked down the aisle as if he really didn’t want to.

“Can we _please_ get some cookies?!” Scott pleaded.

Stiles frowned but sighed and waved his hand in the direction of the bakery.

“Fine, grab a bag of cookies and come right back. Nothing else!” he scolded but Scott was already running off.

Stiles rolled the cart over to where Derek was glaring at the chips like it was their fault for having so many options. Stiles reached past Derek and grabbed a can of Salt and Vinegar Pringles.

“You know, even though I can’t stand the smell of them these things make my mouth water. They’re my favorite flavor. I just hate how it burns when the edges cut the corners of my mouth. It totally sucks ‘cause then there’s salt _and_ vinegar in the cuts.” Stiles let out a small huff of laughter.

“I can’t stand how they smell either.” Derek grumbled and finally reached out to grab a bag of Barbeque Lays.

“Good choice. I love those.” Stiles nodded in approval.

Scott skidded to a stop next to the cart and put a bag of chocolate chip cookies on top of everything else. Good thing the eggs and bread were in the small seat of the cart because Scott was anything but careful. Stiles just rolled his eyes and continued to push the heavy cart. He grabbed a bag of normal, lightly salted tortilla chips and some chunky salsa and then they were moving on.

“Ok, last we’ve gotta grab the beverages.”

“This is a lot of stuff. Where’s the drinks going to go?”

“On the bottom. I’m not grabbing individual drinks.”

Scott nodded like he’d already thought of that and hadn’t just asked a stupidly obvious question.

Once they got to the beverages Stiles reached out to pick up the heavy 24 pack of water bottles but Derek quickly stepped forward and heaved it onto the bottom of the cart before Stiles could even touch it. Stiles just raised an eyebrow and gave him a small, sideways smirk.

“Scott grab a pack of whatever soda you want. Derek you can too if you’d like.”

Scott ran off again but Derek just shook his head.

“Water’s good enough for me.” Derek said and Stiles just nodded, not pushing it.

“I’m going to grab a couple boxes of tea bags and some Crystal Light or something to go in the water. My dad really likes the Peach flavored ones which is weird ‘cause he hates peaches.” Stiles shrugged and wheeled over to the dry goods part of the beverage section.

“Apple cinnamon tea is my favorite.” Derek said quietly next to him.

Stiles smiled and grabbed a box of those along with some earl grey and mint medley. He tossed those in the cart before grabbing the small box of peach Crystal Light flavoring. Scott came back after that holding a box of Mountain Dews.

“Can you grab a box of Canada Dry and Coca Cola too?”

Scott nodded and hurried off.

“You sure you don’t want anything else? I can go back to the meat section and grab you a package of bacon all for yourself.”

Derek’s face scrunched up as if he wanted to smile and frown at the same time. It wouldn’t surprise Stiles if he could actually do that.

“No, I’m good. I have food at home.”

Stiles shrugged and pushed the cart down the aisle where he reached Scott who was just about to hurry back with the requested boxes of beverages. He slid them onto the bottom rack of the cart and scootched Stiles over so he could take the cart again.

“Well, I think we’re done. What do you guys say?”

“I say that we should grab another bag or two of chips for Isaac. He likes cheesy popcorn and the Chicken and Waffles flavored Lays.”

“Those are, like, the worst snack foods ever. They taste nasty, they smell nasty, they just _are_ nasty.” Stiles said with an ‘ew’ face.

Scott just shrugged. “I think putting Red Hot hot sauce in Macaroni and Cheese is nasty but I don’t care that you eat it.”

“No, that is the most delicious thing ever.” Stiles said, pointing at Scott and waving his finger around.

Derek made a small noise and Stiles looked over at him to see that he was pulling an ‘ew’ face that Stiles had just seconds before. Stiles just harrumphed and let it go since everybody had different tastes.

“Go ahead and grab the snacks for Isaac but make it quick. I’m sure my father is starting to wonder why I’m not back yet.”

Scott rushed off and Derek took over the cart this time and they started wheeling towards the checkout lines. Stiles was content with brushing his arm against Derek’s every other step until Scott got back and he took a little step away so Derek wouldn’t be uncomfortable with the miniscule public display of affection. The checkout lines were short despite it being a Saturday afternoon and they got through the checkout process as fast as could be expected of a bored, underpaid employee working on a Saturday scanning a hundred or so items. With the cart now full of bagged groceries they wheeled outside to Derek’s Camaro.

“So, are you both staying all day?” Stiles asked as they loaded the trunk with all the goods.

“I’m staying.” Derek surprised him by saying first.

“I already volunteered the weekends so I’m fine with staying.”

“Well, I mean if you don’t want to be here, like, if Allison is waiting for you or you want to go play video games or whatever that’s fine.” Stiles shrugged, putting the eggs and bread off to the side so they didn’t go in the trunk.

Scott was strangely silent and Stiles looked over to see a contemplative look on his face.

“You can go Scott.” Stiles said and smiled when Scott tossed him a weird look. “I’m serious. I know you already have plans for the weekends.”

“You do?! How though? I never…told you… You were just guessing, weren’t you?”

Stiles let out a small laugh that wasn’t nearly as humorous as he made it sound. “Yeah, I know. You always hang out with Allison on the weekends since you guys don’t have time, even if you relationship is pretty platonic at this point.”

“Well, I mean, Kira kinda left after the whole… _thing_ went down so I was kinda hoping that she’d…take me back.”

“It’s ok to call that ‘ _thing_ ’ what it was. I was possessed by the Nogitsune.” Stiles said nonchalantly as if just the name of the thing didn’t hurt him to say. “You should take any chance you get with her. I must say, you two are certainly meant for each other.” He said with false brightness.

Derek growled beside him quietly and Scott gave him a strange look but didn’t say anything. Stiles just finished loading the trunk before slamming it shut and grabbing the eggs and bread from the cart.

“Here, put this away.” Stiles said and quickly climbed into the passenger’s seat signaling the end of the conversation.

They were quickly on their way back to his house and again the ride was completely silent, though a little more uncomfortable. It was a relief when they turned onto his street and pulled up to his house. They made quick work of bringing in the groceries since real men only made one trip from the car or died trying. Luckily having two werewolves with supernatural strength carrying groceries made it less stressful for Stiles since they took most of the bags in.

Scott carried everything directly to the kitchen as soon as Stiles let them in the house with Derek following so that Stiles could lock the door again with his one free hand. There were bags on every surface and Stiles felt a bit accomplished with having gotten this much. It meant there wouldn’t be another trip to the grocery store within the next week or so.

“I gotta call my dad real quick. Go ahead and put things away where ever you think they go.” Stiles said and dialed his dad’s number.

“Thank all that is good in heaven.” Was the first thing out of Papa Stilinski’s mouth.

“Yeah, it just took longer than I thought it would. You wouldn’t be angry if I told you I just spent about 300 dollars on groceries would you? I mean, now we won’t have to go grocery shopping every single week! And werewolves eat a lot so I had to get a bit more meat than usual. And chips. And soda. Not for you though. I did get you some dessert though!”

“Stiles it’s fine. I put that money aside specifically for groceries. As long as you didn’t splurge on a bunch of junk food. If I have to suffer then you do too.”

Stiles felt a bit of tension release at the sound of his father’s laugh. He didn’t get to hear that often enough and it pained him to know that he was the main cause of that.

“You know that I’m fine with whatever I eat. Unless it’s lima beans. Those are a monstrosity to food kind. Oh and Brussels sprouts. Ugh.”

“I agree with you there kid. You didn’t make any stops along the way did you? Who am I kidding, Derek! Did my son abide by the rules?”

Stiles squawked indignantly as Derek pulled the phone from his fingers.

“Yes sir. There was no rule breaking.” There was a pause as his dad talked and Stiles crossed his arms and made a show of tapping his foot in mock frustration. “We’ve locked everything already. Scott has to leave in a bit though.” Another pause then a nod before Derek remembered that his dad couldn’t actually see him nod then, “Yes sir. I’ll watch over him.” Pause. “Always within eyesight, got it. Alright, have a good day sir.” He held the phone out to Stiles. “He wants to talk to you again.”

Stiles took the phone back and before it’d even reached his ear he was talking. “Don’t trust me at all do you old man?” There was a huff on the other side that made Stiles smile. “I’m just kidding dad. You’re not old yet.”

“As if. I’m in my prime.” Stiles actually gave a small laugh at that. “Alright son, make sure not to do anything stupid and stay next to Derek at all times.”

“Got it dad. Now get to work and make sure not to stress yourself out too much and give yourself a heart attack.”

“I won’t as long as you stay safe.”

“Ok dad. I’ll talk to you later.”

“I’ll call you sometime around 10 tonight. Talk to you later son.”

They hung up and Stiles felt his small smile melt away with worry for his dad. He really hoped that whatever was out there wasn’t targeting things other than his numbered victims. Even that wasn’t good but still, he didn’t want anything near his father.

“He’ll be fine Stiles. Come put stuff away since you actually know where everything goes.” Derek said and Stiles heard him shuffled towards the kitchen.

“Right.”

 They spent the next twenty minutes or so putting everything away in its proper place. A lot of stuff went into the freezer in the garage when the kitchen freezer as filled to the brink. Usually they never used that freezer since it was just his dad and him and they didn’t need so much food. When he was out there he found several forgotten about boxes of fish sticks and pot pies. Cool.

When Stiles came back in from putting everything away in the garage Scott was already gone and Derek was lurking right next to the door, waiting for him to come back in.

“Scott got a call from Allison and rushed off.” Derek informed him.

Stiles nodded and shut and locked the door behind him. “Yeah, I figured he’d take off quickly. Did he take his chips with him or did he leave them?”

“He left them.”

“Good. I’m eating those first.” Stiles said and stalked to the kitchen and pulled Scott’s chips off the shelf in his full pantry.

Derek just gave him an amused look when he pulled open the bag and crunched haughtily on several chips, reaching in and grabbed a handful himself and crunched on one. Stiles smiled at that and gave a small snort and a nod.

“Good, you help me devour them so we’re both to blame.”

They took the chips up to Stiles’ room since there wasn’t anything to do downstairs and pulled Netflix on his laptop as they climbed onto the bed and settled in.

“Ok, Batman or Superman?”

“Are those the only two choices?”

“Unless you want to watch An American Werewolf in London.” Stiles snickered.

Derek growled for half a second but his face wasn’t angry. “Batman then.”

“Bruce Wayne it is!” Stiles crowed and clicked the play button.

The movie was a good distraction from everything that was going on, from all the shit in their lives and they could just forget it all for the couple of hours watching Bruce Wayne kick ass and have his ass kicked.

“You know I think Morgan Freeman is my favorite character.” Stiles said as the credits started to roll.

“You mean Lucius Fox?”

“Aw! You were paying attention! For a while there I thought you’d fallen asleep.”

Derek scowled at him. “I pay more attention than you probably give me credit for.”

“Probably.” Stiles accepted and stretched, feeling his shoulders and knees pop. “What do you want to do now?”

“We should research more on this creature.”

Stiles groaned and flopped back onto his pillow. “I knew you’d say that. I just want one normal day. Is that too much to ask?”

Derek gave him a frown that said ‘really?’. “The sooner we figure out what this thing is the sooner we’ll have more ‘normal’ days and the sooner your father will be out of danger.”

Stiles groaned longer and deeper. “I hate it when you make sense.”

He didn’t argue more than that and quickly exited out of Netflix to pull up the parts of the bestiary already translated.

“Ok, so, I’ve already keyed in all of the obvious key words such as rape, which, by the way, had _way_ too many results, vanishing, number killer, methodical killings, etcetera. There are either too many results or results that just don’t fit with the killings. We need Lydia to translate the rest of the bestiary as fast as she can. I want to catch this thing before it kills anyone else and if that’s not an option at least before it kills me.”

“I am _not_ letting it kill you.” Derek’s growl is louder than Stiles expected and he jumped.

“Well, if it does at least then you’d know what it was and would be able to catch it before it kills anyone else.” Stiles reasoned.

This time the growl was right in his ear as Derek moved closer, putting his face right into Stiles’.

“You are not dying.” Derek enunciated every word slowly as if Stiles didn’t understand.

Stiles just shrugged and looked away from Derek. “I’m just saying…” he mumbled.

“There is no ‘saying’ Stiles. It’s not happening. End of story.”

Stiles just sighed and closed out of the bestiary. He shut the laptop, putting it into sleep mode, and set it off to the side on the ground next to his bed.

“I’ll go call Lydia.” He said quietly and slid off the bed with his phone in hand and walked from his room to the bathroom.

Quickly he dialed her number and waited as it rang. And rang and rang. Her voicemail sounded in his ear and he sighed pressing end and redialed. Again he only got the voicemail so this time he left her a voicemail telling her a brief summary of what was going on and that once again they were in need of her amazing dead language skills. He called Scott and wasn’t surprised to get his voicemail and left a message telling him that he didn’t need to come over tomorrow either since Derek would be there and to have fun with Allison.

He took a few minutes to himself, pretending that Derek wasn’t just on the other side of the door, and sunk to the floor. He felt so overwhelmed with what was happening. Another killer was on the loose; once again he was a target of something that would most likely kill him; he didn’t know what was going on between him and Derek; his dad was out there putting himself into unnecessary danger; and Stiles was once again helpless to stop it all.

There was a knock on the door after about fifteen minutes of wallowing followed by, “Stiles, are you ok?”

“You’d know if I weren’t wouldn’t you?” Stiles meant the words to come out snarky but they fell flat and sounded tired and beaten instead.

The door opened and the frame was filled with Derek’s figure. “Yeah I would and I can smell your grief. Instead of sitting in here and swimming in your negativity you sit with me on the bed and watch another movie. Superman this time.”

Stiles stared at Derek’s face as it tried to look encouraging and instead looked like he’d smelled something that should have been thrown out weeks ago and was rotting in the bottom of his fridge. It made Stiles smile at least and he simply nodded and took Derek’s hand when he offered it.

“Alright.” Is all he said and let himself be pulled back into his room.

They sat and watched movie after movie on Netflix until the green numbers on Stiles’ bedside clock read 10:13 and he realized that his dad hadn’t called yet. He jabbed the pause button on Men in Black II and grabbed his phone, lighting up the screen with a press of a button. The battery was still more than half full and there were no missed calls.

“My dad said he’d call by 10.” He said in response to Derek’s startled sound. “He’s never missed calling me when he said he would.” Stiles fingers were flying over the buttons, dialing his dad’s number even before he’d finished talking.

The phone rang and rang in Stiles’ ear making his heart pound harder and harder with each ring. On the sixth ring the sound cut off and was replaced by “Stiles?”

Stiles’ breath whooshed out of him and he slumped against the closest thing which happened to be Derek. “Hey dad, I saw that it was past 10 and knew that you were gonna call around that time so I figured you know…why not call you first?” his voice cracked on the last syllable.

“Is it really that late already?! Oh Stiles, I’m so sorry. I got caught up in looking over evidence that I completely lost track of time. I thought I still had at least half an hour left before I had to call. Are you ok? Everything still good there?”

Stiles was trembling with relief that was almost painful. “Yeah dad, just…gave me a bit of a fright. You’ve got to watch the clock better during these times ok?”

There was silence for a bit followed by a long sigh. “I’m sorry son, I really did just lose track of time. I’ll be getting off in about an hour or so.”

“Want me to call you again to make sure that you actually get off on time?” Stiles tried to joke but the fear was still too fresh and his voice trembled.

Derek’s arm came up and circled hesitantly around Stiles. Stiles looked up at him and gave him a watery smile and relaxed further into Derek.

“No, no. I’ll be sure to watch the clock this time. I want you to get some good sleep. I know you haven’t been sleeping well so every minute counts.”

“I’m totally fine dad,” Derek’s chest rumbled against him at the lie, “you don’t have to worry about me. I’m in good hands. Just focus on staying safe. Tomorrow I want you to tell me everything you’ve found out about the case. We’re still having breakfast right?”

It was a Stilinski tradition to have Sunday breakfast together every week and Stiles had only missed a handful of those in his life. It was sad that most of those had been within the last couple years.

“Yeah, I’ll be home for that. We can talk over waffles and pancakes. You get some sleep now Stiles.”

“I’ll do my best. Stay safe dad.”

“I will. Good night Derek.”

“Good night sir.” Derek said, leaning forward so that his voice could be heard too.

“Night dad.” Stiles said and the line went dead in his ear.

Stiles sighed and pressed the end button and clutched the phone in his hands for a few more minutes.

“You really should sleep. He was right about you not getting enough sleep even if last night you did sleep for 12 hours straight. You’ve got dark circles under your eyes.”

“I think sleepless nights come with the job.” Stiles said and set his phone down onto the bedside table on full volume so if it went off it’d wake him if he fell asleep. He plugged it in then turned back to Derek. “Well, you want to call it a night and try to sleep? Or do you want to finish this movie?”

“I’d much rather sleep than watch another minute of that movie.”

Stiles gave an exaggerated gasp, clutching at his chest in mock hurt. “How dare you! Those movies are classic! They’re marvelous!”

“They’re irritatingly fake with a repetitive plot every movie. Also, aliens don’t exist.”

“How would you know?” Stiles asked as he powered down his laptop. “Have you been to space? Have you explored the universe and determined that there are indeed no other life forms on other planets?”

“No, but if they’d landed on Earth and lived among us I’m positive I’d have heard of it. Now get into your pajamas, I’m turning out the light.”

Stiles blew a raspberry at him before following directions and picking up the flannel pajama bottoms and t-shirt he usually wore to bed up off the ground where he’d tossed them a couple nights ago. The lights went out before he could pull his pants off all the way and he stumbled blindly for a second before managing to wrestle at least one foot free so he didn’t face plant.

“Not funny! I almost broke my face!”

“I didn’t laugh.”

“I could hear the amusement in your silence.” Stiles grumbled and managed to wrestle free his other foot from his sweats.

He tugged off his shirt so that he stood there in only his boxers and briefly contemplated just going to bed like that. The thought itself sent a shiver of arousal through him but he quickly shook his head and jammed his feet into the pajamas and jerked the shirt over his head. He didn’t need to make things awkward between him and Derek again when things finally seemed normal-ish again. Quickly he climbed into the bed next to Derek who was already under the covers.

“Oh, did you want some pajamas to sleep in too?”

“Nothing you have will fit me.”

“Oh yeah, well, I know from experience that jeans are _not_ comfortable. I’m sure that my dad wouldn’t mind me grabbing a pair of his sweats and a t-shirt.”

“I don’t want to smell your dad’s scent while I lay next to you.” Derek growled.

Stiles made an ick face at the thought. “Ok fine, suffer in your denim prison. No skin off my legs.”

Derek huffed and there was shuffling behind him, the bed dipping oddly for a bit before Derek pressed against his back again. Stiles pressed one bare foot backwards against Derek’s leg and gave a small start at the bare skin he felt.

“That…that works too.” Stiles said and clamped down viciously on the tendril of arousal that threatened to climb to the surface.

“If that’s ok with you.”

“Totally fine. Now go to sleep.” Stiles huffed.

Derek’s chest rumbled against his back as he gave a short laugh and Stiles felt a small smile grace his lips before he shut his eyes and actually tried to sleep. It took a while, a long while, but soon his mind got fuzzy and those restless, never ending thoughts buzzing around in his brain slowly faded away and he too faded into unconsciousness, pressed against the safety of Derek and feeling warmer than he had in weeks.

 

**A/N: I REACHED 300 PAGES!! It’s so exciting! I write everything in a word document then transfer them to individual documents per chapter and I just reached 300+ pages not including the author’s notes. I’m so happy!!!!!**

 


	17. Chapter 17

 “Stiles, wake up. You’re dad’s setting the table.”

A hand was clasping his shoulder and shaking him vigorously to rouse him from his sleep. It worked. Grumbling he swatted at the disturbance but missed every time and simply provoked greater shaking.

“Ok, ok, I’m up. What time is it?” he asked with a yawn, stretching his body out to its fullest before deflating again.

“9:53. He let you sleep in this long, now get up.” Derek’s voice was right in his ear.

“Yeah. I’m getting there.”

Finally he sat up and rubbed his eyes, not wanting to open them yet since the room was already bright behind his eyelids. After sitting there for a couple minutes he slowly opened his eyes and took a peek at Derek. His dark hair was mussed from sleep and he had a fading crease mark on his cheek. It was probably the most disheveled he’d ever seen Derek. It was actually a pretty good look on him. Too bad the usual scowl was back in place mixed with a little annoyance.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m awake now.” Stiles shooed Derek’s grumpy face away and climbed out of bed.

He immediately stumbled to the door and Derek gave him a weird look. “Aren’t you going to get dressed?” he asked, gesturing to Stiles’ pajama clad figure.

“Nah, I always end up going back to bed after or just lazing around the house so there’s no point in getting dressed.”

Derek just shrugged and got up to follow him but paused when he’d stood up. “Um, should I wait here? I don’t think I’m invited to a family…thing.” He finished lamely.

Stiles just rolled his eyes and tugged open the door. “Come on. My dad would scold me for bad manners if I let the guest miss out on breakfast. It’s just a tradition my dad and I like to keep since my mom started it when I was seven.” Derek could smell the sadness radiate from Stiles when he talked about his mom. “She said it was a good time for the three of us to be a family since we hardly ever spent time together.” Stiles kept talking as he walked down the hall to the stairs. “I was always at school, my dad was always at work, and my mom worked a part-time job so our times never matched up except for on Sundays.”

Derek didn’t say anything and Stiles didn’t expect him to since family was a rough subject for the both of them and they walked down the stairs to the kitchen in silence. The scent of cinnamon waffles and chocolate chip pancakes wafted to them from the kitchen and Stiles’ scent immediately brightened, though the sad edge was still there. A large smile took over his face when his dad looked up to see them standing by the table.

“Mornin’ boys! I hope you’re hungry. I made enough for a small village.”

“My stomach’s a little wonky this morning but I could definitely eat a couple!” Stiles said and it made Derek’s mouth pull down in the corners to hear the false cheer and lies in his tone but he kept that to himself.

“I’m starving, sir.” Derek says gruffly and takes a seat at the table right after Stiles, sitting next to him since he recalls the Sherriff sitting across from Stiles on nights where he’s checked up on them.

Papa Stilinski set the plate with the tower of pancakes in the middle of the table alongside the waffles he already placed there. The butter and syrup were placed beside that and Papa Stilinski finally took his seat, already reaching for a stack of three pancakes. The plates had already been all set in a stack so Stiles and Derek reached for theirs along with a knife and a fork and began grabbing their own breakfast.

“So, dad, how are things at the station? Find anything out?”

Papa Stilinski nodded, his eyebrows lifting high on his forehead as he finished the bite in his mouth. “You know how I put out that order for anyone with a number to come in?” Stiles nods as he butters up his pancake. “Well, so far we have the numbers seven through ten and thirteen.”

Stiles freezes everything he’s doing and stares at his father, his mouth hanging open a little. “That many?”

The terror that sours the air makes Derek growl. He hated that the brave, head-strong Stiles was so easily scared now. What the _Hell_ had caused that? Derek shook his head. He knew what caused it. He’d caused it. The supernatural shit that has been going on has caused it. Been possessed and not being able to control his own actions and having to remember had caused it. The horror of what was to come had caused it. There was so much that Derek could have done but had been too blind and stupid to do anything about it. The sound of a fork clattering on a plate pulled him from his thoughts and his head jerked up from his soggy pancake to see Stiles shakily reaching for his fork that lay on the ground.

“You ok son?” Papa Stilinski asked quickly, worry etching itself in every line of his weathered face.

“Yeah dad, I was just kind of shocked. This thing, whatever or whoever it is, has obviously been planning this for a while. It’s sick and twisted and…just…” he couldn’t even finish his sentence.

Derek’s hand made a decision without his brain telling it to and reached out and slid across the back of Stiles’ neck and grabbed on gently, petting the hair at his nape soothingly. Derek’s brain kicked in and he almost jerked his hand back except Stiles relaxed into his grip, shoulder’s slumping. He could smell the panic slowly subsiding as he continued stroking his hair at his nape ever so lightly.

“It’ll be ok Stiles. My deputies and I are doing everything we can to find this guy. We’ve made a call to the big guns so they’re aware of the situation going on here.”

Incredibly Stiles let out a small snort and an even smaller smile as he looked at his dad. “I thought you hated those guys.”

Papa Stilinski straightened a little in his chair and pinched his face into a determined look. “It’s not that I hate them, it’s just that I think they’re arrogant and push people around too much and never listen when I try and talk to them. They’re a frustrating bunch that’s for sure!”

Stiles huffed a small laugh and stabbed his pancake and tore a piece off, shoving it into his mouth. The mood lightened again and Derek finally pulled his hand back so he could use his knife to cut up the rest of his pancake and start eating again. He was on his third pancake and second waffle by the time that Stiles spoke again.

“So, anything else? No more bodies? No leads?”

Papa Stilinski shook his head as he polished off his waffle that had followed the three pancakes. “Not so far.”

Stiles relaxes a bit but there’s still a bit of tension. “I just hate the waiting. That’s the thing that’s going to kill me first.”

“Nothing is going to kill you.” Derek growls, cutting his fourth waffle with unneeded force.

Out of the corner of his eye Derek sees the tired smile Stiles gives him. Papa Stilinski pauses in his sipping of his coffee as he watches these exchanges between the two but doesn’t say anything and watches as Stiles finishes his one pancake and Derek finishes most of the pancakes and waffles. After letting his breakfast settle a bit he checks his watch and almost chokes on his coffee.

“I have to get to work. If I blare the sirens I might make it without being too late.” He says and quickly gets up to put his dishes in the sink and down the rest of his coffee and place the mug in there too.

Stiles looks at the clock on the oven and nods. “You might be right about that. I’m guessing five minutes late since it’s already ten to 11.”

“Right you are kiddo. I’ll call you around dinner time and I won’t forget this time.” Papa Stilinski promises as he holster’s his weapon and shrugs on his jacket.

Stiles get up and follows him to the front door and is surprised when his father pulls him in for a tight hug and drops a kiss to his forehead. The comforting scent of coffee and his dad washes over him and he leans into it, needing the comfort.

“Stay safe son.”

“I will. I love you.”

“Love you too. Make sure to lock everything up! And call me if you need anything! Anything at all!” Papa Stilinski calls as he walks out of the house to his squad car.

“I will, promise! Don’t spend all day worrying about me and do your job!”

Papa Stilinski waves from the car and Stiles waves back until he’s out of sight and then he’s shutting and locking all the locks on the door. Stiles let out a long sigh and slumps against the door. There’s sudden warmth pressing against his back and arms pull him away from the door and back against a body and Stiles leans into Derek.

“Derek…I don’t know what to do. I can’t research anything. I can’t help out in the investigation. I feel so useless.” He whispers and the arms around him tighten.

 “I don’t know how to make you feel better.” Derek’s voice rumbles into Stiles’ ear, making him shiver.

They’re silent for a bit and Stiles revels in the warmth of Derek and the steady beating of his heart.

“Derek? Can I ask you something?”

There’s a rumble of affirmative against his back.

“When you touch me do you feel anything at all? Or were you just swept up in my feelings last time?”

Derek’s silent for so long that Stiles can feel the flare of pain of his breaking heart again but then Derek’s arms tighten around him.

“I…I don’t know. I just know that I hate the scent of sadness and pain on you all the time. I hate the way you fall into depression and when you hurt yourself. I hate when you’re hurt. And I hate that I don’t know what to do. When I touch you…” Derek paused and tries to find the appropriate way to phrase this. “…it feels like I’m taking away some of that pain. I like it when you feel good. It makes me feel good. I don’t know if what happened while you were at my place was what made me feel like this or if it’s been growing or if it’s because my pack mate is in danger.”

Stiles nodded when it was obvious Derek wasn’t going to continue. “So, you’d do this with your other pack mates? Scott? Isaac? I don’t even want to say Peter because ick.”

Derek actually growled at that and let Stiles go except for his wrist so that he could drag him up the stairs and back into the confines of Stiles’ room.

“I don’t like just standing there talking about something like this.” Derek says as he sits down on Stiles’ bed and pulls Stiles into the space between his thighs.

Stiles stiffens and folds his fingers together since he doesn’t know what to do with them.

“To answer your question, no I wouldn’t do that for Scott or Isaac and certainly not Peter.” Derek makes an ick face in agreement even though Stiles can’t see him. “I guess it’s just limited to you. I try not to think about things that involve…”

“Feelings?” Stiles supplies when Derek struggles for the right word.

Derek huffs in slight exasperation. “If that’s what you want to call it. So, since I don’t really think about it, I don’t really know.”

Stiles nods and tries to process what he’s just been told. “So, if I were to come onto you right now would you feel aroused because you want to or because I’m aroused?” Derek stills and goes rigid behind him. “Not that I am! You don’t have to worry about that. I won’t make you do that anymore.”

Derek growls and wraps his arms around Stiles’ torso. “That’s the part I hate right there. The scent of pain and sadness on you. If you were to come on to me right now I don’t think I’d become aroused simply because you were. At the moment I don’t think either of us should feel aroused with the danger towards your life.”

Stiles laughs a humorless laugh. “It only takes my life being endangered at every turn and severe depression and self-harm for you to talk to me like a real person.”

Derek seems to choke behind him. “I don’t mean to.” He says, each word halting. “I just don’t know what to say or how to act and I hate letting people get close to me because they could hurt me. It’s…hard to trust others.”

“Yeah.” Stiles turns sideways in Derek’s lap so that his legs are over Derek’s leg and he’s leaning against his chest. “I understand. After what Kate did…if that ever happened to me I don’t think I’d be able to trust anyone either.”

Kate’s name was a sharp blade of anger between Derek’s shoulder blades but then Stiles was petting his chest lightly as if he knew of the hurt it caused and slowly the anger and hurt slid away. Stiles continues to pet him and Derek’s fingers start mimicking Stiles and brushes against his side rhythmically. They stay like that for a long while and the change in the atmosphere is so subtle and spread out that it takes a while for Derek to notice it. When he does he looks down at Stiles who had been looking up at him with half lidded eyes. As soon as Derek lifts an eyebrow at him Stiles’ face goes red and he’s looking away fast.

“Uh, sorry. Sorry, I know you said it’s a bad time and it really is but I haven’t…it’s been a long time and you’re here and…sorry.” He finishes lamely.

“Quit apologizing. You’re not doing anything wrong.” Derek demands and his arm draped over Stiles’ legs moves and he smooths his palm over Stiles’ calf to his thighs.

Stiles sputters and quickly stops Derek’s hand. “No, no, no. I don’t want you to do anything about it. I just want to stay like this.”

Derek puts his hand back down and under Stiles’ legs pulling him closer so he can grab and lift him while he swings his legs up as he lies down on the bed, settling Stiles next to him. They both settle on their sides, looking at each other. Derek reaches up a single finger and gently traces the still prominent shadows underneath Stiles’ eyes.

“They’re still there after all the sleep you’ve gotten the past couple of days.”

“When I’m asleep all I see are monsters so I don’t think that can be counted as rest.”

Derek’s eyebrows furrow. “But I’m with you all night and you barely even move. When you were at the loft during the storm you’d wake up screaming.”

Stiles shrugs and looks away from Derek’s eyes, downcast. “I’ve kind of accepted them these past weeks. After…being rejected I didn’t see any point in waking up from it since everyday was just another nightmare. And eventually I did stop waking up. Well, on the nights I did manage to sleep.”

“Stiles…” Derek’s voice was choked and Stiles looked up to see the pain fixed in the lines of Derek’s face.

Stiles wanted to give him a reassuring smile or words to dispel that pain but in truth he was hurting too and Derek could see right through his bullshitting so he didn’t.

“How?”

Stiles was startled by the question and the sudden ferocity in Derek’s voice. “How what?”

“How do I make it better? Tell me what I need to do.”

Stiles shook his head. “I’ve already told you everything you need to do. Just don’t leave me and I’m sure that eventually I’ll start getting better. Maybe. I don’t really know.”

The hot palm of Derek’s hand pressed hard against the small of Stiles’ back and pulled him even closer. “Never leaving you again.” Derek growled and Stiles felt his stomach tighten at the truth and determination in his voice.

Stiles couldn’t help himself. Quickly he darted forward and pressed a hard, chaste kiss onto Derek’s lips before withdrawing again.

“Don’t leave me.” His broken voice pleaded to Derek in a breathless whisper.

Derek slid his hand up Stiles’ back to settle the back of Stiles’ head in the flat of his hand and brought him forward again, pressing his lips firmly against Stiles’ like a promise. Derek’s lips were a so gentle even though they were pressed so hard against his. Stiles felt like he could cry but instead kissed Derek back with just as much need. They needed this. They both needed the other for so many reasons to keep them from the pain of loneliness. This kiss wasn’t sexual in the slightest. It was a promise, a reaffirmation of their needs and permission to each other. It was bliss.

When their hard pressed kisses finally came to an end Stiles lips were plump and swollen, shining slightly. Derek’s were a nice, blushing pink and shining like Stiles’. They both looked at each other with satisfaction and finally Stiles gave a smile that wasn’t full of pain or fake.

They lay there like that for a long time, breathing lightly and resting against each other, basking in their combined comfort. Soon Stiles’ eyes began taking longer to open after every blink and yawns interrupted every other breath. Derek’s hand that had settled on his waist gently stroked soothing strokes against the sliver of exposed skin on his hip. Stiles slowly sank into sleep with Derek watching over him.

Derek watched him sleep for a long time, not moving in case that woke Stiles and instead listened to the little sighs he let out, the slight hitch in his breathing every now and then, watching the fluttering of his eyelids as he dreamt. He really honestly hoped that he’d be able to help Stiles. He’d tried everything. Anger, silence, avoidance, even begging when everything else had fallen through and he was just done with it all. Yet still, nothing had worked.

Stiles had always made fun of his inability to simply talk but it was a really hard thing for him to do. Derek had been hurt and angry at the world and truthfully he still was. Yet here was Stiles, put through Hell over these last couple of years and he was just as broken as he was. Seeing and finally realizing that Stiles was so broken had opened something inside of him. He just _knew_ that there was no way that he’d be any help at all if he didn’t do something. This was his last resort.

He didn’t know if he loved Stiles, didn’t even know if he _liked_ him but he certainly didn’t hate him. Not anymore. Looking at him now, fragile and hurting, lying in his arms asleep and vulnerable, it made his wolf howl in agony and sadness and that made him confused, hurt, and more than a little panicked. He didn’t know how to do this whole ‘feeling’ thing that Stiles has so eloquently pointed out earlier. He hasn’t since he shut off his feelings so many years ago. They were rusty and he was afraid he’d hurt Stiles more than help if he did the slightest thing wrong.

Derek sighed and shuffled up the bed a little so he could tuck the top of Stiles’ head under his chin, holding him tightly. Stiles mumbled something Derek didn’t catch and his arm twisted around Derek’s torso, pulling him tight against himself before sighing.

The afternoon quickly turned to evening and Derek found himself dozing off. He wasn’t used to this much inactivity. The sun was dancing on the horizon by the time that Stiles stirred, rubbing his face against Derek’s chest and smelling of contentment and faintly of arousal. Derek gently ran his hand over Stiles’ hair until Stiles yawned and opened his eyes.

“W’at time’s it?”

“5:22. You got some good sleep this time.”

Stiles sniffed and rubbed his face against Derek’s chest again before letting out a long sigh. “Yeah. It was…good.” He said, almost surprised.

“Good.”

Stiles was so warm wrapped up in Derek’s arms and pressed against him so completely. Sometime during his nap he’d wrapped his legs around Derek’s but he made no move to untangle them.

“We should cuddle like this more often. It’s nice. And warm.”

“Whenever you want.”

Stiles lifted his face to stare into Derek’s, one eyebrow raised. “Really? Even if Scott’s over? Or Isaac? What about my dad?”

Derek sighed. “If you must.”

Stiles bites back a smile and sighs again before nuzzling into Derek’s chest. “Yeah right. I won’t do that to you.”

“That would be preferred but if you must then I can manage.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

They stayed like that for a while longer, the sun settling below the horizon and casting the room in shadow before Derek’s stomach growled beneath Stiles’ head.

“Dude, that was impressive. Do you have a little wolf in there?”

Derek rolled his eyes and Stiles snorted. “Hilarious. We should eat though. You only had one pancake this morning.”

“Yeah, yeah. What do you want, I’ll make us something.”

“No, I’ll make us something. You can go watch TV or something.”

They both sat up and Stiles gave Derek a weird look. “Why? I am perfectly capable of handling food.”

“I didn’t say you weren’t. I just want you to take it easy. I’ll make a few sandwiches.” Derek said and stood up, pulling Stiles up along with him.

“O-kay then.”

Instead of going to the living room and watching the television like was suggested Stiles stood next to the counter and watched Derek put together four sandwiches with lettuce, tomato, cheese, ham, pickles, mayonnaise, and mustard. Watching him work made Stiles’ mouth water which eventually made his stomach growl, both for entirely different reasons.

“I’m probably only going to eat one.”

“I know.” Derek nodded and separated the sandwiches onto two plates, one on one and three on the other. “These ones are for me.”

Stiles smiled and took the plate from him. “You know me well.”

“You used to be able to devour all four by yourself.”

“Yeah well, I haven’t got much of an appetite lately.” Stiles said while sitting down.

Derek sat across from him and picked up a sandwich. “I know.” He said and took a big bite from his sandwich.

Stiles smiled once more before taking a smaller bite out of his. The sandwich was devastatingly good. The food felt good settling in his stomach after not eating since the morning. By the time Stiles had taken his second bite Derek was already on the last bite of his first and moving quickly towards his second sandwich.

The phone in Stiles pocket began ringing and Stiles didn’t have to look at it to know that it was his father. He flipped it out and hit the answer button.

“Hey dad, you actually called _at_ dinner this time. Great timing!”

“Stiles, is Derek with you?” The panic in Papa Stilinski’s voice made the last bite sink into his stomach like lead.

“Yeah, he’s right here. Dad, what’s wrong?”

Papa Stilinski let out a shaky breath and his voice was even more strained as he said his next sentence. “We found number four.”

The sandwich slipped from his fingers and fell apart on his plate. Derek’s eyes were wide and his brow furrowed. He too had set his sandwich aside half-eaten. Stiles was staring at him with wide, scared eyes and without thinking Derek’s hand darted out and grabbed his shaking one in a tight grip.

“Did you find anything?” Stiles asked, his voice shaking.

“So far nothing new. The victim is another female but she’s only sixteen Stiles. She’s only a year younger than you.”

“Dad, Dad, it’s ok. Calm down. I think you should come home.” Stiles meant for the words to come out more soothing but instead sounded pleading and slightly panicked.

“I’m on my way Stiles. Don’t let Derek out of your sight.”

“I won’t.” Stiles choked out before the line went dead.

Stiles hung up on the dial tone and sat staring at the phone for another minute before looking up at Derek again with horror written all over his face.

“She was only sixteen Derek. She was so young.”

Derek nodded, not saying anything. He was just as horrified as Stiles was. Stiles was starting to shake like a leaf so he calmly scooted their abandon plates over to the other side of the table and got up, not letting go of his hand. Calmly he pulled Stiles up out of his chair and Stiles followed him on autopilot to the couch. Derek sat down and carefully pulled Stiles into his lap, arranging him with delicate hands as if he were about to break. Maybe he was.

“I’m next.” Stiles whispered and Derek’s arms wrapped tightly around his torso.

“No you’re not. I won’t let anything happen to you. Neither will Scott, Isaac, or your dad. This sick, twisted thing isn’t coming anywhere _near_ you.” He growled angrily and possessively.

“It’s already killed four times and no one has even gotten a glimpse of it. I’m going to die Derek.” Stiles said this so coldly and matter of factly that it made Derek growl. “I’m going to die.”

 


	18. Chapter 18

Derek didn’t let Stiles go throughout the twenty minutes it took his father to get home. Stiles seemed to retreat into a cold shell of acceptance that made Derek want to wrap around and growl at anything that came close, protect him. He heard the cruiser pull up and stood up, carrying Stiles in his arms like a baby and was slightly surprised at the lack of struggle and the simple acceptance. Quickly he unlocked the chain lock and went back to sitting on the couch with Stiles curled up in his lap. The Sherriff came bursting through the door and Derek’s arms tightened even tighter despite knowing that it was irrational with the boy’s father.

“Stiles!” Papa Stilinski came charging into the house after locking the door behind him. “Derek!”

“In the living room.” Derek called and Papa Stilinski came running around the corner to halt at the sight provided.

“Is he ok? Stiles!”

Stiles looked at his father with sad eyes and gave him a small smile. “Hi dad. I’m glad you’re ok.”

Papa Stilinski’s frown grew and he glared at Derek. “What’s wrong with him?”

“He’s convinced he’s going to die. I think he’s just in shock.”

The Sherriff recoiled as if slapped before leaning down in front of Stiles. “Stiles, if you think for even one second that I will _ever_ let _anything_ happen to you then you are so damn wrong! You get your damn ass in gear right now!” he yelled at him. Stiles startled and stared at his dad in surprise. “Something is out there killing people and you’re in here feeling sorry for yourself. I understand that the things that have been happening are difficult to deal with but I know you Stiles! This isn’t you! All this moping and depression is _not_ you. I don’t know what you’re going through Stiles but you’d better start doing something about it because I am sick and tired of watching you do this to yourself.”

Papa Stilinski’s voice cracked on the last sentence and Stiles felt pain shoot through him, his eyes going wide in disbelief. Quickly he shot out of Derek’s arms and into his father’s, wrapping his thin arms around his neck.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry dad! I just…I’m…” Stiles choked off on a sob and Papa Stilinski’s arms wrapped around him and practically drowned him in a fierce bear hug.

“You’re an idiot son but you’re the smartest damn idiot if I’ve ever known one. I don’t know all of what’s going on but I know that this isn’t how you’re supposed to deal with it. Just…wake up Stiles.”

“Ok…ok.” Stiles sobbed and his dad rubbed his back.

Derek sat on the couch and watched the two of them. He felt saddened that he couldn’t comfort Stiles like this but knew that there was nothing like the love of family. He watched as Stiles cried and hated the scent of sadness and salt that came with it but was glad that the underlying depression and pain was slowly slipping away. It didn’t leave completely but he could tell there was determination set in the lines of his back when he finally straightened from his father’s hold. There were still tears running down his face when he turned to Derek but there was also an anger there that completely replaced the cold acceptance of death that should never be there in the first place.

“I’m the next one so it should come for me. When it does, Derek, you’re going to tear it to shreds.”

Derek growled, his teeth pressing against his lips as the sharpened. “Of course I am. I’ll let Scott and Isaac know what’s happened and have them patrolling outside at all times. They won’t leave you alone for a second when at school.”

Stiles nodded quickly and turned back to his dad. “I don’t want you getting hurt dad. Whatever this thing is, I don’t know what kind of creature it is, but I don’t want you anywhere near it.”

“You think I want it anywhere near you?!” his dad asked incredulously. “There isn’t a chance in Hell that I’m staying out of this. If I have a chance to shoot this son of a bitch I’m going to take it.”

Stiles gave him a rueful smile but simply nodded. “I guess that’s only fair. Just…please don’t go rushing after it. I don’t want you in danger.”

“And I don’t want you in danger and yet here you are. How do you manage that? You’re always in the thick of these things.”

Stiles shrugged. “I guess they’re just attracted to my winning personality.”

Papa Stilinski gave a snort and shook his head before patting his son on the shoulder. “Whatever you say son.” He quickly got back to his feet from where they were kneeling beside the couch. “I’m exhausted and there’s a game on tonight. You want to join me?”

Stiles nodded. “Sure.”

Papa Stilinski looked at Derek. “Derek?”

Derek nodded. “Sounds good. I’m not leaving any time soon.”

“Good. First, some grub. I’m hungry. I skipped dinner to investigate the crime scene then rushed here directly after. I’m sure the others understand.”

“Derek made sandwiches. I’m sure if you ask nicely he’ll share his with you.” Stiles said as he followed his father into the kitchen.

“I can get my own dinner son.”

Derek followed them into the kitchen too and picked up his abandon food and started munching on it again now that the fear and sadness and tension had finally died down. Stiles also sat back down at the table but simply picked at his sandwich, creating a mess of crumbs.

“Stiles, at least eat the rest of your sandwich without creating any more of a mess.” His dad scolded him and he couldn’t help but smile at the reprimand. It’d been a while since he’d gotten that one.

Derek quickly finished his food as Stiles began eating his again and pulled out his phone. “I’m going to call the others. I’ll have Scott contact Allison and Lydia to let them know as well. We need all the help we can get.” He said and quickly left the two Stilinski men to their own company.

“He seems kind of different.” Papa Stilinski said as soon as he thought that Derek was out of earshot.

“How so?” Stiles asked around a bite.

“He seems more caring, softer somehow. The way he was holding you was very protective.”

“Ah, yeah, that.” Stiles picked at his bread again and avoided the suspicious look his father was undoubtedly giving him. “Well, the thing is…I might…sort of _like_ Derek. Maybe just a little.” He mumbled.

His dad was silent for a bit before the popping of toast broke the silence. “Well, I can’t say that I’m surprised really. Just kind of shocked. You’ve been spending a lot of time around him and he’s quite attached to you now.”

“Uh…yeah.” Stiles said awkwardly.

His dad quickly made his turkey and cheese sandwich before sitting down across from Stiles. “So, does he feel the same way about you?”

Stiles shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe? He’s not very good with the whole feelings thing.”

His dad nodded and took a big bite, thinking over what was being said and what wasn’t being said. “Well, let me tell you, I support you no matter what you choose but just…” Papa Stilinski sighed as if he couldn’t believe he was having this conversation. “…just be safe ok?”

“Ah! Dad!” Stiles’ face flushed bright red and he waved his hand in front of him to get his dad to stop. “I do _not_ need the safe sex talk, trust me! Besides, werewolves can’t catch diseases so there’s nothing to worry about! We’re both male so there’s no chance of pregnancy either.” Stiles sputtered for a bit. “I don’t even know if he likes me so there may not even be a reason to be having this increasingly embarrassing conversation.”

“He’d be a fool not to but knowing that boy…” his dad shook his head. “Just give him time son, he’s been through a lot.”

Stiles nodded solemnly and took the last few bites of his sandwich, mulling it over. Derek came in a few minutes later looking as broody as ever.

“Ok, Scott is on his way to Lydia’s and Isaac to Allison’s. I’ve filled them in and they’re all on the look-out for this thing. I’m staying here.”

Stiles and his dad both nodded in understanding. The night went smoothly after that, Stiles was finally able to relax some though not all the way because the thing was still out there waiting to kill him. The game was boring but it was nice spending time with Derek and his dad. Mid-way through the game he sighed and leaned against Derek who was next to him, basking in the normalcy that he hasn’t felt in ages. When the game finally ended around midnight his dad said goodnight to the both of them and headed upstairs to bed.

“We should head to bed too. You have school in the morning.”

Stiles huffed and grumbled in annoyance at the tediousness of school at such an important time but followed Derek up the stairs as soon as he shut off all the lights and television and Derek had made sure that every window and door had been locked up properly. Once in the room Stiles quickly stripped to just his boxers and climbed under the sheets. The bed dipped behind him as Derek climbed in too and felt goosebumps rise on his skin as Derek’s warmth engulfed his back.

“Scott and Isaac will be with you tomorrow and so will Allison and Lydia. I’m sure Chris Argent knows what’s going on as well so we’ll have an extra eye out.”

“You think Deaton should be warned too if he doesn’t already know?” Stiles asked.

There was a shrugging motion against his back. “I don’t know. He works with Scott so he should know if he hasn’t already heard of the deaths through the news. It’s even more likely he knows more than us since it seems to be supernatural. I don’t know any human that could simply vanish like that or smell like that or inflict that kind of damage.”

“You’re probably right. I just don’t want to go to school tomorrow.” Stiles grumbled and sighed yet again.

“You should sleep now. You have to get up in about six hours.”

They settled in and even though Stiles didn’t sleep he felt a bit better than he had in the previous weeks. Derek made him feel safe and took away some of his loneliness. Feeling his deep breaths against his back calmed Stiles and when morning came he didn’t even feel that tired. He hadn’t slept so of course there was weariness but it wasn’t like it’d been before.

His alarm woke Derek up before he shut it off and climbed out of bed. The skies were still pretty dark and were only just starting to lighten on the edge of the horizon. Derek let out a long yawn as he pulled on some pants and a long sleeve button up over a graphic tee. His bag hadn’t been moved since Friday so it was already packed with his stuff for the day.

“Did you sleep at all?” Derek’s sleep graveled voice asked him from where he sat on the bed.

“Would you believe me if I said yes and told you not to worry about it?”

“No I wouldn’t. You smell tired.”

Stiles looked at him with one eyebrow raised. “I shouldn’t even be surprised that you can smell that. What else can you smell?”

Derek ran a hand through his sleep mussed hair and frowned. “I can smell that you haven’t showered since Friday at least. You should do that tonight. You’re hygiene is important.”

Stiles snorted. “Yeah, says the guy who lived in an abandon warehouse.”

“I still took regular showers and did my laundry.”

“Where? I don’t think that place had a broom let alone an actual shower or washing machine.”

Derek gave him a withering look that didn’t affect him in the slightest. “I went to the Laundromat and used the showers at your school. I’ve also used your shower and Scott’s a couple of times when the school had their locks replaced before I could make a copy.”

Stiles just smirked and shook his head. “I should be very worried that you break into schools for a living.”

“I don’t anymore.”

“Good. Do you still have that key though?” Stiles asked as he slung his bag over his shoulder and slipped his feet into his shoes.

“No you may not have it.”

Stiles smiled and shrugged. “Worth a shot. You coming with me on the way to school or am I going alone? If you’re coming you need to get dressed ‘cause I have to go in about five minutes.”

Derek hopped up off the bed and reached for his jeans and t-shirt he’d pulled off the night before and tugged them back on. Stiles gave a huff of laughter making Derek raise an eyebrow in question.

“You haven’t done your laundry and have been wearing those clothes for at least three days and you’re criticizing _my_ hygiene. Hypocrisy dude.” He said and patted Derek’s shoulder on the way out of his room.

“I haven’t been able to stop by the loft. I’ve been too busy protecting you from whatever psychopathic monster is out there. Again.”

Stiles felt a bubble of hurt in his chest but just shook his head and stomped down the stairs to see his dad already in the kitchen with a cup of coffee in one hand and toast in the other.

“Hey dad, I’m off to school. Derek’s going with me and I’ll meet Scott there. Also, if Derek’s going to be staying here for a while then he’ll need to use our facilities as well.”

“Right, right. Whatever you need Derek. Use whatever you want, eat whatever you want. Just make sure you replace the food or money for food since money doesn’t exactly grow on trees.”

“Yes sir.”

Papa Stilinski gave a small smile and patted him on the shoulder as he downed the rest of his coffee and grabbed his jacket, stuffing the rest of his toast into his mouth.

“I gotta get goin’ kiddo. I want you to call me as soon as you’re home. Come straight home from school, no stops at all. I’ll know.”

“Yes sir daddy-o.” Stiles said with a mock salute. “Be careful.”

“I will. You be careful too. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

Papa Stilinski dropped a kiss on the top of Stiles’ head before leaving for work. Stiles grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and prepared a simple ham sandwich for his lunch before leaving the house Derek in tow.

The ride to school was quiet without any conversation to fill the silence. The Jeep’s radio had long since broken and with how frequent his poor baby got beat up he just left the radio broken. It’d be too expensive to pay for the repairs every single time it was damaged and he never really used it anyways. Before his depression had hit he’d probably have been extremely uncomfortable with this level of silence but now he didn’t mind it so much since he didn’t have to keep up appearances or say anything that accidentally gave away what he was really feeling.

Once he pulled into a lot at school Derek had hopped out and Scott had opened his door flanked by Isaac. Stiles turned off the Jeep and pulled his bag out after him, noticing that Derek had already vanished. He quickly made sure all the windows were rolled up and locked before slamming the door and locking it, putting the keys into his pocket.

“Hey man, how was the weekend with Derek? Long and broody?” Scott asked as he walked on his left towards the school.

“Yeah, sorry we had to leave you alone with him for so long.” Isaac said from his right.

“Nah it was fine guys. He even joined by dad and I for breakfast Sunday morning.”

“Wow. Your dad didn’t mind?” Scott asked.

“Of course not. Why would he?”

“’Cause it’s kind of a family thing.”

“You’ve been invited plenty of times.” Stiles pointed out as they reached the front entrance.

Isaac pulled the door open for them as Scott said, “Well, yeah, but I’m pretty much like his second son.”

Stiles smiled as he recalled always wishing that Scott were really his brother. He didn’t really wish for that anymore since it would disappoint him so much more if his own brother couldn’t pick up on what was going on with him.

The day went slowly and uneventfully. Stiles was always slightly on edge but his worrying was all for naught. There were no killings or sudden appearances of crazed killers bursting into his classrooms like he was kind of expecting. It was just another ordinary day at school. After school had ended Isaac was there leaning against his Jeep and the ride home was just like the ride to school, silent but not uncomfortable.

Once they were home Stiles called his dad to let him know they’d made it back safe before starting on his homework. His dad came home late in the evening and they had dinner together before Isaac had to go home. Derek showed up before Isaac left. Stiles almost laughed when he saw the duffle bag in his hand and a plastic bag full of food in the other.

“This is to replace what I’ve eaten.” Derek said and passed off the food to Stiles before heading up to Stiles’ room.

Stiles pulled out several packages of bacon and couldn’t help but chuckle. That was a not so subtle indication that Derek really liked bacon and that they’d be having that more often. He’d have to make sure that his dad only ate the turkey bacon he’d bought for him. There were also a few packages of ground beef and some rice. He put those away before heading up to his room as well.

Derek had piles of clothes on his bed as well as a pile of toiletries that he’d pulled from his duffle bag. There were three pairs of jeans, four t-shirts, his leather jacket, several pairs of socks and underwear. The toiletries were simple consisting of a toothbrush, toothpaste, a razor, deodorant, and a small bottle of shampoo plus conditioner two in one.

“Should I have brought my laundry detergent?”

Stiles shook his head. “Nah, it’s cool man. We got that covered. By the way, all the bacon? Not so subtle.” He chuckled.

Derek shrugged as he folded up his last pair of pants. “Figured if I was going to be staying here for a while I might as well eat the food I want to eat. Where should I put all my stuff?”

“I’ll empty a drawer for your clothes and you can put the bathroom stuff into the bathroom. I don’t care where they go.”

Derek nodded and headed off as Stiles opened the bottom drawer of his dresser and started moving what little stuff was in there to other drawers. Once it was empty he just left it open since he didn’t know if Derek was against someone else touching his stuff. Derek came back a moment later and started putting his clothes into the drawer.

“Thanks. Now at least I don’t have to run back and forth between my loft and here. I can stay here the entire time to make sure you stay safe.”

“Scott and Isaac have their days as well so you can go do whatever it is you normally do.”

“I just work out and read usually. I haven’t had a job in a while.”

Stiles flopped onto his bed and stared up at the ceiling. “I can imagine you being a carpenter or maybe a construction worker. Something really manly that puts all those overdeveloped muscles to good use.”

Derek chuckled and Stiles turned his head to look at him and see the smile still on his face.

“I was a librarian a couple of years ago and that was probably the most enjoyable job I had. I also worked as a bartender and as security for a club back in New York. I didn’t like those as much. They never lasted long though. People are really nosy.”

Stiles flipped over onto his stomach and crossed his ankles in the air. “What was it like over there? I’ve been once on vacation but it must be totally different for a werewolf. What did it smell like? Sound like? I remember it as noisy and smoggy and people were always in a rush and were really rude, pushing and shoving.”

Derek sat down on the bed in front of Stiles. “Yeah it was like that but I didn’t really mind it. I was there with Laura so I didn’t really care where I was.” Derek was quiet for a bit, his gaze far away, but Stiles didn’t say anything and simply waited for him to continue. After a couple minutes he did. “It was really beautiful in Central Park. The trees were always so green in the spring and summer time. In fall all the leaves would turn orange and red. Winter was freezing cold but being a werewolf that didn’t really bother me.”

Derek shifted back on the bed until he was leaning against the wall at the head of the bed. Stiles scooted up as well until he was resting his elbows on his pillow and staring up at Derek.

“Laura and I had rented this small apartment next to Central Park so that we could go there on the full moons and wolf out. We always had to be careful though, even in the middle of the night since there were always security guards and people around.”

“Why did you guys go to New York?”

“It was right after the fire so we were running away from the hunters.”

“Were you always on guard? Always looking over your shoulder?”

Derek nodded. “Yeah. It was tough. There were always so many people and we never knew who could be lurking in the crowd but that’s also what made it safe. With so many people it’d be hard to distinguish a werewolf from a human. We always got lost in the crowd.” Derek smiled then and looked down at his hands in his lap. “Laura always told me I was too uptight, that I should leave the worrying to her, the Alpha. My Alpha at the time.”

“She sounds like an awesome person.” Stiles said quietly.

Derek looked at him with sad eyes. “Yeah, she was.”

“Would I have gotten along with her?”

“Maybe. You probably would’ve annoyed her with your endless chatter and she’d have scolded you all the time for your reckless behavior but I’m sure she would’ve liked you. She would’ve liked how brave you were for a human.”

“Are you complimenting me or insulting me? I’m not so sure.” Stiles smiled.

Derek gave him a small grin. “Neither. I’m just stating it like it is.” He was silent again for a bit. “I’ve never told anyone about my family.”

“Well, now’s a good time to start. I like hearing about your family. They sound amazing.”

“Yeah, they were. Especially my mom. She would’ve definitely liked you…maybe.”

“Psh, ‘maybe.’ Everybody _loves_ me.” Stiles grumbled in mock hurt.

Derek looked at him with serious but gentle eyes. “I’ll tell you about my family if you tell me about your mom.”

Stiles startled at the mention of his mother before that sharp scent of sadness washed over him but he nodded anyways. “Yeah, that sounds fair. I guess we both have things we definitely need to talk about that we can’t with anyone else.”

Derek nodded and gently laid a hand on Stiles’ shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. “I’ll talk first if you’d like.”

Stiles gave him a small, sad smile. “That would be good. You’re already talking anyways. Which is a huge improvement to your broody silence I might add.”

Derek’s lips gave a small twitch but he fought the smile and just nodded. “Want me to continue with New York or my mother?”

“New York. I like hearing about it from your perspective. What was it like when you first got there?”

“I was really overwhelmed and sad. The fire had just happened and Laura was still struggling with becoming the new Alpha. She hadn’t meant to inherit the position so young so it took her a lot to control it just like it did me after I got it from Peter. New York is so different from Beacon Hills. It’s so much noisier but it’s also calmer in a way. Here there’s always some supernatural shit to clean up but in New York there was always too much going on for there to be much of a supernatural problem. Sure there were some mishaps between werewolf packs or a rabbit would mutate in the sewers or some idiot would discover his hidden powers and decide to use them wrong.”

“Wow, that actually happened? A mutated rabbit? Does magic exist too then?”

“I’m sure it does. But yes, a mutated rabbit. There’s been this ‘alligators in the sewers’ rumor in New York for years but it’d actually been this crazed mutated rabbit that’d been eating people who ventured too far into its territory. That had _not_ been a pleasant experience. Laura and I had stunk of sewage for days no matter how much showering we did.”

“That sounds awesome. Wish I’d been there to see it. Was it big? Did it have claws and fangs? Oh! What about a really long reptile tail?! That would’ve been awesome.”

“No it didn’t have a long reptile tail. It had a huge mouth and huge paws and feet and it was about four feet tall but it was strong. It threw me around a couple of times before Laura managed to take its head off. The blood in that thing was way worse than any sewage I’d been through. It only got on her though. I managed to stay clear of the spray.”

Stiles laughed then, imagining it in his head and thinking about the absurdity of it. “I bet she wasn’t too happy about that.”

“Oh no. She trudged back to our apartment and sat in the shower for a full hour scrubbing, even when the water went cold.”

“I would’ve too.”

“No, you wouldn’t understand the intensity of the stench until you’ve smelt it with a werewolf nose. It was absolutely putrid.” Derek laughed and Stiles smiled at the expression. He wanted to see that on Derek more often.

“What about the hidden powers guy? What was his deal?”

“Just some twenty year old who’d been messing around with runes and herbs and different ‘magic’ items until he finally found a certain type of stone that reacted with his powers or whatever.”

“What were his powers? Was he, like, a bad guy or something?”

“He wasn’t at first. He was just curious about what he could do. We found him pretty early on when he caught wind of unusual things happening in an apartment complex not too far from ours. Small things like objects levitating or the lights flickering. We thought it was just a stupid superstitious old biddy talking but then there were multiple witnesses who said that a fire had broken out with no starter on the stairwell. No one was hurt but we knew immediately there was something else going on.”

“So you and Laura did your badass werewolf thing and sniffed him out? Did he put up a fight?”

Derek shook his head. “No, he denied everything at first until Laura shifted and then he was incredibly forthright. He was very interested to find out that werewolves actually existed and promised to away from unwanted attention.”

“But he wanted the attention didn’t he?”

Derek nodded. “Yeah. He wasn’t satisfied with how his life was at the moment and wanted more. He got too greedy and robbed a bank. It was a small one but it injured quite a few people. We warned him again but he told us to fuck off.”

“Geez, rude much?”

Derek rolled his eyes. “As if you haven’t told me that.”

“Of course I have, because I know you. I get to.”

Derek barely suppressed his second eye roll. “Anyway, we had to subtly remove him from his place in New York.”

Stiles rested his chin on his hand and held up the index finger on his other. “Does that mean that you guys killed him and buried him in Central Park?”

“No, that means we threatened him with death and made sure he boarded the next plane to a very small town in Connecticut.”

“So he’s still alive.”

“Sadly.”

Stiles yawned long and hard, burying his face into his pillow so he wasn’t breathing all over Derek before looking back up at him with teary eyes.

“You didn’t sleep last night. You should try and get some tonight.”

“I’d totally get some.” Stiles said with a lilt obviously implying something that did _not_ mean sleep.

Derek gave him a short condescending look before stripping off his shirt. “Not what I meant Stiles.”

“I know but I could sure go for some.” He said as he eyed Derek’s chest.

Derek raised an eyebrow before shucking his jeans and climbing under the covers. “Not happening Stiles. Hurry up and get changed and turn out the light.”

Stiles pouted but got up and shucked his clothes except for his boxers and shut out his light like he was told. He climbed in next to Derek still pouting.

“But I haven’t so much as jerked off in, like, two weeks.”

“Not my problem. Go to sleep Stiles.”

“Stingy.” He pouted but snuggled into his pillow and sighed. “Thanks for sharing. I like hearing about your stories. They’re really cool.”

Derek made a small noise of agreement and shifted so that he was on his side facing Stiles. Stiles stared at him for a bit before closing his eyes and shuffling forward until his legs were pressed against Derek’s and his head was snug beneath his chin, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

“Night.”

“Good night Stiles.”

 

 

 


	19. Chapter 19

The week passed by slowly. Nothing new or exciting happened at school or at home. There was no news about the killer or any more deaths and his dad was in a bit of a huff about it. In the evening before they went to sleep Derek and Stiles would swap stories. Stiles would tell Derek little bits about his mom, how she’d been the center of his world and Derek would tell him about his family in return.

By the time that Saturday finally rolled around there’d still been no movement by the killer and Stiles had been growing more agitated. There was the constant worry that any minute he could be jumped by this psycho supernatural killer. Scott was supposed to be the one on Stiles watch-duty but he’d called and said his mom needed his help with helping her friend from the hospital move so it was Derek watching him again today.

“You’re here all the time. Aren’t you sick of me by now?” Stiles asked as they strolled into the kitchen to start up some breakfast.

“If it’d been the old you who couldn’t stop talking for two minutes I would have said yes. But I actually miss having you talk twenty-four seven so no, I’m not sick of you.”

“You actually _miss_ my talking? What has this world come to?” Stiles muttered as he pulled a package of bacon out of the fridge, that’d been put in there the night before to defrost, along with a package of sausage and the eggs. “You want pancakes too?”

“Nah. I’ll stick with toast.”

“The good ol’ classic American breakfast, got it.”

“Want me to help?” Derek offered but Stiles just shook his head.

“I got this. You go do whatever you usually do in the mornings.”

Getting out two pans Stiles started up the burners and sliced open the packages of cold meat and began lining the bottom of the bigger pan with bacon. He cracked two eggs into the smaller pan while the bacon popped and hissed.

“Sunny side up or scrambled?” he called out to Derek who was currently doing push-ups in the hall.

“Sunny side up.”

“Gotcha.”

The eggs bubbled for a bit longer before Stiles scooped them onto a plate with his spatula. The bacon was flipped before it turned crispy then he put them onto a paper towel covered plate to de-grease. Bacon scented air floated around him and made his stomach growl, reminding him that he hadn’t eaten dinner last night and he better feed it. Quickly he cooked the rest of the bacon before starting in on the sausages that cooked in the grease left over from the bacon, making it tastier. He cooked one scrambled egg for himself before shutting off both burners and piling Derek’s plate high with bacon and sausage, leaving about four pieces of bacon and two sausages for himself. He popped the toast into the toaster last since it would’ve gone cold if he’d done it first and placed the warm, brown pieces next to the eggs on Derek’s plate.

“Do you want ketchup or syrup or hot sauce for your food?”

“Those are all three appalling options. I’ll take some salt and pepper for my eggs.” Derek said as he came into the kitchen all sweaty from working out for the twenty minutes it took for the food to cook.

“They are absolutely delicious depending on the mood you’re in.” Stiles objected while getting out the salt and pepper and placing it on the table before bringing the plates over.

Derek sat across from him in his dad’s usual spot while he sat in his. He ate quickly since his stomach was kind enough to accept it without complaint. By the time he’d finished his eggs Derek only had three pieces of bacon and one sausage left on his plate. Those were gone too when Stiles finished his sausage.

“Want more? I can make plenty more.”

“It’s ok, I don’t need more. It was really good though, thanks.” Derek said as he got up to wash his plate.

Stiles had told him time and again that he’d do the dishes but Derek always insisted on doing them since he was a ‘free-loader’ at his house. Stiles had proceeded to tell him that he was there for the inconvenient job of baby-sitting him so he couldn’t call it free-loading. Still he’d objected vehemently until Stiles gave up and just let him do the dishes. They’d fallen into a nice pattern where Stiles would make the food and Derek would clean up.

They were lounging around on the couch in the late afternoon watching a really bad eighties sci-fi movie when Derek’s cell phone rang from his pocket. He whipped it out and pressed it to his ear.

“Isaac, what’s wrong?”

Stiles stared at him as his eyebrows danced with expression. Whatever Isaac was telling his eyebrows shoot up in surprise before it made him growl and frown.

“I’ll be there in ten minutes, twenty tops. Don’t move.” He said and ended the call before dialing another number. “Scott, Isaac caught the thing’s scent on the other side of town. I need you to get here now.” He growled into the receiver before ending the call without waiting for Scott’s answer.

“How far away is Isaac?” Stiles asked as Derek got up off the couch and headed towards the stairs.

“He said he caught the scent in the back alley way of Bernard Street next to the bakery and it was fresh, not ten minutes old. I’m going to help him track it down since I don’t want him going after it alone.”

“Then you should hurry and go!” Stiles said as Derek slipped into his leather jacket and shoes.

“I have to wait until Scott gets here.”

“No you are _not_ waiting until Scott gets here. He’s only like ten minutes away and you could be with Isaac sooner rather than later when the thing could’ve already attacked him. I’ll be fine. Hurry up and go!” Stiles ushered, waving his arms at Derek in a shooing motion.

Derek seemed torn but finally huffed and nodded. “Ok. Keep all the doors and windows locked after I leave. Don’t go near the windows and call your dad to tell him what’s going on.”

Stiles’ heart was thudding in his chest, beating against his ribs. “Ok, I will. Just hurry up and get to Isaac. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me and catch this thing. It killed a sixteen year old girl Derek, it has to be caught.”

“Ok.”

They rushed downstairs and Derek was out the door before Stiles had time to say goodbye. Quickly he locked and bolted the door and drew all the blinds shut over the windows downstairs and upstairs. Stiles clutched his fully charged phone to his chest as he locked himself in his bathroom. He dialed his dad’s number and waited in sick anticipation while it rang three times before his dad finally picked up.

“Hey Stiles, what’s wrong?”

“Dad, Derek just got a call from Isaac saying he caught the thing’s scent in the alley off Bernard Street. He called Scott and he’s on his way over but he had to leave me alone.”

“Ok, calm down son, everything’s going to be alright. Keep yourself hidden and I’ll be home soon. I’ll send a few deputies over to Bernard Street.”

“Ok, hurry dad. I might be just the teensy bit freaking out.”

“It’ll be fine Stiles, just breathe. Derek’s going to be fine, Isaac’s going to be fine, and you’re going to be fine. Take deep breaths and count to one hundred and back. I’ll be there before you finish counting down.”

“Alright. I love you dad.”

“I love you too son.”

They hung up and Stiles starting doing what his dad told him to. Starting from one he started counting to one hundred. The methodical rhythm started calming his pounding heart by the time he got to thirty. When he got to eighty-three the phone in his hand started vibrating and Katy Perry’s Dark Horse started playing loudly.

“Isaac? What’s going on?”

Panting filtered through the phone filling Stiles with dread before Isaac started gasping quietly into the phone. “Stiles, I need your help. The thing was on its way to your house and we caught it in the woods. You have to come help us. Derek’s really badly wounded and I can’t see it. Stiles hurry!”

The line went dead and Stiles sat there frozen for a full three seconds before bursting out of the bathroom. He ran to his room and tugged on his shoes and grabbed his baseball bat and keys before running downstairs and out of the house without a second thought. Once he was in his Jeep he floored it towards the woods that were closest to his house. He sped all the way to the tree line before jumping out and running into the shade of the trees, leaving his Jeep running.

“Derek! Isaac!” he yelled and pulled his phone from his pocket and hit Isaac’s speed dial.

The phone rang and rang but no one was answering. Fearing the worst he ran faster, keeping the phone plastered to his ear and dialing Isaac’s number over and over before trying Derek’s. There was a click on the other line.

“Stiles? What’s wrong?! Why are you out of breath?! Stiles!”

Stiles stumbled to a stop as he listened to Derek’s voice. “Derek! Are you alright?! Isaac said you were really badly wounded!” he gasped.

“What?! Stiles, I haven’t been able to find him yet. I went by Bernard Street but there was nothing. There was no scent of the creature’s or Isaac’s.”

Stiles went stock still as he thought about what Derek just told him. “D-Derek. I don’t think that was Isaac.” He said, his voice quaking with fear and dread.

“Oh no. Stiles! Where are y…”

The phone was violently smacked from his hand and Stiles turned quickly to come face to face with…Isaac? No, it wasn’t Isaac.

“What are you?” he asked unsteadily, backing up quick from ‘Isaac’, holding up his bat.

“Stiles, it’s me Isaac.” the thing said sweetly using Isaac’s voice but that disgusting smile wasn’t Isaac’s.

“No, no you’re not. You are _not_ Isaac. Isaac could never make that face. What have you done with him?” Stiles gasped when his back hit a tree hard in his retreat and swung the bat.

The thing smiled sweetly and caught the bat, tearing it from his fingers before it held up Isaac’s phone. “Oh don’t worry, he’s just fine. He wasn’t my target. You are.” the thing finally dropped the pretense of being Isaac, throwing the bat far behind him, and stared at Stiles hard with a malicious grin. “You know, it was really hard getting to you. All those werewolves around you at all times. I watched you throughout school too. Whenever one of your classmates was sick I’d take their place. And you didn’t even notice. I even sat next to you twice.”

The thing was still wearing Isaac’s face but its voice was sickly sweet, using a tone that Isaac never could. Stiles quickly turned and bolted around the tree but the creature darted forward and wrapped a hand around his neck, its fingers impossibly long, Isaac certainly didn’t have fingers that long, and wrapped completely around his neck and squeezing.

“Why are you running away? I just want to play. Don’t you want to play with your buddy Isaac?” it asked and Stiles grappled at its grip, trying to create room to breathe.

Stiles kicked at it but it only squeezed harder and he would have made a pained sound if he could. The thing pulled him against its body and suddenly they were moving through the woods. Whatever this was it was fast and when they finally came to a stop he struggled hard, trying to get lose but again it tightened its hold, stopping the blood flow in his neck. Finally he stopped moving as he slowly choked. The thing seemed pleased by this and released him, chuckling as he crumpled to the ground, gasping violently on the ground.

“Why are you doing this?” Stiles asked in a hoarse voice when he could.

The thing tapped its finger against its chin and made a mock thinking face with Isaac’s features. It really started to sicken Stiles that this thing was using Isaac’s looks.

“’Why’? Does there have to be a why? What if I just say that I want to? I got bored and this has been so much fun so far. You have been the biggest challenge so far!”

It stepped forward and Stiles scrambled back and held out a hand. “Stay away from me!” he screamed at it.

The thing made a mock sad face and knelt in front of him. “Oh, you don’t want to play with your buddy Isaac after all? What about Derek then? Would you play with him?”

Stiles stared at it in horror and confusion as its face seemed to melt in front of his eyes. Isaac’s pretty face and blond hair melted away before it was quickly replaced with an all too familiar face, one that made his heart stutter in recognition. Green-hazel eyes stared at him and a wide smile stretched across a stubbled face.

“Oh yes, this one is definitely the one, huh?” it asked with Derek’s voice.

Stiles scrambled back even farther with a cry. “No! Stop it!”

“No way, not when we’re going to have so much fun!” it said cheerfully.

“No! You’re disgusting! Stealing other men and women’s face to trick people and rape them to death.” Stiles cried, tears leaking from his eyes in terror.

“That’s true, I have to steal other’s faces but I do prefer the male faces. I am male after all.” It said.

“I don’t care what you are. You’re a sick fuck that should go die.” Stiles cursed it as he shut his eyes so it felt less like he was talking to Derek.

“Oh, that’s not nice.” it… _he_ grabbed Stiles’ chin and forced his face towards him. “Look at me. _Look_ at your precious Derek as he takes you over and over in the dirt until you lose consciousness.”

“No.” Stiles whimpered.

“Either look or things will start to get very painful very fast.” He threatened in the growl Derek uses all too often.

“At least don’t use his eyes or voice. Please.” Stiles pleaded in a small, defeated voice.

“I might be able to do that.” He agreed. “But you have to make sure you keep your eyes on _me_.”

Stiles nodded carefully against the grip on his chin. When the thing spoke next he used a voice he was completely unfamiliar with.

“Open your eyes. _Look_ at me.” He hissed in a voice too high for Derek but still definitely male.

Stiles slowly, unwillingly opened his eyes and was met with an amber gaze. This bastard was using Stiles’ own eyes instead.

“You bastard.” He growled and glared at him.

“Aren’t I _just_?” he said with way too much glee.

Stiles moved, trying to push himself backwards away from this thing but was quickly stopped by a face in his and a heavy hand pushing him flat onto his back.

“Time to get down to business.” He said in a much too serious voice for the smile he had.

“No wait!” Stiles yelled and pushed against his solid chest stolen from Derek’s image. “At least…at least tell me what you’re called. I _can’t_ call you Derek knowing you’re not him.”

The thing set about undoing Stiles’ pants as he nodded. “Alright. Humans have called my kind a lot of different things but I guess the closest would be a _Popobawa_ meaning ‘bat-wing’ in Swahili. It’s accurate in the sense that my true form has bat-like wings but I am absolutely _not_ a one-eyed creature! That was only _one_ of my stupid ancestors and suddenly we _all_ look like that! It’s also true that I ‘sexually-assault’ people though I prefer that I sexually indulge them instead. They don’t even know that I’m not their lover that they’re humping. You’re one of very few who have ever figured out that I’m not who I look like.” He paused in pulling Stiles’ legs free of his underwear and stared down at him. “Tell me, how exactly did you figure out that I wasn’t that stupid young werewolf?”

Stiles had been staring up at him in horror as he lay powerless under his de-robing hands and was slightly startled by the question.

“Y-you called Derek earlier from across town. You couldn’t have been all the way out here so fast if you really were Isaac. You also smacked the phone out of my hand. You don’t talk the way he does. There are a lot of things. What’s your name?” he asked in way of stalling.

His face twisted in thought and Stiles had to look away from ‘Derek’s’ face.

“I guess I shouldn’t have flown here. Oh well! I have what I want. My name doesn’t matter. Call me what you want.”

“I need to know!” Stiles yelled.

He froze and glared at Stiles. “I was last called Nathan.” He said and stripped Stiles’ shirt from his torso.

Now Stiles lay naked on the wood’s rough floor, twigs, leaves, and rocks digging into his back but he could hardly focus on that as the thing spread his legs wide despite his struggling. Nathan leaned forward and buried his face in the hair above Stiles’ dick and inhaled.

“Oh, I picked a good one. You’re a virgin!” he said with glee. “Has anyone even touched you here before? Maybe you’re precious Derek?”

“No! Leave me alone!” Stiles yelled loudly, crying out and pushing and hitting at Nathan’s head.

A growl ripped through the forest and Nathan yanked himself upright, still holding Stiles’ legs up and open. Stiles looked around with bleary eyes but he could hardly see in the dark shadows of the trees as the sun began to set over the mountain side. Something smashed into Nathan who still held on to him and jerked him across the ground until he was finally let go and he quickly scrambled to his feet and pressed himself against a tree, trying to see what was going on.

There seemed to be two Derek’s. One had Stiles’ eyes and the other had glowing blue eyes. He immediately knew who was who. The real Derek held Nathan by the throat but Nathan had his claws in Derek’s side. Quickly he looked around, frantically searching until his gaze settled on his discarded bat about fifty feet away from him. He dived for it and scooped it up in his grip before running at the two of them. Nathan saw him coming and quickly shifted/melted until his face was exactly like Derek’s, glowing eyes and all except there was one defining feature that he couldn’t change.

Stiles lifted the bat above his head and brought it smashing down on Nathan’s head and he crumpled in Derek’s hands. Derek let him go and he flopped to the ground, blood seeping from beneath his hair. Stiles shook like a leaf as he stared at the perfect Derek look alike he’d just bashed to the ground. He cried out and dropped the bat, hands covering his mouth and backing away as his panic rolled through him.

“Stiles!” Derek called and darted to Stiles’ side. “Breathe Stiles, come on.” He said and went behind Stiles and wrapped his naked body in his arms. “Come on, breathe with me. In, out, in, out. Breathe in the nose, out the mouth. One, two, one, two, one, two.”

Stiles focused on Derek’s chest, the air rushing in and out of his lungs. It took several minutes until the constricting panic subsided enough for him to finally breathe.

“D-Derek.” He squeaked and suddenly he was turned around and pressed against Derek’s chest.

“Stiles. Oh my g…” Derek seemed to choke. “I couldn’t find you. You were just gone.”

“It…it, it was…it…” Stiles couldn’t get his words out.

“Stiles! Derek!” Scott’s voice called out and Stiles turned his face away from Derek’s chest to see his friend running up to them with red eyes. “What happened?! Did you get it?!”

Derek and Stiles both whipped around to look at the thing but he was gone, the only evidence that he’d been there was a pool of thick blood on the ground. Quickly Derek picked Stiles up and held him tightly to his chest as he growled at Scott.

“Derek?” Scott asked, confused.

“Are you really Scott?” Derek growled.

Scott looked scared and slightly offended at the question but Stiles already knew that it was actually Scott. “Derek, his clothes. The monster can’t switch his clothes. Those are Scott’s clothes.”

Derek was still growling and carefully moved towards Scott but kept his body between him and Stiles. His nostrils flared and that seemed to finally settle him because the growling stopped under Stiles’ ear.

“Sorry.” He said to Scott and straightened out but still held Stiles against himself.

“It’s cool man. Let’s talk back at Stiles’ house since I am absolutely positive I don’t need to see Stiles’ junk.”

“I need to track that thing down.” Derek rumbled lowly.

“It’s already gone, whatever it is, and it hardly has any scent so it’d be almost impossible to track it.”

“I still have to try.” Derek said and started to pull away from Stiles but he cried out and clung to him with all his shaking strength. “All right, all right, I won’t let you go. Come on, let’s get you back home. You need something for your back.”

Once it was brought to his attention Stiles noticed that his back was indeed hurting him a great deal. It was probably from when Nathan had dragged him across the ground when he’d been hit. Stiles nodded and Derek hoisted him up into his arms but he couldn’t find it in him to protest the treatment. Derek’s arms went around his butt and covered him since he was still completely exposed and Stiles leaned over his shoulder. There was no way he’d ever see those clothes again, not that he would.

“My bat.” He said gently and Scott quickly ran back and retrieved it but didn’t give it to Stiles who was clutching at Derek still.

They ran for a while and Stiles was surprised that they’d gone so far into the woods. It seemed like miles and miles until they finally broke the tree line. His Jeep was turned off and he briefly wondered if it’d died of if one of them had turned it off for him. His question was answered when they all climbed in, Scott driving and Derek in the passenger seat with Stiles sitting in his lap facing away from Scott. They were all silent until they got back to Stiles’ house. Papa Stilinski came running from the house as soon as the Jeep pulled up.

“Do you have him? What happened? Is he ok? Jeez, his back…”

“Inside.” Derek said briefly before moving with Stiles still in his arms towards the house.

Once inside Derek gave both the Sherriff and Scott another good sniff to make sure that it was them before carrying Stiles towards the stairs.

“I’m going to draw him a bath and take care of his back before anything else is discussed.” He said without stopping.

Stiles’ fingers were numb from clutching Derek’s jacket so tightly and it was difficult to make them unclench when Derek finally set him down on the cold toilet lid. As soon as Derek had straightened from setting him down Stiles gripped his shirt, absolutely refusing to let go of him. Derek stretched over to the door and locked it before reaching over to pull the shower curtains aside and plug the tub before starting the water. Derek knelt in front of Stiles again and stared into his dazed, scared eyes. Stiles stared back and was so glad that the familiar green-hazel stared back at him.

“He looked just like you.” He said quietly, barely above a whisper.

“I know, but it had your eyes. You have no idea how angry that made me.”

“I know what he is. It’s actually a he, he said so. He was a male of his species.” Stiles began and once he started he didn’t want to stop. “He said that he was a species called _Popobawa_ which means ‘bat-wing’ in Swahili. We’ll have to tell Allison and Lydia so they can look it up. I’ve never heard of it before. He could take any shape he wanted, he could look like anybody but he liked being male the best since he’s actually a male. His name is Nathan, well, that’s the last name he’d been called by.”

Finally Stiles fell silent with only the rush of water to fill the sudden quiet. Derek was staring at him hard, an intent look on his face as he absorbed all the new information. No other words were exchanged until the steaming water had almost filled the tub and Derek shut off the water and the few last drips were the last of the sounds.

The chaos in Stiles’ mind completely undermined the silence that rang in his ears. The scene in the woods kept replaying and replaying over and over in his head. Every time his eyes flicked up to Derek’s face he had to repress both a shudder of fear and a shiver of excitement. It was wrecking him again.

Derek watched Stiles as he shivered gently on the lid of the toilet seat but didn’t attempt to move or touch him. The water was still steaming hot since he’d accidentally turned the hot water up too high and was waiting for it to cool down. That was the only reason why he wasn’t urging Stiles’ shivering body into the water. Looking at him now he seemed terrified and confused and he didn’t want to do anything else to frighten him. That thing had worn his face to hurt Stiles and that made black fury bubble up within him but he kept it hidden behind a neutral face.

“He looked just like you.” Stiles whispered, catching Derek off guard and making him growl in anger before he tamped it down.

Stiles looked at Derek with sad eyes and carefully reached out a shaking hand to touch his fingertips to Derek’s stubbled jaw.

“He had your face and your body but I’m so glad he didn’t keep your eyes. I don’t want to be afraid of you.” Stiles’ voice cracked on the last syllable and Derek’s face drew up into a sad frown.

“I don’t want you to be afraid of me either. I don’t want you to be afraid ever again.” He growled.

Stiles allowed himself a small smile. “Well aren’t you such a sweetie. You sweet talking me because I’m in shock or because I’m naked?” he joked which surprised him almost as much as it did Derek.

Derek shook his head in amusement before putting his hand into the water to test the temperature. “The water’s cool enough now. I want to wash out the cuts on your back before I bandage them up.”

“’Kay.”

Stiles allowed himself to be helped into the tub, covering himself with a hand to preserve whatever little dignity he had left but knew it didn’t matter since Derek’s been up close and personal with his junk so it made little sense. It did make him feel a little better though, a little more in control of his nudity unlike before.

The water stung as it filled his cuts and he grimaced at the pain. This was completely different from cutting himself since he hadn’t done it himself for the purpose of overwriting the other pain inside of him. The water came up to his biceps and barely remained in the tub without spilling over when he sat down. It felt good to wash away the filth on his skin as if he were washing away the day.

“Hey Derek…” he said quietly

“Hmm?” Derek leaned on the edge of the tub next to Stiles.

Stiles stared down into the rippling water without actually seeing it. “Will you sleep with me?” he asked quietly.

Derek flinched at the question and stared at Stiles in confusion. “Uh, I’ll stay with you when you sleep, yeah.”

Stiles drew in a deep breath before steeling himself to look at Derek. “That’s not what I meant and you know it. I mean, will you have sex with me?”

Derek’s eyebrows furrowed as he stared at the unreadable expression in Stiles’ eyes. “Why are you asking me this? I thought we already went over this. It isn’t the right time for this. I want you to think it over completely so we aren’t just jumping into this in the heat of the moment.”

“I have been thinking it over and I think that what happened today just solidified my resolve. If I’m ever going to have sex I want it to be with you. When that thing attacked me today and got so close to taking what wasn’t his I regretted not having sex with you more than I’ve ever regretted anything. He’d relished in the fact that I was still a virgin and when he’d said that it was a good thing he looked like you I couldn’t help but agree.” Stiles looked away in shame.

Derek sat back on his knees as he took in what he’d just been told. It took him a few minutes in which Stiles didn’t say anything or move an inch but eventually he let out a long, unsteady breath.

“Alright.”

Stiles jolted in surprise before lifting his head to look at him with a cautious expression. “Are you saying yes because I want to or yes because you want to? ‘Cause I don’t want you to say yes just because I want to. I want you to want it too. No, I _need_ you to want it too.”

Derek sighed. “I really screw these things up. I want to Stiles, I just don’t want to force you into a dangerous relationship with me. If we have sex I will want you all the time. I’ll be possessive and territorial over you and I won’t want to let you out of my sight. I wouldn’t be able to hold myself back.”

Stiles finally relaxed and a real smile passed over his face. “Is that all? You hold yourself back enough. I don’t want you to do that with me. If anything it’s dangerous _without_ you. You’re a big bad wolf who can beat the snot out of practically anything and I’m just a wimpy human. And sex!” Stiles let out a laugh. “I’m a hormonal teenager with the refractory period of a rabbit in heat!” Derek’s mouth twitches into a half formed smile but it makes Stiles practically melt. “Yeah, I’m definitely ok with being in a relationship with you. Trust me, I’ll probably be a billion times more territorial and possessive of you since you’re pretty much the epitome of sex on legs. No one would want me but _everyone_ wants you.”

Derek raised an ever expressive eyebrow at him and Stiles finally let out a peel of laughter that made warmth blossom underneath Derek’s skin.

“Alright, we can give this a shot. But first I want you cleaned up, bandaged and healing before we do anything at all.”

Stiles pushed his bottom lip out in a mock pout but it quickly changed to a smile. “Ok. I think I can manage that. You’ll have to be patient with me since I’m a whiny, slow-healing human.”

Derek smirked. “I think I can handle that. Now turn around and let me wash the dirt and sticks out of your back.”

“Be gentle with me oh mighty werewolf. I’m but a dainty human.” Stiles snorted but turned around as instructed.

Derek rolled his eyes and poured water over the top cuts that weren’t submerged in the water drawing a hiss of pain from Stiles. Over the next half an hour Derek carefully wiped a soft cloth over Stiles’ cuts while said Stiles whined and complained about his injuries. Thankfully Derek had learned to ignore his sniveling over the years and was able to thorough cleanse his cuts. Washing his hair was a bit more difficult since he didn’t want the suds to get into the wounds since that would sting like a bitch but he managed by making Stiles lean forward and tip his head down to that the filthy suds ran forward instead of backwards.

Once Stiles was clean and warm and feeling better than he had in a while despite the fear still niggling in the back of his mind at the thought that Nathan was still out there, he stepped out of the bath and into the towel Derek held up after pulling the plug to let the water drain. He pressed his face into the soft, fluffy material and sighed into it before scrubbing his head and face dry. He managed to dry the entire front side of him but allowed Derek to take over drying his back and legs since bending down kind of hurt since it pulled at the skin on his back.

“Some of the cuts on your back are still bleeding slightly so I’ll take care of those first. Sit down on the toilet facing the wall so I can patch you up.”

“M’kay.” Stiles said with no argument and set the towel down on the toilet lid so it wasn’t cold under his warm butt.

The first-aid kit was easy enough to sniff out and Derek pulled it from its place beneath the sink and tugged it open. There were plenty of small Band-Aids but only a couple larger bandages.

“Do you have any more large Band-Aids? I need at least four but there’s only two.” He said, holding up the two large ones while rifling around the box.

“Uh…no, we don’t. You can just use gauze and surgical tape.” Stiles said with a low, guilty voice.

Derek looked over at Stiles, detecting the guilt in both the tone of his voice and the scent he was radiating. He was hunched into himself and pressing his fingers against the ridges his scars made on his wrist.

“Oh, uh, yeah, that’s fine. I can work with that.” Derek said awkwardly and pulling those out.

Neither of them mentioned what use the other bandages had been put to and simply continued on with the medical aid. Derek poured antiseptic alcohol onto a gauze pad and put a steadying hand onto Stiles’ shoulder to brace him and keep him from moving.

“This is going to hurt.”

Stiles tensed but nodded and clenched his fists. The first touch burned like acid and he squeezed his eyes shut against the pain. The next touches simply spread the fire across his back as Derek continued to clean and disinfect his cuts to get rid of everything the bath couldn’t. Eventually the light touches stopped and slowly the burning dulled into a throbbing ache and Stiles breathed a sigh of relief. After that the spread of Neosporin and sticking of bandage was a quick process. Derek was very careful with the placement of tape to avoid sticking it to another cut and when Stiles was finally able to stand up he turned to look at the monstrosity on his back.

“Wow, it looks like I barely survived a close call with a large blender or something.”

“You’d be so lucky.” Derek huffed and Stiles punched him lightly.

“Smart aleck. Leave funny to me.”

“I will when you start being funny.” Derek shot back.

Stiles gave him a bogus offended face. “Ah! I am totally offended. I am the funniest person you’ve ever encountered in your life!”

Derek patted his shoulder where he wasn’t injured. “You keep telling yourself that.”

Stiles stared at him, his mouth agape before he devolved into real, natural laughter. Derek smiled wide at the sound that he’d surprisingly missed. The other injuries on his elbows and one on his left hand were simple enough to take care of with smaller Band-Aids and soon he was completely taken care of.

A knock came from the other side of the door and Stiles managed to pull himself together enough to call out, “Yeah?!”

There was a soft cough from beyond the door before Papa Stilinski’s voice filtered through the wood. “You feelin’ better in there? I made some soup if you guys feel hungry.”

“That sounds great dad. Could you get me a pair of boxers and my pajamas?”

“Sure thing kid. I’ll be right back.”

Stiles leaned his butt against the sink with the towel tucked around him and stared at Derek who stared back while his dad fetched his clothes. It took less than a minute for there to be another knock on the door. Derek pulled the door open and blocked the entrance to retrieve the clothes from his father before shutting it again.

“Thanks dad! I’ll be down in a few!” he called before his dad left.

“Sure thing kiddo.” His dad said before Stiles heard his slippered feet shuffle away.

“He probably thinks we’re doing naughty things in here now.” Stiles said once his dad was out of ear shot, taking the clothes from Derek.

“That’s fine with me. We will be soon enough.”

Stiles couldn’t help the unflattering flush that lit his skin from his face all the way down his chest. “Hah, yeah, we will won’t we?” he said with a small, shy smile.

“We’ll take it as slow as you want.”

Stiles nodded and quickly slipped his feet into the red plaid boxers and pulled them up to cover himself. His pajama shirt was thankfully loose and long-sleeved so it didn’t irritate his bandages and hid his scars on his wrists. He’d really have to find some sort of wrist band that covered those. Quickly he slid his pajama pants on and gave a sigh of relief at being fully covered once again.

“Now, let’s go chow down! I’m starving!” Stiles announced before quickly darting forward and pressing a barely there kiss to Derek’s mouth before dashing out the door.

 


	20. Chapter 20

Stiles ran down the stairs, his face red, and into the kitchen where his dad had a steaming bowl of soup and a spoon in his hands.

“That smells amazing! What’s in it?”

“Meat, carrot, potato, onion and celery. Nothing you wouldn’t approve of.” Papa Stilinski answered as he put his bowl down and served up another one for his son.

Stiles took it gratefully and sniffed. It really did smell absolutely amazing. When he turned around he saw Derek coming down the stairs with slightly messier hair than before like he’d been running his fingers through it. He smirked a little before sitting at the table and blowing on a spoonful of soup and putting it to his mouth. It tasted as good as it smelled. The broth was slightly salty with a hint of spice and the natural flavors of the meat and vegetables. Derek sat down next to him with a steaming bowl of his own.

“This stuff is so good. Soup is pretty much the only thing my dad can cook but he does it really well.”

“That’s because your mother spent hours teaching me until I got it right five times in a row for each soup recipe.” Papa Stilinski muttered behind his soup bowl.

Stiles smiled in remembrance and nodded. “Yeah, I remember that. Your first attempts were really nasty. Really salty or watery and the meat was too tough or the vegetables were falling apart.”

His dad chuckled. “But I did get it right. Eventually.”

“Eventually.” Stiles parroted and laughed.

Memories of his mother always made him a little sad but it was good ones like this that made him smile. Both his father and he tended to avoid everything to do with his mother but sometimes it was good to remember her and the goodness she had put in their lives. Derek was silent next to him except for the occasional clack of his spoon in the bowl and he knew that he was also remembering his family. It’d become easier to talk and think about his mom since he and Derek had started sharing their memories. When he looked over at Derek he saw a small reminiscent smile on his face and gently rest his arm against Derek’s on the table.

The rest of dinner was continued in a comfortable silence except for the three refills of soup and several pieces of buttered toast that Derek consumed. Once the dishes were washed and set on the drying towel they all filed into the living room where his father put on a random hockey game as background noise.

“So where’s Scott?” Stiles asked as he finally noticed the absence of his friend. “Is Isaac ok too?”

“Scott’s outside patrolling the house. Isaac’s ok as well. He’d been knocked out while leaving his work and his cell phone and jacket had been stolen from him but that was all that was done to him.”

“How do you know?” Stiles asked.

“Because he found me when I was running to find you.”

“Oh. He wasn’t with you so I was wondering where he went.”

“I sent him to go get the Sherriff.”

“Oh, that makes sense. It didn’t really register that you were supposed to be at work dad.”

His dad nodded and nursed a cold beer that Stiles had glared at him for. He certainly didn’t remember putting that on the grocery list. Yet he couldn’t really begrudge him for it since it was certainly one of those days that needed a beer or two to calmly get through.

“Well, at least now we know what it is we’re dealing with. Though I don’t think that I can put in his description at the station.”

“Yeah, what would you say? ‘The psycho murderer who’s killing everyone you know could very well be you!’? I don’t think so.” Stiles shook his head.

“No, certainly not. Until this thing is caught I don’t want you leaving this house. I’ll call in to the school and explain the situation and they’ll have to excuse you.”

“You’re just going to tell them I’m currently the next target of a serial killer? I’ll never hear the end of it! Dad! I’m already an outcast, I don’t need this too.” Stiles groaned and put his head in his hands. “I can just hear it now. ‘Loser virgin of Beacon Hills High: Only way he’ll ever get laid is by a serial rapist-slash-murdering psycho.’”

“Stiles!” His dad yelled, “That is uncalled for and completely untrue.”

“Actually it is dad. High school students now a days are cruel, unfeeling people who’ll say anything to make themselves look better.” Stiles points out.

His dad looks like he wants to argue but instead simply shuts his mouth and turns his attention back to the television. Derek had been silent through the exchange but when Stiles chanced a glance at him his face was drawn into a dark scowl. He wasn’t sure if it was because of what he said or because one of the hockey teams on the television was losing so badly to the other. Stiles just let it go and relaxed into the couch, his arm resting gently on Derek’s.

A gentle nudge and the disappearance of the warmth against his side drew him out of the sleep he hadn’t realized he’d fallen into. Stiles opened his eyes slowly and groggily peered up at Derek who was looming over him, hands out as if he was about to pick him up.

“Wazzup?” he drawled lazily and wiped a hand across his tired face.

“It’s almost midnight. You’re dad went to bed about an hour ago but didn’t want to wake you since you barely get any sleep.” Derek explained.

Stiles sat up from where he’d been slouching and looked over to his dad’s empty spot and then over to the blank television. Had he really fallen asleep? He hadn’t been able to just fall asleep like that in months. After what had happened today he didn’t think he’d get an ounce of sleep but maybe this was his body telling him to knock it off and get back on track. That is something Stiles could definitely live with.

“Right. Sleep. Ok. You’re coming with me right?” Stiles asked.

Derek’s face scrunched up slightly and he went a little stiff. “Uhm, well, if you want me to, tonight is…well…” Derek trailed off awkwardly as Stiles stared at him oddly.

“Whaaa? What are you even talking about? Is sleeping in the same…oh.” Stiles paused as the light bulb finally flickered on in his mind. “Oh, uh, that isn’t what I meant. I really meant just sleeping tonight. We don’t have to do that tonight.” It was Stiles’ turn to say awkwardly. “We, uh, don’t have to anything at all if you…really don’t…want to.”

Derek held out a hand again and tugged Stiles up when he grabbed on. “Look, I just don’t want to give you something else to stress out about and deprive you of more sleep that you really need.” He said as he held on to Stiles and pulled him up the stairs, down the hall, and into his bedroom, closing the door after them.

Stiles didn’t say anything as he sat on his bed and pulled off his pajama shirt. He rumpled the fabric up in his hands as he thought about what Derek said before throwing the material across the room to land on his computer chair. Finally he blew out a breath and looked up at Derek who was just standing there awkwardly.

“I understand where you’re coming from and I agree that tonight I’m probably too tired to do anything but I really meant what I said before. I want you to be the one who…does it first…to me.” Stiles said clumsily, trying to get his words across by motioning widely with his arms between him and Derek. “Today was just…it really freaked me out when I thought that the first and only time I’d ever get to experience it was like that and…I was scared. I was so scared Derek. He looked exactly like you but he _wasn’t_ you.”

Derek was kneeling in front of Stiles before he could take another breath and stared into his eyes with a concerned look. Stiles stared back as he tried to get his heartbeat back under control. Thinking about the _Popobawa_ creature and how he’d reacted to him as Derek made him want to cry and scream and cower and get as far away from him as possible. It made him feel dirty and violated at the way that Derek’s image had _aroused_ him as he did those things to him.

“Tonight we’ll sleep, just sleep, but tomorrow, if you still want to, we can try. Just try. As soon as you want to stop we’ll stop.” Derek promised.

Stiles didn’t know whether to nod or shake his head so he just kept his head still. “This isn’t just about me. I _have_ to know that you want this too.”

“I already said I did. I want you, Stiles.”

“Want me to just be happy or want me as in keep me even after all this is over and call me your boyfriend and sex me up whenever you look at me kind of want me?”

Derek allowed the barest hint of a smile pull up the corner of his mouth. “I want to kiss you whenever I brush up against you or see you smile. I want to shove you against the nearest hard surface and take you apart with my mouth, then I want to take you to bed and make you forget everything but my name. I want to rim you until you cry and suck your brains out through your dick, then, once you’re completely relaxed and riding the high of your third orgasm, I want to push into you and shove myself so deep inside of you it’ll feel like I’ve branded you with my dick and I’ll never want to leave. I want you to smell like me for weeks and walk funny. You won’t be able to sit or even stand properly but you’ll want me to do it all again the next night.” Stiles was breathing hard by the time that Derek went quiet and stared intensely into his eyes as he said his last few words. “That’s what I want and I want it Every. Damn. Day.”

Stiles let out a whimper and leaned forward into Derek, letting his mouth press against Derek’s and his arms wrap around his neck, pulling him close to his chest. Derek went willingly and kissed back gently, keeping it chaste.

“No fair.” Stiles croaked against his lips and slid his fingers into the hair at the nape of Derek’s neck to tug on.

“Tomorrow.” Derek said back and pushed Stiles onto the bed as he kissed him until he was leaning over him.

“Too far away, I want it now.” Stiles insisted and tried to wrap his legs around his waist but Derek easily managed to slip away and lay beside him.

Derek pulled back from the kiss to grab the blankets and pull them over them before pressing one more kiss to Stiles’ warm kiss-swollen lips. “You’re tired. Go to sleep. I promise to be here when you wake up.”

Stiles pouted and let out a disgruntled groan but tucked his head into Derek’s chest and got comfortable. “Fine but you have to do every single one of those things from your oddly long, erotic speech tomorrow.”

“Maybe some of it. Go to sleep Stiles.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. G’night Derek.”

“Good night Stiles.”

Even with his dick half hard Stiles managed to fall asleep in almost record time cradled in Derek’s safe arms.

The nightmares that night was among the worst Stiles had ever had. It wasn’t the normal terrible black depths or even the more recent dreams of the Zduhać. These were rape and murder and pain and death. Every time Stiles would turn around another dead body would fall at his feet, blood raining from his hands and his bare feet bathing in the fresh, warm blood. From one nightmare to the next the bodies kept on falling and more often than not Stiles was the one being killed, his lifeless body falling at the feet of his heavy spirit still half attached to his corpse. The Popobawa would rape and tear at his dead body and Stiles could feel every sensation as if he was still in that body. He would try to scream only to discover he lacked vocal cords. Then his mouth could no longer work, stuffed full with thick blood and maggots.

Stiles woke screaming in the early hours of the morning. Cold sweat coated his body and soaked his pajamas and sheets. In a blind panic he automatically reached for Derek only to discover that side of his bed cold, as if he’d been gone for a long time. Darting off the bed he scrambled at his door until he managed to wrench it open and flew to the bathroom, heaving into the toilet bowl and ridding his stomach of all its meager contents. Shaking and short of breath he leaned his forehead on the cold porcelain, trying to get a grip but the panic kept on coming.

“Derek.” He gasped, reaching for the door but he didn’t have the ability to stand. “Derek. Derek, Derek, Derek.” He pleaded through the panic, trying to call him to him.

The panic was sealing off his airways, choking him. It hurt so bad and he needed it to stop _now_. Quickly he yanked open the cabinet underneath his sink and fumbled through all the cleaners and random until his hand knocked against a small case and his shaking fingers wrapped around it and pulled it out. He unzipped the case and pulled out the small blade wrapped in a paper towel.

“Derek. Please, Derek.” He whimpered before he let the cold metal bite into the soft skin on his wrist.

Almost immediately the hot, overwhelming panic parted to let the cold pain wash through him. Again the blade drew through his skin and again the panic continued to subside. Twice more had his breath evening out and on the fifth slide he felt normal sensations finally crawl back into his body, registering the pain and warm blood ghosting down his arm. Guilt washed over him, heavy and unpleasant as he carefully set the blade onto the edge of the sink above him and he sat there for a moment to contemplate what he just did.

He sat in silence, the house quietly creaking around him and he realized that his dad must’ve already gone to work since there was no furious pounding on the door. His dad could never have slept through the ruckus he’d made. The absence of Derek had worry crawling through him and maybe just a bit of regret and anger at trusting him not to leave him again before rationality brushed those aside. No, Derek wouldn’t have left him unless there was a very pressing need to.

A sudden burst of dread spread through him and he climbed to his feet and washed the metal and dried it thoroughly before he took care of his arm, bandaging it tightly. Once he was back in his room he slipped out of his pajamas and into several layers of clothes; boxers, shorts, jeans, and finally sweats over those. It was a little hard to walk but it was a needed precaution. He slipped on a long sleeve followed by a t-shirt and finally a plaid long sleeve over that. Good thing it wasn’t hot out otherwise he’d be melting.

From the house phone in the hallway he dialed his dad’s number but only got a dial tone. That didn’t bode well and set fear dancing through him. Next he contacted Scott but again there was only a dial tone. He couldn’t remember Derek’s number since it’d been programmed into his phone and he’d lost that and Isaac’s number had been in there too.

The baseball bat was still downstairs from yesterday when Scott had brought it in so when Stiles slid into his other pair of shoes and went downstairs he grabbed that and headed to his Jeep. Anxiety and fear were doing a tango in his chest and he had to fight panic again before he was able to shift the Jeep into drive and pull out onto the road.

“Ok, don’t panic. Go to the station to find dad first. He’s the top priority and he probably has Derek on speed dial by now.” Stiles reasoned with himself as he drove down the main street to the Beacon Hills Police Station.

The lot only had a few cars in it at this time of night but none of them were his father’s car. The heaviness in his chest grew. Swiftly he pulled into the parking lot and turned off his Jeep. The clarity and calm from the pain in his wrist was quickly wearing thin and he didn’t know how long he could hold back this panic growing in his chest again. He didn’t know if he could handle a second panic attack so soon.

The wind had picked up outside and when he climbed out of his Jeep a chill sent goosebumps skittering across his skin. The prickling sensation helped bring some clarity back to his scattered mind but did nothing to calm the unease in his chest.

Motion in his peripherals caught his attention and had him shuffling closer to his Jeep before he fully saw what it was. His dad’s profile lit up under the one of the street lamps beside the station and he took a couple steps toward him before his dad suddenly darted behind the building.

“Dad! Hold up!” he yelled and ran after him, trying to catch up with him.

Rounding the station he saw his dad’s form headed towards the woods, flashlight out and darting to and fro as he ran. Stiles felt his chest seize up in worry as he followed his father, wondering what in the world could be urgent enough to have his father running so fast and in that direction. Maybe they found another body.

The though made his blood run cold and his legs pump faster, trying to catch up with his dad.

“Dad! Wait! You’re running too fast!” Stiles yelled but his dad was so far ahead of him by now there was no way he’d hear him.

After several minutes of barely avoiding low branches and tripping over upturned roots all he could see of his father was the bouncing light, a pinpoint in his vision now. The air burned in his lungs as he ran almost blind through the woods. Several more minutes had that single point of light disappearing from his vision and terror seized his body. A solid root tripped his left foot and he crashed to the ground and stayed grounded as he tried to gain his breath back.

His arm ached underneath his bandages from where he’d hit it against more than one tree while running. Its presence brought back thoughts of Derek and he let out a half formed sob.

“Derek.” He whimpered and finally pushed himself back up.

The only way he knew was forward. He’d followed his dad through so many different twists and turns through the trees and bushes that there was no way he’d be able to find his way back in the dark. Hell, he’d probably be lost even in broad daylight as well. It was pitch black, not even the light of the moon making it past the hazy clouds floating through the sky, and Stiles continuously ran into trees, tripped over rocks and bushes, and added to his wounds as twigs and rocks put scrapes and cuts along his arms, shins, and hands. The need to sob was held in check only by the prospect of finding his father.

“Dad!” he yelled but only got a rustle of cold wind in response.

He yelled again and again got silence. His dad was long gone and he was alone in the woods at night with a psychotic rapist murderer targeting him out there somewhere.

A beam of light broke through the trees and Stiles’ eyes widened as he burst forward into a run, trying to reach that light because who else could it be but his father? Avoiding the shrubbery was easier with light to guide him and within five minutes of careful running he finally broke through a tree line and into a small clearing where the beam of light seemed to be coming from.

In the middle of the clearing, among the grass was the flashlight, pointed in his direction but laid on the ground. His dad was nowhere to be seen. Stiles stopped, panting, and quickly scanned the area. There was nothing but the dark woods and the sound of the wind in the trees as far as he could tell but then again he was only human.

“You’re so predictable.”

Stiles yelped and darted forward as a voice spoke right into his ear. He spun around on his heel and stared into…his father that wasn’t his father’s sneering face.

“You’re werewolf friends aren’t that much better either. Your Derek was the most difficult but even he was persuaded to leave your side by a well-placed call from your father’s cell phone.”

“Nathan.” Stiles choked out and retreated farther when the Popobawa stepped closer.

“I’m so glad you remembered my name! No one ever does…well, no one ever _lives_ to remember it usually.”

“Why are you doing this?”

Nathan made an exasperated expression using his father’s face and Stiles shuddered at the familiarity.

“Again! It’s always ‘why are you doing this?’ ‘who are you?’ ‘what do you want?’. I recall answering that question before.” Nathan threw his arms wide. “Who gives a shit? I do this because I want to, there’s no other reason!”

Suddenly Nathan was in his face, his father’s eyes reflecting the light of the flashlight behind Stiles. Stiles cried out and fell backwards in surprise and fear.

“Stop using people I know then! You have your own face! Use it!” Stiles yelled at him even though he knew it was a risky move.

Nathan seemed taken aback, surprised, before letting out a loud guffaw. When he looked back at Stiles the face he wore was hardly even his father’s with the malice and sharp evil twisting it.

“What? Don’t want to spend some time with daddy-o?” he cackled. “You’re a cheeky one. I like you. I like you a lot.” Nathan said before the face he wore melted and warped and seemed to drip down his body as he changed his form.

The form that took shape next was more grotesque than even the Zduhać from before. This was pure malevolent evil. Wings, black in the darkness, spread from behind a thin, long torso. The legs expanded and the cloth ripped from his body as giant legs replaced his father’s normal ones. His face was revolting as his wide mouth parted in a grotesque grin to reveal hundreds of sharp teeth and a wicked, pointed tongue darting to and fro. His eyes were wide but the color unknown in the colorless light of the night. His arms were longer than a human’s and only had four fingers on each hand. When Stiles looked down he saw he only had four toes on each foot as well.

“Well now you see me. You like this face better?”

Stiles simply stared at him, eyes wide with fear as he shook. He wasn’t even sure how to answer that question. He was glad that Nathan wasn’t wearing his father’s face any longer but this repulsive shape he took frightened him more than any face his father could ever pull.

Nathan rolled his shoulders and sighed through his mouth since he had no nose. “That feels much better. I’ve forgotten what it feels like to be in my own skin. It feels so free.” He said letting his eyes close for a second before snapping his gaze back to Stiles who had begun a shaky retreat in the grass.

“You’re not getting away this time. Your friends are off chasing ghosts on the other side of town.” Nathan leaned in close to Stiles, bending over him and inhaling through his mouth with his tongue out. “Oh yes, you’re still a virgin. Perfect.”

Humiliation swept through the fear and panic for a brief moment before they were once again washed away when Nathan leaned over him on all fours and put his tongue to his cheek, licking down the side of his face to his neck.

“Mm, virgins taste the absolute best. No impurities in their systems, their hormones at their highest, and their reactions are the best!” Nathan whispered against his neck as if he were telling him a dirty little secret.

Stiles shuddered and drew back as far as he could before a clawed hand gripped him tight on his forearm. Nathan stilled and looked down at where Stiles’ hand clutched at the grass.

“What’s this?” he asked and wrenched Stiles’ arm towards his face and ripped the fabric of his sleeves up to the elbow to reveal the bandages wrapped tightly around his wrist. “Aw, is someone depressed?” he asked with a mocking pout.

Anger flared through Stiles strong and bright. “No you asshole.” He said as he tried to yank his arm away. “Shit like this tends to happen when things become too overwhelming to handle in a normal way. Nightmares and pain and fear, all of which you are _so_ not helping right now!”

Nathan made a sound that was halfway between a threatening growl and a cat’s hiss of anger and Stiles snapped his mouth shut but continued to glare at him. There was a ripping sound and Stiles looked away from Nathan’s dark eyes to see that he had started ripping and clawing through the layers of clothes he’d put on.

*

“No! Stop it!” Stiles yelled even though he knew no such thing was going to happen.

Nathan continued to shred his clothes even as he struggled, kicking and punching as best he could but the grip Nathan had on him was impossible to break. His shirts fell away to reveal his skin to the cool night air and again goosebumps rose on his flesh. Nathan’s claws began tearing apart his layers of pants and now all the kicking did was give him more scratches and cuts where the claws missed his clothes and bit into his skin.

“Go ahead, struggle more. It turns me on.” Nathan growled above him, eyes gleaming with lust and anticipation.

Stiles thrust out his foot and with no aim managed to nail Nathan right where his dick stood proud between his legs. Nathan hissed and jerked Stiles’ arm to the side then around to flip him. A sickening pop resounded through the clearing and confusion flashed through Stiles’ mind before shocking pain burst throughout his body radiating from his shoulder. He screamed and thrashed but the jostling only made the pain worse since the arm was still held in an immobilizing grip. Finally he stopped and simply sobbed into the grass as Nathan finished removing all his clothing, shoes and all.

“Are you quite done? I’d like to get down to business now.”

“Fuck you.” Stiles managed to sob out.

Nathan twisted his dislocated arm and Stiles screamed, lifting his head as if to get more air for the scream. The sound echoed through the empty woods.

“You think that’s bad? When I’m done with you this’ll seem like nothing.” Nathan stated as if he were talking about the weather and not Stiles’ impending death.

Stiles shook his head vigorously, trying still to crawl away, out from beneath this behemoth of a monster. Tears streamed down his red face, mouth open as he gasped for air. He was in so much pain, he was so scared, and he felt so abysmally helpless.

Something hot and slightly wet brushed against his ass cheek and he gasped, pulling harder against the grass to try and pull himself away but still lay powerless against the strength of this demon. Nathan rocked his hips forward, pushing his dick against the swell of Stiles’ ass, not quite against the crease of his ass but too close still.

Stiles screamed again and once he started he couldn’t stop. He was terrified, he needed someone to come save him before…

The hot tip of Nathan’s dick pressed against the tight pucker of his ass and pressed. The pressure increased before it backed off again. Teasing.

Stiles screamed loud and hard. “Derek!”

A howl ripped through the woods and in his surprise Nathan pushed forward hard, breaching Stiles with his tip before Stiles rocked his hips forward and away, removing it. The hand on his forearm gripped tighter all of a sudden and hauled him backwards while another howl was let loose off to the right.

“Derek!” he screamed again.

“You little shit!” Nathan snapped at him and punched his hips forward, cock breaching Stiles again and tearing him as the head slipped inside once more. But that was all he got.

*

A colossal beast tore through the trees a little to Stiles’ right and plowed into Nathan, ripping him from Stiles and causing him to scream in pain. Screeches from inhuman vocal cords were followed by massive roars and thunderous booms as the two supernatural creatures fought just beyond the tree line, out of Stiles’ sight.

Trees fell all around him, causing him to quickly scramble out of the way to avoid being crushed. His arm screamed in pain with every movement but he had to keep moving. The two beasts were now on his left, terrible sounds of tearing and maiming reaching his ears and he prayed to whatever deity was out there that it wasn’t Derek sustaining those injuries.

A sudden and terrible ripping noise tore through the night air followed by a half scream and quickly silenced with squelching and crunching. Then everything was silent. Stiles huddled against a fallen tree, keeping pressure off his arm and his ass which he could feel bleeding sluggishly. His entire body was shaking like a leaf but his entire attention was on the spot just past the trees where the last sounds had come from.

“D-Derek.” He whispered, voice hoarse and shaking from crying, screaming, and fear.

A lumbering beast parted the trees in front of him and came to a stand-still about ten feet away from him. In the dark, moonless night Stiles could hardly make out the shape of what was standing in front of him, let alone believe it.

“Derek?” he whispered again.

A low, non-threatening growl came from the gigantic wolf in front of him. Stiles tentatively reached a shaking hand forward over the fallen tree, reaching out for the wolf. Carefully the wolf put one paw in front of the other, slowly so he wouldn’t startle Stiles, until he stood an inch away from him.

“Derek, that is you right?”

The wolf dipped its nose and gently touched Stiles’ fingers, a low rumble of confirmation in its chest.

“My goodness, look at you.” Stiles breathed. “You’re an actual wolf. Like, a gigantic, hugemungous wolf.”

Stiles could’ve sworn wolf-Derek rolled his blazing blue eyes at him but he couldn’t be sure.

“How did you find me? Nathan…he…it said you were on the other side of town. Said you…my dad…” Stiles’ words stumbled to a halt as his throat closed up.

Wolf-Derek carefully stepped over the fallen tree and nudged his head against Stiles’ body, sniffing and inhaling all along his skin as if checking to see if he was alright.

“I’m ok.” Stiles said as he leaned towards Derek a bit before hissing and remaining still. “Scratch that. Totally not ok. My shoulder is totally dislocated and if I weren’t in such a state of shock I’m sure I’d be screaming in agony right now. Also, my ass is on fire. That son of a bitch managed to get…” Stiles bit off the rest of his sentence and just shook his head when Derek growled menacingly deep in his throat. “Nevermind. That can be saved for later. Can you…can I just…would it be bad to ask for a ride back? I’m totally lost, hurt and kind of half-crazy right now.”

There was no faking the tremor and cracks in his voice as he spoke and Stiles felt hot tears streaking down the tracks already made in the dirt on his face. Derek gave a small whine and pressed his broad, warm tongue against his cheek, licking up the tears and cleaning up his face.

Derek bent down and Stiles took that as an affirmative to his request and carefully climbed onto Derek’s back, lying across his soft fur that had twigs and leaves in it and held on tight with his legs and good arm. As soon as he was secure he made a small noise of consent and Derek stood back up and took off.

Stiles had no doubt that Derek was going slower than he could be going but he was actually grateful for that since any faster and he would fall off and that would be like insult to injury. Derek took turns carefully and only jumped when absolutely necessary such as over a tree or bush that would take too much time going around. Stiles buried his face into Derek’s fur since he couldn’t see where they were going anyways.

When they came to a stop it startled Stiles out of whatever lulled state he’d fallen into and was unpleasantly reminded of his dislocated arm. He hissed and sat up as much as he could on Derek’s back. There were lights ahead flashing blue and red and his heart clutched in his chest. Derek lay down on his belly so that Stiles could climb off and stayed there for a bit for Stiles to cling on to as he wobbled a bit on rubbery legs.

“Wow, you’re a big wolf.” Stiles muttered when Derek stood again and came up to his shoulders. “You’d be absolutely terrifying in any other situation. Actually, no, you’re still kinda terrifying with all that blood on you. Eesh.”

Stiles gave a mock shudder but smiled weakly at Derek as he began hobbling towards the lights. Derek stayed with him until Stiles let go of him then gave him a quick swipe of the tongue before he darted back into the darkness of the woods.

Stiles slowly made his way to the tree line where a bunch of squad cars were parked, doors open and officers huddled into groups, discussing plans. Directly in front of him stood his dad standing next to another officer, their heads bent towards what looked like a map of the Beacon Hills Preserve and he couldn’t help a small cry of relief. His dad looked up at the noise and his sad, worried eyes widened in surprise and hope.

“Stiles?” he questioned as if he were simply an apparition.

“Dad.” Stiles croaked, hobbling forward as fast as he could.

His dad was moving even before the word was out of his mouth and Stiles was engulfed in his dad’s embrace. The move made pain shoot up his arm and he whimpered into his dad’s shoulder.

“Dad. Arm.” he said quietly.

His dad quickly pulled back and his eyes narrowed on his arm hanging limp against his side.

“What happened?” he asked simply even though he looked like he wanted to ask way more.

“Dislocated. Hurts.” Stiles ground out between clenched teeth.

Now that he was focusing on it, it seemed to hurt more and more.

“EMT!” his dad called and suddenly all eyes were on them and Stiles was swept away by the EMTs and officers.

On the way to the hospital he was given a quick assessment to catalogue the extent of the damage to his body. The main injury sustained was his dislocated shoulder followed by the internal and external bleeding of his rectum. The other injuries were mostly minor. Cuts and bruises decorated his skin and only a few on his arms and chest would need stitches from where he’d been pressed into the ground.

At the hospital they took him immediately to the ER and x-rayed his shoulder to see the extent of the damage. There was surprisingly little damage and by the time that his father had made it into the room the doctors had already snapped his shoulder back into place and were doing another x-ray to make sure he didn’t have any nerve or artery damage.

“Son,” his father breathed, “you really know how to make an old man worry.”

“I’m sorry dad. I’m so sorry.” Stiles shook his head. “I knew I was the target and I knew that he could change into anything but you weren’t answering your phone. I couldn’t get a hold of you or anyone else because I didn’t have my phone. When I went to go check on you at the station I saw you and you were going into the woods and… Dad, he was _you_.” Stiles choked out, feeling the sting of tears.

His dad ran a soothing hand up and down his hospital gown clad back. “Sh, it’s alright son. We don’t have to talk about this right now. We can talk about it after you’ve rested and are feeling up to talking.”

Stiles nodded. “Thanks dad. I don’t…I can’t… Derek. I need Derek.”

His dad turned. “He’s right…” Derek walked in the door. “here.”

Stiles reached out with his good hand that wasn’t in a sling and Derek immediately rushed into his arms, engulfing him with his body and wrapping around him protectively.

“Never. Ever. Do that to me again.” Derek growled lowly.

Stiles shook his head. “I won’t. I won’t I promise.”

Papa Stilinski sat at the foot of the hospital bed while Derek climbed in beside Stiles at his insistence. They lay there together until Stiles fell into an exhausted sleep and Papa Stilinski had to go back to work to file an official report and fill his deputies in on what happened. There was no official story yet for what had happened since Stiles hadn’t talked about it but there were still things that needed to be done to explain what had happened to Stiles.

Derek stayed with Stiles through the rest of the night, into the morning and by the late afternoon Stiles was beginning to stir in his arms. They hadn’t even moved.

“D’rek.” Stiles mumbled sleepily, reaching up with his good hand to rub his eyes.

“Here.” Derek said and pressed his fingers against Stiles’ cheek gently.

Stiles turned into the touch and sighed in contentment. “Dude, whatever painkillers they’ve got me on is doing wonders.”

Derek gave a small rumble of agreement. “I can smell them on you. I don’t like them. It makes you smell like…not you.”

Stiles gave a small chortle. “Yeah, ‘cause that’s specific.” There was a small pause before Stiles gasped and looked up at Derek with wide eyes. “Dude! You went full wolf!”

There was smug light in Derek’s eyes and the slightest upturn of the mouth when he looked at Stiles. “I know. I was there.”

“Yeah, but, _dude_. You were an actual _wolf_. I thought only Alphas could do that! And you were enormous!”

Derek grimaced slightly. “I don’t really know what happened either. It just…happened.”

Stiles frowned at him long and hard but Derek just shrugged. Stiles gave a long suffering sigh but just shook his head and didn’t push it.

“Well, whatever. We can talk about that later. Right now I just wanna cuddle in your warmth. You feel so good right here.”

Derek rumbled in agreement and tightened his arms around Stiles’ shoulders.

They lay like that for a while longer until a nurse followed by a doctor walked into the room and began looking Stiles over. Derek had to get off the bed but stood protectively close which the nurse and doctor both seemed to understand and simply worked around him. After a while the doctor began filling them in on what they’d found.

“Well Mr. Stilinski, you’ve had some serious trauma to your shoulder as well as some minor trauma to your rectum. We’re giving you some hydrocodone for short term pain relief and after that you can take ibuprofen. For the bleeding in your rectum we’re going to give you a salve since it’s the most effective. It might be uncomfortable applying it since it has to be applied both inside and outside but you should get used to it within a couple of days. If the bleeding doesn’t stop or the pain continues please come back immediately.”

The doctor gave a small smile at the slightly humiliated pair before turning away with the clipboard of information. The nurse was obviously hiding a smile while she busied herself with checking his bandages and IV drip. As soon as she was done she gave his foot a comforting pat.

“It’s ok hun, it’s really not all that bad. You’ll be discharged today so at least you can apply it in the privacy of your home.”

Stiles gave a long sigh and pressed his face into his palm for a few seconds before looking back up and giving her a small, embarrassed smile. “Yeah, there’s that at least. Thanks. Um, is my dad out there?”

The nurse gave a small shake of her head. “No, he said he’d be back around three. He’s checked in every hour on the hour though.”

Stiles sighed again but this time it was in relief. “Ok, thanks.”

“No problem. Get some rest sweetheart.”

Once she was gone Stiles leaned into Derek’s side.

“That was totally embarrassing. I can’t believe they said all that with you right there.”

Derek’s chest rumbled underneath his head. “I’d have asked you anyways and wouldn’t have stopped until I’d gotten an answer. Now we know what to do now.”

“We? Oh, no, no, no, no. You are so not helping. It’s already embarrassing enough as it is. You so do _not_ need to see my nasty, bloody asshole. Ugh, I can’t believe I just said that! Never thought I’d have to say that.” Stiles pulled an ick face. “Actually, I’ve never even thought of those words before. Never.”

“You’re saying ‘never’ an awful lot.”

“Yeah well, there are a lot of things that I ‘never’ want to have happen again so I’m cool with never. Never’s good. Yup! Totally cool.”

Stiles looked up into Derek’s face in time to see a troubled expression before it smoothed out again. He was about to push for an answer to that expression but the door opened again and the conversation was lost as his dad walked in.

“So, heard about your medication. That’s really somethin’ there.”

Stiles groaned and buried his face in his hands, shaking his head. The way his father had said it made it seem like it was something to take lightly which he was actually really grateful for. If this were treated as serious as it was he wasn’t sure how well he’d be able to handle it. He was much more comfortable and accepting with the way they made it seem like it wasn’t real, like it hadn’t happened.

“Let’s get you home kid. You are on house arrest until further notice.”

Stiles laughed and looked up at his dad. “You know, this might be the only time I’ll ever be ok with that.”

Derek rumbled in agreement and they both helped Stiles get into some normal, not hospital clothes and out of the hospital. After stopping by the pharmacy to pick up his prescriptions they were finally on their way home. Derek stuck to Stiles like glue, which was absolutely fine with him, all the way up to his room where he collapsed onto his bed gently and patted the space next to him for Derek. Once they were situated he cuddled up into his warmth and sighed.

“I’m glad you’re safe.”

“I’m glad I’m safe too. I’m glad you saved me.” Stiles said against his chest.

Derek clasped his arms around Stiles gently, making sure not to hurt him. “I’m never letting you out of my sight. Every time I do you always end up in trouble.”

Stiles chuckled. “That I do. I guess you’ll just have to keep an extra close eye on me.”

“Extra, extra close.” Derek growled and leaned down to slot his mouth over Stiles’.

The kiss was slow but full of passion, not at all sexual. Stiles sighed into it and Derek breathed it all in. Before anything could come of it though, Derek broke it and pressed one more chaste kiss against his forehead.

“You need more rest. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Stiles almost argued but the meds really were making him sleepy so he nodded. “Fine. But after I wake up I want a sexy wake-up kiss and a shower.”

Derek smirked, just a tiny pull of his lips, but nodded. “Got it.”

 

 


	21. Chapter 21

Stiles woke up with his head filled with cotton and mouth dry as the Sahara desert.

“Uuuuggghhhh.” He let out a long suffering groan and pressed a palm to his forehead.

“You awake for real this time?” a grumbling voice came from beside him and he jumped slightly at the unexpectedness of it.

Slowly he turned onto his side and gave Derek a long look. Derek had obviously been asleep as well, his hair sleep mussed and the tiredness still clinging to his eyes.

“Um, I think so? Why? How many times did I ‘wake up’?” Stiles asked groggily.

“I lost count after 5.”

“Dang, that many times? I don’t even remember any of them.”

“I’d be surprised if you did. You were so out of it from the meds that I’m surprised you’re even awake now.”

Stiles nodded. Groaning he stretched as much as he could without it hurting and was relieved when his stiff joints popped. His arm was still in the immobilizing sling but didn’t hurt even when he sat up since the pain meds were still in effect. A slight squish from his ass made him freeze.

“Um…” he said hesitantly and turned to stare at Derek with slightly humiliated eyes. “My ass is…wet?”

Derek’s tired expression morphed into a slightly wicked one before leveling out again. “The medicine has to be applied every six hours. I’ve already applied it twice.”

Stiles scoffed, arm flailing a bit in embarrassment. “And my dad just _let_ you?!” he squawked.

“He certainly didn’t want to do it. Though, if it makes you feel better, I didn’t look.”

“No, that does _not_ make me feel better! I’m dirty down there and gross and I was asleep and I must’ve been… _guuuuh_.” Stiles let out a disgruntled noise and covered his face with one hand. “At least tell me I didn’t make any weird noises.” He pleaded.

Derek was silent for so long that the mortification finally set in to stay. When Stiles turned to look at him the slight smirk on Derek’s face was confirmation enough.

“How long until it has to be done again?” Stiles asked, blowing out a breath and trying to simply accept this situation and move on.

“I applied it about an hour ago so not for a while longer.”

“Good, good. I can do that myself.”

“Now that you’re up you should probably shower and go see your dad. He’s been worried sick about you.”

Stiles nodded and carefully slid his feet off the bed and placed them on the floor. His body was still pretty numb from the meds but he could feel the ache from all his wounds that medicine could do nothing about. It was simply the presence of them that brought the discomfort. At least it wasn’t so bad that he couldn’t work through it.

When he tried to rise to his feet the world swam in front of his eyes and he sat back down again to regain his equilibrium before trying again. A hand at his back helped push him upright and stayed there while he steadied himself.

“I’m coming with you. I don’t want you injuring yourself further by falling over.”

“Right. Yeah. That sounds like a good idea.” Stiles agreed without a hint of argument since he really did fear for his wellbeing in this state.

“I’ll walk you to the bathroom then I’ll grab some clothes.”

“Sounds good.”

Carefully Derek led a wobbly Stiles out of his room, across the hall, and into the bathroom. Stiles settled gingerly on the toilet lid beside the bath before Derek let go. He reached over and pushed the knob all the way over to hot so that the water could warm up before they got in.

“I’ll be right back.”

“Mkay.” Stiles agreed before the bathroom door shut behind Derek.

Stiles carefully removed his clothing sitting down. His pajama shirt had been put on over his sling so he didn’t have to take it off in order to remove his shirt, thank goodness. He didn’t know if he’d be able to get it off otherwise. Once he was naked he leaned over into the tub and stoppered the drain so the hot water could fill the tub. A bath right now sounded way better than a shower and it would be easier to avoid getting water on his sling. The water rose steadily and the rhythmic sound of the water was lulling him into a daze. When the sound of the door finally echoed through the bathroom it started Stiles so bad he almost slipped off the toilet and into the bath.

“Whoa!” Stiles cried before righting himself. “What took you so long? Clothes don’t take that long to find, well, actually, in my room they might. But you’ve got wolfy senses! You should be able to sniff ‘em out at the very least.”

Derek raised one expressive eyebrow at him inquisitively before placing their changes of clothes on the counter beside the sink.

“I was talking to your father, telling him you’re awake and cleaning up before you go down.”

“Oh! Ok, that makes sense. Was he worried? He’s been sleeping right? Does he know the whole story of what happened?” the last question was asked quietly, hesitantly.

“He knows.” Derek says just as quietly. “It was kind of obvious what had happened. He hasn’t been sleeping well because of it but he’ll be alright. It’s kind of dumb to ask if he’s worried since even I’m worried.”

Stiles looked up into Derek’s pinched face. To anyone else it would have simply looked like his typical silent brood but Stiles knew better by now. Those surprisingly soft lips were turned down slightly in the corners and those bushy eyebrows were drawn ever so subtly up into a worried frown. Reaching up Stiles held his hand out for Derek’s face and was pleasantly surprised when he actually bent down in front of him. Stiles slid his hand over Derek’s longer-than-usual stubbled jaw and cupped his jaw. Gently he caressed his jaw with his thumb before smoothing the tight pinch between his eyebrows. Derek’s expression slowly evened out into a calmer, more open expression that made Stiles want to melt.

“I’m sorry for worrying you. It was a dumbass move to leave without one of you guys. I kind of…panicked.” Stiles confessed with shame.

Derek just shook his head and took a hold of Stiles hand and pressing a gentle kiss into the palm before turning it over and pressing another kiss onto his bandage wrist. Stiles gasped and tried to pull his arm away but Derek held on stubbornly, his breath ghosting over the bandage and exposed skin.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you. Did you do this last night?”

Stiles swallowed around the lump in his throat before giving a shallow nod. “I… I woke up from a nightmare. It was…bad. You weren’t there and I didn’t know what to do. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I promised that I wouldn’t and I keep on letting you down. Then I went and made the stupid-ass decision of leaving the house without one of you and _this_ happened.” Stiles said, gesturing with his whole body at the situation as a whole.

“I understand, it’s ok. Just…” Derek huffed, trying to control the vehement feelings inside of him. “never, _ever_ do that again. Don’t…don’t leave me. I finally have you, I can’t lose you too.”

They were silent, the only sound was the splashing of water into the slowly filling tub. Stiles gazed at Derek with sadness but also passion. He hadn’t realized just how strongly Derek felt for him and really it shouldn’t have surprised him. He’d shifted into a full wolf for him, to save him. He’d applied salve to his _ass_ for heaven’s sake! It shouldn’t surprise him that Derek cared this much.

“I think I love you.” Stiles blurted all of a sudden probably too loudly.

Stiles’ eyes went wide and would’ve slapped his hand over his mouth if Derek hadn’t been gripping it tightly. Derek’s eyes flashed at him, glowing blue briefly before hazel set back in.

“I might hold overtly fond feelings for you too.” Derek growled, voice not fully human.

Stiles felt his body flush hot with a strong blush, feeling overwhelmed. His heart was pounding hard in his chest and even with the pain meds it felt like it was painfully full to bursting. But it was a good feeling. Actually, it was a _great_ feeling. He never wanted this feeling to fade, ever.

“Good.” Stiles said, his natural bravado pushing past his speechlessness. “Because I won’t be letting you go anytime soon and I expect your _full_ cooperation.”

Stiles looked away from Derek with a petulant expression, his face aflame. The blush grew as a deep rumble of a laugh vibrated up his arm and echoed in his chest. Looking into the tub Stiles saw that it was mostly full so he tugged his hand away and turned it off to distract himself from making a fool of himself. Or…anymore of a fool.

Together they get up and Derek removes his clothes before getting into the bath first, pulling Stiles in after him and into his lap. The hot water stings his many cuts but the bandages on his chest and arms are high enough on his body that they stay above water. They bathe in comfortable silence, Derek carefully washing Stiles’ body and avoiding as many bruises and cuts as possible even though Stiles wasn’t even sure he’d feel them with the meds.

After a half an hour they’re both pruning up and feeling refreshed. Derek wordlessly helps Stiles out of the bath again and dries him off even though Stiles insists he’s not an invalid and can do it himself. After almost falling over in an attempt to dry his leg he takes back everything he said and claims to be the invalid he definitely is. Derek gives a small chuckle at that that makes Stiles’ heart flutter so loud Derek can hear it and only makes him chuckle even more.

Once they’re dressed Stiles feels a bit of anxiety crawl through him at the prospect of talking to his father about what happened but Derek simply takes his hand and squeezes reassuringly. Just like that the anxiety eases and he gives Derek a small smile before he opens the door. His father is downstairs sitting on the couch pretending to watch a baseball game rerun when they finally enter.

“Stiles!” his father jumps up immediately to wrap his son in a gentle but firm hug.

Stiles wraps his good arm around his dad’s back and squeezes as much as he can before letting go.

“Hey dad, whatcha watchin’?”

Papa Stilinski moves from the couch to the arm chair so that Stiles and Derek can take the couch. Clicking the remote the television flickers off.

“Nothing now. How are you feeling?” his dad starts off by asking.

Stiles takes a deep breath and leans into Derek slightly for support before nodding. “I’m doing ok. The pain medication is still working pretty well and I can hardly feel any of the cuts or bruises.”

Papa Stilinski nods and clasps his hands together as he leans forward in his chair. “You ready to talk about this?”

Stiles blows out a breath. “Well, I don’t think I ever will be so I’d rather just get it off my chest before I chicken out.”

“Ok. Then I think you should just start at the beginning of that night. You woke up and what happened. Derek, feel free to fill in any details.”

Stiles looks at Derek. “Actually, I don’t even know why you weren’t there last night. I think it’d be better if you started and not me.”

Derek looked like he’d rather swallow nails but gave a nod. “I got a call around three a.m. that night and the caller I.D. said that it was you sir.” Stiles’ eyebrows rose in surprise, he wasn’t expecting that. “When I picked up you, or what I now know as the creature, said that you’d found a lead on the creature and needed my help right away. I told you…it that Scott or Isaac should be the one to help but then it said that it needed the stronger one to take it down if we found it. It made sense so I called up Scott and told him to get over here to watch over Stiles.”

“Wait, if Scott was supposed to be there then why did I wake up alone?” Stiles interrupted.

“I was just getting there.” Derek berated him with a stern look and Stiles made a pantomime of zipping his mouth closed. “When I called Scott I told him that he needed to get over here right away and hung up without waiting for his response. He arrived only three minutes later and it was so fast that I should have been suspicious but once I saw him outside your window I just took off out the front door since I have a key and didn’t want to unlock your window. I didn’t know that it wasn’t Scott but the creature under the window. It was all my fault that this happened to you Stiles. I’m so sorry.”

Stiles gave him a light smack on the cheek and a firm look. “Dude, you couldn’t have known and if you thought it was my dad calling then there is no way in hell that I’d want you to waste time getting to him.”

“He still should’ve made absolutely sure that you were safe.” His dad said sternly and Stiles threw a glare at him.

“He’s right Stiles. I take full responsibility for what happened. I don’t know how but I’ll do everything I can to try and make up for it.” Derek said humbly.

Stiles pouted and crossed his arm as best he could with his other in the sling. “I still don’t blame you but I think I can come up with a few things.” At that his lips curved upwards slightly.

His dad made a distressed sound and covered his face with his hand while Derek just looked slightly constipated.

“Ok, Derek, you were saying?”

“Right. I went to the address you’d given me off Monroe Avenue near the Interstate Highway 89 but when I got there no one else was there. Immediately I knew that something was wrong and turned around. When I got back to the house Stiles was gone along with his Jeep. I followed the scent of the Jeep until I got to the station but then Stiles’ scent just vanished. There was nothing. I couldn’t see him, smell him, hear him, nothing. It was like something had completely covered his scent and every trace of him.”

Stiles could see the memories flitting through Derek’s face and the expression of panic on his face made Stiles’ chest tight with the remembrance of his own panic. He ran his fingers down Derek’s arm until he got to his hand and gripped it tight as if to say ‘it’s alright, I’m right here, safe and sound’. Derek’s fingers curled around him and when Stiles looked back up into his face the panic had subsided. Derek was still continuing with his side of the story.

“It took me a long time to find any trace of him. I searched all around the station but there was nothing so I had no idea which direction he’d gone in. I took a gamble and went into the woods simply because the last time Stiles had been attacked he’d been in the woods and it was in the opposite direction from where I’d come from. I just ran into the woods searching for anything that would help me find Stiles. It took me a long time before I finally caught Stiles scent against a tree. It smelled like Stiles had caught himself on it since there was blood on the bark. That’s when I howled the first time and Stiles must’ve heard me because he screamed for me.”

Derek looked like he was choking for a second before turning his tortured eyes onto Stiles. “I don’t ever want my name to be called like that ever again. _Ever_.”

Stiles blinked rapidly to dispel the burn of tears from behind his eyes and nodded.

Derek cleared his throat before continuing. “The knowledge that Stiles was in trouble, that he was hurting made my wolf lose control and before I knew what was happening the wolf took over completely. It hurt a lot. Changing shape, the bones and organs rearranging themselves hurt more than almost anything I’ve felt before but I remember the power I felt standing in the form of my wolf. It was like the raw energy that came with being a werewolf was let loose. It was both terrifying and satisfying. I knew I had the power to save you…if I could get to you in time. You know the rest.” He said to Stiles.

Stiles nodded and finally looked away from Derek and towards his father to continue the story. His father was looking at them with a slightly dumbfounded expression.

“Well, I’ll start with when I woke up then. I’d just woken from a nightmare and realized that Derek wasn’t with me immediately. I had a minor panic attack before trying to call you. You weren’t picking up and when I tried Scott he wasn’t picking up either. I didn’t remember Derek’s number by heart nor Isaac’s so I did the only thing that I could think of and drove to the station to find you. When I got there I didn’t see your car but when then I saw you walking around the side of the station and didn’t even think before I took off after you.”

 Stiles paused and licked his dry lips, leaning forward towards his dad. “This guy, dad, can turn into anyone. If he has a pair of your clothes then he can mimic you perfectly. When he changes the only thing that he can’t change is the clothes and the way he smells. He doesn’t have a scent according to the werewolves. Dad, he looked exactly like you and since I don’t have a werewolf’s nose I didn’t know he wasn’t you. He lead me into the woods and I followed blindly, needing you after the panic attack and after being unable to reach you or anyone else. I didn’t even think that you weren’t actually you. I just thought you couldn’t hear me.”

His dad made a small choked sound a lot like Derek had earlier and covered his mouth with one hand as if to hide his horror. Stiles didn’t want to continue, wanted to keep this horror from his dad but his dad had specifically asked him for the whole story so he continued.

“I followed him through the woods. He was too fast though and I lost sight of him before very long but I still kept going, needing to catch up to you. I have no idea how long I walked before I found the flashlight he’d been using and suddenly I just…knew. After that…I don’t…he tried to do what he’d done to all the others. Then Derek came and killed him. I didn’t see him kill him but I know for sure that it wasn’t Derek’s blood on his muzzle nor was the sound of bones crunching, Derek’s.”

Stiles abridged the rape part but he didn’t think his father minded. Neither of them wanted to hear about that awfulness, not again. Papa Stilinski drew in a shaky breath and wiped his hands on his pants before leaning back and simply staring at his son. After a few minutes he shook his head and sighed.

“I can’t even begin to comprehend what you must’ve been through and I’m sorry if I made you relive any of that. I’m glad I have the most of the story now though. I need to talk to Scott as well since his form was used.”

Stiles nodded. “I was wondering about that too. If Derek called him and he didn’t actually turn up then what’d happened to him? Also, dad, what’d happened to you? Did he get you too?”

“No, he didn’t get me. I’m pretty sure he was the one that called me though. I was sent on a bogus sighting call as well, across town just like Derek. I could’ve sworn my phone was on me when I left the station but when I got to the ‘scene’ it wasn’t in my pocket. I’m pretty sure that creature had something to do with that. I haven’t been able to find it. Like you two I knew that something was wrong and went home. You weren’t there and the door was wide open. When I got to the station your Jeep was in the parking lot and I knew that you were in trouble. I gathered everybody I could and was just about to send everyone throughout the town and woods looking for you when you came out of the forest. Son, I gotta say, never in all my life have I been so scared. Not even when my life was on the line under the Nemeton.”

“I’m sorry dad. I…I didn’t mean to.” Stiles looked away from his father in shame.

“No, son, no. That’s not what I mean. I don’t think that any of this was your fault in any way. This is all on that sick bastard. Derek, are you sure he’s dead?”

Derek growled and from between pointed teeth said, “Very.”

Papa Stilinski nodded his head. “He’d better be. Things have a tendency of coming back to life in this town.”

Stiles nodded and felt a shiver run through him. If that thing wasn’t truly dead then things would surely take a turn for the worst. Again. Why did these things always happen to them? Seriously, everything supernatural and bad _always_ happened to them in this stupid Hell hole of a town.

“Alright kid, you hungry? I’m completely done with this conversation until further notice and I know you haven’t eaten in who knows how long.” Papa Stilinski muttered and pushed himself up out of the chair.

“I could eat.” Stiles agreed with a nod.

Derek helped him off the couch and into the kitchen after his father and set him into a chair at the table, taking the chair right next to him.

“Anything you want in particular?”

“Grilled cheese with tomato soup?” Stiles asked.

“You got it kid. Anything for you Derek?”

“Same.”

Papa Stilinski nodded and busied himself with getting things out of the fridge and pantry while Stiles watched him, his head resting against Derek’s shoulder.

“This has been a seriously shitty couple of months.”

“It’s been a pretty shitty couple of years.” Derek corrected and Stiles had to agree.

“Ever since Laura came back I guess. If she’d stayed in New York with you then she’d never have died and you Uncle wouldn’t have killed her and gained psycho Alpha powers and bitten Scott when we were out looking for Laura’s body. I’m really sorry about that by the way. I was a stupid kid and thought that it would be fun to go and look at half a body. I didn’t even think that the body might actually have a family.” Stiles apologized feeling grim.

“You’re right. It could’ve gone that way but then I never would’ve come back and met all of you. I’d never have had my betas or met you. I think that while I miss Laura every day and I wish none of this had ever happened, if it hadn’t happened then I wouldn’t be here.”

Stiles gave a small smile and looked up into Derek’s face. “You’ve really grown up Der-bear.”

Derek glared at him but Stiles could tell there was no real heat behind it. “Don’t call me that.”

“I’ll call you what I want. Der-bear.” He said again just to spite him.

A small smile tugged at the corner of Derek’s lips but other than that he didn’t grace Stiles with a response. Stiles took that as a win and rested his head back onto his shoulder. It only took another ten minutes or so for the soup and sandwiches to be ready. A huge plate was served in the middle of them and three bowls were distributed to each of them. Stiles dipped a sandwich into his soup and took a huge bite, groaning when the wonderful taste burst across his taste buds.

“Soooo gooood! Real cheese is _way_ better than that nasty fake American Slices stuff. I don’t even know what that’s made of. Is that even cheese? I don’t think it is. Real cheese is stringy like this.” Stiles emphasized by taking a bite and pulling the sandwich away from him and stretching the cheese across the table. “Now that’s real cheese!” he mumbled around his bite.

“I didn’t realize you cared so much about cheese.” His dad muttered as he slurped a spoonful of soup.

“Of course! Cheese is like the holiest of dairy products! It’s delicious salty, cheesy, stringy goodness is absolute perfection!” Stiles declared before dunking his sandwich again and moaning around the bite.

Derek carefully schooled his face and actions into calmness so that neither Stiles nor his father could tell just how much those lewd and totally inappropriate moans were getting to him. The mouth on that boy was going to the death of him from the way it moved to the sounds it made. The way Stiles ate was practically pornographic to Derek. By his fourth sandwich and Stiles’ second Derek was already sporting an uncomfortable half hard-on under the table. He was immensely glad when Stiles finished that sandwich and his soup before declaring he was too full to eat any more. The groans of fullness weren’t all that better though.

“Dude, hurry up and finish. I wanna go cuddle.” Stiles complained at Derek.

Papa Stilinski gave him a hard look but didn’t say anything, which Derek was immensely grateful for. Quickly he stuffed the last quarter of his fifth sandwich in his mouth and downed the rest of his soup. He took Stiles’ and his bowls and plates to the sink and rinsed them before setting them in the dishwasher.

“You’re so polite. Why couldn’t you be like that before?”

“Because you were an annoying brat who got on my every nerve. Why would I treat you nicely if you don’t treat me with respect?”

“Aw, such as sourwolf. I guess I deserve that.” Stiles conceded with a grin before holding out his hand.

Derek took hold of him and pulled him upright, putting a steadying arm around his waist.

“I’m gonna go take a nap daddy-o.”

Papa Stilinski nodded and finished up his last bite of sandwich before responding.

“Alright son. I’d say leave the door open but I _really_ don’t want to know what goes on in your room. I’m hoping that you both have enough common sense not to do anything while your injured and to use protection.”

Derek could physically feel Stiles’ temperature rise as he blushed and if he wasn’t in the same state he’d have laughed at him.

“Ah, psh, wuh, dad! We’re not doing anything! We haven’t even _done_ anything…yet.” Stiles stuttered indignantly before pouting.

Papa Stilinski waved his hands at them. “Nope, nope, nope! I don’t want to know. You just…take care of yourselves and I’ll be happy.” Papa Stilinski points a threatening finger at Derek. “If you hurt my boy though, you’re in for a world of hurt. It’ll be a good thing you’ll heal from bullets because I’d put one in your dick, you got me?”

“DAD!” Stiles yelled and began dragging a shocked and more than likely traumatized Derek out of the kitchen and towards the stairs. “That was _so_ not needed!”

“Rest well son!” his dad called cheerfully after them.

Stiles stomped up the stairs and into his room, pulling Derek in after him and slamming the door. He leaned against the door with his forehead pressed against the wood and groaned in humiliation.

“My dad can be a little overprotective.”

“It’s ok. He has a very good reason to be overprotective. For one I’m a werewolf which means I’m more hazardous than a human. Second, you always seem to land yourself in dangerous situations that nearly get you killed. I’d say he has the right to be overprotective.” Derek presses up against the back of Stiles, his heat soaking into him. “Besides, if I ever hurt you I’m pretty sure I’d hand the gun and bullets over to him personally.”

Stiles spun around and grounded him with a glare. “Don’t you dare say that Derek Hale. If you ever hurt me or left me it’d probably be for a good reason. You’re not like that. You don’t intentionally hurt people simply to hurt them.” Stiles reached up and stroked the side of his face. “I need you and I’m not just saying that for posterity or sexy times. I’m saying that because you literally keep me sane. Without you I’d be dead from both outside forces and by my own hand.”

Derek grabbed his hand in a tight grip. “I’ll keep your hands busy then.”

Stiles smirked and wiggled his fingers.

“Later though. You’re still hurting and what’s happened to you cannot be taken lightly. I don’t want to trigger anything that might remind you of what happened so I’m going to wait for a while until you heal both in body and in mind.”

Stiles gave him a small, sad smile but nodded. “Yeah, I think that’d be a good idea.”

Derek pulled him over to the bed and settled the both of them amongst the sheets before pulling the comforter over them, cuddling up to his back.

After a few minutes of silence Derek whispered against Stiles’ shoulder, “I’m sorry I couldn’t be your first. I’m sorry that had to be taken from you like that after I’d promised.”

“Shush. I don’t think I can count that as my first time. Sure his dick managed to squeeze its way in but it was only the head and only for the briefest of moments. I’m only so damaged because of how unprepared I was and how rough he was.” Stiles carefully turned so he could look at Derek. “When you take my virginity you better make damn sure to thoroughly prep me or I will rip you a new one.”

Derek allowed the smallest of smiles before his face went serious again. “I would never hurt you like that. I’ll make sure you feel nothing but pleasure.”

Stiles smiled at him, a full, toothy grin. “Good. Now shut up or my dick is going to take interest too.”

Derek huffed. “Do you have any idea what your eating was doing to me? The noises you make and the way your mouth moves…” Derek shook his head.

“Oo, did I make you hard? Did my mouth turn you on? I bet I could do it again.” Stiles smirked, his eyes full of promises.

“Stiles.” Derek growled warningly. “Later. Right now you need to focus on healing.”

Stiles huffed out a pouty sigh. “Yeah, yeah. I know.”

“Good. Now take a nap. I won’t let go of you for anything.”

“You’d better not.”

“Not even to answer my phone. Now shut up and sleep.”

Stiles grinned and turned back onto his side, back pressed up against Derek. “Bossy. I might like that.” He practically purred.

Derek growled and Stiles laughed before snuggling under the blanket and clutching Derek’s arm to his chest where it was thrown over him. It took him a bit to fall asleep since he’d just slept for over twelve hours but his body really did need the rest to heal and finally he fell into a peaceful rest.

 

 


	22. Chapter 22

The weeks went slowly, oh so slowly. The scrapes and bruises were the first to go, fading away to faint yellow marks and pink scars. Stiles was embarrassed to say but the thing that felt like it took the longest to heal was his ass. The embarrassment at the treatment itself made Stiles dread the alarm that went off every six hours. Unfortunately Derek still had to do the application of the medicine since his sling restricted his movement too much to get a good angle.

By week three though the internal damage had healed nicely and he was glad when he was able to shove the medicine tube into the farthest reaches of his bathroom drawers and prayed it’d never see the light of day again. The werewolves had finally let up on the coddling and overprotective crap that made Stiles feel both happy and overwhelmed at the same time.

Scott had been hanging out with him more as though he was finally realizing what a terrible friend he’d been for a while then. They were in the middle of a rather one-sided video game battle (since Stiles’ arm was still in a sling) when Scott finally breached that subject.

“Stiles, are you mad at me?”

Stiles startled, the question unexpected and groaned when his character blew up on screen. He put down his controller and looked at Scott who was staring at him with a sad face of grudging anticipation, as if bracing himself for whatever Stiles said. Stiles blew out a breath and ran his good hand through his messy hair.

“Well, I was for a while and I guess I kinda still am but… I guess I just became unfeeling about it.” Stiles gave him a sad look. “Scott, you don’t even know what I’ve really been through these past few months. If you think that Nathan was the only thing that had happened to me then you’re fucking stupid.”

Scott flinched but Stiles ignored it. “Dude, you left me alone for months, literally on my own. I had to deal with all this emotional trauma and shit on my own. You weren’t there for me when I called or texted. You weren’t there for me when I needed you. Do you know what that did to me?”

Stiles watched as Scott winced at his words as if they were actually physically wounding him. When Scott didn’t answer Stiles turned his whole body on his bed to look at him on the floor.

“Scott…” Stiles fidgeted with his hands, bouncing his knee, unable to figure out just how to tell him. “Scott…I wanted to _die_. That’s how bad it was. I didn’t want to go through this anymore.”

“Stiles! No! I…” Scott bolted up onto his knees next to the bed with a look of horror.

“Dude!” Stiles held up his hand to shut him up. “You _left_ me! You _abandon_ me! I didn’t have _anyone_! At first I just pushed it away, all the horrid feelings I was having and slowly they did go away. After a few months I couldn’t feel anything anymore but there were still the nightmares. Every single damn night Scott. I had been _possessed_! I had hurt and killed people and I remember doing it and _loving_ it. You have no way of knowing how that feels but you didn’t even bother to be there for me. You ran off after Allison and after she no longer looked at you, you ran after Isaac!”

Scott’s face flushed as his mouth dropped open in shock. “Wait…uh…Isaac and I aren’t…”

“Oh please, Scott. I know you better than you know yourself. I can totally see what’s going on there. We can get to that in a bit _after_ I tell you why exactly I’m mad at you.”

Scott nodded sheepishly before turning serious again. “What happened?”

Stiles looked down at his hand twisting in the fabric of his comforter. “It was an accident at first. I’d cut my hand on a piece of glass from a cup I dropped and it was like…all that bad was washed away. All that bad nothingness that I couldn’t do anything about was replaced with these memories of running with you guys and helping you even though I’d always get hurt in the end. It reminded me of when I was wanted and after that…well, I couldn’t really stop.”

Stiles held up his arm and tugged at his sleeve with the fingers of his arm in the sling to reveal the dozens of scarred lines marring his pale wrist almost to the elbow. Scott’s face twisted with horror and hurt and shock before settling on pain as he reached out with a hesitant hand to gently touch the raised lines.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Scott whispered.

“You didn’t listen. You didn’t care. You didn’t even _try_ Scott. What was I supposed to do? By this point I was beyond caring and couldn’t have done anything. You know, Derek’s the one that noticed? It was almost like adding insult to injury. You were there and yet he was the one to notice. Isaac didn’t notice anything either. How the Hell did Derek fucking Hale notice before you who’s known me since we were five?”

Scott made a choking noise but Stiles pressed on, needing to get this out of the way so that it wouldn’t be shoved down again and the whole process would be started all over again. “I’ll live with these for the rest of my life but I don’t regret them. They helped bring me out of that hole I’d been cast into. It brought Derek to me.” Stiles covered up his arm again and scooted back until his back rested against the headboard. “Now that you know, what are you going to do?”

“Stiles…” Scott choked and gripped the comforter hard as if to ground himself. “I swear that I’ll never ignore you again. You are my most important friend and that’ll never change. I’m so sorry that I was such a fucking oblivious asshole.” Stiles’ eyebrows raised at his use of coarse language but he didn’t comment since, really, it was true. “I’ll do whatever I can just…I’m so, so sorry. Is there any way that you can forgive me and be my best friend again?”

“There is a way but right now I don’t think I can forgive you. You’ll always be my best friend but I’m really screwed up because of this. We can start by talking about you and Isaac though. Some humiliation might be good for you.”

Stiles smirked as Scott’s face lit into a flush at the mention of Isaac once more. He sputtered for a bit before shrugging.

“I didn’t mean for it to happen. It just sort of…did.”

“What happened and when?” Stiles questioned, getting comfy for the long interrogation.

Scott blew out a breath and sat back in the bean bag he’d scooted over from the corner. “It was after the Zduhać thing. You remember when we’d gone to see Allison?” Stiles nodded so Scott continued. “Well, we were there for a while before I really noticed anything was off. I kept staring at him but I hardly glanced at Allison, it was like she didn’t matter at all anymore. Can that even happen?! I was so in love with her! I thought we were going to get married and have a bunch of little babies. Even after we broke up I thought there was still a chance for that. When she broke up with Isaac I thought for sure she would accept me again but when I was there with all three of them she seemed the least important.”

Stiles rolled his eyes at Scott’s crazy infatuation with Allison but then frowned at himself when he thought of all those years he’d crushed on Lydia. Yeah, he couldn’t really judge him on that one.

“So, are you and Isaac a thing now? I know for a fact the only reason Isaac even looked at Allison was because he didn’t want you with her.”

There was a moment of silence as Scott just stared at Stiles in shock before his eyebrows drew down in confusion and deep thought.

“Are you sure? It seemed like they were pretty hot for each other.”

“Oh I’m sure buddy. I’d know the look of infatuation anywhere and that boy has it so hard for you. Literally. How are you so oblivious to everything?!”

Scott groaned in frustration. “I don’t know!”

“I take it you haven’t asked him out then?”

“Of course not! He’s a guy!”

Stiles stared at Scott for so long with a look of exasperation that Scott kinda just shrunk in on himself with a sheepish look.

“Dude, I’m so in love with Derek it’s ridiculous and I had never even thought of dating him, yet here we are! Hop aboard the gay train ‘cause it ain’t gonna just wait around for you! If you don’t ask Isaac out soon he’s probably going to think he has absolutely no chance with you and he’s going to move on. It’ll be your loss.”

Scott looked so conflicted, staring down at his hands in frustration before finally just throwing them into the air. “You know what?! Fine! Just…fine. I’ll ask him out tomorrow.”

Stiles’ face split into a grin and he reached over to clap him on the shoulder. “There we go buddy! That’s the right attitude! Just don’t chicken out or I’ll tell Isaac myself. I swear I will make it the most embarrassing confession you’ve ever hear. I’ll tell him you wax poetry over his gorgeous blond locks and dreamy blue eyes and how you can’t get over his charming smile or hot bodeh.” Stiles does a little jig that has Scott half choking, half laughing.

“You’re not supposed to talk about me when I’m not here.” A deep voice came from the other side of the door before it opened.

Scott squawked in surprise and embarrassment while Stiles burst out laughing as Derek entered his the room and shut the door behind him. He was wearing his usual leather jacket, a grey Henley, and dark grey jeans. He looked good and Stiles made sure he knew it by eye-fucking him as he toed off his boots and shrugged out of his jacket. He only got a smirk in return before Scott was bouncing up off the bean bag.

“Uh, well, I’m gonna go and…do stuff. I’ll see you later Stiles, text you…later. Derek.” He mumbled awkwardly before darting out of the room and shutting it loudly behind him.

They both listened to his hurriedly retreating footsteps until the front door slammed and finally Stiles let out a loud guffaw.

“You totally planned that didn’t you? How long had you been standing there?”

Derek shrugged and climbed onto the bed, spreading himself out next to Stiles. “I didn’t want to interrupt. You’d been grouching about talking to him all week and when I heard his voice I figured you wouldn’t want to be interrupted. Did you guys talk about everything you needed to?”

Stiles sighed and nodded his head. “Yeah. He knows everything now. At least he seems appropriately contrite. We were talking about Isaac by the way. Scott has the stupidest crush on the boy and you and I _both_ know how in love Isaac is with Scott.”

“Scott is so oblivious and relaxed that I wonder how he manages to stay alive. He even has all these werewolf senses to help him out and he’s still this clueless. He’s going to get himself stuck in a sticky situation if he doesn’t get a grip.”

“I couldn’t agree more. Isaac could use some clue-giving as well.” Stiles shook his head and sighed before turning to look at Derek. “So tell me wolf-man, what are you doing here today? Didn’t my dad offer you a job down at the station? I thought you’d be working there most days now.”

Derek shrugged. “I don’t have a job there exactly. It’s more of a consulting partnership. Whenever things get…tricky they’ll come to me. Or…your dad’ll come to me. I don’t think any of his deputies like me very much.”

“Well, you were a felon. I think they’ll warm up to you once you stop glaring at them. Also, no growling, that’ll just make the warming up more difficult.”

“I do not growl at them and I only glare because they glare at me. Also, you’re the reason I was arrested in the first place.”

Stiles chucked at their banter and Derek looked at him with soft eyes. “You seem better. How are you feeling? Has your arm been bothering you?”

Stiles shook his head. “My arm feels fine. A little achy but I seriously think I can get this stupid sling off. I’m feeling a lot better than a few weeks ago, that’s for sure. I’d feel better if you came just a little closer though.” Stiles wriggled his eyebrows slyly.

Derek couldn’t help but smirk at the poorly concealed request but did as he was told by scooting closer so that he could drape an arm around Stiles’ chest and press his torso against Stiles, draping one leg across both of Stiles’.

“Not what I meant doofus.” Stiles laughed and gripped Derek’s jaw and pulled him up.

Derek went willingly until he was able to press their lips together gently. Derek hovered over Stiles as they kissed slowly, simple presses of their lips against each other’s until Stiles groaned, opening his mouth to Derek. Stiles let his tongue slide up the slick length of Derek’s and into his mouth making Derek shiver with arousal. The feeling of Derek’s stubble against his chin and cheeks made Stiles press harder into the kiss. A small mewl escaped Stiles’ throat when Derek’s teeth scraped against his bottom lip.

“Derek, clothes…blankets, off. _Now_.” Stiles demanded, his hand already scrabbling at Derek’s shirt.

Derek made a small sound of agreement, pulling back long enough to shuck his shirt and unbutton his jeans before leaning back over Stiles who had taken advantage of the short break to rid himself of the comforter but couldn’t quite get his shirt off since the sling was in the way.

“Damn it.” Stiles growled before Derek’s mouth covered his again.

Derek’s hands pushed the fabric up Stiles’ torso and helped him slide off his good arm and broke away to pull it over his head. He let the fabric hand off his shoulder with the sling and instead gripped Stiles’ button in his hands before replacing his mouth over Stiles’ and jerking the button open. Stiles’ body shook when Derek’s finger gently stroked the skin of his hipbone, tracing the defined lines of muscle and bone. When he made no other move to divest Stiles of his jeans he grabbed the end of one pant-leg with his toes and started wriggling out of them. Derek chuckled against his lips which earned him a firm slap on the ass.

As if without his consent his legs spread wide to let Derek fit his body between his thighs. The warmth of Derek’s body made him shiver as Derek’s skin pressed against his. It was an intense feeling he’d been craving for a while but his damn injuries had kept on getting in the way of him doing anything. It’d gotten so bad by the end of last week he could barely stand being in the same room with Derek in fear of popping an inappropriate boner. With all the supernatural stress and his depression getting out of hand he hadn’t jerked off in so long that it was an actual physical pain.

 Arousal burned in his gut as he pushed his body up and into Derek’s, moaning low into his mouth as the pressure provided delicious friction to his clothed cock. Through Derek’s jeans he could feel the awakening arousal pressing against its denim prison and into the curve of his hip.

“Mph, Derek…off. Take your pants off.” Stiles mumbled against his lips, pressing with his body and scrambling with his hands.

Derek’s only answers was to growl against his lips and begin pressing kisses against his cheek, his jaw, the long, lithe line of his throat. He paused there and placed sloppy, open-mouthed kisses against Stiles’ fluttering pulse point. Stiles shivered as his skin prickled with arousal, tiny whines escaping his throat.

“Dereeeek!” he whined and bucked impatiently against him.

“We should probably wait for the doctor to ok strenuous activity first, shouldn’t we?” Derek’s voice rumbled against his throat as he continued sucking marks into the pale skin there.

“No way. My body, I do what I want with it. I want you _now_ Derek.” Stiles grabbed his face tightly with his good hand and brought him back up to kiss him violently so he knew just how much he meant it.

Derek kissed him back hard for all of five seconds before pulling back and pressing a single finger against the protest already making it to Stiles’ lips. Once he knew that Stiles was going to stay properly quiet he drew back and stood up beside the bed. Stiles watched with hungry eyes as Derek hooked his fingers into the band of his pants and tugged them down, bending to tug the bottoms off his jeans off his feet and giving Stiles a great view of his ass. Stiles couldn’t resist the temptation in his face and quickly sat up to cop a feel of his firm cheeks.

“Mm, your ass Derek. It’s like it was made of all things tempting.” Stiles groaned and kneaded the taught flesh for a few more seconds before hooking his fingers beneath the elastic and tugging the back of Derek’s underwear down and over one ass cheek. “Oh yeah, very tempting.”

Stiles leaned forward and quickly placed his mouth to the smooth skin and pressed kiss after kiss into the supple flesh before opening his mouth and biting lightly into the strong muscle. He felt Derek jerk beneath his hands and mouth and smirked against his flesh, placing a gentle kiss against the bite before finally tugging his underwear over the swell of his other cheek and snapping it. Derek got the message and eased it over his front and let them slip down his legs. Almost shyly he turned and faced Stiles, his erection bobbing in the air just at face-level with Stiles.

“Oh sweet heavens.” Stiles shivered and pressed the heel of his hand sharply against his dick. “Either you let me get that in my mouth or you get that in my ass right now otherwise I’m going to embarrass myself by coming without the excuse of at least having touched you.”

Stiles’ heart is beating hard and fast inside his ribcage, threatening to jump right out of his chest at the mere sight of him. Luckily Derek only makes him suffer a few more seconds before he’s putting his hand gently on Stiles’ good shoulder and leaning over him, pressing him into the mattress.

“You can blow me some other time. Right now I want to be inside of you.” Derek says against the skin of his throat.

Stiles nods enthusiastically. “Yeah, yes, that sounds like such a good plan. I’ve waited so long. Though don’t be surprised or judge me if I cum in, like, two seconds. It’s been weeks since I’ve jerked off and now that I’ve actually started popping boners again I can’t take care of them since subtlety is basically nonexistence with werewolves constantly in your house and paying very close attention to you in particular.”

Stiles is about to continue on that line of thought when Derek chuckles and slips his fingers under the band of his underwear and slide them slowly off his hips, tugging them out from under him and finally pulling them over his erection and off his legs, throwing them somewhere else in the room. As soon as they’re off Stiles spreads his legs once more and the groan that rips from his throat when Derek’s hot erection presses against his is absolutely filthy.

They rut against each other for a minute or so, just enough to get Stiles breathing heavily and the faintest edge of orgasm to build in his stomach. It’s as if Derek knows exactly when to pull off because the instant he does Stiles is left with the retreating orgasm.

“Do you want to do it like this or the other way?” Derek asks, looking down at him seriously.

The thought of him being on his knees jolts Stiles out of his pleasured haze almost violently. Derek senses the change immediately and puts a calming hand against his cheek, cupping his face gently and leaning in to press a small kiss to his lips.

“It’s ok, we don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for. I know what you went through won’t make this easy. If you want to try another time I won’t be upset that we stopped here.”

Stiles was already shaking his head, a fierce look on his face as he blinked up at Derek. “No. I want this. I want this and have wanted this so bad that if we stop here I will legitimately scream in frustration. Just because he did that to me doesn’t mean that I have to let that control me. I want you to take what he did to me and replace it. I don’t consider what he did to me as being my first time. I still want to have that with you. Right now to be specific.” He leans up a bit to press his lips against Derek’s and kiss him slow and passionate. “You’ll make me feel good where he only made me feel bad.”

“I’ll do my absolute best to make sure you only feel good things, I swear.” Derek said seriously, his eyebrows drawn down.

Stiles smiled gently up at him, feeling his heart flutter in his chest at the emotions he saw in his eyes and reached up to smooth out his eyebrows with his thumbs. “I know you will. Now chop chop! I am in serious need of a mind-blowing orgasm! Preferably induced by you.”

Derek looked like he wanted to continue scowling in seriousness but he couldn’t stop the small quirk of his lips which told Stiles he was definitely in favor of his plan. Gently Derek pressed his thumb against Stiles’ plump bottom lip and shuddered in pleasure when his pink tongue flickered out to wet the pad of it. Quickly he leaned onto one hand and blindly reached for Stiles’ side table, yanking open the top drawer and rummaging through the contents until his fingers wrapped around a plastic tube and he yanked it out. Without closing the drawer he pressed the tube into Stiles’ hand but didn’t let go.

“How did you know where that was? I swear I haven’t pulled that out around you. At least,” Stiles gave Derek a concerned look, “I don’t think I have. Have I?”

Derek shook his head. “I can always smell it. It’s just one of those scents that are easy to pick out among others. Now, do you want to prepare yourself or would you like me to do it?”

Stiles’ brows draw together as he contemplates the answer and Derek’s glad he’s honestly thinking about it. He gently rubs a thumb against Stiles’ jaw as he patiently waits for his answer. Finally Stiles nods at him.

“I want you to do it.”

Derek’s eyebrows shoot towards his hairline. “Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.”

Stiles nods again with a firm look. “I’m sure. You haven’t hurt me the entire time you applied medicine to my ass and I can never get the angle right so I’m sure you’ll do a much better job. I’m going to need thorough preparation if I’m going to take that monster pressed against me.” Stiles chuckles.

Derek huffs an indignant laugh but nods and kisses him quickly. “If you’re sure.”

Stiles nods one more time. “I’m absolutely sure. I trust you.”

Derek’s heart beats hard at those words and his memories transport him throughout the many long months since Stiles had said the exact opposite of those words and can’t help but feel incredibly grateful that things have gone in this direction. Derek surprises Stiles with one more rough, deep kiss before gripping the lube again and sitting back on his heels to look down at Stiles spread out and flushed before him with himself positioned between his legs. The sight was enough to make his cock twitch with interest which didn’t go unnoticed by Stiles who wriggled in front of him with impatience.

“Relax for me Stiles.” Derek commanded, running a soothing hand up his thigh before flipping the lid open on the lube and wetting his fingers.

Quickly he warmed the slick liquid up between his fingers before pressing the tip of his middle finger delicately against the tight pink entrance between Stiles’ cheeks. Stiles jolted slightly like he did every time he or Derek touched him there before remembering to relax and spread his legs farther apart, bringing his knees up around Derek to give him more room. With the pink pucker exposed Derek could see what he was doing and groaned at the sight of the slick muscle twitching.

When he’d had to apply the medicine before it’d been an off-white cream which meant that even if Stiles had let him see it’d have been difficult to see puckered skin. Instead it’d always been applied while Stiles held his eyes since Stiles had been adamant about him not seeing him while he was still ‘disgusting and bloody’, which Derek respected. Now though he could see the healthy skin shining and twitching as he ran his finger around and around his entrance, relaxing him.

“Oh would you just hurry up! I’m gonna turn eighty before you do anything!” Stiles finally got fed up with the achingly slow pace.

“I want to make this the best I can for you. You’re really tight here.”

“Then loosen me up quicker!”

Derek simply pressed a kiss to the inside of his knee but continued just rubbing the lube into his skin around his entrance. He applied some more to the crease of his ass before going back to the tight entrance. Slowly, very, very slowly, he pushed his finger against the ring of muscle, which immediately tightened, before drawing back again. He did this over and over until finally he was able to push past the muscle without so much as a twitch, the tip of his finger sliding in smoothly.

Stiles groaned loudly as Derek teased him over and over, the need to move almost overwhelming but he knew how important this process was. When Derek’s finger finally breached him, sliding just barely inside he felt a sharp burst of arousal that had the tip of his cock blurting precum. He’d been watching Derek’s concentrated face the entire time and when the scent of precum hit him those vivid green-hazel eyes locked on his and his nostrils flared. Stiles bit his lip ineffectively on a whimper and felt Derek’s finger wriggle inside of him in answer.

“Please! Put more in! You’re taking too damn long and I’m going to cum before you even do anything and, frankly, I’m gonna be a little pissed about that because it’ll be like reemphasizing that I cum like a teenager.” Stiles ranted.

Derek smirked the smallest bit before looking back down at where his finger was sinking into Stiles and pulled back a little before pushing his finger in farther to the second knuckle. Slowly he worked his finger in and out of him, going deeper each time until his hand was pressed against Stiles’ ass. Stiles was letting out a litany of lewd noises and making almost imperceptible movements with his hips, grinding down on Derek’s finger.

“Damn it Derek.” Stiles gasped. “More.”

Stiles was just begging now and Derek couldn’t help but find a certain amount of satisfaction in it, that he’d been the one to drive Stiles to this state of being. Gently he extricated his finger from the tightness it was enveloped in and spread some more lube onto his fingers, two this time and pressed his middle finger back into Stiles, pumping them in and out before pressing the tip of his index against the opening. When he slipped that one in as well Stiles hardly seemed to notice and simply accepted it, his body drawing him in. Derek groaned low in his chest at the feeling of his fingers being accepted so readily.

Stiles groans loud and long at the feeling of Derek’s fingers inside of him and squeezes his eyes shut, throwing his head backwards against his pillow. If he kept on watching Derek’s enraptured expression he’d inevitably cum and he absolutely didn’t want to do that before Derek was all the way inside of him. When Stiles heard Derek groan he whimpered and resisted the urge to take his dripping cock that lay against his belly into his hand and stroke himself to orgasm.

“You’re doing so well Stiles. I have two fingers all the way inside of you. Can you feel them? How deep they are inside of you?” Derek asked as he gently crooked his finger, rubbing them against the silken walls inside of Stiles.

“Ah! Yes! Derek!”

Stiles’ body jerked as if he’d been electrocuted, his hips stuttering up off the bed to push back onto his fingers.

“More!” he demanded and Derek was nothing if not obliging and pressed and rubbed them harder inside of Stiles.

Derek pumped his fingers gently inside of Stiles even though Stiles begged for him to go faster more than once. After a bit more he drew his fingers apart and spread Stiles open to loosen him further. Stiles mewled and Derek’s eyes shot to his face which was currently clenched open mouthed in pleasure. Derek took that as a go-ahead to add another finger, which he did after adding a bit more lube.

Stiles felt like all of his nerves were on high alert all focused on the pleasure in his ass which is why when a flicker of pain registered he let out a shocked sound and flinched. Immediately Derek stilled, third finger half inside of him. Stiles groaned and shoved down on him.

“No, don’t stop! Derek, come on!”

“Did I hurt you?” Derek asked sternly.

“It was barely anything and if you stop right now I will rip you a new one. _You’ll_ be the one scarred for life.” Stiles growled threateningly which seemed to be just what Derek needed to get going again though he was once again achingly slow.

Derek pushed his third finger in all the way and simply rested them there, not moving them so that Stiles could adjust to them properly.

“You know, porn is way misleading.” Stiles said so suddenly that Derek startled a bit, pressing his finger into the little bundle of nerves that made Stiles’ cock jump. “Don’t worry, it’s a good kind of misleading. Whenever the bottom guy is getting fingered he’s always tugging at his dick and hissing. I thought that it wouldn’t have felt good unless my dick was being touched but I was so wrong. If I touched my dick right now I’d totally cum in less than a second. In fact, the only thing that’s preventing me from cumming is because you’re slower than old guy with ED and because I’m talking to distract myself. Derek, hurry _up!_ ”

“Stiles.” Derek growled, unexpectedly turned on by Stiles’ words.

“Oh heavens, don’t say my name like that before you’re inside of me! It’ll make me cum! Just get in me! Get inside of me right _now_ Derek Hale!” Stiles yelled at him, panting.

The edge of Stiles’ orgasm was back and really pushing the limits of his control. Derek was giving him a conflicted look but he just stared sternly back.

“Hold on until I get the fourth finger inside of you. I do _not_ want to hurt you.”

Stiles gave a long suffering groan and threw his head back onto the pillow, biting his finger to distract himself from his orgasm. He could feel the coldness of _more_ lube before the pressure on his hole was increased. He paid strict attention to what was going on inside his ass so that if there was any pain he’d be ready for it so that Derek would hurry the _fuck_ up!

Indeed there was some pain but not enough to prompt a wince so Derek continued, pressing his finger into him, stretching him to the farthest he’s ever been stretched. If Derek needed to add a fourth finger and it felt this good then he wondered what Derek’s cock would feel like once it sunk into him. The thought made him groan and his cock drool into the growing pile of precum on his stomach. The slick liquid was already trailing into his belly button and sticking in his treasure trail. That’d be a bitch to get out later but right now he couldn’t care less. If anything he wanted to add his cum to the mess.

“Do you have condoms?” Derek’s gruff voice startled him out of his pleasure fog.

“Uh, do you need one?”

Derek looked surprised by the question. “Uh, well, I’m clean if that’s what you’re asking and I can’t get you pregnant but, I don’t know, it’ll mean easier clean-up later.”

Stiles was already shaking his head. “I don’t care about easier anything. I want to feel _all_ of you inside of me Derek.” Stiles writhed at the thought of being able to feel Derek’s hot liquid inside of him when he came. “Oh yeah, definitely cum inside of me.”

Derek groaned loudly and without removing his fingers from inside of Stiles he poured lube onto his cock and his hole before clicking the lube snapped it closed and tossed it onto the bed. Quickly he slicked his hand around himself, grunting at the stimulation and Stiles watched with hot eyes as he fisted his length, wrapping his fingers around the purple tip before sliding down the veined shaft to the base where it got lost in his pubes. _One day,_ Stiles thought, _I’m going to wrap my throat around him all the way to the base. I’m going to bury my nose in that bush_. Stiles shuddered in excitement and lifted his feet from where they were braced on the mattress to wrap around Derek’s waist.

“Come on Derek, come on and fuck me.” He urged breathlessly.

Instead of saying anything Derek leaned over Stiles and kissed him passionately. Stiles moaned at the shift and the heat of Derek’s mouth on his but gave a startled sound when Derek pulled his finger from within him. He didn’t have time to clench closed at the uncomfortable emptiness because not even half a second passed before the hot tip of Derek’s cock was prodding and pushing at his lose entrance before spreading him open wide and sinking into him.

Stiles gave a choked noise and clutched at Derek’s back, digging his nails in as he felt himself opening up for Derek deep within him. It seemed as if Derek’s cock never ended until finally Derek’s hips settled against his and he could feel the soft weight of his balls against his tailbone. Stiles took deep breaths, ignoring the slight twinges of pain from his thoroughly stretched rim and focused on how good the weight of Derek felt inside and on top of him.

Derek was shushing him gently, pressing kisses all over his face, stroking a hand down his side and up his arm and across his neck and cheek. It wasn’t until at least a minute passed of him adjusting that Stiles realized there were words to go along with his shushing.

“It’s ok Stiles, I got you. You’re doing so good. You feel so good Stiles.” Derek groaned open-mouthed against his cheek, his hips giving the tiniest of thrusts, not even really moving, just sort of undulating.

Stiles breathed deeply against Derek’s cheek and neck, relaxing completely in Derek’s grip before nodding his head. “Ok, I’m good. Move Derek, fuck me. Please.” He pleaded.

Derek grunted and kissed him again before gently, slowly easing his hips back, dragging his cock inside of Stiles until just the tip remained before pushing back in just as slowly. Stiles could feel him trembling with the effort of holding back but he was glad for the gentle treatment.

Carefully they built up a steady rhythm. Stiles breathed deeply and evenly as he got used to the movement. Derek continued to caress his skin and kiss his face, sucking marks into his neck and shoulders that Stiles knew would take a bit of creativity to hide from curious eyes later. Once Stiles was comfortable with Derek’s size and rhythm he shifted to adjust his back, tightening his grip on Derek’s waist and gasped when suddenly the angle was a whole lot better.

“Derek! Right there! Touch that spot again! That’s gotta be my prostate because so far nothing has ever felt that good…Ah!” Stiles cried out loudly when Derek gave a hard thrust against his prostate, lighting up fucking _fireworks_ behind his eyelids. “Yes! _Yes_!”

Derek’s thrusts became less and less controlled as Stiles began whining and writhing beneath him, _begging_ him for more. Stiles took particular joy when Derek began grunting into the crook of his neck as if he were as overwhelmed by this as Stiles was. Their bodies were rubbing against each other in all the right ways, the sweat on their skin making them slide easily together. Stiles’ cock was trapped between his belly and Derek’s with just enough friction to keep him on that edge of pleasure.

The pleasure built up fast as soon as Derek found just the right angle to nail his prostate dead-on on every single thrust. Stiles clutched at Derek the entire time, not wanting any distance between them, wanting to be as connected as physically possible and Derek seemed just as clingy as he was. Stiles moaned into Derek’s skin, crying out on every thrust in and shivering whenever his cock brushed Derek’s abs.

“Derek, hah, gonna cum!” he gasped, feeling that overwhelming pleasure crawling down his spine, pooling low in his stomach.

Derek grunted into his neck. “Yeah. Do it. I’m almost there.” He panted into Stiles’ neck.

Stiles opened his mouth as his orgasm blindsided him, gushing out of him in thick, white streaks across both his and Derek’s torsos. He bit down hard on Derek’s shoulder on the last spurt of it and clenched tight around both Derek’s body and cock. Derek made a surprised half-choking sound in his throat and suddenly his hips stuttered in its rhythm until he shoved in as deep as he could go and bit into the soft skin of Stiles’ neck and held on. Stiles felt it as soon as Derek stopped moving, the twitch of the cock buried deep inside his ass and then the burning heat as Derek came hard inside of him. Stiles mewled into Derek’s skin and clutched at him harder until there was absolutely no room left between the two of them.

It was several minutes before either of them moved, simply enjoying their closeness and their post orgasmic bliss. Stiles could feel Derek going soft inside of him and shivered. His own cock was already mostly soft although if he tried he’d probably be able to get it up again within minutes. He didn’t need that right now though. All he needed was to hold onto Derek as tightly as he could.

“That was amazing.” He whispered hoarsely against Derek’s skin.

Derek made a low rumble of agreement in his chest but made no move to pull out. Stiles was content with that until his cum began to dry between them, sticking them together as effectively as glue.

“I think this is the part where you grab a wet washcloth and clean us up. Or, you know, carry me to the bathroom and help me clean off in the shower. That’s an option as well. I like them both equally.”

Derek drew in a deep breath before letting go of Stiles’ neck and kissing the purpling bite mark.

“Fine, fine, I’m moving.” He said with a small smile and looked down at Stiles’ blissed out, happy face. “You’re right though, that _was_ amazing.”

Stiles did a little jig with his torso. “That’s because _I’m_ amazing.” He laughed.

Derek couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face before kissing Stiles stupid. After another minute ago Stiles finally shoved at his chest which got him going. His soft cock slipped out of Stiles and they both shivered, Stiles giving a small whine when Derek’s cum followed after.

“That feels so weird. It’s all hot and runny and that shouldn’t feel as arousing as it does.” Stiles moaned.

Derek sat back on his heels to watch his thick cum slowly trail out of Stiles’ loose, clenching hole. He couldn’t help himself and caught some with his finger to push back into Stiles. He grinned when Stiles let out a loud whine.

“You better not start something you ain’t gonna finish.” Stiles said threateningly.

Derek just smiled and worked his finger inside of the mess inside of Stiles for a few seconds more just to watch him squirm. After a few more moments he withdrew his finger and kissed Stiles before finally getting up off the filthy lube, cum, sweat smeared bed.

“I’ll be right back.” He promised and walked out of his room clad in the nude.

It wasn’t a minute before he came back with a warm wash cloth to find Stiles prodding around the mess of his asshole. Stiles blushed at having been caught but didn’t stop since Derek’d already seen.

“It feels so weird. Even the medicine never felt like this. Your cum is almost as thick as mine and I haven’t let loose in months probably. How long have _you_ been saving up?”

Derek just shrugged and wiped off his dick and torso before sitting down on the bed beside Stiles and gently wiping up the mess smeared across his ass cheeks, avoiding Stiles’ hole since it was bound to be way too sensitive for the coarse material of the wash cloth. He gently cleaned up Stiles’ torso too and around Stiles’ dick.

“I won’t break dude, just clean me up like you would yourself.”

“I clean myself up much rougher than you’d clean yourself up.” Derek said without a doubt.

Stiles frowned. “You a masochist or somethin’?” he asked with a smirk.

Derek just rolled his eyes before placing the washcloth beneath Stiles’ hole and gently pressed his finger inside of him, scooping his cum out of Stiles as much as he could. Stiles groaned and whined at the oversensitivity. Once Derek had gotten most of it out he gently wiped across Stiles’ puffy pink hole, which was finally starting to clench shut, and wiped his finger off on the last clean part of the washcloth. He stood once more and pressed another kiss to Stiles’ mouth.

“You’re really lovey-dovey!” Stiles exclaimed, taking glee in the slight flush that spread across Derek’s face. “I love it.”

Derek barely resisted rolling his eyes but a small smile did manage to break through which just made Stiles smile wider.

“I’m going to rinse this off.” He said as he retreated out the door.

“I love you!” Stiles yelled after that and finally rolled to his side for the first time in at least half an hour.

His hips twinged slightly and his ass was definitely going to ache later but right now he felt happier than he could ever remember feeling. The smile was still plastered across his face when Derek came back from the bathroom. Without saying a word he climbed into the bed behind Stiles and cuddled up to his back, pressing against him completely from his nose in Stiles’ shoulder to his toes against Stiles’ own wriggly ones. Derek tugged the blanket up over them and settled them in for a nap.

“This is probably the best day of my life despite my stupid sling.” Stiles sighed after a couple minutes.

Derek simply grumbled an agreement against his skin, breathing out hotly over the bite mark. Stiles just kept on smiling until finally he was lost in exhausted, overjoyed sleep.

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still not a summary...sorry...  
> This is the Epilogue so it's really short. Thank you so much for reading! Hope you liked it!

Beacon Hills didn’t feel so much like Hell anymore. Sure there were days where Stiles sank back into depression but Derek was usually there to keep him upright and safe. There were only a few days where he’d harmed himself, like three weeks ago when he and Derek had a huge fight when Derek saw one of those bimbos from Stiles’ third period class draping herself over Stiles in front of the school and he’d left for two days and two nights. It hadn’t meant anything and Stiles had firmly rejected her but Derek was still convinced that there was no way that _that_ was nothing…which it was…nothing. In the wee hours of the morning Stiles hadn’t slept or relaxed either nights and was convinced that Derek, the only one who had ever loved him, who had ever made him feel loved in the way he needed, hated him and was never coming back. Derek must’ve been lurking right outside the window because the second the blade pierced his flesh Derek was there, gripping his trembling hand and pulling his sobbing form into his firm chest.

Scott and Isaac had finally pulled their heads out of their asses and were dating, much to the chagrin of Allison who watched them with barely concealed hatred and envy. They walked through the halls either holding hands or walking so close to each other it looked like their arms were glued together. Frankly, their googly, lovey dovey, goo-goo eyes made Stiles kind of sick but he was happy for them.

After his sling had come off Stiles got the all good from the doctors and was back in school. His dad was working less hours at the station and Derek had actually gotten a full-on job there as a ‘consultant’. Things seemed… _This is totally going to jinx things_ , Stiles thought, things seemed to be going well for once. When he said as much to Scott during lunch the second week he was back at school he’d looked at Stiles with wide, horrified eyes.

“Why would you say that?! You know things like that will eventually turn out bad for us!”

Stiles couldn’t help but laugh. “I know, it’s just…I’m glad that there’s some down time, even for a little while.”

Scott’s expression softened. “Yeah man, I know what you mean. How are you and Derek doing by the way? I haven’t smelled him on you for the past few days.”

Stiles sighed. “Yeah, my dad has him helping out at the station like crazy these days. The times he’s not working he’s sleeping so…no hanky panky.”

Scott made an ick face. “I so don’t need a playthrough of your love life.”

Stiles whacked him on the shoulder. “As if you don’t do the same thing. Unfortunately for me I know the exact sounds Isaac makes when you two are gettin’ down and dirty at bedtime.”

Scott’s mouth dropped open, thankfully foodless, in horror and embarrassment. “Dude!” he flaps his arms around before covering his face in embarrassment. “It sucks because you’re not actually lying. Sorry about that man, we really don’t mean to be that loud.”

Stiles just rolls his eyes and eats the rest of his sandwich, licking the mustard off his thumb before crumpling up his brown paper bag and tossing it into the garbage can right next to their table.

“Well, now you know. I won’t share if you swear to keep yours to yourself as well. Seriously, every single time you have a relationship I end up knowing way too much about it.”

The rest of the day is fine, a little boring, but at least not as terrible as it seemed before he started getting better. When he got home Derek was already there, sitting on his bed and pretending to read one of the random books off of Stiles’ shelves. Stiles groaned and shouldered his backpack to the ground before he threw himself on top of Derek. Derek barely had enough time to toss the book onto the nightstand before catching him.

“Long day?”

Stiles nuzzled into Derek’s chest, enjoying the rumble of his voice. “Every day is long when you’re not there.”

“Cheesy.”

Stiles laughed. “But you love it. Admit it.”

“I’ll never admit such a thing because if I do you’ll never stop.”

“As if I’d stop now.” Stiles sighed and pressed his face into Derek’s chest and wrapped his arms tightly around his torso. “How was work?”

“I had today off. I was planning on seeing you before you left for school but by the time I got here you had already left. What had you gone so early?”

Stiles groaned loud and long into Derek’s sternum. “I have this stupid biology project with one of my classmates, who is a complete and utter moron. Doesn’t know a cow from a chicken I swear.”

“So, does that mean that you’re doing all the work then?”

Stiles shook his head. “I made him do the powerpoint and construction of the model cell we’re doing while I do the research and the paper.”

They were silent for a while, simply enjoying each other’s presence after three long days without each other. Of course it was Stiles who once again broke the silence.

“I’m glad things aren’t as hectic anymore. We really need a break from everything.”

Derek gave a startled chuckle that made Stiles lift his head and give him a suspicious stare.

“I forgot to tell you why I was here.”

Stiles gave him a mock wounded look. “You mean you’re not here to shower your beloved boyfriend with love and attention like he so desperately needs and deserves?!”

Derek just rolls his eyes. “I’ll give you all the love and attention you want later. I need you to pull up whatever you can about mermaids.”

Stiles just stares at him as if waiting for the punch line but when he gets none his face drops into surprise and disbelief. “You’ve got to be joking. Mermaids? Really? Those exist now too? Soon we’ll be watching unicorns eat butterflies and poop rainbows.”

Derek lifted one shoulder in a shrug after rolling his eyes. “I don’t know, maybe. We don’t know for sure but whatever it is came from the water and is causing some serious bad luck. Who knows, could be a Selkie.”

“Selkie. Right.” Stiles sighed and made to get off of Derek to start the research but Derek’s arms held tight around his waist.

“I didn’t say you had to start right now. That can be done later. Give some much needed attention and love to your boyfriend.”

Stiles felt a shock of excitement roll through his body and his face lit up in delight. “Well, if you insist.” He says with mock exasperation and climbs up Derek’s body to press their lips together. “How can I deny my boyfriend _anything_?”

The research doesn’t get done until that weekend.

 

 


End file.
